Rating: PG Slash
Author: Me! Trina!
Summary: Inspired by "I Don't Know You Anymore" by Savage Garden
Jeff sat in his living room, it was the first time he'd bothered to come home in weeks, he hadn't been back since the wedding.
Home....I should be happy right? I wonder what Shan's up to... It's been forever. It's my fault, this whole thing. I didn't have to lose him completely. There could have been friendship...But just like our love I fucked that up too.
He sighed to himself, picked up the phone and thought about calling.
Even after all the shit I did, after the break up he still wanted to be friends. I couldn't get over him, over my own stupidity for cheating on him again and again, and losing him. I shut him out of my life completely...didn't count on the fact that I needed him.. Then there's Crystal....his wife, god the day Matt told me he was really going to marry this girl I nearly lost my mind.....but he's happy, anyone around him could see how happy she makes him. Happier then I ever did in all our years together. Still couldn't deal with it though, I'm selfish always have been that's why we ended, my needs, my wants. He finally got enough....then there was the wedding...he actually called and asked me to be his best man. I couldn't believe it, I told him no flat out. How could he asked that, didn't he know how I still felt about him? I should have got past my own pain and did that for him, worked on getting our friendship back. It's all we had left....It's all we have left. I'm not gonna let it go.
Jeff dialed Shannon's number, his hands shaking it had been so long since he even heard Shannon's voice.
I would like to visit you for a while
Get away and out of this city
Maybe I shouldn't have called but someone had to be
the first to break
We can go sit on your back porch
Relax
Talk about anything
It don't matter
I'll be courageous if you can pretend that you've forgiven me....
Because I don't know you anymore
I don't recognize this place
The picture frames have changed and so has your name
We don't talk much anymore
We keep running from the pain
But what I wouldn't give to see your face again......
It rang and picked up on the 4th ring.
"Shan....it's me Je"
"Jeff..." Shannon said cutting him off.
"Hey..what's up man.." Jeff said trying to keep his cool when he really felt like breaking down on the phone.
"Nothing much...it's good to hear from you...it's been awhile..."
"Yeah...I've been busy...or something..."
"Yeah I understand..."
"No..I haven't been busy Shan, I'm lying once again, I've been avoiding you...couldn't face you..couldn't do it any longer....I missed you.."
"I've missed you too Jeff, you're my best friend."
Springtime in the city
Always such relief from the winter freeze
The snow was more lonely than cold
If you know what I mean
Everyone's got an agenda, don't stop
Keep that chin up, you'll be all right
Can you believe what a year it's been
Are you still the same?
Has your opinion changed?
'Cause I don't know you anymore
I don't recognize this place
The picture frames have changed and so has your name
We don't talk much anymore
We keep running from these sentences
But what I wouldn't give to see your face again
"How have you been Shan, things good with Crystal?"
"Yeah, we're both happy, everyone was warning us on being too young and stuff...but you know when it's love....you know when it's right....and you'll do anything too keep it." Shannon said trailing off.
"Yeah, um..sorry about not taking your offer on the wedding...I didn't mean it as anything against the two of you, I hope you're happy together..."
I know I let you down
Again and again
I know I never really treated you right
I've paid the price
I'm still paying for it every day
"Jeff, it's cool....I know why you did what you did...I know why you haven't talked to or seen me in months, we all have our ways of dealing with stuff....you've always been one to shut down till you got stuff sorted out.....you forget how well I know you."
"True" Jeff laughed softly.
"Shan....could I....maybe come over and see you, I mean if I'm not interrupting or anything."
So maybe I shouldn't have called
Was it too soon to tell?
Oh what the hell
It doesn't really matter
How do you redefine something that never really had a name?
Has your opinion changed?
"Jeff, how can you even asked that....of course you can come over. And you're not interrupting, Crys is over at her moms house. Not that it would matter if she was here, she knows how much you mean to me."
Jeff smiled, Shan was truly one of the kindest most forgiving people in the world.
"Ok....see you in a bit then...."
They hung up, Jeff grabbed his keys and went out hopping in his car.
You can do this, you can just be friends, he told himself. Although he knew it wasn't true, knew he'd always love Shan as so much more then a friend.
Yeah right, maybe if I keep saying that I can fool myself. But I have to do this, I can't live without him, I need him in my life some how....it's all on me so I'll just have to deal.
He closed his eyes fighting back tears and took a deep breath. He started the car and took off, going much to fast of course. But he was dying to get to Shannon, to be around him.....see him, hear him...feel him, have him anyway he could, at this point he'd take what he could get.
He pulled into Shannon's drive way and stepped out the car. There was Shannon, standing on the front porch. Jeff bit his lip and slowly made his way up to him.
Because I don't know you anymore
I don't recognize this place
The picture frames have changed and so has your name
We don't talk much anymore
We keep running from the pain
But what I wouldn't give to see your face again
"Shan..."
"Jeff..." Shannon reached out wrapping both his arms around Jeff's waist hugging him tightly. They both sighed, a few tears running down their cheeks.
I see your face
I see your face.....
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