My abuse started shortly after my father re-married. He married a woman with three boys. I was always daddy's little girl, until this marriage. I was extremely happy for my dad, because he found someone he was truly in love with. This made me very happy.

They married when I was eleven.

My world crashed on me one afternoon, when I went up to the attic/stepbrother's room to find something for the beach. His room was attached to the storage area. My stepbrother was never very nice to me. He didn't take his mother's divorce very well and never excepted us. This day was different. He came over to me, and invited me to sit down and talk to him. This was very strange to me considering he never had anything to say to me. He then lunged over me putting his hand down the back of my pants. I was so startled, that I jumped up off the bed, and started freaking out. He told me it was ok, and never tell anyone what had happened. I ran down stairs, which entered my younger brother's room, and sat there awhile, scared of what just happened. He came down the stairs and went to the bathroom, where he kept the door ajar to keep an eye on me, making sure I didn't say anything to the boys. I didn't.

He never penetrated me, but he tormented me on a regular basis. He would come home at night and pace back and forth in front of my bedroom door. I never slept very well. One night I awoke to someone touching me, so I turned on my light overhead, and there he was. He told me to be quiet, and that he was naked. I started to get loud, yellilng at him to get out of my bedroom. He said to turn the light out and he would leave. My parents bedroom was close by, but they didn't hear anything.

As time went on, I would come home from school, and if my younger brothers were not home, and he was, I would show up at friends houses unannounced. I was always scared.

Finally, I decided it was time to tell. I couldn't live like this anymore. So I went to my step-mother's room, crying and trying to get the words out. Her response was "Maybe you shouldn't wear revealing clothes around the house". Now, I really felt alone. I was afraid to tell my dad. She didn't tell him, so my nightmare continued.

He finally left for college, which was the happiest day of my life! I could finally come and go as I pleased. I was free. Except for my relationship with my step-mother, which is another abuse in itself. The only time I worried about my brother now, was when he came home from college. And it continued.

I am 36 years old now, and I have just decided to confront my family on this matter (along with other things). I wrote my parents a letter with everything I have wrote here. My father hearing it for the first time, of course, was taken back a bit, but all he has done is make excuses for what had happened. He even said that the stepbrother has since seeked professional help. I too need closure. But what I also realize is that the only one that can do this is me. I am starting to go to ACOA meetings. My father is a recovering alcoholic. And bringing all this out in the open has helped a great deal. I want to add, that my step-mother has denied ever knowing of my sexual abuse. Funny, considering she was the one I went to.

I don't know if my story sounds all that bad to you, but you don't have to have been raped to have been abused. This ruined my teenage years. I am happy to say though, that I am very happy in my life now, with my husband and 10 year old son.

Thank you for reading my story.


Please e-mail Linda at lindachapman@hotmail.com.

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