Subject: sudden realisations can be beauti...
From: convictdconfliktd@locality.com
But first, I have to tell you about Tom. Tom is the sweetest guy I've ever known. He goes to my school, so we hang out sometimes. For a while, he'd been calling me eery night, and we'd stay on the phone for 2-3 hours just talking about anything. He always seemed to get where I was coming from - and if I was ever complaining about something all he would say is "smile. just smile.".
We ended up having a lot of really weird things in common. Things would happen to both of us at the same time, making me feel like we had some kind of outer-worldly connection or something. But th en he started going out with this girl...and the middle of the night phone calls stopped.
We didn't talk to each other unless she wasn't around. He'd visit me in lunch and say nice things like "you look good today" and play with my hair, but all I kept thinking was "he has a girlfriend, why doesn't he lay off??"
His actions, coupled with my inability to deal with friendship issues from the past, plus my complete dislike for a girl who wanted to go back to being 'best friends', drove me to near insanity. It's all I thought about when I wasn't busy with work or school, and even then it was always in the back of my mind, haunting me. The feeling it gave me to feel his hands gently tousling my hair - and the feeling I had in my stomach when I saw him kissing his girlfriend.
Today in seventh period study hall, instead of sitting at an old desk and tumbling my thoughts around in my head for forty-five minutes w/ no real resolution, I read a book. Not one that I was assigned to read for English class or anything. Just a book I had. And at the end of that forty five minutes I realisedt hat I had truly abandoned everything. If only for one class period. I had lived someone else's life, made someone else's decisions, and had someone else's thoughts. I lifted my head up, checking the time, and relief flooded over me. I didn't care about my friendshop problems, I didn't care about Tom's girlfriend - I didn't care about anything anchored in real life. And then a thought struck me.
"What's the point of reality if it's so easy to escape?"