Home By Lisa L. Woodard
Jim Cousins sat behind the wheel of his SUV, tapping his fingers with extreme impatience. His vehicle's height gave him the advantage of seeing about a quarter mile up the freeway, and he could plainly view the accident on the westbound side which stopped the flow of traffic on his eastbound side. He could see each of the cars in front of him inch up to the scene, nearly stop to see the extent of the damage, then with curiosity satisfied, finally speed up to an acceptable rate and continue their journeys. Of course, this acceptable rate was nowhere near the posted speed limit. This was the eastbound 91 freeway on a Friday afternoon, and blessed was the man who knew a side street route between work and his home. All the rest had to suffer two hours or more of bumper-to-bumper traffic and hope they made it home in time for supper.
Jim was one of the unfortunate individuals who took this freeway route between his office and home every Monday through Friday. He never enjoyed it, but this afternoon he was exceptionally anxious to get home. Earlier that day, while eating lunch with Anna, he decided it was time to tell her how hard it had been on him these past few months to maintain their relationship without his wife, Elizabeth, finding out. He explained how he once thought seeing a younger woman was just the thing he needed to pick up his spirits, but it turned out it was only making him feel worse. There was too much to lose if Elizabeth ever found out about the affair, so it was just better to call it off.
Anna didn't object. In fact, she didn't say much at all. She sat and stared at him for a moment, then she picked up her briefcase, pulled her jacket from the back of her chair and said, "Okay, if that's what you want." Then she stood up and left the coffee shop where they had rendezvoused almost every day for the past four months.
Jim watched her through the window as she approached her black convertible to leave. Her eyes were a little pink and puffy, but she seemed like she would be all right. Jim was rather pleased with how well it turned out. It was a clean break, and Elizabeth would never discover the affair. Starting now, he could continue his life as though nothing had ever happened.
However, his pleasure turned to anxiety when, about fifteen minutes ago, at a time when traffic was still moving at a steady yet sluggish pace, his cell phone rang. It was Anna.
"Okay, Asshole," she began without bothering to identify herself. "I didn't say anything at lunch today 'cause I didn't want everyone staring. But let me tell you--I am not just somebody's little tramp you can use to get through your mid-life crisis, then throw away when you don't need me anymore. You told me when we first got together you needed someone to be there for you. You said your wife was too old and tired to do it, and she meant nothing to you. And I, like an idiot, believed you.
"Now you're gonna sit there and tell me how special she is and how she's too good to lose. Well, I guess we're gonna find out if you meant that, 'cause I got your home number right here, and I'm telling her everything. Everything!" And without waiting for a response, she hung up the phone.
Jim tried to call her back several times, but all he got was her voice mail. Finally, out of desperation, he left a message saying, "Come on, Anna. We need to talk about this. Wherever you want to meet, you let me know. Just don't call the house, please. I'm sure we can work it out." But as he expected, she didn't call back. Now it became a race to get to the house before she placed that call. He knew the odds were stacked high against him, but still, he had to try.
It was more than half an hour later when he reached the front door of his home. He stood there for a moment, reluctant to face what was coming. He had spent his drive home planning how he would handle the situation and figured if Elizabeth didn't say anything to him when he got there, that meant she didn't know, and Anna was only bluffing. On the other hand, if she was angry with him, he would use this as an opportunity to address all the problems they were having with their marriage. He would address things like the way she had been so eager lately to point out his short-comings instead of praising him like she used to, or how she didn't seem as interested in his stories which used to be so cute and funny to her, or how she never dressed up for him anymore. All these things which used to make him feel so special when they were first married had been lost through the years. Who knows, if he played his cards right, he might even get her to apologize to him.
Jim walked into the house as though nothing had happened. He could hear Elizabeth in the kitchen preparing dinner. There was a time when she had it waiting for him when he came home, but those days were over. Within a moment, he heard her set whatever she was holding in her hand on the countertop and rinse her hands in the sink. With slow, deliberate footsteps, she left the kitchen to stand in the living room doorway while wiping her hands on a dishcloth. He noticed a couple of tears rolling down her cheeks, which she wiped away with the back of her hand. She never said a word to him. She just gave a small sniffle and continued to look him in the eye without flinching, waiting for him to speak.
Jim didn't know what to say. This was not the response he was expecting from a woman who was normally so outspoken. He was the first to break eye-contact when he looked down at the floor, cleared his throat, then began to speak.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean for it to go that far. It's just, Anna was so young and full of energy. And I missed that, you know. And when she started paying attention to me . . . I know it wasn't right. When I think of all the years we've spent together, the kids, our lives. It's just not right. I don't know what I was thinking. That's why I broke it off. You didn't deserve that. It'll never happen again, Liz, I promise. Just don't . . ." He couldn't bring himself to say anymore without shedding tears of his own. Instead, he turned around, walked out and locked himself in the bedroom.
Elizabeth watched after him in amazement. When she first came into the living room, she wondered why he was just standing there in front of the door, staring at her. She guessed it might be bad news, but nothing like this.
After a moment, she turned around and went back into the kitchen to finish dinner. She pulled a second onion out of the bag and started to peel it. Her short break had allowed her eyes to stop stinging, but now they were so sensitive, it didn't take much to get them watering again. She gave another sniffle and wiped another tear from her cheek with the back of her hand. She now had a serious problem to consider. Her husband was awful brave to come out and admit a mistake like that, but should she do the same?
She thought about the affair she had been carrying on for more than two years with his friend, Scott. It was going well overall, but she had also been feeling a little guilty about it. Maybe this was the opportunity she had been waiting for to end it. Since Jim was seeing someone also, maybe he would be a little more forgiving toward her. She picked up her cutting board and dumped the diced onion into the skillet on the stove. The decision before her was a difficult one but had to be made quickly, or the opportunity would be missed. If only she was as brave as Jim.
