Ways Wesley Crusher should die:
Mauled by a bear, blown up by an exploding warp core, shot at a ship in
a photon torpedo, eaten by his biology experiment, sent into a transporter
and then blowing up the transporter with his scattered molecules inside,
sent out into space by Q and then suffocating him, assimilated by the Borg
and then shoved out an airlock, hit with a giant phaser, hit by a giant
swarm of tribbles, hit with a giant swarm of bees, his room flooded with
gamma radiation and instead of receiving ridiculous powers, he dies automatically,
electrocuted by a bridge console, piano falls on his head while he heads
for a bathroom that isn't there, swallows dilithium crystals, is murdered
by Data after cheating and winning a game of chess with him, Starfleet
Academy declares a national Kill Wesley Crusher Day, in which all of his
classmates just happen to board the Enterprise at the same time and kill
him when he most expects it, eats poisonous cheese, garlic, plants, grass,
lightning rods, and crest toothpaste, stands on top of a moving shuttle
as it leaves the docking bay, Diana Troi telepathically destroys his mind,
Picard orders his death, Riker decides it's worth court-martial and kills
him, Data kills him because the rest of the crew asks him to, Geordi turns
his visor into a weapon, Guinan suffocates him with her huge hat, and finally,
he simply falls through a conveniently placed hole in the floor of the
ship.
