Humor

Irony and idiocy

bitter truths...

Occasionally the ideas that flit around in the back of my head are far too bitter to be swallowed without a smooth coating of laughter. Or maybe I'll just be in an ironic mood, hoping to catch the unwary with a twist of words. These poems are the result of those moods...

Poems

everybody
(at least once)
should dance too long
laugh too hard
and forget about sleeping

it's hard to be poetic
when your life is helter-skelter
when your thoughts are out of whack
and all your worries run together

it's hard to feel transcendent
when your shoes are out of place
when you need something to smack
and you feel egg on your face

it makes life more interesting

              (she said)

when lightbulbs

explode

        once in a while

I hate my life
I want the knife
A cold clean death
A hiss of breath

but wait...

Turn on the light
I've a paper to write
A speech to make
A test to take

(sigh)
I'm too busy to die.

sometimes

thinking

too  much

makes things more

difficult

than

     absolutely

                necessary

I am nothing.
No one's here.
My mind is blank
But no one cares.
My heart is empty
No one's home.
But that's all right.
I am no one.

Hateful mirror!
Turn your face from me!
Show me not your terrible truths!
I wish mirrors could lie!

Hello: I think I love you.
Goodbye: I hate your guts.
And in-between
we'll just be friends;
The world's always thus.

Quotations

Pragmatist
by Edmund Conti

Apocalypse soon
Coming our way
Ground zero at noon
Halve a nice day.

A Man Said to the Universe
by Stephen Crane

A man said to the universe:
"Sir, I exist!"
"However," replied the universe,
"The fact has not created in me
A sense of obligation."

      "Don't knock ego," D'mal said. "It's all that stands between us and the lamer universe we have the bad taste to be stuck in. Since my opinion of myself is the only thing I know of higher in the karmic pecking order than my own magnificent being, my ego is the only thing I've found worth worshipping. Know what that makes me?"
      "Insufferable?" Jiz suggested.
      "A human being," D'mahl said. "I'm stuck with it, so I might as well enjoy it."
-----Norman Spinrad, "Riding the Torch"

When all think alike, no one thinks very much.
-----Walter Lippmann

"Perhaps no person can be a poet, or can even enjoy poetry, without a certain unsoundness of mind."
-----Lord Macaulay

"Kill him a lot!"
-----Lefty, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve --
I have a habit of losing my shirt
-----Barenaked Ladies, "One Week"

I hear the voices in my head;
I swear to god it sounds like they're snoring!
-----Harvey Danger, "Flagpole Sitta"

Aviod unecessary redundancy.
-----good English advice

It is so sad how whole families can be torn apart by such simple things as a pack of wolves.
-----off of a bulletin board

index loneliness relationships nature rambles oldpoems other profile