jess's answers

1. if you could be a musical instrument, what would you be?1. if you could be a musical instrument, what would you be?

a trumpet. not so cool, but loud and independent

2. what's your fave material as far as underwear goes?

cotton, possibly silk or satin. definitely not lace.

3. how many children do you plan on having?

dunno

4. when did you last have yer period?

june 14

5. what type of pads do you use?

i use tampons

6. which member of Blur do you find the most attractive?

graham, alex, damon, dave in that order. don't you think jude law looks like damon albarn?

7. what coloured lip gloss/ eyeliner do you own?

none whatsoever.

8. what does the word "cream" mean to you (for Red particularly)?

ungawa ungawa ungawa ungawa ungawa ungawa ungaw-wa-wa xxx.

9. would you ever go somewhere to track down a lad/chick that didnt write?? (bastards!)

didn't write me letters? probably not because i've got no money.

10. in ten words or less, describe how you feel about pvc pants.

ew they are made of plastic and are tight they ....[ran out of words]

11. Type the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word

"handcuffs". black

12. Do you enjoy The Bill? Do you even get The Bill?

i don't even get the bill. i don't think i'd like it because i don't like it when law enforcement shows get too soap opera-y

13. How dyou feel about glitter?

depends what colour, who it's on and where it is.

14. Whats the best thing about being Australian/Venezuelan/Canadian/American/English?

our women's hockey team cleans up and so do our curling teams.

15. What type of knickers do you prefer to wear? If any at all? (bikini, >thong, etc.)

i used to wear this cut called 'hipster' [how silly] but they discontinued them. now i'm trying 'bikini' which i actually don't mind because they don't get stringy on the sides like the bikini underwear you're all thinking of.

16. What's your favourite colour of nail varnish?

black

17. How dyou feel about Tori Amos? Or, for Kali's sake, the Dandy Warhols?

i've never heard the dandy warhols before. they don't get played up here. funny that.

18. Name any Ewan McGregor movie you've seen where he doesn't run around naked.

star wars episode I. it just wouldn't be fitting to watch young obi wan running around in the nude.

19. Kelly Jones or Courtney Taylor (LC, taylor) from the Dandy's?

neither. they've both got dicks

20. Crispian Mills or the singer form Lo-Tel (or in everyone elses case apart from LC;....um.... Jonny Greenwood)?

jonny, but crispian is a close second. [he does seem to need a bit of an attitude adjustment though, i suppose that's what happens when you grow up with a famous grandfather...]

21. Name the song that best describes you.

i refuse to take part in this ally mcbeal initiated theme song finding.

22. Name the band that is the most like you.

a cross between radiohead, rem, the murmurs and chan marshall. not that i think i'm in the same league as any of these people.

23. Name the TV show that is most like you.

the wedge.

24. Name the country that is most like you.

canada because that's where i am and the culture that i'm used to.

25. If you could name your child after a song, what would it be?

knees up mother brown.

The Take That section:

1. Which Take That member has Red met who was wearing more make up than her and looked like he really didn't need the box of chocolates she gave him?

uh...the guy that's supposed to be the hottest...mark? 2. Which TT song does the following lyrics come from and who sang it? 'If you get a flu attack/for 30 days you're on your back/ doing not a single dance'

uh...puke my guts out, sung by robbie williams?

3. Who's the girliest member in Take That? (limit of 1000 words please)

uh...gary barlow?

The trivia section:

Trivia question 1: In the first story, what did Red buy as an x-mas tree substitute for the holidays? (bonus points if you can explain what Kali & LC were hiding as and who they were hiding from.)

how should i know that?

Trivia question 2: In the 2nd story, what is Miss Julia's occupation? (aside from Canadian nutcase)

i think she's a photographer like jill furmanovsky. how unimaginative, guys.

And finally:

What the fook does "GB" really stand for?

guestbook, you wank!