I drove to an old abandoned warehouse where I would begin my plan. After eating some cookies and blankly staring at my watch, I reached for my cell phone and dialed up Lance.
Julie: Hey there Lansten.. how's it going?
Lance: Who is this?
Julie: It's Julie.. from Laugh A Little, ya know?
Lance: That stupid humor site?!?!
Julie: FUCK OFF PRICK! *ahem* Yes, thats me.
Lance: Yeah, so what do you want?
Julie: I need you and your friends to meet me at the old warehouse on 24th and Park St.
Julie: I can't tell you.
Lance: Well then we're not coming!
Julie: GOD! You're such a damn baby.. if you MUST know, we're uhh... changing our humor site to an "I love Lance forever" page. We wanted you and your friends to celebrate with us.
Lance, not realizing that I'm lying through my teeth, becomes excited.
Lance: Oooo, really?! Thats so sweet!
Julie: Ugh.. I mean, yeah! We love you Lance!
Lance: Ok, what time should we be there?
Julie: In one hour.
Lance: Ok! See ya then!
I practice the dance moves to "Digital Getdown" while I wait for the guys to arrive. An hour later, I hear a car pull up into the drive. A min. later, the guys come strolling in.
Julie: Hey guys!
Justin: This sure ain't look like no partay.
Julie: Shut up Justin, your time will come..
Julie: *cough* nevermind.. Everyone sit down. Now.
JC: Why should we listen to you?
Julie: Because I'm Julie and thats the way it freakin' goes! Now sit your crack smokin', spazz dancin', painted on pants, whore lovin' ass DOWN!
JC: Whoa.. ok..
The guys all sit down on the couch.
Joey: Uhh.. shouldn't there be food and stuff? I mean, this IS a party.. where's the cake?
Julie: Bitch! Does this LOOK like a birthday party to you?!
Joey: I dunno..
Julie: Zip it.
I grab some rope that I had hidden behind the couch and begin tying the guys up one by one.
Chris: Ok, I'm crazy Chris and all.. but tying us up is a little extreme, don't you think?
I stare at him for a moment.
Julie: You're old and you smell funny. Be quiet.
I finish the job and step back to admire my work.
Julie: What I could do to you in that position Justin..
Justin: Nobody's stoppin' you baby.. *wink*
Julie: Mmm.. *ahem* No, I can't. I have a job to do here.
Lance: I thought this was a party to celebrate how your converting your site to an "I Love Lance" page?! Why are we all tied up?!
Justin: Bitch, nah! She told me they be turnin' their site into a "Justin 4 Life" page!
JC: What?! She told ME it was gonna be a JC page!
Chris: I thought it was a CHRIS page?! Thats what she said!
Julie: Hehe.. what?
Joey: She didn't tell me any of that.. how come it's not gonna be a Joey page?
Julie: 'Cuz nobody likes you.
Jen: Hey, I like him!
Everyone turns to stare.
Julie: Hi Jen.. did you bring the rifle like I asked?
All: WHAT RIFLE?!?!?
Jen: Yeah, I got it.
JC: Why do you need a rifle Julie?!?!?
Julie: Well, to KILL you with silly, duh!
Justin: KILL US?! But.. but.. you be lovin' me yo!
Julie: Yeah, true dat.. but still, you're gonna die someday anyway, right? Mind as well be now!
Lance begins to cry.
Lance: I don't wanna die.. I don't wanna die! I'm only 21!! MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jen stuffs a sock into his mouth.
Jen: Shut up, idiot!
Chris: Why are you guys doing this?
I stare at him again.
Julie: I forgot you were here. Now that you reminded me.. CANDICE!!!
Candice steps out from the shadows.
Candice: Whaddya want?
Julie: Chris is here.. don't you wanna like, talk to him before I kill him?
Candice: Oh yeah. Hi Chris, I love you.. I'll miss you when you're gone.
Chris: THATS IT?!?
Jen: Yeah, thats it. Candice is like, your only fan! Haha.
Candice: I wouldn't be talkin'! Joey only has like 4 fans.. including you!
Jen: At least he HAS 4!
Candice: Oh yeah?! Well I--
Julie: SHUT UP!!!! Jeezus.. I want to kill them now and I can't do this with you screaming!
Joey: You never said why you were doing this.
Julie: Did I say you could speak? No, I don't think I did.. but since you're about to die anyway, I'll let it slide. I'm doing this because.. well, uhh.. hmm.. Jen?
Julie: Why am I doing this again?
Jen: I forgot.
Julie: Candice.. do you remember?
Candice: Nah yo..
Julie: Oh, well, ok! We don't remember, but we'll figure it out later.
Justin: Julie, you love me! Please don't kill me! Take JC!
JC: WHAT?!? SHUT UP JUSTIN!!
Jen: You're all gonna die.. mind as well die together! Hehe!
All of a sudden, Nolen springs out from behind a chair.
Jen: What the hell?
Julie: Shut up Nolen! Jeez! Scare me half to death!
Nolen: You can't kill them Julie!
Julie: and why not?
Nolen: If they die.. so does our humor page!
Lance spits the sock out of his mouth.
Lance: You mean your LANCE page!
JC: JC PAGE!
Justin: JUSTIN PAGE!
Chris: CHRIS PAGE!
Joey: No one told me anything..
All: SHUT UP JOEY!!
Julie: Damnit you idiots! It wasn't gonna be ANY of your pages! It was staying a humor site! I just used that excuse to get your sorry asses here and I made it so Lance made sure you all showed up!!
Justin: This be all YOUR fault Lance!
Lance: WHAT?! NUH UH!
Nolen: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nolen: We can't kill them, or we're outta business.
Julie: Thats true..
Jen: *sigh* yeah..
Candice: You're right..
Julie: I don't like the way Joey's smiling at me..
I grab the rifle from Jen and shoot at Joey, missing his head by an inch.
Joey: HOLY SHIT!!!!!
Julie: That'll teach you not to smile at me. Bitch. I wanna kill them. Girls, grab a gun from my bag and get to shooting, and oh yeah, Nolen.. get me the revolver.
Nolen: Eh, ok.. I guess we could always start a BSB humor site.
The rest of the girls grab a gun and we form a line, pointing our guns at the NSYNC guys. We pull the triggers and... water comes spraying out.
Julie, Nolen, Jen, & Candice: APRIL FOOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!
JC: I knew you weren't really gonna kill us!
Lance: I wet myself..
Jen: God, were funny.
Julie: Oh yeah, we rule.
Nolen: Candice, go untie them.
Candice: My pleasure..
Candice unties the guys and they stand, glaring evilly at us.
Chris: That wasn't funny!
JC: You must pay..
Julie: Uh oh..
Jen: It was just a joke.. hehe.. no harm done..
Nolen: Aw shit.. we're dead..
Candice: I WANNA GO HOOOOOOOME!!!!
So yeah, thats the end. Oh, you wanna know what happened to us, eh? Well, it hurts me to describe it, but here goes.. JC stole my cell phone and called up none other than Howie D. After tying us up, Howie danced in front of us naked until we passed out from screaming. Candice, however, sat there the whole time whooping and hollering. You see, she is a Howie fan, so this did not effect her. As for the rest of us, we're still in therapy. APRIL FOOLS DAY SUCKS.