May 25, 2002
Visitors to our National parks are hereby advised that the number of encounters between hikers and bears has increased in recent years.
When traveling to more remote areas, hikers are encouraged to attach noisemaking devices such as small bells to their clothing to alert bears to their presence, thereby avoiding confrontations between humans and startled bears. Hikers are also encouraged to carry pepper spray to act as a deterrent in the event of an unavoidable encounter with a bear.
Visitors are further encouraged to stay alert for fresh signs indicating the presence of bears in the area in which they are hiking. Hikers are especially encouraged to ensure that they can distinguish between the spoor of the common black bear and that of grizzlies. Black bear droppings are slightly larger than those of humans and frequently contain berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly droppings are much larger, often contain small bells and may have a faint odour of cayenne.
There?s a back story to this.
The e-mail I originally received had a version of this joke that was written in French. I wracked my brain and was able to piece together the meaning. Because it was a bit of a struggle, it took a while to get to the last sentence, but when I did, I just about fell off my chair. I was so amused by it that I spent the better part of half an hour in stitches putting together most of what you read above. Then I spent the rest of the day spluttering and giggling uncontrollably whenever I remembered the punch line. It doesn?t seem as funny to me as I read it now, but then I guess the last line no longer has the element of surprise.
That evening, for accuracy?s sake, I went on-line to get some idea about the relative sizes of black bear and grizzly spoor. After all, I wouldn?t want to be posting a joke about, for example, a certain type of train service and include a picture of the wrong style of engine. My google search did not provide me with that information on any of the first 3 or 4 pages of hits, but what it did lead me to were no fewer than a dozen English language websites that had variations on the joke that I had painstakingly translated. I like my version better, but it did provide a lesson in how pervasive the internet is, among other things?
Posted by Don Ferguson
at 2:09 PM EST
Updated: Tuesday, 4 January 2005 2:16 PM EST
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Updated: Tuesday, 4 January 2005 2:16 PM EST
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