Coming together is the beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success.
Henry Ford
A fool will learn nothing from a wise man, but a wise man will learn much from a fool.
Confucius
When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.
Eric Hoffer
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
Voltaire
There's only one way to find out if a man is honest; Ask him. If he says yes, you know he's a crook.
Groucho Marx
Adolescence is a dirty joke God played on humanity.
Anonymous
The Earth has a skin and that skin has diseases, one of those diseases is man.
Fredrich Nietzsche
We swallow greedily any lie that flatters us, but we sip only little by little at a truth we find bitter.
Denis Diderot
In any great organization it is far, far safer to be wrong with the majority than to be right alone.
John Kenneth Galbraith
The fool doth think himself wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.
Shakespeare
You can't run away from trouble. There ain't no place that far.
Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.
Will Rogers
We must laugh before we are happy, for fear we die before we laugh at all.
Jean de La Bruyere
A joke is a very serious thing.
Winston Churchill
Never argue with fools, they don't know when you win.
If knowledge can create problems, it is not through ignorance that we can solve them.
Isaac Asimov
The first step towards knowledge is to know that we are ignorant.
Richard Cecil
Conversation is the slowest form of human communication.
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
Will Rogers
Develop an "I don't believe in defeat" attitude. If you can learn to look at problems as temporary and use them as stepping stones, you will come to understand that the only limitations you have are those you set into your own mind.
A person is never a failure until he or she accepts defeat as permanent and quit trying. Most failures could have been converted into successes if someone had held on another minute or made one more effort.
Man has made use of his intelligence, he invented stupidity.
Remy De Gourmant
Hope and fear do not travel together.
Faith removes limitations.
I not only use all the brains that I have, but all that I can borrow.
Woodrow Wilson
Make good or make room, but don't make excuses!
A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
If only we'd stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time.
Edith Wharton
I always knew that I'd look back at my tears and laugh, but I never thought that I'd look back at my laughter and cry.
Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward.
Gallagher
If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.
Woody Allen
The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials.
Chinese Proverb
There are two perfectly good men, one dead, and the other unborn.
Chinese Proverb
Courage is getting away from death by continually coming within an inch of it.
G.K.Chesteron
It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.
Confucius
Life is like a piano...What you get out of it depends on how you play it.
When you stop getting better, you stop being good.
You can't hold a man down without staying down with him.
Booker T. Washington
What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.
Aristotle
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve months telling them to sit down and shut up.
Phyllis Diller
I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.
Albert Einstein
Believe those who are seeking the truth; doubt those who find it.
Andre Gilde
The strongest man in the world is he who stands alone.
Henrik Ibsen
We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.
Alfred E. Newman
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else.
Will Rogers
Courage is being the only one who knows that you are afraid.
Anonymous
He who has been bitten by a snake fears a piece of string.
Persian Proverb
Lost, yesterday, somewhere between sunrise and sunset, two golden hours, each set with sixty diamond minutes. No reward is offered, for they are gone forever.
Horace Mann
Time is a created thing. To say, "I don't have time," is like saying, "I don't want to."
Lao-Tzu
Stumbling is not falling.
Portuguese Proverb
If you are going to do something wrong at least enjoy it.
Leo Rosten
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
Woody Allen
The best defense against the atom bomb is not to be there when it goes off.
Anonymous
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
Bob Hope
There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
Henry Kissinger
I detest life-insurance agents; they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.
Stephen Leacock
Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought.
Albert von Szent-Gyorgyi
A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece.
Ludwig Erhard
A wise man can see more from the bottom of a well than a fool can from a mountain top.
Sometimes the one you think you have outwitted by talk has outwitted you by silence.
All power corrupts, but we need the electricity.
An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions.
Robert A. Humphrey
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
You tone of voice often conveys more accurately what is in your mind than your words do.
I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him.
Galileo Galilei
I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way.
Carl Sandburg
The problem with unwritten law is that you don't know where to go to erase it.
Glaser and Way
You can't have a light without a dark to stick it in.
Arlo Guthrie
You might as well fall flat on your face as lean over too far backward.
James Thurber
Isn't it peculiar that some people are so clever at inventing alibis and so dull at doing the job that would make alibis unnecessary?
The hardest part of any job is getting started -- but it's sure thing you'll never finish if you don't start.
I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.
G. K. Chesterton
A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends.
Baltasar Gracian
If you believe in everything you read, better not read.
Japanese Proverb
Part of being sane is being a little bit crazy.
Janet Long
Life is too important to take seriously.
Corky Siegel
Anything too stupid to be said is sung.
Voltaire ![]()
Killdozer, "Richard"
In the beginning there were three... and then the three became nine... and
then the nine got hungry and then there were four...
Gerard Phillips
Bullshit makes the flowers grow and that's Beautiful.
Unknown, Principia Discordia
... I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a
paranoid little weirdo... in morse code...
Emo Phillips
What is the difference between apathy and ignorance? I don't know and I don't care.
World Entertainment War
Don't put off for tomorrow what you can do today, because if you enjoy it today you can do it again tomorrow.
Before you tell someone how good you are, you must tell him how bad you used to be.
Semon Emil Knudson
Money will buy you a fine dog, but only love can make it wag it's tail.
Richard Friedman
Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
Scott Adams
Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
Dykstra
When nobody around you seems to measure up, it's time to check your yardstick.
Our faults irritate us most when we see them in others.
Pennsylvania Dutch Proverb
With foxes we must play the fox.
Thomas Fuller
In calm water every ship has a good captain.
Swedish Proverb
In negotiation, he who cares less, wins.
Anonymous
A person usually has two reasons for doing something: a good reason and the real reason.
J.P.Morgan ![]()
The game of life is not so much in holding a good hand as playing a poor hand well.
The only gracious way to accept an insult is to ignore it; if you can't ignore it, top it; if you can't top it, laugh at it; if you can't laugh at it, it's probably deserved.
Russell Lynes
The time to win a fight is before it starts.
Frederick W. Lewis
The heights by great men reached and kept Were not attained by sudden flight; But they, while their companions slept Were toiling upward in the night.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
The haves and the have-nots can often be traced back to the dids and did-nots.
All the Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas
Layin' in the sun;
Talkin' 'bout the things
they Woulda-Coulda-Shoulda done.
But those Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas
All ran and hid
From one little did.
Shel Silverstine
A misty morning does not signify a cloudy day.
Ancient Proverb
If anyone accepts my help who doesn't need it, that's his problem; if I refuse my help to anyone who needs it, that's my problem.
The easiest way to find a use for something is to throw it out.
I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.
There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another which states that this has already happened.
Never ask a question unless the answer makes a difference.
Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.
Robert Frost
If you don't care where you are, then you aren't lost.![]()
Be willing to lose a battle in order to win the war.
Someone will always be looking at you as an example of how to behave. Don't let them down.
Don't overlook life's small joys while searching for the big ones.
Every person that you meet knows something you don't; learn from them.
It's amazing what you can do when someone has faith in you.
Some people see more in a walk around the block than others see in a trip around the world.
If you have a difficult task, give it to someone lazy, that person will find an easier way to do it.
I think all of us are looking at the future with yesterday's eyes.
Dan Burrus
No one can see their reflection in running water. It is only in still water that we can see.
The wisdom of the Taoists
If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.
Ogden Nash
Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting.
Christopher Morley
We must not allow other people's limited perceptions to define us.
Virginia Satir
The only interesting answers are those which destroy the question.
Susan Sontag
Someone sent me a picture postcard of the Earth. On the back it said 'Wish you were here.'
Steven Wright
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.
Sometimes when you hold out for everything, you walk away with nothing.
Angela on Ally McBeal
At college age, you can tell who is best at taking tests and going to school, but you can't tell who the best people are. That worries the hell out of me.
Barnaby C. Keeney
It seems that somewhere around the age of eighteen (give or take ten years), something in us decides, "That's it, I've had it, I'm done. I know all I need to know and I'm not learning any more."
The Portable Life 101
Look, I really don't want to wax philosophic,
but I will say that if you're alive,
you got to flap your arms and legs,
you got to jump around a lot,
you got to make a lot of noise,
because life is the very opposite of death.
Mel Brooks
What a wonderful day we've had. You have learned something, and I have learned something. Too bad we didn't learn it sooner. We could have gone to the movies instead.
Balki Bartokomous "Perfect Strangers"
Some of what we learned early on turned out to be true (the earth is round; if you want a friend, be a friend; cleanliness is next to impossible) and some of it turned out to be false (Santa Claus; the Tooth Fairy; Kansas is more fun than Oz).
The Portable Life 101
Sooner or later every one of us breathes an atom that has been breathed before by anyone you can think of who has lived before us-- Michelangelo or George Washington or Moses.
Jacob Bronowski
There is more empty space in the book you're holding, than book. The electrons in the atoms of the book are moving so fast, they give us the illusion of solid ink on solid paper. It's not. It's just an illusion. If all the electrons would stop moving for even an instant the book would not just crumble into dust, it would disappear. Poof.
The Portable Life 101
The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.
Mark Russell
If you're taking an essay exam on geography, and the exam could be on any of the countries in the world, study only one country, and know it well.
Let's say you choose China.
When it comes time for the exam, and the question is, "Write 1,000 words on Nigeria," you begin your essay, "Nigeria is nothing like China..." and proceed to write everything you know about China.
Quentin Crisp
And that's the way it is.
Walter Cronkite
There is no human problem which could not be solved if people would simply do as I advise.
Gore Vidal
I'm going to turn on the light, and we'll be two people in a room looking at each other and wondering why on earth we were afraid of the dark.
Gale Wilhelm
If you listen carefully, you'll hear )or sense) a voice inside yourself. It's the voice of your Master Teacher. (We'll use the word voice, but for you it may be an image or a feeling or a sensation or any combination of these.) It may not be the loudest voice "in there," but it's often the most consistent, patient, and persistent one. What does your Master Teacher sound like? It's the one that just said, "I sound like this."
The Portable Life 101
When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.
Jimmy Breslin
Suicide is always an option, of course. It is, sometimes, what makes life bearable. Knowing we don't absolutely HAVE to be here can make being here a little easier. We do not, however, recommend suicide. Sometimes it's only after a painful process is over that we can look back and see what we learned from the situation.
The Portable Life 101 ![]()
Quentin Crisp
While one person hesitates because he feels inferior, the other is busy making mistakes and becoming superior.
Henry C. Link
If you're not actively involved in getting what you want, you don't really want it.
The Portable Life 101
You said, "but."
I've put my finger on the whole trouble.
You're a "but" man. Don't say, "but."
That little word "but" is the difference
between success and failure.
Henry Ford said, "I'm going to invent the automobile,"
and Arthur T. Flanken said, "But..."
Sgt. Ernie Bilko "The Phil Silvers Show"
The Naked Gun 2 1/2 slogan:
If you only see one movie this year... you should get out more often!
Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with a seat missing, but it hurts.
Drebin, Naked Gun 2 1/2
I don't think we're on Venus anymore, Otot.
This here's a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and it can blow your head clean off. Now, you must ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky?
Well, do you, punk?
Dirty Harry
Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius; will you remember to pay the debt?
Last words of Socrates
Why yes -- a bulletproof vest.
James Rodges, murderer, on his final
request before the firing squad
Now comes the mystery.
Last words of Henry Ward Beecher
Friends applaud, the comedy is over.
Last words of Ludwig von Beethoven
Drink to me.
Last words of Pablo Picasso
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
Jim Harkins
If of all words of tongue and pen,
The saddest are, "It might have been,"
More sad are these we daily see:
"It is, but hadn't ought to be."
Francis Brett Hart
"Things must happen when it is time for them to happen, a quest may not simply be abandoned. The happy ending cannot come in the middle of the story." "But what if there isn't a happy ending at all?" "There are no happy endings because nothing ever ends."
Smendrick and Molly in The Last Unicorn
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes.
Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
Character is what you are in the dark.
Dwight
The world is moving so fast these days that the man who says it can't be done is generally interrupted by someone doing it.
Elbert Hubbard
A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.
Don't critisize what you can't understand.
Bob Dylan
Yes there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run, there's still time to change the road you're on.
Led Zeppelin
If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?
If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girls Scout cookies made out of?
Friendship recognizes faults in friends--but doesn't talk about it.
Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.
Stephen Butler Leacok
Winning is the result of planning. Putting the ball through the hoop is still the best plan.
NO FEAR Tshirt
In those days he was wiser than he is now--he used to frequently take my advice.
Winston Churchill
Advice is seldom welcome, and those who need it the most, like it the least.
Lord Chesterfield
Never argue over unimportant details. Even if you win, you'll have gained no advantage!
If you don't know what you want from life, what do you think you'll get?
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he'll be a mile away--and barefoot.
Sarah Jackson
>hr>
If you know where you're going and take that first step, you are on your way!
Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by traffic from both sides.
Margaret Thatcher
I like thinking big. If you're going to be thinking anything, you might as well think big.
Donald Trump
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
Mark Twain
It is good sportsmanship not to pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
Mark Twain
Excuses are like assholes, everyone has one, and they all stink.
US Marine Proverb
If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?
If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
In court, why do they ask if you swear to tell the truth? If you're planning on lying, do they really think you'll tell them so?
What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?
What happens if you get scared half to death,...twice?
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
The best way out is always through.
Robert Frost
It's usually the fool who can't swim who rocks the boat.
If you have something you don't need, give it to someone who needs it. It will come back one way or another.
You don't remember the practices. You do remember the games.
You can't cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water. Don't let yourself indulge in vain wishes.
Rabindranath Tagore
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