Our As Yet Untitled Story

Here's the story index.

You may be wondering 'what the hell are these lunatics doing writing a story and what the hell is it about?'. Well, we wonder the exact same thing. However I (LC) am here to shed some light on the whole thing so that some of us can go back to sleeping at night.

The story started quite a while ago and was deleted several times. No attempt was made to re-create the story- we just kept going. So you need to know background info. Namely- the main characters: That'd be us...

LC- The Australian and resident slut and lead singer of the band. Prone to acts of bimbo-ness and low self-esteem. (often at the same time which is confusing) Tries hard to get in touch with her Celtic spirit despite the fact she has none. Has shagged her way thru part of the British music scene.

KALI- New Jersey freak. Obsessive Noel Gallagher and Oasis fan. Plays lead guitar. Hippy chic who uses too much glitter to be considered normal. Last seen writing her 'i-wish-he-was-my-boyfriend' Liam into the story. As far as we know, he's just her pen pal- but oh well. Almost as slutty as LC, can get a bit emotional.

RED- Australian guitarist and hippy. She went to India once and hasn't gotten over it. Won't go near anything unless it has paisley, curry, or incense all over it. Developing a hash problem. Capable of being the most disgusting- humour wise.

JESS- The overly cynical Canadian bass guitarist. Is in denial about playing bass- keeps telling herself it's cool when she knows better. Often is the only member to see things clearly and is generally the one with the most self-control. Anti-social. Lives in a clothespile of cargo pants wherever she goes- like a mountain of a security blanket.

GABY- The Venezualan alcoholic drummer. Really very shy and sweet when not under the unfluence of alcohol. Yet she's always pissed so no one sees that side of her. A crazy, mental drummer- prone to terrific drum solo's when she feels the need. Ricky Martin fan. You have been warned...

Right. So that's all organised. As far as it goes- Jess and Gaby haven't managed to update the story themselves so it's just me, Red and Kali doing all the work. Which is fine. You'll know who's writing by reading the (LC's bit) or (Kali's bit) at the start of a section- it's really not that hard to understand.

As the story goes, we've all moved to London cos... we'll it's a funky place and Kali's just shagged Noel Gallagher. He was at our apartment for all of 10mins in which LC and Jess (mostly jess) (it's her fault) made up this story about how we were in this band trying to break the UK. Noel, being stupid, believes her and gets us a record deal at EMI and a place at Glasto. Only problem being- none of us know how to play any instruments exceedingly well. And we have no songs. We get the record deal by charming the manager and it all goes from there.

Expect to see cameo's from various pop stars of the UK scene. You should be able to figure out what's what- however, any questions, praise or abuse can be emailed to one of us (our addy's are on the main pg). LC is always happy to deal with this however- so email her. She likes mail.

Also, there may be references to LIAWOD or Kate Gordon and her baby Ian. Do not be confused (or do- it's your choice). See, there's this story on the net called Loving in a World of Desire and it's fucking great. It's on the Entertain Me! site which Kali has a link for- I think, on her little page. It's like a novel and takes months to read but it's basically about this chic in a band called Kate Gordon who's a slut and shags absolutely everyone in the Brit music scene, and ends up with a kid called Ian who she had with Crispian of Kula Shaker. If this is too much for you to take in, don't worry and when you get to the bits about LIAWOD(there's only one or two)- just smile and nod and know that they're really funny. *Really* funny.

Oh and please remember- this is all fiction. As if we'd be capable of such nonsense. Well, we might... and also- our personalities in the story are not the same as real life (in real life we have no personality to speak of) so just sit back and let it alllll wash over you. Cheers.

(Red's Bit) All celebrities are kindly used without their permission. No one gave us permission to use any of their names. If it so happens that you have been mentioned in our story (yeah, right) please email me and give me your address :)

LC is a shit (but she knows I luv her)

(er... she does? -LC)

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8 - The End
Kali's Reflection
LC's Final Words
Jess's Final Words (or whatever she wants to call it)
Back to the GB page