MADD SCiENTiST's LYRiX

IRISH SPRING! That sleek green bar, the shamrock scent the Leprachaun he is my friend I found one day, while in the shower my armpits, they could smell like flowers Zest won't do, Dial ain't the thing, I feel so fresh, thats why I sing to my soap, I'm such a mess, but this sh*ts better than Carress... IF I AM... Goin' to the moives, or maybe to the zoo, or if I have a hot date, and I'll be out past 2(am), when I'm in the shower, I reach for just one thing, the only soap I'll ever use and it's called: IRISH SPRING!

tHe mADD sCiENTiSTs Theme Song! With our lab coats and beakers, we do expirements EVERYDAY! We f**k up animals, little cats, little dogs, love to kill yr neighbor's frogs! WEEEE ARRREEE MAAADDD SCIENTISTS! WEEEE MAAAKEE F**KED UP EXPIREMENTS! Lab coats and beakers, we do expirements, SECOND VERSE! Same as the first, little girls, little boys, love to f**k them and steal their TOYS! WEEEE ARRRREE MADDD SCIENTISTS! WEEEE MAAKKEE F**KED UP EXPIREMENTS!

LoVe iN A bUcKEt! Extra Crispy, say you'll kiss me! Ultra-Spicy you entice me! Dipped in Gravy, yer my baby! Finger-Lickin' So's the Chicken! Love in a Bucket! x3 Eat at KFC! Yer legs yer breast yer wings yer thighs, Love yr biscuts, I love yr Eyes! Mashed potatoes and yr lips! Colonel Sanders makes me FLIP! Everybody needs a little KFC! Love in a Bucket! x3 Eat at KFC!

X-GIRL! ...and I'm wondering what happened.. what did i do to f**k this up? ...guess i'll sit here, and whine a little more. just let me know when to shut up. think i'll go watch some T&A! I've got nothing else to do. Thanks for all those precious nights, my angel. I've got nothing else to lose. WAIT! My X-girls gone away, I tried to make her sorry. I tried to make her stay... WAIT! My X-girls gone away, I tried to make things different, but she left me anyway... ...and I'm getting SO bored.. wish I'd think of something new... yeah i'll always need my two fans running, yeah i guess I don't need you. Everything that I ever did... guess I didn't do enough... It was fun to be around you always.. maybe just a little too much. (CHORUS) and I know that yr gone... and this lasted too long maybe I am all wrong... Whaddya think of yr song???? (CHOURS)

RaYToWn SaLLY! Going down to Raytown, in my Mazda pick-up truck. Many different people there, all looking for some f**k. Met a girl named Sally and her hair was greasy Red. She took me out back and she gave me greasy Head! RAYTOWN SALLY WAS A HO! and JACK SHOULD KNOW! We went to White Castle in my Mazda pick-up truck. Saw the cop's lights shining and I knew I was out of luck. Officer Neff came and he grabbed me by the Hair. He said "Sally, daughter, get away from THERE!" RAYTOWN SALLY WAS A HO!!! AND JACK SHOULD KNOW! 20 years later, I am mayor of Raytown. I am king of the low-class, Sally weighs 800 pounds. She went on Jenny Jones and told about our affair... When I get out of Leavenworth, I hope I'll stil be mayor... RAYTOWN SALLY WAS HO!!! AND JACK SHOULD KNOW!!!!

DENTAL HYGENE! Visiting the Hygenist, I go there twice a year... She always tells me sh*t that I DON'T WANNA HEAR! She says to BRUSH and FLOSS and DO THIS TWICE A DAY! But I just kick her ass and say "F**K YOU NO WAY!!" Dental Hygene? F**K YOU! Dental Hygene? NO WAY! Brush Yr teeth. You gotta floss. Now Rinse. Now Spit that Sh*t! BRUSH! FLOSS! RINSE! SPIT!

Defiance We've been in this fight for almost 200 years.. They gave us: rights, hopes, dreams and our fears... We know the enemy, it lies within ourselves.. Don't just conform to this, reject your fate, rebel.. DEFY, society's plans for you, just make the choice yourself. DEFY, the status symbols with their fur coats, pearls and wealth, DEFY, your television and the message that it sends.. DEFY, these Puritan ethics, create your own instead.. Why should we turn our heads, and make up an excuse? Why "go with the flow" and accept all this abuse? We need a revolution and we need it now... Fight off these enforced morals.. and take control.

TIME is HERE! the time is here, my life goes faster, breaking molds like breaking plaster, and sometimes I'm outside myself, witnessing disaster, my comfort comes in little things, little things that never matter. Time is Here! Time is Here! I need your help, but you won't go and nothing changes 'til you know. phones are ringing no ones home. tick tock time goes by, all my hopes now fade and die. time is here! time is here! mental pictures, no escape, now I know it's much too late,somebody get me outta here, I need substance theres just smirking,it's clear this system isn't working. Time is Here! Time is Here! This time it's clear, it's me and you we gotta fight. This time it's clear, but not each other, it's not right. The time is near, when you will understand the problem. The Time is Here! It's YOU! Subconsciously we kill each other, steal from one then f**k the other, modern methods much too aggresive, we're the one's, making hell, we're gonna f**king kill ourselves Time is Here! Time is Here! No ones doing quite that much for nothing changes fast enough. and you can make it happen here. why are you just sitting there, acting like you just don't care? Time is Here! Time is Here! Nows the chance to make a difference, overcoming all resistance, fighting them instead of us. act as one instead of splitting, we all stand instead of sitting. Time is Here! Time is Here!

KU sXe CREW We got our posse, yeah, our friends from Lawrence, K. Some cool ppl we don't see everday, and we miss 'em, our thoughts go out to them, "I wonder what they're doing now?" Destroying beer bottles, wrestling cigarettes, their carefree hours produce, no regrets, there was a time when we'd see them everyday, but now we can't so we wrote 'em this song to say: KU sXe Crew, don't you know they're cooler than you. KU sXe Crew, Jimmy, Caitlin, Jevon and Erica (and Jason and Lil' B) too. (editor's note: sometimes they sing "J Crew, sXe Shoes")

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