Potatoes


You are barricaded in a basement during a zombie apocalypse with nothing to eat but a bag of moldy potatoes. You and Janice have been hiding out here for a week now. Your cellphone no longer works. You can't charge it because the electricity is out. It's been that way since last night. The hurricane lamp is running out of fuel and pretty soon you'll be in total darkness. Not that it matters. Everyone you know and love, save for Janice, has been killed by zombies. Their brains devoured. The last time you were able to phone the police all you could hear on the other end were blood curdling screams and the sound of skulls being cracked open. The officers didn't even have time to fire.

Janice is really starting to get on your nerves. She keeps complaining about the food and hasn't eaten in two days. The hunger is starting to get to her. But you know better. If you have to eat raw, moldy potatoes to stay alive, you will. And if Janice isn't going to eat her share... Well more for you, right?

You've been fiddling with the radio, trying to pick up a signal. You have no idea how long the batteries will hold out. But all you can do is keep trying. You don't want to miss any breaking news reports about the situation being under control. After all, it's always possible. You can't give up on the hope that you will survive.

Janice however has long since given up hope. She's crying again. You are starting to really get a headache from her constant bawling. Why won't she shut up? You tell her to shut up but she still keeps crying. Now your headache is turning into a migraine. What did you ever see in her anyway?

She's crying about how hungry she is. Doesn't see she the bag of potatoes right in front of her? Now you aren't just annoyed. You are seriously pissed. You grab a potato from the bag. It's wet and slimy with mold. You shove it into Janice's hand and she screams, throwing it against the wall.

You've had just about enough of this. Rising to your feet you grab a shovel that was resting against the wall. You then proceed to bash Janice's head in. She screams and screams. But that only makes you angrier. Then finally she stops. You look down and notice that her brains are splattered all over the floor. They sure look tasty...

As you kneel down to feast on them the radio crackles. It seems as if they've found the source of this madness. A strange mold has infected potato crops worldwide. It causes delusions, paranoia and fits of violent rage. It also causes an unquenchable thirst for human brains.

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