2. Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and the world laughs harder.
3. Don’t talk unless you can improve the silence.
4. The people who think they know everything are of great annoyance to those of us who do.
5. To the world you may just be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
6. No one is perfect. I am no one. Therefore, I am perfect.
7. If 80% of me is water then only 20% of me has to swim.
8. You’re just jealous because the little voices talk to me
9. Eagles may soar but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
10. You are only defined by the lives you touch. ~Jennifer Hill
11. The sooner you fall behind the longer you have to catch up
12. If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
13. Give a small boy a hammer and he will find that everything needs pounding
14. If I were two faced, would I be wearing this one? ~ Abraham Lincoln
15. I am only one. I cannot do everything. But I can do something. I will not refuse to do the something I can do. ~ Helen Keller
16. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
17.(S)He who laughs last thinks slowest.(Dasha!!!!!!!)
18. True generosity is in giving to one who will never know.
19. If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it. (Or you’re a little nutty)
20. Don’t think you are necessarily on the right track just because it is a well beaten path.
21. Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, but the realization of how much you already have.
22. A good test of people's character is their behavior when they are wrong.
23. Everyone is ignorant, only in different subjects
24. The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up
25. It is unreasonable to expect others to listen to your advice and ignore your example.
26. Nobody knows everything about anybody. ~ Jennifer Hill
27. If you never stumbled you'd never learn to walk more carefully.
28. There is no use wasting a $50 haircut on a 50 cent head
29. Life is a rope; whether we pull ourselves up or hang ourselves with it is our own choice. ~ Jennifer Hill
30. Democracy is the worst form of government . . . except for all the others.- Winston Churchill
31. Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. ~ Martin Luther King Jr.
32. One of life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.
33. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
34. Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
35. You don't stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing.
36. Character is what you are. Reputation is what people think you are.
37. Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
38. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were.
39. Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.
40. Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.
41. If you never look beyond the oyster’s shell, you shall never find the pearl.
42. I don’t need your attitude I have one of my own! - Carol Rochini
43. “Im not as think as u drunk I am! Of all the things I love lost I miss my mind the most!” also Carol
44. Listen to the voices in your head, they know what they’re talking about.
45. I’m not talking to myself, I’m just the only one listening.
46. Madness has it’s toll. Please use exact change.
47. Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk by again? (hahaha . . . i wish !!)
48. Do not count the distant star as an asset for its light may have run out millions of years ago.
49. Don’t think that you can keep on thinking that you think that I’m not thinking what you think I’m thinking
50. The two most important things in life are love and death. Love makes it wonderful and death makes it precious.
51. Sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones to help you get back up
52. Needing someone is like needing a parachute, if they aren't there the first time you need them chances are you won't be needing them again.
53. "Friendship is the greatest treasured gift anyone can give you. So if you have happened to find true friendship, do not abuse it, treasure it. For from friendship comes greater things... ~ Jolene Frunchak
54. Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.
55. Anger is only one letter short of danger.
56. If someone betrays you once, it is his fault; If he betrays you twice, it is your fault.
57. Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.
58. He who loses money, loses much; He who loses a friend, loses much more; He who loses faith, loses all.
59. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery. Today is a gift.
60. People often say that this or that person has not yet found themself. But the self is not something that one finds. It is something that one creates.
61. "The only real training for leadership is leadership." --Anthony Jay
62. The mind, once stretched by an idea, can never fully shrink to its original dimensions.
63. If you think you're too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito in the room.
64. Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared.
65. You can't have a better tomorrow if you are thinking about yesterday all the time. - Charles F. Kettering
67. The moment is passing; No matter how hard you try, you cannot bring it back.
68. Immature love says: I love you because I need you. Mature love says: I need you because I love you.
69. You can give without loving, but you can't love without giving.
70. Never deprive anyone of hope, it may be all they have.
71. The statistics on sanity are that 1 out of 5 Americans suffers from some form of mental illness. Look at your 5 best friends They look fine. What the hell do statistics know?
72. DID is a word of achievement, WON'T is a word of retreat, MIGHT is a word of bereavement, CAN'T is a word of defeat, OUGHT is a word of duty, TRY is a word of each hour, WILL is a word of beauty, CAN is a word of power.
73. Do not wish to be anything but what you are, and try to be that perfectly. -St. Francis De Sales
74. Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goals.
75. What does not kill us makes us stronger
76. We all mold each others dreams, we all hold each others fragile hopes in our hands, we all touch each other's hearts. (Referring to Bcs of the world)
77. Smile... it makes people wonder what you have been up to.
78. The greater the difficulty, the more glory in surmounting it.
79. Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs.
80. There is no such thing as a self-made man. You will reach your goals only with the help of others.
81. VICTORY is what happens when hours of TRAINING meet with ONE moment of OPPORTUNITY
82. You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
83. Attitudes are contagious, is yours worth catching?
84. The race is not always to the swift...but to those who keep on going.
85. The best way to predict the future is to create it.
86. You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.
87. Snowflakes are one of nature's most fragile things but just look at what they can do when they stick together.
88. Attitude is a little thing that makes a BIG difference.
89. “Earth is the universe’s insane asylum”
90. Shoot for the moon, even if you miss it you will land among the stars. - Les Brown
91. Some succeed because they are destined to, most succeed because they are determined to.
92. Excellence is the result of caring more than others think is wise; risking more than others think is safe. Dreaming more than others think is practical and expecting more than others think is possible.
93. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and holds the world together.
94. “A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."
95. "Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." - Kristian Wilson, Nintendo Inc, 1989 (no, night clubs are nothing like that)
96. Things change. That's alright, it's okay, it's part of life. People grow up and that's okay, but it just isn't fair when they grow away. - operation: cliff clavin
97. Whatever is, is. Whatever is not, is not. But, whatever is both is above all. ~ Jennifer Hill
98. If two people argue it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other; And if two people don’t, it doesn’t mean that they do.
99. “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all” - Thumper
100. A conclusion is only the place where you got tired of thinking.
101 Women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer.
102. Politics - from the words “poly,” meaning “many” and “ticks,” as in “small, sucking parasites”
103. I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
104. IRS slogan: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
105. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
106. God must love stupid people. He made so many.
107. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
108. Lottery : A tax on people who are bad at math.
109. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
110. Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
111. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
112. Tonight's weather: Dark with continued darkness until dawn.
113. If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
114. Why inflict pain on oneself, when so many others are ready to save us the trouble? -- George W. Pachaud
115. There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't.
114. How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
115. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
116. Black holes are where God divided by zero.
117. There's an exception to every rule, except this one.
118. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
119. Bureaucracy is the process through which energy is converted into solid waste.
120. "Dance your cares away. Worries for another day. Let the music play. Down at Fraggle Rock."
121. “You’re just talking until you think of something to say”
122. The amount of sleep required by the average person is about five minutes more. ~ Max Kauffmann
123. I’m not responsible; I’m just too lazy to do it later
124. Constipated people don’t give a shit.
125. Parents spend the first two years of our lives teaching us to walk and talk only to spend the remaining years trying to get us to shut up and sit down. Does this bother anyone else?
126. No, No, You’re not thinking, you’re just being logical
127. Not all those who wander are lost - J.R.R Tolkien
128. How come wrong numbers are never busy?
129. Do people in Australia call the rest of the world "up over"?
130. Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
131. Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?
132. Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
133. Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
134. Daylight savings time - why are they saving it and where do they keep it?
135. If you receive an insult, ignore it; if u can't ignore it, top it; if you can't top it, laugh at it; and if u can't laugh at it, then it's probably deserved.
136. There can't be a crisis today, my schedule is full!!!!
137. Do you ever stop to think and forget to start again?
138. Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things
139. If all the world’s a stage I want to operate the trap door.
140. Listen; you’ll hear more
141. I’m out of my mind - I’ll be back in 5 minutes
142. You can only be betrayed by those you trust ~ Terry Goodkind
143. What lies before us or behind us matters little compared to what lies within us
144. Reason is the first victim of strong emotion ~ Frank Herbert
145. If ignorance is bliss . . . . why are there so many unhappy people? (There should be some insanely happy people running around here)
146. Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but it doesn’t get you anywhere.
147. Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler." --Albert Einstein
148. Enemies are the price of honor ~ Terry Goodkind
149. Everything is okay in the end. If it’s not okay, then it’s not the end.
150."The finest amusements are the most pointless ones." – Jacques Chardonnes
151. True religion is love -- true love. The church, the altar, the minister, the garments, the form, are simply that. Where there is love, true love, there is God. And where God is, is life. And it's that which we worship. ~ Saint Gernmain
152. "Live so that your friends can defend you, but never have to." -Arnold Glasow
153. “How much pain they have cost us, the evils which have never happened." --Thomas Jefferson
154. "Friendship is a plant which must be often watered."--Anon.
155. One cannot manage too many affairs: like pumpkins in the water, one pops up while you try to hold down the other." --Chinese proverb
156. "In Mexico we have a word for sushi: bait."--Jose Simon
157. "Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your way."--Daniele Vare
158. “Striving for success without hard work is like trying to harvest where you haven't planted."--David Bly
159. "Two farmers each claimed to own a certain cow. While one pulled on its head and the other pulled on its tail, the cow was milked by a lawyer."--Jewish parable
160. "The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism."--Norman Vincent Peale
161. "Your three best doctors are faith, time, and patience."--fortune cookie
162. "Happiness is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to cope with it."
163. "Fear is the father of courage and the mother of safety."--Henry H. Tweedy
164. "To do all that one is able to do is to be a man; to do all that one would like to do is to be a god."--Napoleon
165. Stress balls only relieve stress if you can throw them at the person who is causing you stress.
166. I live in my own little world, but it's OK, they know me here.
167."While they were saying among themselves it cannot be done, it was done."--Helen Keller
168. "Alanis Morrisette's voice reminds me of a choir of midgets" ~ Justin Hill
169. You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you cuz you're all the same!
170. Be yourself because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.
171. Found in a fortune cookie: "You are a poor, pathetic, gullible fool who seeks advice from bakery products."
172. "Give me control over he who shapes the music of a nation, and I care not who makes the laws" ~ Napoleon
173. By the time we have the answers, we'll have kids who won't listen to them.
174. You can't make footprints in the sands of time by sitting on your butt. And who wants to leave buttprints in the sands of time?
175. People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care
176. Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first -- Mark Twain
177. I always wanted to be somebody. But I should have been more specific. ~ Lily Tomlin, actress
178. We shape our habits; then they shape us
179. If you believe everything you read, you better not read. – Japanese proverb
180. A person needs to be loved the most when he deserves to be loved the least.
181. Redundancy Department of Redundancy
182. There should be a special place in hell for the people who make these signs. ~ my dad (while lost in Baltimore)
183. The trouble with life in the fast lane is that you get to the other end in an awful hurry. --John Jensen
184. It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
185. The purpose of life is a life of purpose." --Robert Byrne
186. "Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine." --Robert C. Gallagher
187. "People may not remember what you do . . . people may not remember what you say . . . but people always remember the way you made them FEEL."
188. When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving me advice, you have not done what I asked. When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn't feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings. When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem, you have failed me, strange as that may seem. Listen! All I ask is that you listen. Don't talk or do - just hear me.
189. It's not a cry for help; it's a scream.
190. One good teacher outweighs a ton of books ~ Chinese Proverb
191. "Television is an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your home." - David Frost
192. Remember: amatures built the ark; professionals built the titantic.
193. "It's hard on a face when it gets laughed in." ~ Charlie Brown
194. "Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
196. "If dracula can't see his reflection in the mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?" -Steven Wright
197. "The highest reward for a person's toil is not what they get for it, but what they become by it." -John Ruskin
198. God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.
199. He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away. -Raymond Hull
200. If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing. -Anatole France
201. For in the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. ~ Martin Luther King Jr.
202. The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his. - George Smith Paton(1885-1945, United States military general)
203. "A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs—jolted by every pebble in the road." - Henry Ward Beecher
204. "Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood." -Mary Hirsch
205. Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.
206. "Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute." -Josh Billings
207. If at first you don't succeed, you're about average - MAD magazine
208. 2000 years ago, Egyptians worshipped cats as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.
209. If you can't laugh at yourself, someone else is going to do it for you, and you're not going to enjoy it nearly as much.
210. Those trying to explain pictures are, as a rule, completely mistaken. - Pablo Picasso
211. "It is better to keep one's mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt." -Abraham Lincoln
212. You can lead a fool to wisdom but you can't make him think.
213. A ship in the harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.
214. A closed mouth gathers no feet.
215. A peacock who sits on his tail is just another turkey
216. If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principle difference between a dog and a man.
217. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
218. "Say you were standing with one foot in the oven and one foot in an ice bucket. According to the percentage people, you should be perfectly comfortable." - Baseball manager Bobby Bragan
219. Be open-minded, but not so open-minded that your brains fall out. ~ Stephen A. Kallis, Jr.
220. The price of wisdom is nothing compared to the cost of ignorance.
221. If you had prepared yesterday for today, you'd be ready by tomorrow.
222. A woman always has the last word in an argument. Anything the man says after that is to be considered the beginning of a new argument.
223. Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.
224. Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't. - Erica Jong
225. Those who respect laws and love sausages should watch neither being made ~ Mark Twain
226. The early bird may catch the worm, but you can order pizza until midnight.
227.The United States Bill of Rights guarantees certain freedoms. Not certain "free stuffs".
228. Everything I want to be is hidden beneath a layer of fat.
229. Found in my fourtune cookie in Chicago: "Learn Chinese. Good Luck"
230. I never said it would be easy, only that it would be worth it. - Rev. Sun Myung Moon
231. The road to darkness is a journey, not a light switch.
232. Be sure brain is loaded before shooting mouth off.
233. Why try to fit in if you were made to stand out?
234. Not everything has to be black and white . . . cuz you know there are asian people too.
235. There are 3 kinds of people: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who wonder what happened.
236. Nothing in the world can take the place of persistance. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistance and determination alone are omnipotent. ~ Calvin Coolage
237. Who decided that jeans are casual clothes? Seems like a random decision to me. - Scott Adams
238. The ten commandments are not multiple choice - God (seen on a billboard)
239. What you take is yours for now, what you give is yours forever.
240. "I've got a long way to go, but I'll never give up, so I'll get there." - Jennifer Hill
241."You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the US of arrogance, and Germany doesn't want to go to war." - Chris Rock
242. Heck is for people who don't believe in Gosh.
243. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world - Ghandi
244. I love the light for it shows me the way, yet I'll endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.
245. I'm like a rubix cube. I make perfect sense. If only you could put me together.
246. All that is needed for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.
247. People complain because roses have thorns, but we should rejoice because thorns have roses.
248. God loves us the way we are, but too much to leave us that way.
249. The worst thing a guy can do is let a girl fall in love when he does not intend to catch her.
250. Life is like a bubble bath - the longer you stay in it, the more wrinkly you get.
251. Depression is anger without enthusiasm.
252. I'm never wrong. I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken.
253. "That old law about an eye for an eye leaves everyone blind." ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.
254. "Wise men talk because they have something to say: Fools, because they have to say something." - Plato
255. "Oh how the world dearly loves a cage." - Maude from "Harold and Maude"
256. Imagination has always had powers of resurrection that no science can match. - Ingrid Bengis
257. Babies! What a wonderful way to start people!
258. When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in the end and hang on!
259. "Real confidence comes from knowing and accepting yourself - your strengths and your limitations" - Judith M. Bardwick
260. If you have knowledge, let others light their candles by it.
261. The greatest pleasures of reading consist in re-reading. ~ Vernon Lee
262. Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles. It empties today of its strength.
263. Music comes first from my heart, and then goes upstairs to my head where I check it out. - Robert Flack
264. Every smile makes you a day younger. - Chinese Proverb
265. If you pray for rain, be prepared to deal with some mud.
266. "I am sure there is Magic in everything . . . " Frances Hodgon Burnett
267. We love because it's the only true adventure. - Nikki Giovanni
268. Why not go out on a limb? That's where the fruit is.
269. "All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain . . ." ~ Rutger Hauer as Roy Batty, Blade Runner, 1982
270. "I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
271. "I know God will not give me anything i can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much." -Mother Teresa
272. This is my depressed stance. When you're depressed, it makes a lot of difference how you stand. The worse thing you can do is straighten up and hold your head high because then you'll start to feel better. If you're going to get any joy out of being depressed, you've got to stand like this.
273. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
274. This life must be a test. If it were the real thing, we would have been given better instructions.
275. You'll always be my friend - you know too much!
276. Men have 3 basic hairstyles - parted, unparted, and departed.
277. Resentment is like taking poison, and waiting for your opposition to die.
278. Never argue with an idiot. They'll drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
279. In life we must choose between the pain of discipline or of regret. Make your choice.
280. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
281. The hardest lesson in life to learn: which bridges to cross, which to burn.
282. Growing old is inevitable; growing up is optional.
283. Fortune does not change men, it unmasks them. -Suzanne Necker
284. Obesessed is just what the lazy call the dedicated.
285. Those who know how to win are much more numerous than those who know how to make proper use of their victories. -Polybius, historian (c. 205-123 BCE)
286. We in America do not have government by the majority. We have government by the majority who participate. -Thomas Jefferson
287. Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like. -Will Rogers
288. If you have the same ideas as everybody else but have them one week earlier than everyone else then you will be hailed as a visionary. But if you have them five years earlier you will be named a lunatic. -Barry Jones
289. Kindness is always within our power, even when fondness is not.
290. It doesn't matter how beautiful your theory is, it doesn't matter how smart you are. If it doesn't agree with experiment, it's wrong. -Richard Feynman, Psysicist
291. It is an ironic habit of human beings to run faster when we have lost our way. -Rollo May
292. Rudeness is a weak imitation of strength. -Eric Hoffer
293. Almost all our faults are more pardonable than the methods we resort to to hide them.
294. God gives every bird his worm, but he does not throw it into the nest. -Swedish proverb
295. Science is built with facts as a house is with stones--but a collection of facts is no more a science than a heap of stones is a house. -Jules HenriPoincare (1854-1912
296. It is not life and wealth and power that enslave men, but the cleaving tolife and wealth and power. -Buddha (c. 563-483 BCE)
297. If you're a nerdy girl, "the odds are good but the goods are odd". ~ xkcd
298. Politeness is the art of choosing among your thoughts. -Madame de Stael
299. People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.
300. Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying 'I will try again tomorrow.'
301. Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.
