The Initiated - 50 "Cataclysm"

cat*a*clysm (noun)

3 : a momentous and violent event marked by overwhelming upheaval and demolition; broadly : an event that brings great changes

Mr. Webster couldn't have defined this situation better.

Nothing reminds us more of the end than the big crash of the cymbals at the conclusion of the opera, or the "grand finale" fireworks explosion, or the sudden big bang that will supposedly finsh the world someday.

But then again, there are others that believe the end will come, slowly and quietly, with everyone knowing it's there, but no notice taken at all until it's finally done.

Yet Chris Jericho knew that this situation had no other ending than that of tumult. So did Joanie Lee Laurer, who sat looking at him expectantly as he entered the almost-empty bar that evening. CJ didn't expect Joanie to make the situation any easier, no matter what she said before.

"Have a seat," she said, smiling, patting the chair beside her.

"I'd almost forgotten about you," he said, not yet looking her in the face.

"I'm glad you didn't," returned Joanie, almost sounding sincere. No chance he would believe her, though. Not at all. "Look Chris, I know you think I'm full of it, but I really honestly am sorry for all that I've put you through."

"Well, you're right," he said, looking straight ahead at the long row of bottles and taps instead of Joanie. "I do think you're full of it."

His coldness didn't do much to repel her. Joanie was a persistent woman. "Well, no matter what you may think of me now, I just needed you to know that I am sincere about what I say. Just so you know it, Chris. It's your choice as to forgive me or not, but..." Her words trailed off into nothingness. He still stared ahead, wondering what her next move would be.

Joanie placed her hand on his. Despite his cold nature and words, his flesh was still warm, and it warmed even more at her touch. Still, she didn't know if it was anger or something else, so she continued. "I know it's crazy, Chris, but I still have feelings for you."

No response, but Joanie continued to rub his hand. Finally, suddenly, Our Hero's fist clenched and he turned to her, open-mouthed and ready to speak. Joanie anticipated it and blocked him off. "Now...now I know you're angry at me, you have every right to be...but like I said I just needed to tell you these things...if only for my sake, Chris...and God, I do still have feelings for you."

He was silenced then, but not for long. After a moment of icing down Joanie with his steely blue stare, CJ spoke firmly and angrily. "You have one hell of a nerve, Joanie. I mean one hell of a nerve to say that to me."

"Chris..."

"No," he said, still firm. His fist was still clenched tight underneath her hand. "Now you listen to me. I know Paul put you up to this. He sent you here to make me weak. Don't deny that." He shook his head and sighed. "God, the least you could do is not LIE to me. You've played with my emotions enough, and don't expect me to be stupid enough to fall for it again. I'm stronger now."

The tears sprang to her eyes then, right on cue. Joanie's lip quivered and she fought for words. "Chris...oh, God, Chris..." She paused to sniffle. "Can't you see I don't care what Paul says anymore? I don't care, Chris. I..."

"Bullshit," he said, low and still firm. He pulled his hand out from under hers and pushed away from the bar, preparing to leave. She watched him, tears rolling down her eyes. Some act, CJ thought as he looked at her one last time. "Bullshit."

Then he was gone. Joanie watched him leave, same as she'd watched him come in. This time her vision was blurred by tears. Tears that were indeed sincere. The irony of the situation was that Joanie could have never explained to Chris how sincere she was at this moment, no matter how hard she tried.

God forbid she'd ever try to explain such sincerity to Her Paul.

Shane McMahon knew where his sister was going the minute she'd left the arena that evening. There was no stopping her though, she was going to do what she needed to do. Shane was never one to really interfere in Stephanie's relationships, after all, no matter what the storylines may have told us.

However, Shane was the acest when it came to fucking with the minds of whomever he chose. And Chris Jericho wasn't going to get away scot-free, if Shane could help it. The heir apparent sat there with the telephone reciever in hand, still ringing in his ear although he knew there would be no answer from his sister's hotel room.

So it's next Tuesday night then, after the crowds have left, he thought. Sooner the better.

Shane hung up the reciever and turned out the light on the nighttable. He could hardly wait to tell both gentlemen tomorrow about the decision he just made.

**************

It wasn't long after CJ left the bar until he was back in the hotel room, holding Stephanie again as she slept. If she had been merely pretending to sleep as he walked in, she hadn't said a word to him about where he'd just been or what was said. Not that it was important, anyway. Chris was certain that he'd told Joanie off for the last time and he could prepare and plan for the match in peace now.

He drifted off with a half-smile on his face, finally content. Cynthia was becoming a distant memory. He'd seen through Joanie's lies and called her on her bluff before she could do any more damage. And most importantly, he had his princess, his Stephanie, here with him now.

And nothing else mattered.

***************

Joanie hadn't sat wallowing in her own self-pity for long. Although her tears hadn't really shown it, she knew beforehand that CJ was going to turn down her apology. But that was okay. She knew what she had to do now, for the best of the situation.

It was fairly late now, but she knew he'd still be awake. Joanie checked her appearance in a hallway mirror, dabbed at her eyes and continued on to his room.

She knocked twice, hoping he was alone. In seconds, Shane answered the door.

"Joanie," he said, more of a statement than a question. "What...?"

Her voice was still shaky, yet she interrupted him. "Shane...it can't go on."

Instantly he knew what she meant. "How did you find out?"

"What the fuck does it matter how I found out, Shane? What matters is it can't go on, do you hear?"

"You're too late, Joanie. You and Paul started this and now it's going to end." Shane shook his head, enjoying the moment.

"Shane, someone's gonna get hurt. I mean bad. I can feel it."

"Please. Where were you when I was putting my own ass on the line against Paul?"

"It's different now, Shane," Joanie protested, a fresh wave of tears coming on. "Shane, Paul isn't gonna stop until Chris is hurt...hurt badly."

Shane smiled a little. "And maybe I don't want him to stop. Maybe I want to see him get hurt a little."

Joanie stood there for a second, shocked. "I can't believe you...you sick bastard...Shane, it's wrong to do this! They hate each other! What are you gonna do if someone doesn't come out of this alive?"

"Don't be so fucking melodramatic. You and I both know Paul isn't that stupid. Besides that, when did you start caring about what happened to Chris?"

"Look, what I did was wrong. I know that now. But Paul...Paul doesn't know that...he still wants to hurt him. He wants to see this guy's career end, Shane!"

"Then let Chris worry about that." Shane stepped back a little into the darkness of his room. "Good night, Joanie."

Joanie tried to continue through her tears. "Shane, no...Shane...please...Shane, please!"

With that, he closed the door on her, leaving her alone there in the hallway. Joanie leaned against the wall, sobbing. After a moment, her frustration and hurt led to anger, and she swore and kicked at the wall before storming off to her own room in defeat.

The minute CJ parked his car outside of Titan Tower on Thursday morning, he saw Paul already entering the building with Shane McMahon and knew that there'd be trouble. Sure, Shane had called Chris into a meeting, but no one said Paul would be anywhere near the office at the time. Yet Our Hero continued on. Why should he start being afraid of Paul *now*?

As he entered the building, Chris tried to remember exactly what Shane said during their brief conversation the previous morning. Shane arranged to "run into" CJ at the airport, where he'd told him that he wanted to meet with him as soon as possible concerning "the match." That was all it was referred to as now. Chris agreed then, but right now he wasn't as confident as yesterday. As he found his way down to the New Media offices, he wondered how Shane planned to keep this meeting civil.

Shane's mousy receptionist that had before been so reluctant to let CJ into the inner sanctum was now very polite, almost urging Chris into the room with a smile. He tried to think back to where he'd nearly barged into Shane's office, confronting him about Joanie and Paul. That seemed decades ago, although it'd hardly been a few weeks.

As Our Hero was ushered into Shane's office, he saw Paul sitting there across from the boss. His suspicions were correct. Shane, who sat behind the mahogany desk as usual, smiled over at Chris. "Come on in," Shane said, motioning toward the empty seat beside Paul. CJ approached and was greeted by a cold stare from Paul. No hint of kindness or cordiality. Not that CJ expected any.

"So what is it about, Shane?" Paul said this as Chris slumped into his seat. Shane looked at both men with the same shit-eating grin, and spoke.

"Tuesday. After the tapings."

Chris's insides lurched a little at hearing the exact day. It was almost as if Shane had set an execution date. Still, he said nothing, even though it was little time to mentally and physically prepare. Paul, however, was quick to speak.

"Why so soon?"

"Don't question my reasons," snapped Shane, all of a sudden. "I'm pissed enough as it is with you, Paul. Where the hell do you get off getting Joanie all worked up and sending her to me?"

"I didn't," protested Paul, seemingly confused. "I don't even know what you're talking about."

"Then let me say you need to talk to her. She's awfully upset with this fight now and suddenly worried about *your* condition." He nodded towards CJ then.

"It's all a load of shit," Chris answered. "It's a ruse, Shane, I'm surprised you haven't seen through it yet."

Paul hadn't said anything, just continuing to stare blankly at Shane, who looked at Chris now.

"Don't think I don't know what you're doing behind my back either. I do."

Chris froze then. "You know...?"

Paul came back to life then. "I wouldn't play stupid now. He's got you by the balls."

"Stay out of this," demanded Shane to Paul. "You already told me what I need to know." Then he went back to Chris. "Until this is over, you stay away from my sister. I don't want you near her, got that? Don't think I haven't told her the same thing."

Shane's words became a windy blur to CJ then. Stay away from my sister...it was the last thing he heard. Shane continued.

"And if I even hear about you two meeting up for whatever until then, you're out of here regardless."

Chris searched for words through his confusion. He felt everything inside him begin to shut down. Shane knew...but how? Paul? When did he see? What did he see? He tripped over his words, the only ones he could think of:

"Wh-what...if I win?"

Shane was quiet, which as we know was not a good sign. Paul looked down and away.

CJ's mind restored a little. "Never mind," he said softly, then stood up to leave.

"I'm not finished here," Shane said roughly as CJ walked to the door. Our Hero turned back to look at Shane as he opened the door.

"I am."

So what if he walked out? What was Shane gonna do, fire him when he'd already threatened to do so? CJ closed the door behind him, nodded at the nervous little mouse of a receptionist, and walked out into the hallway, finding that old confidence again. It was put on hold as he saw her...as he saw Stephanie there waiting on the elevator.

"Steph..." he started, then turned to see if anyone else was watching. It didn't matter if they were anyway, he was going to talk to her regardless.

She hadn't noticed he was there. Or maybe she was ignoring him. He neared her as the elevator doors opened. She gave one glance at him and stepped in, quickly pushing the "close" button. CJ blocked the shutting doors with his arm and stepped in. Stephanie looked away, and CJ saw tears in her eyes.

"Talk to me," he whispered, even though they were alone. "Please."

"I can't," she whispered back. Chris reached over and stroked at her hair, then pulling her to him. She lay her head on his shoulder, trying to hide her tears.

"I love you," he said then, boldly. "Just remember that...even if I..." He couldn't bring himself to say the possibility.

The elevator's quiet little ding brought them back to reality. Stephanie pulled away and nearly ran out of the elevator, wiping at her eyes and looking to see if anyone saw her. Chris waited a second, then left the elevator. He saw Stephanie to his right, who was looking back again at him. As he was exiting the building, he noticed her lips moving but no sound.

Still, he knew exactly what she'd said. And he knew she meant it.

*********

"What the fuck are you thinking?" Paul almost shouted this at Joanie, who sat with her back to him, staring at nothing. She continued to say nothing, just as she had done when he'd started interrogating her minutes before.

"Joanie," he said, exasperated, "I don't ask for much from you. I just ask for your cooperation and that's all I expect. I DON'T need you slipping, especially not now."

No answer. Paul leaned over the back of her chair. "Fucking Tuesday, Joanie. Tuesday...the LEAST you can do is help me out a little."

"I told you already that it's wrong."

Paul heaved a large sigh. "Fuck," he groaned. "I don't want to have to go through this again, Jo..."

"Then don't," she said, a little louder. "Just go fucking fight him fair and stop acting like I'm your damned crutch."

"You're NOT, damn it! I just need your help in this."

"Why?" Joanie was standing now, facing him. "Why do you need my help? He wouldn't fucking believe me now anyway, I told you that already!"

Paul backed down a little. "I...just don't think you really tried."

Joanie looked at him increduously. "You don't...you don't think I fucking TRIED? Here I go and give you all my time and trouble and you don't think I tried?"

"It would have worked if you hadn't started 'feeling bad'," Paul said, still angered at the fact, and maybe a little jealous as well.

"I told you that I think it's wrong. And it is, Paul, why can't you see that? Why can't you...just go fight him fair?" Joanie felt the anger in her rise again. "Just fight him fair and quit acting like such a fucking...fucking pussy!"

Her words barely left her mouth when he'd hit her for the first time ever. Paul hardly felt his hand across her face or heard the slap, yet she'd taken it with shock and surprise, which dulled the pain. He stood there after it was done, almost as shocked as she was. Still, he managed to speak.

"Don't...don't ever call me that again."

She looked at him now, either anger or hatred glinting in her eyes. Then she turned to leave.

"Joanie," he said, pleading all of a sudden. "Jo, please wait..."

It didn't take her long to turn back with a calm "fuck you" and make her way out of their bedroom.

It also didn't take Joanie long to figure where she'd go from here.

************

Chris sat alone in his home-away-from-home, his Conneticut house that he'd rarely spent any time in yet. As he sat there on the sofa, an open bible in his lap, he'd realized that he hadn't missed much at all.

He sank back a little onto the sofa, sighing profoundly and staring up at the ceiling, thinking of how meaningless this little house really was. No memories, no good times, nothing, he thought. But here it is. God's little acre. To the north of the rock and a little south of a hard place...

Thinking back, CJ remembered the only really exciting thing that ever happened here, if you could even call it "exciting"...his quick tryst with Joanie that would ultimately end in disaster. Strangely enough, although it seemed so long ago, CJ could remember everything from that evening...every feeling, every emotion he'd had for Joanie. He even remembered how she felt, how she smelled...yes, he'd really been in love with her. Too bad she couldn't say the same.

His eyes went from the ceiling back down to the bible on his lap. He gazed down at the book, reading but not really reading, there in his living room but about a thousand miles away at the same time. He thought about Stephanie...what she was doing right now, if she was thinking of him...of course she had to be. He missed her so much now. If only he could just call her...

The ring of the doorbell brought CJ out of his daze. He glanced back towards the front door, for a moment thinking it was really her. Was it her? Nah, couldn't be. Shane had forbidden any meeting between the two until the fight was over, after all, and there was no way she'd go against what Shane...

The doorbell rang again, this time twice. Well, whomever it was, they were very urgent. CJ lay the bible down on the sofa and got up to answer the door. Half of him hoped to God it was Stephanie, while the other half feared her being there because of her brother's explicit instructions. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door.

There she stood, with a slight bruise on her face and tears in her eyes. CJ's demeanor showed no sign of surprise, although his heart did go out to her a little for whatever predicament she'd gotten herself into.

"What is it?" He stood a little more inside so she could enter. It was the least he could do, anyway. She did so, gratefully. After she entered, she turned to him.

"He hit me," Joanie said, quietly, her hand going up to the side of her face to point out the bruise.

"I noticed," CJ replied. "Here, let me get you something to put on that."

"No," she said, exhaling slowly. "I'll be fine. I just needed...to talk to you...to anyone, really, but I do need to talk to you, Chris. So badly. If you were just willing to listen to me and stop running away..."

"I'm not running anymore, Joanie. That's the last thing I'd want to do right now." He resumed his place on the sofa while she stood there, looking towards the door as if someone were coming, feeling awkward. Obviously she'd remembered what went on here too.

"Why did he hit you?" He looked at her as her hand went up to the bruise again.

"Because I told him we were wrong...I told him we were both wrong about what we did."

Chris looked thoughtful for a moment. Something was inconsistent here. All along he'd thought she'd been planning to grasp him in again...now here she was with a bruise. Would Paul go that far just to make him believe...?

"So you really think you were wrong, do you?" CJ said this half-sarcastically, proving his sceptisism.

"I know we were wrong now, Chris. Why can't you believe me?"

"I just have a hard time having any other feelings but contempt for people that have tried to run me out of a job."

There was a moment of silence between them, and then Joanie, with a sudden gasp sank down onto the sofa beside him, almost tossing herself onto him with a sob.

"God," she cried, holding onto his arm as he stared at her with a mix of abject pity and disdain, "just listen...just hear me out, Chris...I love you. I love you and I don't want to see you get hurt!"

"Don't," he said, trying not to push her away. "Just don't. It's over, Joanie."

"Fine," she answered with a sob, this time looking him in the eye. "It's over. Just don't, DON'T go through with the match! Something awful is gonna happen, I can feel it!"

CJ was quiet then, turning away while Joanie cried. After a moment, he reached for the bible again. "I think maybe I should tell you about Cyn."

She paused her sobs, noticing the bible on his lap. "Sin...?" she said questioningly, confused.

"My ex-girlfriend, Cynthia." He flipped open the bible absentmindedly, turning the pages, still not looking at Joanie. "Right before I signed with the company, she told me not to leave Atlanta. She said she could just feel something awful around the corner that was going to happen to me, and so she told me to stay where I was. But I didn't listen." Now he looked over at her, as she clung to his arm. "Not three weeks later, Cynthia left me high and dry." CJ seemed to be in another world for a second, then he blinked. "She may have been right, but damn if I'll ever trust her again."

With that, he put the bible aside and stood, helping Joanie up. "I'll see you Tuesday."

Joanie stared at him momentarily, still confused, then spoke. "Where...will I go?"

"Home. To Paul," he said, walking towards the door. "I know you didn't come here tonight just to replace him with me, Joanie. You love Paul, don't you? That's where you belong."

"But he hit me...I...can't..." Her hand went up to the bruise again, and once again she glanced toward the door.

"Something tells me you're a lot stronger than you think," Chris said as he held the door for her. "God knows it took a lot of strength for you to admit you were wrong."

She walked towards the door. "So...so you believe me? You believe me when I say that I was wrong...and I'm sorry?"

CJ shook his head. "No," he said quietly. "I don't. Not completely, at least. I still think you and Paul are two peas in a pod, two liars, two people that are incredibly jealous of other people's stature. But there's always time to change, I guess."

"But you will believe me...?" Joanie looked at him desperately.

"Maybe," he said, now that she was outside. "But Joanie..." CJ stopped and smiled a little, breathing in and continuing. "There's no way I'll ever trust you again."

With that, he closed the door gently.

And then the morning came.

The morning...the morning came around and CJ woke up alone, really wishing that he wasn't by himself. He needed someone to talk to, to listen...he needed someone to talk him out of doing this crazy deed.

As Our Hero glanced at the clock beside his bed, he wondered about Joanie. He hadn't seen her since last week, and she'd left him in such dire straits. Now he was beginning to feel that same guilt she must have felt. Even having Joanie here to talk to would mean at least something, even if it was just her and not Stephanie.

Stephanie. She hadn't left CJ's thoughts at all since Shane forbade the two to see each other until the fight was over. Now, as CJ lay there in the darkened room, he realized Shane was right. Had Stephanie been around, surely she would have talked him out of the fight by now.

Tonight he'd see her. Tonight after all was the deciding factor; after it was said and done, there was a very real possibility he'd be unemployed. He didn't worry about that though, strangely enough. The thought that Paul could actually win this didn't really hit CJ yet. He doubted anything would be real until it was all over, anyway.

Meanwhile, although they were only a few floors away from one another, Stephanie felt that she was worlds apart from her lover. She needed him, to hold him, to tell him what she needed to tell him, to promise him that no matter what, she'd always love him.

"Damn you, Joanie," she whispered to herself, perched upon her bed and tearfully gazing out of the window. "Damn you for putting him through it. Damn you all." And she meant it. If it weren't for Joanie, they could be happy. There would be no trouble at all.

Then again, she thought, If it weren't for Joanie I might have never ended up with him.

Stephanie pushed that thought out of her mind. The contempt she felt for Joanie and Her Paul right now wouldn't allow her to even ponder anything positive that the two could have done, however accidental it may have been.

As she tried in vain to focus her thoughts on something, anything, other than CJ, there was a knock at her door. Quickly, Stephanie scrambled up to answer it, hoping against hope that...

No such luck. It was Mr. Copeland. Damn.

"G'morning," he said, brightly, smiling down at Stephanie, ignoring her scowl. "Geez...did you get any sleep last night?"

"No," she murmured. "And you wouldn't have either, if you were in my place."

"Understood," he said, following her into the room. "I got your message."

"I'm glad," she said. "I need you."

Adam perked up, then raced with maniacal joy to the bed, which he grandly bounced himself upon. "You don't know...how long...I've waited to hear you say that!"

Stephanie turned a blind eye to Adam's theatrics, sitting away from him on the other side of the bed with her back to him . "I need you to deliver a message to Chris for me," she said, no tone in her voice.

"So I guess cheering you up is out of the question?"

She didn't answer, instead picking up an envelope from the desk across her, then handing it to him. Now she was looking at him as he looked bewilderedly at the envelope. "I need you to promise me that he'll get this, Adam."

"What is it?"

"Promise me."

He nodded. "Okay...okay, okay. He'll get it. I promise." Stephanie turned away again, prompting him to speak. "What is this, Steph?"

"It's just something I needed to tell him before he goes out there tonight." She smiled slightly, still not looking at anything in particular.

"Awwwwww," moaned Adam, now understanding and reaching across the bed to put his arms around Stephanie, who leaned forward but not quick enough to escape his hug. "Thasssosweeeeeeet..."

"Would you just go give it to him already?" Stephanie struggled to break free of the embrace with no luck.

"Not until you smile," persisted Adam, squeezing tighter.

"Just go," she said, almost shouting, trying not to laugh.

"SMILE!"

"Damn you," she said, laughing. "You're a freak." He broke the embrace finally and took up the envelope. "Of course," he answered, "but I get the job done."

"Whatever," said Stephanie, waving him off. "Now go."

"I will, I will," he answered, then hesitating. "But what about Andrew?"

"What about him?" She folded her arms and resumed looking back out at the window.

"You know...what...about him?" Adam was attempting to pry a little information out of her for gossip's sake, but knew he problably wouldn't get any good dirt today.

"Andrew and I are friends," she continued in that monotone.

"Yeah, but...I was under the assumption that you were more than friends."

Stephanie turned to him, then smiled. "Business before pleasure, Adam. You of all people should know that."

"Oh, I do," he said, bobbing his head, knowing his place and walking off. "I know it too well."

"Good," answered Stephanie, still smiling. "Close the door behind you."

************************

Adam Copeland walked out into the hallway, clutching the envelope Stephanie had given him. Of course, usually Adam was a non-disruptive guy. He'd go his own way and do what he was told for the better of all man and nature, sure, but today...

Today he just had to get that gossip. He had to know. And would Jay ever be surprised to find out that he'd gotten some dirt on Stephanie and CJ before anyone else did! And here he was, holding that envelope like a damned fool and risking never knowing. The bloody thing wasn't even sealed! Maybe...maybe she'd meant for him to read it, who knows? Oh, for Christ's sake...what would it hurt peeking? She'd never know...

I can't, he thought. It'd be wrong.

But what if it had something pertinent to his knowing? What if it was something that had to do with the company? Well, for sure he'd have to see it then. After all, if it dealt with the company it most certainly involved him, didn't it?

His curiosity getting the best of him, Adam finally stopped around the corner and, glancing around him to see if anyone was coming, carefully opened the envelope and shook the note out.

Unfolding it, he stood there and read for a moment, then glanced around him again when he could have sworn he heard footsteps. He continued reading for a few moments more, and then sighed with a smile. Cautious to stay out of sight, Adam then folded the note carefully back into the envelope and next, with quiet movements, ripped the message to shreds.

Adam took one last look around him and discarded the ripped pieces of Stephanie's message into a trash bin in the next hallway, then walked off whistling as if nothing ever happened.

Stephanie watched them all as they left the arena, one by one, car by car. She couldn't stay to herself back there in the back, she'd go crazy with the wait alone. So she stayed in the front and watched everyone leave until the arena was quiet. No echoing shouts or loud laughter, just that odd and frightening little space of quiet now that there were few people here.

She wasn't even supposed to be here tonight, yet here she was, stationed in the cheap seats where no one could see her; where no one would think to even look. As far as Shane knew, she was back at the hotel, having gotten a ride home with Mom and Dad. Stephanie was two steps ahead of big brother tonight though. She'd not lied to her parents, indeed, she was almost too honest with them. Stephanie thought back to an hour ago when she'd informed her father that she'd be "staying with Shane for a little while to cover some ground." Vague, yes. But not a lie.

The silence was starting to get to her. Stephanie strained a little to listen, to hear any word from backstage, any shout, any call. Nothing. She slightly smiled as she wondered if the whole thing had been called off, if Shane had called a truce between the two and just invited them out for beers. And here she was, sitting here in the refrigerator section, waiting on something that may possibly never happen.

I couldn't be that lucky, she thought, dismissing the scenario of CJ and Paul ever becoming that friendly, or Shane ever letting them.

********************************

Paul thought Joanie had left. He hadn't seen her since the Tuesday tapings ended, nor was he very worried. There wasn't much she could do now, anyway, since she'd refused to help him before. It didn't matter now. What mattered was that she was back. And she'd forgiven him. He remembered the night last week that she came wandering back from wherever it was she'd went, in tears, begging for him to forgive her for running off.

And now she was done with the matter. Since then, Paul hadn't requested her help, and he certainly didn't expect it now. But it was all right. He'd had other ways of getting the job done.

"Hey Sean?" Paul glanced behind his shoulder as he continued taping his wrists. Waltman was there, holding the bottle in his hands as if it were golden.

"I got it." He flipped the top open and examined the water inside.

"Much obliged," Paul said quietly as he fished around in his gym bag, his back still turned to his comrade.

"Do you have the stuff?" Sean walked over and peered over Paul's shoulder. Quickly, Paul shrugged him off.

"Quit, damn it. You're acting like I'm not nervous enough as it is." He glared over at Waltman, who fended him off.

"I know, I know. I was just asking."

"I've got it. I've come too far than to fuck anything up now." With that, Paul pulled out the small vial of clear liquid sedative and winked back at his buddy. "Still got any stupid questions?"

The two laughed off their anxieties as Paul handed the vial over to Sean, who emptied it into the water, sealed the bottle shut, gave it a good shake, and lay it by the door. "I'll be right back, I gotta get rid of this," he said, tossing the vial around in his hands and exiting the dressing room. As Sean left, he almost ran into Joanie, who came walking into the room as he was walking out.

"Hey," he said, surprised. "We were looking for you..." He stopped talking when he noticed that she barely noted he was there, let alone speaking. Sean shrugged and took off with the vial hidden in his jacket pocket.

"I couldn't leave," she said quietly, to Paul's turned back. When she spoke, he'd realized she was there. He faced her then, staring at her as she barely looked at him. Joanie was there but a million miles off, completely detached from the situation at hand yet somehow drawn to it.

"Are you okay?" He looked at her questioningly. If he didn't know any better, he'd say she'd almost looked asleep.

"I'm fine," she whispered, moving her way through a cloud towards him. As Joanie neared him, her arms began reaching for him and her voice began to break. "I...I'm so sorry, Paul..."

He took her then, holding her as she turned into a whimpering child right in front of his eyes. "Hey," he whispered. "It's all right. You're all right. Come on..."

"No, it's not all right..."

"You just need rest. Why don't you go back to the hotel? I promise when this is over, we'll get back to our lives. Promise."

She shook her head. "I can't leave, Paul...I just...I just feel so bad. I feel like I've betrayed you...and...and just everybody..."

He was quiet then, thinking, then he spoke with a smile. "You can still prove to me that you're on my side, kid."

She looked up at him, her lip quivering. "How?"

Paul motioned towards the bottle, resting on the table beside the door. "Go take that to Chrissy-boy."

Joanie's head turned and saw the bottle, then back to Paul. "It's..." She fought for the words in vain.

He shushed her with his finger, then pointed to the bottle again. "Take it to him, baby."

She looked away for a second, back out into that cloud or back into that space, then nodded. "All right," she whispered, almost resignedly. "All right."

"Good girl." Paul watched her drift back over to the table and pick the bottle up, barely stopping as she wafted out of the room like a ghost.

************************

Our Hero CJ sat meditatively in the locker room, long since emptied of its athletes. He'd prayed for what seemed like forever, and now with all this time on his hands, he didn't know exactly what to say to the Lord anymore without sounding repetitive. As he stared ahead into the mirror, looking at his reflection, he thought of Stephanie. Stephanie. That was all. That was all he could focus on now, and that, he decided, would be who he would focus on when his body would be put through hell very shortly.

"Hey, you..."

Chris jumped a little and whirled around, his heart skipping a beat only to find that it was his friend Adam there, having watched him for God knows how long.

"I'm sorry if I scared you, man, but there's something..."

CJ sighed and dismissed him with a hand. "Adam, if it's cool, I'd just really need some time to myself right now."

"I know, but this is...I mean, I gotta tell you something..."

"Adam, would you please?" CJ's back was turned now, his heart still pounding. Something, somewhere, wasn't right. He could feel it.

His friend stood there watching him, then finally spoke. "Okay." Adam turned to leave, then stopped. "I'm sorry, Chris."

CJ heard him leave, and then put his hand to his chest. His heart was racing, and this usually meant that something bad was going to happen.

God, I can't get nervous. Please, not now. Please, God, he thought, trying to calm himself. Losing it now would mean everything. He attempted a few deep breaths and felt a little more easy.

Adam was almost all the way down the hall when he heard someone behind him. Thinking it was CJ coming after him to apologize, he stopped and looked slightly behind him, only to see something moving in the dim lighting. The something looked a lot like Joanie at the end of the corridor. She looked very confused, yet was glancing behind her to see if anyone was following. Something's not right here, Adam thought, about to open his mouth to speak. As he did, however, Joanie saw him, and a look of panic came over her face.

"Joa..." Adam was stopped by three sharp beeps coming from his hip pocket. Startled, he glanced down at his beeper to find Jay's number there. Idiot, he thought. This is important here! He stopped the series of beeps and looked back up, only to find that Joanie wasn't there anymore.

"What the hell...?" Adam wondered this aloud as his eyes wandered around the hallway to see where she'd gone. After a second or two, he shook his head and left, wondering if she was even really there to begin with.

**********************

It took Joanie mass amounts of courage to get back around that corner. Adam had seen her; who was to say no one else would? She was scared, tired, and angry, having had only two hours of semi-rest in the past 24 hours. Her thoughts were one continuous string of jumbled-up words and fragments. What if...and then...what now?

Yet she moved back around the corner again towards the locker room where CJ was. After this, it would be over. She'd live with the consequences, whatever they were. But this had to end, and it had to end now. Breathing heavily, she took a few steps forward.

I'm so sorry, Chris...

*********************

Stephanie couldn't take the waiting anymore. Instead, she had to at least be back there and see what was going on, if anything. So she gave up her position in the cheap seats and ran back to the backstage area, cautious not to run into anyone that could exert enough authority over her to make her leave.

It was terribly frightening, running through the dark and empty arena halls looking for something, anything, that could tell her what was going to happen to her beloved Chris. She fought off urges to call out to him, instead continuing her run on past the television area, the endless series of rooms and boxes and equipment, then finally stopping cold at the locker room, where she saw Joanie at the other end of the hallway.

Slowly, Stephanie felt every vein in her body fill with hot-blooded contempt. The Joanie Laurer that stood a few feet away from her was not the confused and apologetic Joanie that had evolved in the past few weeks. The Joanie that Stephanie saw was the same vain and unfeeling witch that had threatened with violence any involvement that Stephanie would have in keeping CJ in the way of Paul's push. Now it had come full circle. Stephanie looked her over, noticing the bottle that Joanie had in her hands.

Joanie stared blankly at Stephanie, as if she'd been an apparition instead of an avenging angel. She hardly heard Stephanie hissing at her as she walked with a purpose towards her.

"What in God's name do you think you're doing here?" Stephanie fought to keep her voice controlled, but it became more difficult as she neared Joanie. She stopped when she was in arm's length away from her. "Did you think you were going to find him? What did your sick mind have planned, Joanie?"

No answer, just the same blank stare. Joanie's hands began to tremble, but Stephanie continued, even more angered at the silent treatment. "Get away. Get out of here! I'll call security...anyone...I swear I will!"

With that, Stephanie boldly took all her energies together and shoved Joanie, who put up no resistance whatsoever. She stumbled backwards, then gripped at the wall for support. In her haste, the bottle slipped from her hands and then landed roughly on the floor, the cap flying off of the top and water splashing everywhere. Joanie watched the bottle roll itself to a resting place while water seeped across the floor. She leaned against the wall, taking in the scenario, then looked up at Stephanie then with a slight smile.

"Thank you," she whispered hoarsely, then a little louder. "Thank you so, so much..."

Stephanie watched her quickly drift off, then looked at the puddles of water on the floor, wondering what Joanie meant. Next she heard footsteps coming from the inside of the locker room, and knew immediately who it was. Stephanie turned in the direction from which she just came and ran twice as fast.

*********************

Go the distance.

Whenever we're in one of those situations where there's no other out, that's the answer we give ourselves. To go the distance, to complete the race whether or not we win or lose...that's the attitude in that extra inning, that final round where all the stakes are high, when the home team is behind 20 points and there's three minutes left in the game.

Chris Jericho was determined not to go down without raising hell that evening, and fifteen minutes into the fight, he was battered, bloody, and fighting hard to stay on his feet. They're not gonna get me, he thought. I could lose now but he'd have to kill me first.

Somehow, Paul Levesque may not have had a problem with that. He knew right off that the drug hadn't worked. Either Joanie choked and didn't get it to him, or CJ had one hell of a tolerance for heavy sedatives. So he went the straight way and went without assistance. In the process, he'd taken his fair share of abuse. Yet, like Our Hero, Paul wasn't planning to go down for the count anytime soon.

Both competitors were sweating, bleeding, and fatigued by the seventeenth minute. As they pummeled one another, there in the stands sat Shane McMahon, watching quietly without showing any preference at all. Shane winced at every hard blow delivered, he grimaced whenever someone staggered down to a knee, yet not for one moment did he think that the match itself was a bad idea. It was initiation, and it damn might as well have been a requirement.

Shane was oblivious to all that went on behind him; he didn't know his sister was still there in the arena, watching from her perch in the cheap seats. He didn't know that Adam Copeland was still around either, lurking around in the background, pacing impatiently, praying for his friend to come out of the fight okay and wondering if he'd made the right decision earlier. Shane knew good and well Joanie and the rest of them would be back there, yet they'd not made any sudden appearances. Maybe now they knew better.

Paul's head snapped back and then lolled forward after CJ flung his fist at his face, putting all his anger in each movement. Chris tried not to feel sympathy as he saw a stream of blood trickle from Paul's bobbing head, yet the prospect of any feeling between the two was nill anyway, as Paul returned the punch with a solid fist to the stomach. Chris groaned aloud and felt himself sinking, the wind rushing out of him.

"Fall, bitch. Fall now," muttered Paul through clenched teeth.

Chris looked up at him from his bent position, his eyes flashing. "Fuck you."

"You're gonna die tonight," muttered his opponent again, trying to keep his own footing.

"Fuck you..."

Paul responded with a stiff punch to CJ's left jaw, which sent him reeling. He felt the warm blood fill his mouth and trickle out quickly, then he stepped backward and realized that his balance was almost gone.

"Fall," he heard Paul say, seemingly in slow motion. Did he really say that or was CJ just dreaming it?

No... Chris felt his head grow lighter as he staggered again, then glanced about, up at the ring lights, out in the stands, out at Shane's expressionless face, then up again. That's when he saw her. She was out of her seat, standing, and she was screaming.

How much time had passed? The moments between Paul's last punch and right now seemed like two hours.

Chris reeled back into the ropes, but he didn't see Shane turn to see his sister up there. He didn't see Joanie either, although she was racing towards them. When he finally turned his head, he saw a shock of black hair and then red.

Then he felt, or literally saw, himself fading. The ring lights were hot above him, and he couldn't see Paul. He knew Joanie was here, somewhere, problably very close, and he could still hear Stephanie's screams from overhead. The whole thing was very surreal, very numbing and very painful. Chris heard a thud, very low and plain, and the screams ceased.

Next, he saw Paul at his feet, still and quiet. Oh God, tell me she didn't...do...

He closed his eyes and felt himself fall.

***********************

CJ didn't know how long he was out, but it couldn't have been long. As he awoke, he felt Shane pulling at his arm, trying to tell him in the midst of the confusion that it was over. It was over and "you should be proud."

Right now, Chris didn't feel pride. He couldn't feel anything at all, let alone realize that the fight was over. He let his head roll around to see Paul, who was still lying in that prone position. Joanie was gone. What the hell happened?

In moments he was standing on the floor, somehow walking back on his own power to the locker room while Shane attended to Paul in the ring. Joanie was nowhere to be found. But like the Boy Wonder had said, it was over. And that was what mattered now.

That and Stephanie of course. She'd found her way down to Our Hero, quickly throwing her arms around him and holding him tight, ignoring the sweat and blood on him. His mind slowly pieced itself together again and he realized who she was, then wrapped his aching arms around her and sobbed.

"It's all right," she whispered, stroking his damp hair. "It's all done."

"I love you," he choked. "Steph, I love you..."

Stephanie paused, then felt her own hot tears stinging her eyes. "I love you too, honey. I..." She paused when she heard Shane's call, and broke away from CJ when she saw him coming. Chris turned around to see Shane through swollen eyes. He thought about how bad he looked at the moment, and wondered how Stephanie could even recognize him like this. But yet, that wouldn't matter either when the two of them were at home in Clearwater, recuperating on the sands, now would it?

"We need to talk," he said to the two of them, panting and obviously upset.

"There's nothing to talk about, Shane." Stephanie coldly glanced at him and led CJ away, leaving Shane there huffing and contemplating on how he was going to get Paul to a hospital at this late hour.

******************

"Steph, stop," CJ said as she was still racing away from Shane, leading her love back to the locker room to clean him up. "I gotta know what happened."

She halted then and looked at him. "You mean you don't know?"

"I don't remember much at all. I'm so out of it...still out of it. I heard you scream, and..." His voice trailed off. She glanced around to see if anyone was listening, then she spoke low.

"She tried to stop the fight."

"Joanie?"

"Yes. I thought she was coming in to attack you, and that's why I screamed. But...when she ran in, she took Paul down from behind, and...and he didn't get back up." Stephanie shook her head. "Maybe he just didn't want to after that. I don't know."

CJ stood there quietly, taking it all in. Joanie was telling the truth all along.

"Chris, I think she's losing it."

He nodded, still silent. Stephanie led him into the locker room, where Adam was waiting on the both of them, surprised and still grinning.

"You did it! Holy hell, you really did it, didn't you?"

Our Hero sank down into a chair. "Yeah, I did."

Stephanie dabbed a wet towel at his wounds. "We've got to take you to a hospital."

He waved the towel away with a hand. "No, no hospitals. I'll be fine."

"You're hurt, though! Chris, you're in pain." She glanced over to Adam. "Tell him he's hurt!"

"You're hurt," Adam said, matter of factly. He noticed Stephanie was still looking at him, that question in her eyes. He turned away.

"No hospitals," he repeated. "I just want to get back to the hotel and sleep."

Stephanie hadn't turned away from Adam yet, that look still in her eyes, but she spoke back to CJ. "Of course, love. We'll go back if that's what you want."

*************

Chris lay there in the dark with Stephanie seated beside him, having dressed his wounds and now comforting him in his time of need. Silently, she seethed at Adam for betraying her like that. Still, he wasn't important. At least not now. Now, she needed to tell him, although she knew that this wasn't the time nor place. It had to be said.

"Honey?" She spoke softly, gently caressing his hand as he turned to her, eyes closed.

"Mmm?"

"Do your ribs still hurt?"

"Yeah, a little. Not as much as they did when we left." He closed his hand around hers. "Why don't you get some sleep?"

"I can't." She fought to keep the tears away.

"What's the matter?" Chris' eyes were open now, making it even harder on her.

"I...I've got to...say something."

"What?" He squeezed her hand a little.

"I love you...so much..."

He chuckled. "Well, that's a given. I love you too."

"You have to let me finish, honey." She felt her voice quiver and knew that she was going to lose it soon.

"Okay, I'll listen." He hadn't released her hand.

Stephanie gave a shaky sigh, and continued. "I...I'm saying this because I think it's good for both of us. It's something I have to do. I had to with Andrew and...and I hate myself for it but I have to do this with you too."

He shrugged. "I'm not sure I understand what you mean."

"I know you don't. God, Chris, I know you don't. You never will either, I don't think. You're so good, and so sweet, and so..." She stifled a sob then. "Adam never gave you that letter."

"What letter?"

She continued as if she hadn't heard him. "I guess he thought he was doing right by you but he's really making it harder on me to say this. I had it...all there...and..." She broke down. Chris sat up, wincing slightly, but managed to hold her.

"Stephanie," he said, his fears slowly starting to confirm themselves, "tell me what it is."

She choked out her response. "I can't...I can't continue this relationship, Chris. Not while we're here...we're together...working like this."

He didn't answer. CJ's heart fell and crashed harder than it ever had before. The pains went numb then, yet he continued holding her although his mind was racing a mile a minute. It was over. Over. She said it was. What else could he do? Chris sought after the right words to say, even though he was certain he'd never say what he really wanted. He felt the tears spring to his eyes and fall fast as he searched for something to say.

In a little, slight quivering voice, he responded. "Why?"

Stephanie sobbed. "I just...can't. Oh God, I wish you could understand...I want the best for you here, I really do..."

"Then *stay* with me..." His own voice was cracking now.

"It's too much, love. Can't you see that?"

"But I love you..." He let her words fall into a blur then. Understand...love...can't let it go on...trouble...hurt...always... There was nothing he could really understand about the situation, other than the fact that he really loved this girl and wasn't willing to let her get away from him, by any means. At all.

As she continued to speak, he interrupted finally, controlling his voice. "Fine."

She paused. "What?"

"I said 'fine'," he said, facing her now, bruises and all. "I quit."

Stephanie gasped then, taken off her guard. "You...?"

"I quit. I'll give my notice to the office tomorrow."

"Chris..."

"I can't stay here now, Stephanie. You were the only thing keeping me here." He repeated his words to drive them home. "The absolute only thing I had going for me in this company was you. And now that I can't have it there's no reason for me to be here."

Stephanie shook her head, trying to make sense of the situation. But it was final.

"So I quit."

****************

"I don't...Chris...don't do this...you won it tonight!" Stephanie was frantic, desperately seeking a way to keep him in the company. Mostly out of love, of course, but then again if her father had realized he'd just lost a major cashpot due to his daughter's affairs, Stephanie realized the danger in her situation. Still, CJ continued.

"I *want* to go." He leaned in a little, attempting to assuage her fears. "Steph, when I'm gone...from this company, that is...then we can be together."

Stephanie was silenced again, taking his words in.

He waited for her reaction, and then continued, more sure of himself now and finding that control again, that control that had eluded him over and over again for such a long time. "That's what I want. I want to leave here. That way we won't be working side by side anymore. You won't have anything to worry about."

She remained quiet. CJ reached out to stroke her hair. "Steph...I love you. So much. It'll be okay like this."

"I don't want you to leave," she murmured softly, realizing he'd outsmarted her position.

"You're not giving me much of a choice here, love," he answered steadily, proud of himself.

"I love you...and I want you to stay." Stephanie's voice was that of defeat as she realized where CJ had taken her all of a sudden. Past her rigid set of rules and standards to follow into something more warm, kind, and passionate. Someplace she'd never been, and someplace that she'd refused to go to, ever.

Chris smiled slightly. "Then where do we go from here?"

"Home," she answered, not above a whisper as she began the process of compromising her principle.

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