FLOOD

bursting wall of tender liquid
listening
quietly.
heartbeat -- not felt;
heartbeat ............ hurt.

tension surging veins of green
anger FLOODING fields of spring.

red and fire,
enraging fears
drenched in blood,
unwilling tears.

gardens burning,
fires raging.
black and charred, calm returning.

blood-stained windows,
children peering,
and in this bursting,
nothign fearing,
a child in anguish,
a soul not sparing.

murder, ANGER, peace here dying,
and not a soul to hear the crying.

bitter silence, sweet on hearing
and in the darkness
forever fearing
annonymous

I am weeping blood
My sorrow runs deep.
Sharp and fresh on my soul.
To give and forgive, that is my job.
And if the knife pains me
Let it twist once again.

I am weeping blood
My sorrow is vast.
The current of it runs with the wind
Over the hills of my joy
Through the valleys of tribulation.
A wound newly opened
To deal with in time.

I am weeping blood
My sorrow is now.
It is the past, it is the future
I am sure.
The knife, as it twists,
I embrace, I hold tight
Lest it leave me
In peace and alone.

I am weeping blood
And my sorrow lives on.

S.W.

3.30.02

It's so beautiful.
All these little cuts lined up in a row
Barely an inch by an inch but full of bright brilliant color...
The blood speckles up through the many doorways I've given them.
Their escape.. is my escape.
Hush my love, its almost over.
You are a freebird.
Take with you what you will.
For I take with me, you, where ever i go.

-laura, 14

Cuts

Cuts and scrapes
Fill my body
I put them there
To scar my future
To remind myself
I am truly
Nothing

Cuts and bruises
Cuts on my wrists
Bruises in my sprit
Cuts my soul
Into pieces

Cuts and scars
Eternally remembering
The one who isn’t there
Cuts up the person within

Cuts and wound
Wounded heart
To never love again
Cuts to bleed out
The loneliness for longing

In this I am a demon of danger
Danger to myself and others

-laura,14

i can’t feel my arms
i can’t feel my legs
i can’t feel anything but the pain
i am numb to everything
the abyss is cold yet inside this pain burns something so uncontrollable that it leaves me shaking
i can’t feel my arms
i can’t feel my legs
i can’t see anything but the angry memories
i am numb to everything
i feel nothing and i can’t feel a thing
i feel everything and i can’t feel a thing.

-annonymous

Too Much

My hope is shattered
Taken away
Lost for good
From the light of today
Life.
Death.
A nature as one
United together
As sure as the sun
My hope is gone
I’m thinking, why?
Not much is left
Refuse to try
Trying I have
Should I bother again?
Dying, the answer
But is it the end?
Too many questions
The answers, from me
Don’t ask again
‘Cause you’ll never see.
Take a deep breath
Think it through
Not to late
What do I do?
I want you here
But not your pain
I have my own
Covered with shame.
So confused
And completely unsure
The life of me now
Like a cancer with no cure.
You panic like I do and plead to change
But it’s not that easy to rearrange
Life.
Death.
Experience the trend
One is the beginning
The other
The
End

-*M*

Questions With No Answers

What are you thinking
Do you feel how I do?
Is life just a maze
You somehow get through?
How do you stand
All the pressures around?
Have you ever met a friend
Whose stood on common ground?
Do they question your motives
And watch every move?
Do they say their your friend
But disappear when you lose?
Do they appear to feel sorry
And pretend that they care
But when it gets too much
Act like their not there?
How do you manage
With all that’s gone wrong?
Do you act like it’s nothing
Or try to move on?
Have you sunk to the bottom
And breathed your last breath?
Have you thought about nothing
And dreamed about death?
Have you sailed to the crypts
Of the unholy soul?
Have you handed it in
And taken the toll?
Whichever it is
I know how you feel
I’m living a life
That’s not even real.

-*M*

Tattered Heart

I’m scared of what you’ll think of me
If you found out who I was
It’s too hard on the heart and soul
To go one just because
You all expect so much from me
But I doubt you even know
That I go through life invisible
Until I fail to show
To show that what I have become
Is who I’ll always be
And what I’ve been will never change
And who I am is me
But these shadows that confine my soul
Are the darkness no one knows
Till it comes to much for me to hide
And my body to bestow
It’s like a simile of what it is
But it sinks below the skin
The knife I use to mark my want
Is a game I’ll never win
The Zone’s a place you’ll travel once
Where you think you can avert
It numbs your mind and frees your soul
And takes away your hurt
But that’s only what the hopeless think
And I am one of them
I’ve slipped beneath the grasp of dawn
Trapped, I am condemned
I do things I wish I’d never done
And wash away my worth
The essence of what I have become
Mean nothing to the Earth
Try and try and try again
Never will I dare
To reach my dreams among the stars
For failure is always there
Blocking out the energy
That comes in waves of shame
I know beneath the wicked core
That I’m the one to blame
The panic will always be
Hidden deep within
Somehow it will find a way
To remind me of my sin
The mystery is what will come
If I manage to suppress
These feelings I’ve collected along the way
And put the knife to rest

-*M*

I'm going to draw a picture...
a picture with a twist....
I'm going to draw it with a razor blade...
and draw it on my wrist.

-annonymous