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Finding the courage

Aurora Williams
http://www.angelfire.comjournal2/writing4/

Clockwise88@aol.com

http://www.angelfire.comjournal2/writing4/
Clockwise88@aol.com

This is a story that was written by my aunt who asked me to put it onto my page.

Grandma was dying. Cammie thought that, out of respect for their mother, her parents, aunts, and uncles would be concerned for that more then anything else, but somehow her rapidly failing health only fueled the animosity among the children of Mabel Hawkins Smith.

It happened every time the aunts and uncles got together. The fighting, the bickering, the yelling. No wonder Cammie lately never finished a holiday meal. This time it was worse then ever. She did not merely go inside of herself she made a run for it.

Each child of Mabel Hawkins Smith wanted what she or he felt was his or her fare share of the will. And when you figured in the husbands of the daughters, it got even more unsettling.

Cammie had heard her parents talk about how angry they were that they could not see the will beforehand. Her parents talked about the will and not much else.

Lisa plopped the bowl of mashed potatoes in front of her sister knowing it would get Janet's goat.

"You're going to start aren't you?" said David.

"Start what?" said Lisa failing to sound remotely innocent.

"You know very well what."

"Janet, do you have to give into her?" Daevid Smith just wanted to eat his meal in peace just once. It looked like this would not be that time."

"I want to see that will just as much as you do. But because someone couldn't keep her nose out of things that didn't concern her-"

"That will," snarled Lisa, "concerns me as much as it does anyone else. I have just as much right to know what's going on as anyone."

"You got caught going through moms private papers. You don't remember when we were kids and she said she had x-ray sight and hearing. She wasn't kidding" taunted Jante.

"Yeah, so what?"

"So," Janet said pounding the table making everything shake, "Mom was still in her right mind and she saw what you did. It made her furious. So naturally she goes to the lawyer and asked him to hide it."

"Why are you two so upset?" David was the only one who didn't really care what was in it as long as he got something. He was aloof when it came to the family matters. He just happened to be one of the children and he felt he had to stand his ground.

Cammie, the oldest grandchild of Mabel Hawkins Smith and her younger sister Sara, lived in one of the properties the family was fighting about. Their cousin Pamela watched on in horror as she noticed her cousin's face tighten up.

The intensity of the anger had begun to echo inside Cammie's head. No one noticed that she had left a good portion of her meal on her plate. No one noticed much once the fighting started.

Cammie slid away from the table, the only one who saw her leave was her cousin Pamela. Pamela knew where Cammie was going.

Cammie ran into her room, tears pouring down her face. She saw the teddy bear her grandmother had given her for Christmas one year and hugged it. It was one of Cammie's most valued possessions. Today she needed her grandmother's comfort. Then she went to the secret hiding place in her bedroom closet where she his the key to her favorite place in the whole house. From her room she could still hear muffled voices harping at each other. Hiding here would be of little comfort.

Cammie ran down the hall as fast as she could. She slid the key into the lock and to her releif the door leading to the stairway opened with it's familiar squawk. Cammie pushed the door aside entering then silently closed the door.

The stairway was cold but that didn't matter to Cammie. She felt safe. Safe to think and feel as she needed to.

The stairway that had been deemed forbidden foro so many years was behind a door that opened up from the kitchen. If the stairway was to be put into use again, the make shift pantry that housed canned goods, spices, and small kitchen appliances would have to be torn down.

The stairway began behind a white tongue and groove door in the kitchen. To offset any curiosity about the stairway and where it lead, the pantry closet had been built. It was like it had been there forever.

The stairway itself wrapped around until it came to the landing on the second floor. Each step and riserwas made of a rich, dark wood that Cammie could not identify. The banisters were made of the same wood. The floral wallpaper was peeling and chuncks of plaster were missing.Tarnished wall sconces had not been used in years.

She sat on the third step hugging her teddy bear rocking back and forth. She was a sensitive child and so much of what had been going on bothered her greatly. The slow steady motion brought some comfort to the weeping girl.

Pamela knew where her cousin would be. Before she too headed up the stairs, she went into the kitchen and took out of the plastic containers keeping the desserts fresh, two brownies and two chocolate chip cookies each, wrapping them in paper towel. This would be food for their adventure.

Pamela knocked once, twice, counted to three then knocked again on the forbidden door indicating it was her. Not some prying adult who would only want to punish her. For some unexplained reason, this part of the house was off limits. The secrecy only added to their desire to go there.

Pamela put the wrapped sweets down so she could comfort her distraught cousin.

"Why do they do this all the time?" asked Cammie still sobbing.

"I don't know." Pamela was just as baffeled. "I'm glad Grandma isn't here to see this. She's better off in the nursing home. She'd flip if she knew this was going on."

"I wish they'd just stop. I want ot scream at all of them. They sound so stupid." Cammie still rocked.

"I know. I wish we could run away from all of this." Pamela said her arm still around her cousin's shoulders.

"It's so unfair. Don't they know what they're doing?"

"Maybe they know, but don't care." Pamela tried to sound philisophical for her twelve years.

"I guess so," said Cammie still rocking, hugging her bear.

"Do you ever put this stuff in your journal?" asked Pamela.

The cousins had started writing journals. Sometimes they would share what they wrote. Cammie's was mostly about Ben, a boy in her class whom she secretly liked. Ben was the cutest boy in the seventh grade.

"No, but I wonder if I should start. I mean if I wrote how I felt, would it make a difference once grandma is dead?I could always leave it hanging around dor Sara to find. I know she'd go running to mom and dad about it. I'm sure my mother wouldn't want me fighting with Sara over some stupid house."

"I know. They all feel entitled to it. I wich this house would burn down. Maybe then they'd stop."

"Yeah, but then they'd probably blame each other for the fire."

"I never thought of that." Cammie was still shaking.

"I should have brought Sara up here with me. She's too young to have to listne to all that downstairs. I'm sure it's too late to go get her now.""Maybe not. Maybe I can signal to her," said Pamela feeling strong and mighty.

"Would you try Pamela? Please?"

"I'll see what I can do." Pamela was always the adventerous type. She was not afraid to confront a room full of adults.

Fortunately or unfortunately the aunts and uncles were still going at it. Sara looked like a lost lamb amongst the hungry lions.

Pamela crouched down moving carefully under the table then pulled on Sara's sock. At first the girl was annoyed with her cousin for pulling at her, but then she finally got the idea. Sara slid away from the table following Pamela up the stairs down the hall to the door that led to the stairway.

Cammie liked to sit at her father's roll top desk. Soemtimes she'd pretend to be a schoolteacher, other times she was a newspaper woman writing a big story. She liked to think that one day she would own such a fine piece of furniture. What she liked most about the desk was the hidden places.

She thought she ahd found them all. To her disapointment she only found a few old, frayed checks. But one day accidentally her hand bumped a lever she never knew about under the center drawer.

In the hiding place was a key. It was an old looking key, nothing like the ones that were made now. One day when she was alone in the house she went to get the secret key. Cammie tried it on many different locks. When she found it opened the old panel door on the second floor by the stained glass window she was happy and shocked at the same time. She never knew this door was kept locked. Now she wondered why.

Using her wonderful imagination she thought that some old family secret must be hidden up there. Maybe some old deranged family member was being kept up there. But to Cammie's disappointment, all she found were three empty rooms.

Cammie wanted to enter a writing competition at school. She sat at the desk in her room but couldn't come up with one good idea. A pile of crumpled paper sat in her wastebasket. Somewhere in the back of her mind she remembered the secret key. She went to her father's desk and got the key out.

Cammie put the key in the lock and the door creaked liked crazy. She began to panic but then remembered she was home by herself. She was safe.

She sat in the stairway that rainy Saturday afternoon, letting her imagination run wild. Cammie sat with a pad and pen and wrote one if her best stories ever. It won her a prize in the English competition at school. EVer since then the forbidden stairway was her place.

Cammie never put the key back in the desk. First, for fear of getting caught putting it back. Second, she felt she would need it for many more times to come. Even though the stairway was dark and cold, she liked this place. It was like going away for a while. And today she needed to be far away.

On several occasions Cammie dreamed how she and Sara would share this house. Cammie dreamed of having the rooms on the third floor all to herself. This would be Cammie would live and she would hide away from all of the kids Sara was going to have.

The squeak of the door brought Cammie back from her reverie. She was relieved to see Pamela standing with Sara. Now Sara would know of her hiding place but that was okay. She knew she would have to be the one to protect her younger sister.

"I thought you forgot about me," said Sara shaking with fear.

"I almost did," said Cammie smoothing out her sisters auburn curls. "I'm sorry."

"Don't woory Sara no matter what happens I'll always be here for you. We have to promise never to fight over wills and things when we're adults. I don't think I could stand it."

"Cammie I promise," said Sara with a bewildered look on her face.

The three girls sat in the stairway for most of the afternoon. They knew they would have to leave the safety of the stairway sooner or later. It happened all the time.

Pamela's mother, Janet, would come looking for her because Aunt Lisa and Uncle Kevin and her father would be so angry at each other that they'd have to leave. Uncle david, Lisa and Janets brother, usually just left without saying a word.

While the adults still bickered downstairs the girls took the opportunity to play and imagining game.

"Where shall we go ladies," said Cammie. She was trying to shake off her fear.

"How about the south sea islands," said Pamlea.

"Oh that sounds far away," said Sara looking concerned.

"I is far away," said Cammie, "that the idea."

"Oh yeah. I forgot."

They pretneded to get into a boat and with their imaginary paddles, stroked their way to the South Sae Islands.

Just as they were about to pull up to shore, Sara asked, "Do they have ice cream here?"

"Oh Sara I don't know, maybe," Cammie said shaking her head, "You have only one thing on your brain."

"I can't help it. I like ice cream."

"Then I think we should have gone to Alaska. They must have ice cream there," said Pamela trying not to laugh at her cousin.

"Can we leave now and go to Alaska?" said Sara.

"Why don't we rest under a palm tree first," said Cammie in mock exhaustion.

"Okay but if I see and ice cream truck you better have some money."

The two older girls smiled at each other in disbeleif.

It took a lot of imagination to pretend they were on a sun-drenched beach with swaying palm trees and cooling breezes. The stairway was freezing. When this part of the house was locked up, the heat to the third floor was turned off.

The girls pretended to lie under the shade of a coconut tree, weariing flowing, brightly colored mou mous and sunglasses.

"Oh darling," said Cammie, "I do hope my rich husband Charles had everything ready for tonight. I dread the thought of lifting a finger."

Sara started laughing. "You don't lift a finger now why should you when we're pretending?"

"Shut up Sara. I do more then you do." said Cammie.

"Yeah but you always give mom a hard time."

Cammie hit Sara across the head making her shriek."Stop it. That hurt."

"Well, be quiet about mom and what I do or don't do."

"Don't do it again," cried Sara.

Thanx for coming and please continue to come back as I will add more to this story and make others.