Kali's poems

Here's my poetry collection so far......and, aha, I think I figured out how to do paragraphs! Oh yeah, & everything here is copyrighted, so don't try anything stupid. (thats to all the non GB people. I know you guys wouldn't do anything w/ my stuff.)

She's leaving home/going to where she's understood/tired of playing their games/ready to be something, if only she could/no one is listening/but she's screaming so loud/they just want her covered over/just another face in the crowd/she paints the sumemr sky/with the faces of her enemies/red sky at night/devil's delight./her hearts gone through a metamorphisis/and everything is changed/there has to be something for me, more than this/is waiting in the future/more than this is what my life is/more than this is waiting, something pure and true/more than this/is waiting for you.


Home is so far away

voices call and still I stray

Your heart is hardened

Your mind is shameful

I wish I could leave this behind

But I'm just not able.


Everyone's life is wrong for them

the heart is no excuse

to do wrong unto those

that you mislead.

There is no perfect life

no perfect existence

we all need something to

seek sympathy for.

life is a lonely voyage

of ups and downs

and loneliness

and loss

an emptiness in your soul

that will never be filled

like the bullet hole in

the little boy's heart.


Why do we seek love? / Is it that wonderful? / Is being alone such a horrible sin? / Or does everyone mistake love / for somethign else in their / mind, not their soul / sex? abuse? drugs? / someone to help pay the bills? / love isn't what it's made out to be / most people never know true love / most people don't realise / that you can love anything / that is true.


Some days

I see adolescent boys

and wonder

What they get from staring

at women

and treating them as objects.

But then I remember

that few will grow up to be real men

And all is forgotten.


Is there a sense in wanting something you know you will never have? / Should you live in a dream land / and imagine your fantasies in your mind / or keep living in the boring / uneventful, mediocre place / that you call reality?


I saw a woman today / She drove a station wagon / She had three kids / She wore K-mart clothing / and had a horrible perm / and as I watched her / children in the backseat / with unbuckled seatbelts / and her lighting up another / Marlboro with her pink fingernails / I thought / there's no reason why some people / Should live that way / and other's shouldn't. / My friends and I make fun of her / and then I think of Sidney. / She didn't have a lot of money / but she was proud, like / that woman. / and I loved her for being / a good person until the day / She left us. / I remind the woman that / her children aren't wearing seatbelts. / through her hardened face / she smiles and says / "how considerate. god be with you." / And I wish her the same (even though I don't believe.) as she pulls away/ and her children buckle their seatbelts.


The old couple don't

look at one another.

they don't touch

they don't speak.

they look through one another.

I decide I want to die alone.

(If this is what growing old is.)


The willow tree leans out over the murky lake water

looking at its reflection against the dusky sky

and asks itself why it never dies


His blue eyes

stare at the blue sky

and at the black pavement

then at the green grass.

He looks down at her pale face

and at the black gun

and the red blood

spreading across the grey pavement

into the green grass

and an invisible tear trickles down

his tanned face

as he runs off into the orange sunset.


Carelessness / Loyalty / Fighting / Trust / Lies / Faithfulness / Pain / Support / Loneliness / Happiness / Loss / Peace / Emptiness / Companionship / Humiliation / Understanding / Misery / Purpose / Hate / Love.


I'm chasing after you

The king of my thoughts

I fall and stumble down the icy banks

encaptured like a crystal in a frozen lake

Whenever I catch up to you I can't win

you stall me and I lag behind

red arrows of consequence point out the course

and you don't ever let me in to complete it.


Strange sorrow sat next to me

it turned it's ugly head to see

How can I dis-chord this young girls song

How can I force her to believe that all is wrong

Strange sorrow changed the seas tide

And forced all truth and compassion to hide

She drew from life

and forced innocence to shy

The lakes and rivers dried

the lights in the morning sky died

the mountains crumbled

and the trees became earth

Not even the greatest of gods

could remove this curse

Children died asleep in their beds

parents stared them down with hate in their heads

Love was no more

left only was desire never quite reaching its shore

Soulds roamed freely - and darkness came to visit me

I was tied won by hate

and forced to deny the idea of fate

confused and misled

I watched the sands of time run by

as my mind fled

back to the ocean

the steady lapping waves

through the cemetary over a million childrens graves

resurrecting the mountains

bringing back the sky

saying goodbye to strange sorrow

and letting my spirit fly.


I'll be

your coffin when you die

your foothold when you climb

the imagination in your mind

the meants for you to survive

the long and winding road you drive

your conscience that twists deep inside.

I'll be

the truth behind your lies

the shadows reflecting behind your eyes

sweet surrender when your soul cries

your bravery when your courage shies

the entwining force between our lives.

I'll be

your angel standing by.


"Something Out Of Nothing" (one of the few poems w/ an actual title hehe)

I pretend I'm not upset

that you're tearing up my insides

You apologise

and I pretend that I don't know why

I leave early

and cry myself to sleep

because it hurts more to hear you

say to me the words that I fear

It seems like there's time for everyone but me

spending Saturday afternoons on the phone

while I sit here, aching and alone

You say it's time.

I feel like it's me.

I don't know how to tell you

it seem sso unintentional.

"Our lives are forever changed, we will never be the same - the more you change, the less you feel"

things should be the way they were

so lets fight the hands of time, you and I

we used to play from dusk til dawn

twilight to starlight

sun to moon

Without a care in the world

yet now your bones ache (you say)

your mind is tired (you say)

your life is hell (you say)

But is it only all those things to me?

My friend...?

Is this something out of nothing?


orange and purple haze the mountains glow / loud and cold like a freight train the wind blows / and here I sit, messenger in the dark / wondering what goes on in the secrets of your heart / as a child I played on this now frozen grass / the stars keep telling me that I can't change the past / this empty sunset sky has but one star / I think of myself as that abandoned light / you, the sun, has gone down and left me to wonder who you are / the wind blows and my place in the sky / is shaded from a little girl's view / by the dark, leafless tree branch of change / I wish we could get back to being the me and you / that we both once knew.


Too late to turn back now

I've found you somehow

the shadows have allowed

me to realise

that the sky is your eyes

the mountains are your heart

the sun is your soul

an dwe must never be apart

And if we died right now

all I need is to know

that the sky is my eyes

the mountains are my heart

the sun is our love

will you never ask to stop this love

because the sky is our eyes

the mountains are our hearts

the stars are our love

never really changing

because our lives are the presence of the world.


"Taylor"

She says living is just too loud / she thinks the world is her playground / She says things she thinks are so deep / but in reality her mind is asleep / She says that lvoe will always leave / but I know all she is is naive. / She's just like everyone else / Too scared to think and be herself.


"Love Is What"

Love is suicide

Love is you and I

Love is sleepless nights

Love is what tells you it's alright

Love is suicide

Love is in your eyes

Love is ribbon skies

Love is what makes my darkside light.

Love is suicide

Love is where we hide

Love holds all your pride

Love is what gives my wings flight.

Love is suicide

Love is why we lie

Love brings higher sights

Love is what makes my whole world bright.

Love is suicide

Love is why we die

Love is the only thing to make you cry

Love is what brings me to stand by your side.


"To SCG"

Snow flurries float down lightly outside my window / in sharp contrast to the torrents of rain that now batter my insides / tears are flooding my eyes / and making streams into rivers down my cheeks / the once white bottom of the newly created twin lakes turns a red clay colour and stings / the redness spreads under my eyes / as my dry, cracked desert lips quiver in the hysterics of the moment / my moistened tunnel throat senses a time to choke and speak / incoherant tongue to the walls or anything that will listen / my teeth now press into the flesh of my bottom lip / damming up the emotion / making the trapped blood into a flush of colour / everything has been taken from me / and not given back / and this well has finally run dry.


If this is what friends are then

I envy those without

your words hurt me more than you'll ever know

I can't eat or sleep, I'm waiting

for the tears to come

ain't it funny how it only matters coming from you?

maybe its because you're the only one that matters?

maybe because you're the only one who understands?

maybe because I believed in you?


I try to write but I don't know what to say

My pens reluctance grows with each passing day

My spirit is so melancholy

I can't understand what you find so endearing about me

every page brings a different mood

Yet still you remain captivated by my ideas and attitudes

who are you, young man

to be so interested in this life suburban?

Why must you confuse me so

And make me hold in when I want to let the truth flow

You do it not with words or with force

You do it somehow else through a subliminal course

it pulls me close yet doesn't follow through

yet I can't keep myself from saying I love you.


"Just Wanted You To Know..."

I'm not bound to forget / that you've filled my life with shit / Bad feelings but good memories / You locked your door and took away my key / If you ever need a friend / I would've been there til the end / But now the time has gone stale / And my feelings fade to pale / So I just wanted you to know / it doesn't mean all that much to me / 'cos as far as I'm concerned / the old you still belongs with me / And I'm getting over now / So I hope someday you'll find yourself in my place / So you can feel just what it's like / A slap in the face / One day we were best friends / Two months later I found the bends / What happens when one doesn't care? / What happens to the laughs we once shared? / And it's not just me, I know that now / I'm not the only one / 'cos I know other people who see that you've lost and now you shun / You opened my eyes thanks a lot for that / And I'm so glad I looked beyond your niceties to see the facts / I'm happier now, so I just wanted you to know...


"My Secret"

The night closes in on me

In my sweet dreams you come to see

The light in my darkside

The shoulder on which my soul cried

My secret love

So secret you don't even know

You make me so crazy

my boundaries so hazy

My world is all turned around

When you're here I'm never down

You make me love you

With all the sweet things that you do

And you help me in and out of all the tough ends

So how can we just be friends?


"To the GBers..."

One dreamer in an Indian palace

One thristy soul finding her Oasis

One wanderer holding all in her cargos

One living a life loca

One searcher spinning around her pole

One artist shouting govinda

One believer who's eyelids glitter

One adventurer making sense of her pile

One friend teasing life

One traveler left in London

One American.

One Venezuelan.

One Canadian

Two Aussies.

Five stars in the same sky.


I listen to the wind blow

outside my window at night

I hear it whistle underneath

the steel shutters

and hide my face as the

lightening flashes and

temporarily brightens the

dark night sky

I break into a sweat and

toss my blankets to the floor

and lie awake

until daylight

questioning what is

truth and what is lies.


She goes out again / In her mini skirt / and her high heels / with her Brooklyn accent / to guard her from the / evils of the world / down to the corner / She does business with a stranger / At 2 AM she's home again / Luckily, her husband and two children / have not awoken.


The young man sits alone

Isolated, lonely, broken.

She has gone.

and taken his home, his life, his love.

He is tortured inside

by some force unexplainable

he will not speak

he will not move.

She has gone

and taken his soul.


Some people wish they were superstars

or superheroes

or anything that *sounds* better than what they are

But no one ever stops to think "was that worth it?"

Because they are scared.

Because they know the answer.


The noise is killing me / doesn't anyone ever shut up? / is this sleepless place / the only home for me? / Daphne cries into her pillow at night / no one knows / she can't tell them/ Mother gets worried / she thinks her child is growing up and living / so she gives her more chores to do / and locks her away from the rain / teachers her that God will punish her for wrongdoing / Daphne waits til Mother sleeps / and climbs out the bedroom window / Daphne runs to the neighbours garage / where she meets her lover / He is beautiful. / They run. Freedom. / Daphne goes home, back to her prison / but Mother waits. / Daphne is doomed. / Doomed to spend her life isolated. / Her lover waits, night after night / But Daphne can't break her chains / Mother is too careful / Her lover cries and never forgets.


Brother and sister argue

over who gets the front

Why can't all of our arguements be so simple?

Why are our hearts made to be broken

and glued back together

more times than anyone can count in our lives?

Mother settles the dispute.

Husband and wife argue

over silly little things

selfish things

that seem like such a big deal.

Mother isn't here to say

who is right and who is wrong

In the end, husband's hand makes the decision

and wife cries

He doesn't understand why he hit her

and he doesn't understand why she is gone.


The pretty girl gets all the attention / but in the end she is alone / and her dreams have walked out the door. / (she is locked in and she has lost the key.)


go ahead.

act like you're interested

it makes me feel good.

it makes me feel wanted.

the place it puts me in - i never want to leave.

keep acting.

maybe one day you can act ou the scene that i left you in

but this time, act alone.


"Pass Over"

wind spirals around me

and sends shivers under my arms

my bones crawl beneath my skin

chills skip up and down my spine

lids over my eyes

i look up at my imagined diamond sky

the air is cool against my skin

as the sound envelopes me

a deafening silence

a quiet roar

free air roams between my fingers

my wrists are bleeding adoration

the blood of desire chooses its paths among the leaves and pebbles of the forest floor

deep red something

contrasted against the dull brown of the crackled leaves

the sky virgin white

the leafless trees mourner's black

edges are blurred

like an amateur black and white photograph

negative lightening in the night sky.


Trusting you is like / crawling on hands and knees on a cold hard basement floor towards / a bed of nails with eyes shut / I know hurt is coming in the near future / but I'm uncertain as to when / why / and how it will happen / How can you ever trust anyone / if it is within human nature to doubt and question? / Trusting you should be like / walking wide eyed and barefoot / across a plush carpet in a warm, bright place / without any doubting thoughts rising up in the back of my mind / like the waves slapping the rocks on a rough day at sea / And you should trust me as a child who believes anything his mother tells him / simply because she is his flesh and blood, and he is hers / without second thoughts bursting forth in your mind / like an iredescent bubble floating through the sun soaked summer air / as a child marvels at its sudden lack of solidity / Being honest with you is like / being a iger who throws herself against her cage yet never escapes / But I am uncertain as to how / and when / it is right for you to accept the truth / How canyou ever be honest with someone if it is within human nature to lie? / Behing honest with you should be like / the fabricated image of life in the sixties / a consequence free environment in which you find acceptance and escape / And you should be honest with me / the way a machine always has a way of telling you something isn't working right / stalling, not stopping, slowing, speeding, breaking down and getting fixed / Loving you is like / force feeding a healthless patient / the scent of the hospital unbearable / tubes running from veins through machines / And I am uncertain as to how / and why / I bother standing by your side / (hiding in your ever present shadow) / How can you ever love someone if it is within human nature to hate what is different from yourself? / Loving you should be like / the elation of walking barefoot through fresh green dew soaked grass / on a bright Easter Sunday morning / the cool air on my face and the heat of the sun upon my back / And you should love me / as a puppy loves its master / naturally grateful, always loyal / never asking too much or too little / not afraid to be close / and not leaving because one small thing went awry.


Don't look back

They're not worth it

If it was really meant to be

It wouldn't have been so shit

It's made me more open

And made me realise

That the time we have here

Is so precious in each our eyes.


Abandonment

is what you made me go through

Betrayal

is what you did to me

Lies

are what you told me

Hell

is what you put me through

Fakery

is what you subjected me to

Anger

is what you made me feel

Hurt

is what you gave me

Oblivious

is how you acted towards me

Innocence

is what you tried to convince me of

Friendship

is what you once gave me

Caring

is what you once did for me

Laughter

is what we once shared

Hate

is all you've left me with.


(here's one I just started...I haven't got to finishing it yet.)

You're afraid to cry

Nothing you say tells me why

And you're afraid to touch

Shudder away coldly, 'cos it's too much