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Mein Engel

By Xavier

She is sleeping now, in my bed. Curled in a half fetal position, her golden blond hair spread out on the pillow, she looks so peaceful in that stage. I can barely take my eyes away.

And I’m standing here, watching her…

She is so beautiful, so… unbelievably beautiful…

I can’t believe that we could ever be like this. I still remember the first time we met. I was busy; a war was breaking out, the Raider attacks were getting more aggressive each time. It kept us on our toes, and I, as second in command of the station, had to pay attention and concentrate on the problem.

And she walked in, right in the middle of chaos. She was trying to get my attention. And yes, she did get my attention. But I refused to let her know that. She was so persistent in talking to me, though. She kept coming back and tried, over and over again.

And I was rude to her.

Well, we laughed about that later.

I kept her at arm length for a long time. I guess it was because of my fear and what happened to my mother. I blamed Psi-Corps for what happened to her and since she is a telepath and grew up within the Corps, I unconsciously directed my anger, resentment and hatred towards her. After all she is their representative.

Yes, that was all she was to me then, Psi-Corps.

Then, the Psi-Cops came. They were hunting down a rogue telepath, Jason Ironheart. As distasteful of them as I was, I had to meet them. They asked her so many questions, interrogating her, and I felt… I don’t know what I felt then.

They wanted to scan her; she clearly was very distressed over the concept, and I wanted to protect her. The Commander quickly intervened and told them that if she did not want to submit, they could not force her. Of course, they could.

For the first time, I saw her as the vulnerable young woman that she is, instead of that cool, calm, sophisticated young woman that she presents to the world.

I wasn’t there when everything happened. I was at my post, in C&C, trying to keep everything under control. When they came up to C&C to watch Ironheart’s departure, she came with them. She looked terrified, her hair mussed slightly, and I thought that she looked so beautiful. I didn’t have much time to go into that thought much, though.

When Ironheart changed he gave her something, and she collapsed. I was too far away from her to catch her on time, but Commander Sinclair fortunately did.

I went to see her afterward, she was lonely, I could see that. We talked for a long time, and for the first time, I didn’t see her as Psi-Corps, I saw her as her.

Not too long after, we got together, I leaned her feelings for me, and I learned my own feelings for her as well.

Everyday has been a new discovery.

I’m trying to be quiet as I tiptoe into the bedroom, I don’t want to wake her up. My angel is still deeply asleep. Her hair covers her face slightly, hiding the perfection that is hers. The days when I feared her as a telepath seem so far away, it’s like another lifetime.

She is smiling; I wonder what she is dreaming about.

Is it about me?

She’s reaching for me now. I love that, I love the way she snuggles into my arms, wanting me to hold her, and I’m more than happy to comply. I’d give her anything she wants.

Absolutely, anything she’ll ever want.

She has helped me so much. I would have been lost, to myself and to the Corps if she hadn’t been there when I had a mind-burst. She helped me, blocked out all the noises for me, and she still does… Even now, after all the training that she has given me, there are moments when I am so tired and can’t even stand on my own, when she holds me up and gives me her strength.

My love…

I remember those first few days after that unfortunate incident so well; it seems as if it happened only yesterday.

Nightmare…

I woke up, screaming, and she was there, holding me, telling me that everything would be all right. I had nightmares for weeks afterwards and when I’d wake up in the middle of the night, she would hold me tight, rocking me gently, whispering reassuring words in my ear.

I can never repay her for what she did for me. Even when I acted like a spoiled child, she put up with me, my cries of frustration, my rage, my depression.

I love her, my angel.

"Susan…"

She’s waking up, and I get underneath the covers with her. Her deep blue eyes are on me: they are a little blurry from sleep, beautiful blue eyes.

"Why aren’t you sleeping?" She asks me, with that worried look in her eyes again.

She is so caring, more than anyone I have ever known. It doesn’t matter how she feels at the moment, if I appear to be in distress she will ask what’s wrong in that gentle and loving tone, her voice deep and soft.

"I was just… thinking." I tell her and pull her in my arms.

She is so beautiful, her golden blond hair, deep blue eyes, she is perfection. I caress her cheek gently and kiss her softly.

"What were you thinking about?"

"You." I reply and I see a smile appear on her face.

"I love you." I tell her with all the sincerity I can muster, "so much."

"I love you, too." She tells me, her eyes shining in the dim light.

As I lie down, she rests most of her body on top of me, her head resting on my shoulder, arm draped over my chest, snuggling as close as we are able. I feel her inside my mind, her voice whispering, calling out to me.

My angel…

The End.


"Delta leader to delta wing, show's over. Let's collect the stragglers and return to base." ( Signs and Portents )