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People only see what they are prepared to see.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
There is no point at which you can say,
'Well, I'm successful now. I might as well take a nap.'
Carrie Fisher
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.
Maya Angelou
There will come a time when you
believe everything is finished.
That will be the beginning.
Louis L'Amour
So do we pass the ghosts that haunt us later in our lives; they sit undramatically by the roadside like poor beggars, and we see them only from the corners of our eyes, if we see them at all. The idea that they have been waiting there for us rarely if ever crosses our minds. Yet they do wait, and when we have passed, they gather up their bundles of memory and fall in behind, treading in our footsteps and catching up, little by little.
Stephen King, Wizard and Glass
Either I will find a way, or I will make one.
Philip Sydney
I do my thing and you do yours. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, then it is beautiful. If not, it can't be helped.
the 'Gestalt Prayer'
A good many dramatic situations begin with screaming.
Barberella
Plunge boldy into the thick of life!
Goethe
If in the twilight of memory we should meet once more, we shall speak again together and you shall sing to me a deeper song. And if our hands should meet in another dream, we shall build another tower in the sky.
Kahlil Gibran from The Prophet
You're an actor, aren't you ? Well, all that means is that you're irresponsible, irrational, romantic, and incapable of handling an adult emotion or a universal concept without first reducing it to something personal, material, sensational, or sexual.
George Herman
Think where man's glory most begins and ends, and say my glory was I had such friends.
W.B. Yeats
Those who dance are thought to be quite insane by those who cannot hear the music.
Angela Monet
Move out man ! Life is fleeting by. Do something worthwhile before you die. Leave behind a work sublime, that will out live you and time.
Alfred A. Montepert
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Dylan Thomas
Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, and though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
Kahlil Gibran
Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad.
One must still have chaos in oneself to give birth to a dancing star.
Nietzsche
Sex without love is an empty experience, but as far as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
Woody Allen
Life is tough, but it's tougher if you're stupid.
John Wayne
Sometimes I go into my own little world. But that's okay, they know me there.
Joel Hodgson
You will be born into a strange and desolate place ... it will be called the 'average home'.
Jane Siberry
Laugh hard, it's a long way to the bank.
They Might Be Giants
Reality continues to ruin my life.
Calvin and Hobbes
I'm just as happy as the medication allows.
Andy Richter
I've got a lot of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
George Carlin
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Wisdom is nothing but wit plus time.
Buddy Cole
Are you losing your hearing or are you just stupid ?
Homer Simpson
I'm virtually bursting with adequatulance !
Phil Hartman
The prettier the flower, the farther from the path.
"Into the Woods"
We all enter this world in the same way - naked, screaming, and soaked in blood. But if you live your life right, that kind of thing doesn't have to stop there.
Dana Gould
Perhaps I'm unique because people are so dull. I'm not very good at being dull.
Morrisey
A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you.
Francoise Sagan
Remember me and smile, for it's better to forget than remember me and cry.
The Cure (from Treasure)
Some things you see with your eyes. Others you see with your heart.
The Land Before Time
People so seldom say I love you, and then it's either too late, or love goes. So when I tell you I love you, it doesn't mean I know you'll never go, only that I wish you didn't have to.
Just because I'm moody, doesn't mean you're not annoying.
Cheese is milk, striving for immortality.
Don't be a magician, be magic!
Let your heart guide you. It whispers, so listen closely.
The Land Before Time
You are the answer to every prayer I've offered. You are a song, a dream, a whisper, and I don't know how I could have lived without you for as long as I have.
My friend, if I could give you one thing, I would wish for you the ability to see yourself as others see you. Then you would realize what a truly special person you are.
B.A. Billingsly
Remember me with smiles and laughter, for that's how I'll remember you. If you can only remember me in sadness and tears, then don't remember me at all.
Beautiful dreamer, wake unto me, Starlight and dewdrop are waiting for thee.
Stephen Foster
I want to lay like this forever, until the sky falls down over me.
Savage Garden
Our sweetest songs are those that tell of the saddest thoughts.
Today is my only special miracle, only I can decide how it will be lived, only I can make it meaningful, only I can make it happen, make it a GOOD day!
In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
I must be wishing on someone else's star, because everyone else seems to be getting what I'm wishing for.
We laughed until we had to cry, we loved right down to our last goodbye...
Tell that someone that you love, just what you're thinking of, if tomorrow never comes.
Garth Brooks
Your so beautiful, it hurts to look at you.
Angela from My-So-Called-Life, on what she wants a guy to say to her
Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain.
You dont know what you do to me, you dont have a clue, You cant tell what its like to be me looking at you.
I don't have time every morning to put on makeup. I need that time to clean my rifle.
Henriette Mantel
You can always tell when someone's lying to you, because they're male...
Caroline Rhea
I think, therefore I'm single.
Liz Winston
Dionne: Hello! That was a stop sign!
Cher: I totally paused!
Clueless
Unfortunately, sometimes people don't hear you until you scream.
Stefanie Powers
I'd rather taste blood, yours, or mine, flowing from a sudden slash, than cut all day with blunt scissors on the dotted lines like the teacher told.
Somewhere out in this audience may even be someone who will one day follow my footsteps, and preside over the White House as the president' s spouse. I wish him well!
Barbara Bush
I carry my microphone with me
everywhere I go
it makes for a very good dead weight
in case of an emergency
in case I need to break your face
n case I need you to be dead
Chantal Kreviazuk, "Believer"
We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect.
Alanis Morissette, "Perfect"
You know, I think I could have the cure to AIDS or Cancer in my head, but that brain cell is filled instead with old dialogue from the Brady Bunch.
Mary Newton
Think wrongly if you please, but in all cases think for yourself.
Doris Lessing
Soon they'll be telling you
you can't be
Batman, Shakespeare, President, or God.
Little fat baby, going on
schoolgirl, you can be
anyone, but it won't be easy.
Marilyn Hacker, "To Iva, Two-and-a-Half"
So many faces in and out of my life; some will last, some will be just now and then. Life is a series of hellos and goodbyes, I'm
afraid it's time for goodbye again.
Billy Joel
All my life I wanted to fly but I don't have the wings and I wonder why.
Big Pig
I want to be the one to walk in the sun! Oh, Girls they wanna have fun.
Cyndi Lauper
If you're lost, you can look. You will find me. Time after time. If you fall, I will catch you. I will be waiting. Time after time.
Cyndi Lauper
And when I say you sucked my brain out, the English translation is I am in love with you, and it is no fun...
Ani Difranco
What would I eat if I was only allowed one kind of food? That's easy! Pez; cherry flavored pez. No doubt about it.
Vern, Stand By Me
The powerful play of life goes on, and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?
Evil will always triumph because good is dumb.
SpaceBalls
Two hits. Me hitting you; you hitting the floor.
The Breakfast Club
D.C.: "Lloyd, why do you have to be like this?
Lloyd: 'Cause I'm a guy! I have pride!
Corey: You're not a guy.
Lloyd: I am.
Corey: No, the world is full of guys. Be a man, don't be a guy.
Say Anything
I once thought I had mono for an entire year, It turned out I was just really bored.
Waynes World
At the moment you don't think much of it, you know, we just don't recognize the most significant moment of our lives. Back then I thought, "There'll be other days..." I didn't realize that was the only day.
Field Of Dreams
Be excellent to each other.
Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand!
The Simpsons
We now have a new rule on the bus: passengers will refrain from killing my soul!
Stu Benedict, The Adventures of Pete & Pete
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?" Then a voice answers "Nothing personal, your name just happened to come up.
Charlie Brown; Peanuts
Most great men and women are not perfectly rounded in their personalities, but are instead people whose one driving enthusiasm is so great it makes their faults seem insignificant.
Charles A. Cerami
In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.
Albert Schweitzer
There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.
Woody Allen
In works of labour, or of skill,
I would be busy too;
For Satan finds some mischief still
For idle hands to do
Isaac Watts
Always try to rub up against money, for if you rub up against money long enough, some of it may rub off on you.
Damon Runyon
You can run the office without a boss, but you can't run an office without the secretaries
Jane Fonda
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight
Phyllis Diller
The answer to Life, the Universe and Everything is
"42."
Douglas Adams
You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap.
Dolly Parton
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society
Mark Twain
France is a country where the money falls apart in your hands and you can't tear the toilet paper
Billy Wilder
Guys are like roses: You gotta watch out for the
pricks.
When you die, you should leave your brain to science,
after all, their the ones with the microscopes
powerful enough to find it.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
God made me pretty
What happened to you?
I have learned that the dashing white-knight who was
supposed to sweep me off my feet...has apparently
gotten lost in the forest.
If you love something, let it go; if it comes back to
you, it's yours; if it doesn't...hunt it down and
kill it.
Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you've been up to.
Life is sticking your face in a blender...it hurts.
But through plastic surgery and a good psychiatrist,
things can work out in the end.
Never knock on Death's door...ring the doorbell and
run.
Follow you're dreams...except for that one where you
show up at school naked.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to
drive.
No matter what you say, or how much the evidence
points otherwise, or how hard you argue, the fact
will still remain that I'm right.
Due to lack of interest, tomorrow has been canceled.
Everyone has the power to make others happy; some do
it by entering the room, others by leaving it.
If you don't think God has a good sense of humor just
take a good look around you.
A dollar bill is just a piece of paper that the government says has value.
If you're going to get in trouble for hitting
someone, you might as well do it hard.
I came. I tried. I lost. Dammit. I came again. I
cheated. I won.
Save a plant, eat a cow. I want beef, I want it now.
Fear can sometimes be a useful emotion. For instance,
let's say you're an astronaut on the moon and you
fear that your partner has been turned into Dracula.
The next time he goes out for moon pieces, wham!, you
just slam the door behind him and blast off. He might
call you on the radio and say he's not Dracula, but
you just say, 'Think again, batman!'
Jack Handy
Roses are red
Violets are blue.
I'm not arrogant,
I'm just better than you.
Who wrote 'The Book Of Love'??...And what the hell
were they thinking?!?!
Another thing this country needs: a shopping cart with four wheels that all go in the same direction!
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and
getting out of range before it is understood.
Yea, I have a conscience...I also have an appendix,
but how often do I use THAT?
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Here's a good trick: Get a job as a judge at the
Olympics. Then, if some guy sets a world record,
pretend that you didn't see it and go, 'Okay, is
everybody ready to start now?'
Jack Handy
I am me, you are...well, ummm, just you. I'm sorry.
Deal with it.
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off
now.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the
spot.
A friend in need is a pest indeed.
When everything comes your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Sex on television can't hurt you...unless you fall off.
I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
I always win. Except when I lose, but then I just
don't count it.
There are about 3 billion women who don't look like
supermodels and ONLY 8 WHO DO.
All the world's a stage, and most of us are severely unrehearsed.
High School is the best years of your life. Love it.
Live it. Enjoy it. And in your extra time, do your
homework.
There are two types of mints you never turn down in
life: breath mints and compliments. Either way,
someone is trying to tell you something.
Everything that isn't nailed down is mine. Anything
that I can pry loose is not nailed down.
I ran up the door and closed the stairs, I said my
pajamas and put on my prayers, I turned out the bed
and jumped in the light, all just because he kissed
me goodnight!
I’m sick of my parents asking me how school was. It’s
like asking how a drive by shooting was...you don’t
care, you're just glad to get out alive.
I’m young, I live in a house my father owns, in a bed
my father bought. Nothing is mine, except my hope and
my fears and my growing knowledge that not every road
is gonna lead home anymore.
In your life, you meet people. Some you never think
about again. Some, you wonder what happened to
them. There are some that you wonder if they ever
think about you. And then there are some you wish
you never had to think about again. But you do.
May the love hidden deep inside your heart find the
love waiting in your dreams. May the laughter that
you find in your tomorrow wipe away the pain you find
in your yesterdays.
If this is some game where I have to choose now or
never, forget it.
When you find that you can't feel very much now...it
is because you felt too much before. And when you
feel that you just don't care now...it is because you
cared too much before.
There's moments in your life that make you that set
the course for who you're gonna be. Sometimes they're
little subtle moments. Sometimes they're not. Bottom
line is even when you see them coming you're not
ready for the big moments. Nobody asks for their life
to change. Not really, but it does. So what are we,
helpless? Puppets? No, the big moments are gonna come.
You can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that
counts. Thats when you find out who you are.
No smile is as beautiful as one that struggles through the tears.
Instead of thinking about what you're missing, try
thinking about what you have that everyone else is
missing.
I may not be perfectly beautiful, I may not be
perfectly wise, I may not be perfectly obedient, but
I am perfectly me.
Live life so completely that when death comes to you
like a thief in the night, there will be nothing left
for him to steal.
Life is a competition. If some one is better than
you, either pretend that it's not true or kick some butt.
Live today like you want to be remembered tomorrow.
It takes 17 muscles to smile and 47 muscles to frown. Conserve energy.
It isn't that I don't know, it's just that you
wouldn't understand if I told you.
I'm just the beneficiary of a lucky break in the genetic sweepstakes.
Isaac Asimov
Heck, what's a little extortion among friends?
Calvin and Hobbes
I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?
Calvin and Hobbes
Everything is controlled by a small evil group to which, unfortunately, no one we know belongs.
George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but he also admitted doing it. Now, do you know why his father didn't punish him? Because George still had the axe in his hand.
I'll stab you in the head. With my dick!
Adam Sandler
We should forgive our enemies, but only after they've been taken out and shot.
Grub first, then ethics.
Bertolt Brecht
If it looks like shit, smells like shit, mail it to your enemy -- he'll know what to do with it.
Doug Horton
I don't necessarily agree with everything I say.
Marshall McLuhan
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
H. H.Munro
Ninety percent of everything is crap.
Theodore Sturgeon
An authority is a person who can tell you more about something than you really care to know.
There are no errors in this book, except this one.
I don't hate anyone, but I've read many obituraries with great pleasure.
There's a lady who's sure All that glitters is gold And she's buying a stairway to heaven. When she gets there she knows If the stores are all closed With a word she can get what she came for. Ooh, ooh, and she's buying a stairway to heaven. There's a sign on the wall But she wants to be sure 'Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings. In a tree by the brook There's a songbird who sings, Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven. Ooh, it makes me wonder, Ooh, it makes me wonder. There's a feeling I get When I look to the west, And my spirit is crying for leaving. In my thoughts I have seen Rings of smoke through the trees, And the voices of those who standing looking. Ooh, it makes me wonder, Ooh, it really makes me wonder. And it's whispered that soon, If we all call the tune Then the piper will lead us to reason. And a new day will dawn For those who stand long And the forests will echo with laughter. If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, Don't be alarmed now, It's just a spring clean for the May queen. Yes, there are two paths you can go by But in the long run There's still time to change the road you're on. And it makes me wonder. Your head is humming and it won't go In case you don't know, The piper's calling you to join him, Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow, And did you know Your stairway lies on the whispering wind. And as we wind on down the road Our shadows taller than our soul. There walks a lady we all know Who shines white light and wants to show How ev'rything still turns to gold. And if you listen very hard The tune will come to you at last. When all are one and one is all To be a rock and not to roll. And she's buying a stairway to heaven.
Led Zeppelin's Stairway to Heaven
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
Doug Adams
The object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastard die for his.
George Patton
Tell me whom you love, and I will tell you who you are.
Houssaye
Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
Society is now one polished horde, --- Formed of two mighty tribes, the Bores and Bored.
Lord Byron
If a person offend you and you are in doubt as to whether it was intentional or not, do not resort to extreme measures. Simply watch your chance and hit him with a brick.
Mark Twain
Catch a man a fish, and you can sell it to him. Teach a man to fish, and you ruin a wonderful business opportunity.
Karl Marx
I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
Albert Einstein
I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: "O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous." And God granted it.
Voltaire
Love truth, but pardon error.
Voltaire
Art is never finished, only abandoned.
Leonardo da Vinci
The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.
Muhammad Ali
I have great faith in fools; My friends call it self-confidence.
Edgar Allen Poe
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick -- not wounded -- dead.
Woody Allen
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
Groucho Marx
The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating.....and you finish off as an orgasm.
George Carlin
I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, 'Got any shoes you're not using?
Steven Wright
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Ben Franklin
Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box.
Italian Proverb
I wondered why someone didn't do something about the situation-- then I remembered that I am someone.
It's easier to ask for forgiveness than for permission.
Steve Dahl
Writing is easy. All you do is stare at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead.
Gene Fowler
If you can't take the heat, don't tickle the dragon.
Scott Fahlman
It's not unusual to learn more in the 5 minutes between classes than one learns during the 55 minutes of official class time.
Howard Lambert
Don't just eat a hamburger, eat the hell out of it! Remember, each little chloroplast is a living cell! Spread your omnivery around! Eat a little of everything so that no species is singled out by your ravening, ape-like apetite. Bananas! Banana slugs! Cats! Dogs! Fish! Artichokes! Granola! Graneries! Grandmother! Eat them all!
Steve Lamont
What would Brian Boytano do if he were here today? I bet he'd kick an ass or two, that's what Brian Boytano'd do.
South Park Movie
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.
Steven Wright
Science is not the TRUTH. If you want ultimate TRUTH go to religion. We scientists don't deal in that stuff.
Andy Holder
Fear less, hope more, eat less, chew more, whine less, breathe more, talk less, say more, hate less, love more and all good things will be yours.
Swedish proverb
Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth.
Alan Watts
Love thy neighbor as yourself, but choose your neighborhood.Louise Beal
The glass is neither half empty nor half full. It is twice as large as it needs to be.
There has been an alarming increase in the number of things you know nothing about.
Most plain girls are virtuous because of the scarcity of opportunity to be otherwise.Maya Angelou
I know only two tunes: one of them is "Yankee Doodle" and the other one isn't.Ulysses S. Grant
Food is an important part of a balanced diet.Fran Lebowitz
No guts, no glory, no brain, same story.
What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind.Thomas Hewitt Key
Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.Sam Ewing
Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and sentences that may be deemed offensive.warning label on children's alphabet blocks.
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.Dave Barry
A billion here, a couple of billion there - first thing you know it adds up to be real money.Everett McKinley Dirksen
We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.Lily Tomlin
Deck us all with Boston Charlie,Walla Walla, Wash., an' Kalamazoo!
Nora's freezin' on the trolley,
Swaller dollar cauliflower, alleygaroo!
Don't we know archaic barrel,
Lullaby Lilla Boy, Louisville Lou.
Trolley Molly don't love Harold,
Boola boola Pensacoola hullabaloo!
I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people.Ed Bluestone
Do you know what the death rate around here is?One per person.
What's big and green, and if it falls out of a tree it'll kill you?A pool table.
For best results: Wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron.For not so good results: Drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on car rooftop.
laundry instructions on a shirt made by HEET
Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.Jack Handey
I used to go fishing, then it dawned on me: I can buy fish.Kenny Rogerson
I'm never wrong. Once, I thought I was, but I was mistaken.Carl Blankenhorn
Sign at a Kentucky appliance store: Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.
When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.Elayne Boolser
The odds against there being a bomb on a plane are a million to one, and against two bombs a million times a million to one. Next time you fly, cut the odds and take a bomb.Benny Hill
USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75 percent of the population.David Letterman
It was such a lovely day I thought it a pity to get up.W. Somerset Maugham
Does anal retentive have a hyphen?
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
If God had wanted people to give blow jobs, he wouldn't have given them teeth.
Lisa Simpson takes after both her parents: she has Marge's common sense, hard work ethic and sympathy for others; she has Homer's last name.The Simpsons
If you pray hard enough, water will run uphill. How hard? Why, hard enough to make water run uphill, of course!Robert Heinlen
Yesterday was Chinese New Year. It's the Year of the Rabbit. And here's how dumb I am. I'm still writing the Year of the Pig on my checks.David Letterman
Email: lillycakes@aol.com
