Our As Yet Untitled Story (Part 4)

(Kali's bit) Red stumbled down the stairs as Gaby and LC followed. The LC remembered she left poor Molko hiding under the bed and went back into her room to help him out. Everyone tossed their food into the proper receptacles and decided that they'd have to get Kali to think of something really kewl and entertaining to do. Kali walked downstairs w/ Liam in tow.

"Wot? Why's everyone looking at me?"

"'Cos you have to come up with a good idea of something for us to do." Jess informed her.

"Oh. Well I don't bloody know what to do."

It's a sad state of affairs when you live in the middle of bloody London yet you can't think of anything to do. "I know!" piped up Gaby. "Wot?" everyone asked, out of boredom. "Lets go to the cinema and see a cool movie. And since nothing good is out right now why don't we just make it up and go see Velvet Goldmine?" Gabs suggested. No one else could think of anything better to do, so all the chicks (and molko) retired to the bedrooms once again to reapply make up and pick out clothes etc. Jess dove into her clothes pile head first and came out dressed in a completely different pair of cargos. "I'm ready!" she chirped. (whoa, Jess chirping) Red threw on some indian wrap thing and a set of love beads and sat down by Jess to watch the BBC evening news and make fun of the newscasters. Kali came down next dressed in a little leather get up. She walked over to Liam purposefully holding a bottle of gel in one hand and a comb in the other, and of course, a chase insued. Gaby slid down the banister a moment later in her latest clubbing/drinking gear and made herself comfortable at the countertop in the kitchen, which she often liked to pretend was a bar...LC and Molko, OF COURSE, took the longest, seeing as first they had to shag, then they had to pick out outfits that matched, and then they had to put on the perfect coordinating lipstick and eyeliner...

(Oh, and Stef and Steve just sat in the corner being quiet) "Well whats everyone standing around for?" LC asked. "Let's go 'ave it large!"

"Extremely fookin' large!" Kali added, grabbing her leather hip purse.

After being mobbed by about twenty kids asking for Ruka and Placebo stuff, the gang finally found themselves seated in the lurvely plush downtown London theatre. "I feel so out of place. I mean, I'm working class, man, what the fook am I fookin' doin' 'ere?" Kali pondered. "Great, she's going in to her Noel act again" LC sighed, stealing a tub of popcorn from Molko. "Fookin' ell" Kali said, looking up at the ceiling. "They ain't got fookin' stuff like this at fookin'..." Liam interrupted her (thank god) and snogged 'er. LC thanked him profusely and went back to sticking popcorn kernels in Molkos hair. The lights went down, the previews rolled on, and already there was mucho groping going on. Gaby managed to get herself a seat right next to Robbie Williams, and decided to forget their bad past and give him a good squeeze. Jess sat there, drooling, enthralled by the movie. "Guys on guys...girls on girls...guys on girls....girls on guys..." she mumbled, throughout the entire orgy scene. Kali started singing "Girls And Boys" before getting another snog off Liam to shut her the hell up. Red had lit up another joint and was slumped so far back into the seat that everyone had to keep checking just to make sure she was still there.

"Well that was damn good!" Jess said, standing up and smiling to look at her companions. Gaby was riding Robbies lap whilst Red sat with her eyes half closed and her wrist hanging limply over the armrest. Kali and Liam had been snogging for the past forty five minutes, LC and Molko were touching up their make up, and Stef and Steve had mysteriously disappeared. "Guys!!? Didn't you pay attention to anything in the whole damn movie??" Jess yelled. "Wha?" Kali turned around, lip gloss smeared all over. "Jesus." Jess sighed. "Let's get pissed!" Liam said, standing up and throwing his fist in the air. "Yeah." Red mumbled, as enthusiastically as possible when you're that stoned. So they all scrambled out of the cinema (with Robbie Willams in tow) and started off down the street searching for the hottest night spots of downtown London. (that sounded a bit brochure like, didn't it?) The found a spot. Which I shalln't name right now, 'cos I don't know a name. So. Gaby made a rush for the bar as Kali was dragged onto the futuristic dance floor for a little bumping and grinding by her male companion. That left Gaby, Robbie Williams, Red, Stef & Steve, LC, Molko, and Jess. What a crew. "Alright, someone get me a pint" LC yelled. Molko scrambled to the bar and returned with a glass full to the top. "Well where am I going to sit?" LC asked, looking at him as if he were stupid. Molko took her hand and lead her to the nicest wooden bar stool in the place. Gaby had lured Robbie into the toilets. Hrmm. "Phwoar!!" Red gasped. "Who's that?" She asked, pointing towards a bunch of club goers foot-tapping in the corner near the DJ. Before anyone could answer, Red had made her way across the dance floor to join the foot tapping party. "So." Jess said, looking back and forth between Steve and Stef, her only remaining companions. "Whaddya say we get pissed out of our heads and dance the night away?" she suggested. Steve and Stef made no protest and before you knew it, there was a Steve-Jess-and-Stef sandwich going on out on the disco-lit dance floor. Which is totally out of character for Jess but hell, she's drunk, she doesn't know any better. "Oh my god, look at the way those cargo pants clash with the pink strobe lights" some fashion types observed as they watched Jess's performance. "I'm just madddd about Saffronnn"...everyone stopped dancing and turned their attention to the karoke area. Kali was standing up onstage. "Saffron's mad about me, Oh yeahh I'm just mad about Saffronn, and she's just MAD about me! They call me mellow yellowww" she sang in the sexiest voice she could muster under all the alcohol. Not to mention she was being choked to death by the smoke.

LC and Molko turned around to watch their pal make an ass of herself (what else is new?). (LC's bit)

LC snickered to herself. Karaoke. Oodles of fun fer the family. And she could do her Fever thing up on the stage.... She dahsed over the moment Kali finished and claimed her spot. Her history of pole dancing made everything slightly more exciting, and before you knew it, the entire joint- including the one in Red's hand, was rockin' to the jazzy sounds. And then Red got fed up. She whispered summat into Jess's ear and the two trooped onstage. The opening bars to Paranoid Andriod rang out. LC dashed away for the absolute shame of it all. Can you imagine how bad it'd sound with just one sober person trying to sing along- let alone two pissed up lunatics? (Kicking squealing gucci little PIGGY!) After Gaby had wowed everyone with a bit of South American stuff, Red and LC (like they weren't humiliating themselves enough) went for the big bang- Never Forget by Take That. The official TT anthem. And of course Robbie joined in on his bits 'come one, come on, everybody everybody'. Will the legend ever die? yes, probably if I bother to get over it, but anyway, back at the bar a little later on...

Gab and Ron were having a full on conversation over the top of Molko and LC who were trying to have a nice moment together to chat abt things. And actually not shag. Phwoar- wouldn't mind though.

"Yeah wellllll" Gaby slurred. "Acid wash jeans rock the big time mate- i think you just let yourself go too often."

"No I don't! I bloody know about fashion and what's in and acid wash is out darling. I'm a bit mad on football gear though." Robbie told her.

Gaby gushed. "WOW!!!! Football is like so mental I just love guys who play with balls and stuff. It's so sexy. Sometimes I wish I was a guy who played football just so I could look in the mirror and die- how orgasmic."

"I play football." Rob said looking macho.

LC scoffed. "Right. I've seen the TT video's. You're not exactly Beckham."

"OI!" Gaby shoved LC. "Can't you see I'm trying to have an intelligent grown up conversation about football? Don't ruin this for me LC cos after all, I'm a drummer. I have strong arms yknow."

Rob smiled. "Do ya? Well, that's always good to know."

Gaby muttered summat in South American and giggled to herself.

Jess had Steve in a headlock.

"Right!" She announced. "Now if a fan had you like this, i don't think you'd be very kind to them would you? Exactly. And there's your breaking point. Headlock territory. It is officially the point in which you stop your bloody niceness and become mean- am i right?"

Steve smiled up at Jess. "I can see down your top if you grip me more to the left."

Jess seethed. "It's not possible! You can't be nice all the time! When will you get angry? When???"

Steve shrugged and Jess let him go. He tried to hug her in a friendly way but she shoved him off. She edged to wards Stefan to see if the headlock would make him angry, but he gave a terrified look and sloped off into the crowd.

"What abt this?" Jess said poking Steve. He smiled. She poked him again. He smiled. She poked his nose. He stuck his tongue out at her. She poked his eye. He stared at her.

"Excuse me- did you just stab my eye?" He glared.

"Why yes I did." Jess said proudly, happily receiving the abuse which turned into a brawl. Soooo- Steve is capable of negative moods then.

Red rubbed her hands together in a triumphant way. "Well this should be interesting." She told Kali and Liam who were snogging and therefore not listening. "I mean, we actually have paragraphs now. Reading shall be so much easier- what do you think Kali?.... what do you mean 'meurghphserlpisihshaioreer'? I can't undertand 'snog talk'. Liam? Aren't you excited about punctuation? I know I am. I just turns me on man- take those apostrophe's for example- have you every seen anything so orgasmic? And exclaimation marks- that's an orgasm on it's own." Kali goraned as Liam's left hand disspaeared. "Sentence structure really gets me going. Adjectives. Verbs. It's just too much..... Kali?.... Oi Kali i can't see your face anymore, you're lover's head is in the way... oh that's better. Anyway- language is fun. I love english lessons- they're the best. I could live on books.... Liam? Where'd he go? Why is he under the table? Oh well, at least we can talk now Kals.... so, can't you tell LC is writing this? Cos I hate english and sentences and words but she loves it.... Kali are you ok? Oh it's just that your eyes rolled back into your head for a bit.... anyway, I'd rather be doing art and photography than crapping on about sentence structure..... you're kinda sweating Kali, maybe you should have a drink- you can have mine.....I actually got this great shot of Jess yesterday, sleeping in her clothespile. All you can she is her head so it's like, a mountain of cargo's and a face..... it's so funny.....Kali you look like you're in pain- do you want help? 'yes yes yes'? Ok then.... will a painkiller do? Oh look, Liam's back, he can help you."

Liam snuggled next to Kali. "Sorry Red," he said. "What were you saying? Summat abt how it's great we have paragraphs now?"

(Kali's bit - LC I just have to say how damn funny that whole thing was. It was so Red, too. Think back to the Jess & cream thing. Good stuff.) "Yeah, I was saying..." Red rambled on. Kali sat back taking sips of her gin & tonic & looking quite high.

"Red, man. I wanted to laugh about the Jess picture but I just couldn't concentrate long enough. Sorry about that. But tell it again so I can laugh this time." Kali said. "Okay. Well I got this picture of Jess sleeping in her clothespile-" Kali burst out laughing.

"Kali, I'm not done yet" Red whined. "I was saying, its like a mountain of cargoes and a face." Kali choked on her drink. "Glad you found it that funny."

"Mee too" Kali replied, passing out on Liam's shoulder.

"Hey guys. I pissed off Steve." Jess said, proudly. "We should get out of here. I mean we've all done karoke, we're all drunk, we've all danced, I've pissed off Steve, Kali's had one, LC and Molko are talking seriously which is scaring the shit outta me I dunno 'bout anyone else, and Gabs has been asked by Robbie if she'd like a little English in her. So I suggest we leave before there's a little English all over the bar too." Jess walked over to the door with Stef and Steve, her new friends that followed her everywhere. "Besides, I need to put my new cargos in the clothespile."

Molko, LC, and Red walked over to join Jess, Steve & Stef (has a nice ring to it, huh? ;). Liam got up and walked over, then realised Kali had fallen off the bar stool and dashed over to help her.

"Doesn't deal with liquor very well, does she?" he said, carrying her over to the group.

"That and a number of other things" LC replied.

Gaby & Rob were still at the bar, oblivious to the group of people standing in the doorway waving their arms and shouting "GABRIELA ROMERO! Your grandmother is here!!". Gaby giggled and leaned in close to Robbies face hoping to show off a bit of stuff at the same time. Then, all of a sudden...WHACK! Gaby's evil South American tempered grandmother slapped her upside the head and lead her away by her ear.

"I gives you de money to live in dese plays and des is how you repay me, girl?" her grandmother shouted, getting a bit red in the face. Gaby was stoned & drunk and had no idea what was going on. Robbie stood up in an attempt to save his damsel in distress.

"Hey, lady, who do you think you are?" He said in a voice that sounded much better in his head than it did coming out.

"I am her grrrandmother, you opossum!" she shouted.

"Whoa. Her grandmother rolls her R's too." LC observed. "Must run in the family." Red added.

"And yous! Yous de friends of my Gabrriela? How you do des to her? I'm going to take Gabrrriela home with me to Venezuela, where she can be away from dese people like yous!" she threatened, waving her hand at the group.

"No, no, don't do that!" Liam said, holding Gaby with one arm and Kali with the other so neither would fall over. "Yeah, please!?" LC added, making a sad face. "We love Gab...riela" Molko said, getting down on his knees. "Yeah, she's fun" Stef stepped up.

"Well, I don' trust yous. Des is my grrrandaughter, an yous ruin her!" she shouted.

"Dude, we didn't ruin her, she was already an alcoholic when she got here" Red replied.

"Whatttt?? My Gabrrriela eez a alcoholic? No! No No! Des is not true! You make des up!" she began shouting in Venezuelan while everyone stood around with confused expressions on their faces. "Come on Gabrriela I take you home to Venezuela an' get you to de AA meetings. You eez no alcoholic! No!" and with that, her grandmother ordered five bottles of lager to go from the bar and left with Gaby in tow, screaming for help. Or rather, drooling for help. Whichever.

"Well now what?" Jess asked, turning to the sad, sad, sad looking group of friends she had aquired. (LC's bit)

LC burst into tears. "I want my Gaby!"

Robbie nodded. "Mate- so do I." And with that, he ran out of the pub and chased after Gaby and her grandmother. South American temper and Northern English football hooliganism came head to head as the two fought over Gaby. Molko held LC and told her everything would be alright. Liam jumped up and down and cheered with Red while Kali told them to shut up. Stef looked scared and Jess and Steve giggled away.

A few screams, punches, threats, stabs, rips, shrieks and tears later, a bleeding and bruised Robbie stumbled back to the group with Gaby in his arms. Everyone cheered.

"What did you do?" Red asked amidst her smokey haze.

Rob grinned. "I told her some things I shouldn't have said and she was so horrified and disgusted that she took off. Gaby also said some horrible things."

"Ah the youth of today." Jess said shaking her head. "So manipulative, so cheeky, so immature, yet so fun. We are the target market. We are the chicken voices in our heads. We are the yuppies networking. We are the-" Red covered Jess's mouth with her hand and the group walked along, listening to the mumble of Radiohead drivel coming from Jessica.

LC collapsed onto her bed. Sleep. That hadn't been done for ages. Good God, it was almost day time again. She collapsed into a heavy slumber and refused to roll over for Molko. So he had to sleep on the new blue couch for the night.

It was so quiet that Red realised a tap was dripping. it was pissing her off. Majorly. The police sirens from the station next door going off every five minutes were fine- but the bloody drips. She had to stop it. Quietly, she wandered upstairs to one of the bathrooms. Nothing. Absolutely fine. She tried the bathroom down the hall- Kali and LC's. Oh no- it couldn't be. But it was. And she had to do summat about it. Sighing and twiddling her thumbs she decided to take the plunge. She dived into the shower, ignoring the sleeping and naked Steve, and turned it off. Of course, her hand slipped and knocked the soap off it's holder and onto Steve's head. Which he wans't too pleased about. Red tried to hide but Steve woke up.

"Oh I'm sorry." Red began. "I just- you were just, asleep and the drips...."

Steve waved his hand. "It's ok. I'm fine here. I have nowhere to sleep anyway."

"yeah but you're...." Red began.

"All wet? Yeah I know. Well, if you can find somewhere else for me to sleep...." He got up.

Red stepped back, avoiding any sort of physical contact and looked for a towel. But there wasn't one. Bugger.

"You do realise you're..." Red said. "Very tired and hungover- I know. A couch would be nice. Do you have a spare couch?" He asked.

Red tried to keep her vision above shoulder level. "Of course." She lead him out of the bathroom, praying that no one would be awake to witness a half stoned Red padding along the hallway, followed by a naked and wet Steve. "Aren't you cold?" She hinted.

"No I'm fine. I'm from Manchester which is further north so I'm used to these temperatures. Yeah- I'm absolutely fine. Working up a sweat, even."

Red cringed at the thought. She racked her brain for a couch- ah yes! LC's room! And then she'd be rid of the naked entity. Phew. "Ah- LC has a spare couch which I'm sure she'd let you have." Red began to walk off leaving Steve outside LC's room.

"Aw thanks Red." Steve said throwing his arms open and waiting for a hug.

Red gulped and backed down the stairs. "It's ok, really, I don't deserve a hug."

"But you do!" She told her.

"No- no i-" She began, but Steve made a run for her- *not* summat you want to see a 29yr old man do in his current state.

Red bolted. She ran downstairs and slammed her door to the cry of 'i'll get you later!'

LC woke up with a hangover. Her head hurt like hell and her vision was blurred. Yet she was still able to make out the image of her baby curled up next to a naked and happy looking Steve. She stared on in horror. Oh good god- had it really come to this? Had her tiredness and rejection of Molky last night really led to something so desperate? Closing her eyes and counting to 10, she snuck out of the room and to the kitchen where everyone else appeared to be leading normal lives. (Kali's bit) Yep, Red was making a new batch of tofu while Jess waited for Kali to finish making her pancakes and toast.

"Hurry up, woman!" Jess & Liam commanded, pounding their fists on the table.

"Don't get yer bloody knickers in a twist" Kali mumbled, trying to get herself to sneeze on the food.

Red sat down & started reading the newspaper w/ her helping of tofu. Gaby was still passed out upstairs with Robbie who was trying to nurse her back to health. LC stood in the doorway looking frazzled.

"Can I score some breakfast?" she asked, looking at Kali hopefully.

"Oi...fine." Kali sighed, unable to say no to anyone. Well it depends on the person. Like she'd be able to say no if some guy from N*Sync wanted a shag I'm sure. Anyway.

"Thanks Kals." LC sat down by Red & looked over her shoulder at the headlines.

"Get rooted. I hate when people look over my shoulder." Red grumbled as LC inched away. Kali walked over to the table holding three plates and set them down in front of Liam, Jess and LC, went back into the kitchen, came back with assorted glasses of orange juice and other strangely typical breakfast drinks, went back into the kitchen, came back with the silverware, and sat down on the opposite side of Liam.

"Wow Kals, this is really good. Of course you're making me say this, and you don't even know if I like pancakes or not, but hell." Jess said, stuffing her face with the...stuff.

"Thanks!" Kali said, beaming. "Oh, shit...I forgot summat.."

"Wots that, Kals?" LC asked, looking away from the back of Red's paper.

"I forgot to make MYSELF bloody pancakes!" she shrieked, looking as though she was about to cry. "Aww, luv, don't worry, please don't cry, here you can have some of mine" Liam offered. "Oh thanks honey thats sweet of you" Kali said, taking over his fork & eating half the plate.

LC sat with a glazed over look on her face. "How sweet. Calling each other luv and honey. Can I be the maid of honour?" she asked. Kali sat bold upright and gave LC a death look. "Wot? Wot did I say?" LC asked, innocently. "Talk later." Kali replied as she fed Liam bits of pancake. Just then, Molko stumbled down the stairs.

"Hey everyone. Pure morning, LC" he said, walking over and laying one on LC's cheek. LC backed away. "Wot? Anyway, you know what? This morning, I woke up, and Steve was on the couch with me, naked. I mean what the hell is that all about? I pushed him off & he was still sleeping. Do you think he sleepwalks? Im concerned." Molko said. LC breathed a sign of relief while Red contemplated how to laugh and not look guilty at the same time. Luckily she had her nice big newspaper to hide behind.

"Hello." Stef said, padding across the floor to search the cabinets. Steve came down wrapped in a towel he found in the outskirts of Jess's clothespile. Jess was at first offended and pissed that he touched the clothespile, but then didn't mind, seeing as it was Steve and all.

"Oh good god" Kali shouted at the sight of Steve, falling off her chair. Steve looked hurt.

"Anyone got some clothes? please?" he asked, quietly. Red escorted him off into the living room and came back a few moments later with Steve decked out in bells and sarong type stuff.

"Bloody hell" Kali said, climbing back onto her chair with the assistance of Liam. Steve sat down behind the counter and drank a cup of coffee quietly. (LC's bit)

LC leaned towards Molko and began to whisper. "So you're sure nothing happened?"

"Of course I'm sure!" He exploded. "Good god woman, he's my best mate."

Steve dingled and dangled towards the fridge. "These bells are pissing me off."

"Yeah well," said Red. "They're good for your vibes and they calls the gods- so leave them be."

The phone rang. Kali, who was in the kitchen doing all sorts of housewife things, picked up the phone. "Hello?....Er, are you *sure* you're after Jess?.... Really?....ok, hang on." Kali shoved the phone at Jessy and said "There's some really REALLY sleazy sounding dude on the phone. Be careful." Kali shuddered and went to the comfort of her Liam.

Jess nodded. "Mmm-hmm.... yeah... oh ok.... mmmm.... right..... yeah..... yep..... oh of course..... ok.....ok..... ok bye."

"Who was that?" Red asked the moment Jess hung up. Kali hid away at the answer, waiting for some stalker to be revealed. LC looked hopefully at the police station just incase it came to that.

Jess shrugged. "It was just our manager."

Kali's eyes boggled. "What?!? He's in charge of *us*? Oh my God. Well, what did he have to say?"

"He likes the CD. That's all." Jess sat down and contemplated. "Hey, remember in the first bit of the story, before it got deleted, I used to have a blow up Thom doll?"

Everyone nodded. They waited for an answer. Jess stared out the window which was boarded up to prevent Red's hash stash being seen by the police.

"Well?" LC asked. "What abt it?"

"Oh nothing." Jess shrugged. "I just thought it was funny, that's all."

LC attempted to go along with it and smiled. As she did so, a very messy looking Gaby staggered in followed by Rob.

"Hey Rob! My man!" Red said, getting all football-ish and yobby.

"Ow Red." Gaby said. "I have a headache. Please."

Rob patted Gaby's shoulder. "She's still hungover, and scared."

"Of what?" Kali asked.

"Of her grandmother returning. We have to keep and eye on her. We have to protect her." He told them.

LC stood up and tried to look territorial. "Oi! What's all this 'we' stuff? Huh? Since when have you moved in? If I'm to be certain, the only ppl who live here are me, Kali, Red, Jess and Gaby. You don't just invite yourself here- you *get* invited. OK? And as far as I'm concerned-"

"He stays." Gabs stated. "For a little bit anyway."

LC nodded sadly, giving in to the all powerful Gaby, as she has so much over little LC who isn't that little. South American temper and a yobby boyfriend can go far these days.

"Whoooooooo wants to go to a football match?!?!?!" Rob exploded.

LCers jumped up and down and went beserk. "Me, oh me! Oh please me! I wanna go! Take me! I wanna see a game!"

Molko sloped off upstairs and let LC be embarassing by herself.

***

"I've seen better legs on a chicken, mate!" LC screamed. "You call that enthusiasm? I call it *crap*!!!"

Kali hung her head in shame. She cringed as the abuse flowed from LC.

"If you don't get a fucking move on- I'm gonna have to go down there and deal with you MYSELF!!!"

Rob grabbed LC. "LC, leave the poor guy alone, he's just trying to find his seat. Besides, the game doesn't start for another 10mins."

LC pouted. "Yeah well.... I was just warming up. God."

The group huddled together at Highbury Stadium. Or is it Highfield Road? Or is it Wembly? One of the main ones that Arsenal play at. The group consisted of everyone minus Molko and Stef as football really 'wasn't their thing'.

Red got bored pretty quickly and began leading some kind of war cry. "Up yer Arsenal! That's how they want it! Up yer Arsenal! That's how they want it!"

"Bloody Gunners supporters." LC spat as a dude in a Petit shirt walked past. "Makes me sick. Where are my Man Utd mates?"

Rob pointed to the other side of the stadium. LC exploded. "WHAT???? You mean you're a RICH AS FUCK pop star who can only afford to get us seats in the BACK ROW of the ARSENAL section???? AGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!" She dove into the mob of angry fans that Red had accumulated with the war cry, and pulled her out.

"Um excuse me." Red began. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Helping."

"And what if I like it in there?" Red questioned her and dove back into the Gunners creeps. LC gave up. She sat back and listened to Rob explain the mechanics of football to Gaby and Jess, while Kali and Liam snogged. LC shoved Kali.

"Wot?" She said as she climBed off Liam.

LC shrugged. "Who would've thought? I mean, shagging a welsh boy- that's gotta be risky, you don't know where he's been."

"Oh well, who says we're shagging?" Kali defended herself.

LC began to reply but she cut her off. "I mean, *where* in the story has it actually said that we shagged? I mean, actual shagging? See? Exactly. Unless I missed a bit- anyway, leave me alone, the game's gonna start."

(Red's bit) And then the game started. The Manc dude with the ball kicked it towards the other Manc dude, who passed it straight to Petit, who's an Arse dude. This angered LC, who was still trying to 'rescue' Red.

"Oi you fickin mother fuckin arse bandit!!! Give us the ball back or I'll cut your grandads balls off!!!"

Suddenly, 2000 pissed off Arse bandits (Arsenal supporters) turned to LC, and then dove. The picture: 200 people madly trying to dismember one small female. Luckily, Red pulled her out.

"You're a dumb fucker." Said Red.

LC was rather bruised, but had not learnt her lesson. "Fuck you all!! I'm going to send my boyfriend after you!!" screamed LC, then she realised that her boyf was bi, and the Arsenal fans all probably had a nude pic of him up on thier walls anyway. Upon realising this, she made a quick retreat. Under Red's sarong.

LC watched the rest of the game from under the seats, in fear of the Arsenal suporters coming after revenge (that could hurt). The game was fairly shit. Arsenal won, cos Beckham (is he even in manchester?) (yes Red -LC) kicked an own goal. Twice.

"Well, that was a top game" remarked Rob.

"You're a dickhead and you're pissing me off" said Kali.

"Yeah, you're giving me the shits" said Red. "You just haven't been the same since you left Take That, and now Gary Barlow has more drug credit than you, and quite frankly, that's pathetic" she continued.

"Hey! That Gary Barlow dickhead does not have more credit than i do! He thinks that just because he was my lover that he can do every thing better than me." Said Robbie.

"Pardon? did you say that you were Gary Barlow's lover?" asked an astonished LC.

"Ah, well, um, No. i did not. it was a slip of the tongue."