A Nightmare Worse Than Hell?

"Wha" Where am I?" he said in a groggy tone. Whever he was it was too bright and too quiet.

Before he had a chance to look around and get his bearings someone grabbed him. It was Reno! o.o
"Wake up! You're gonna get me in trouble if you're late. We have to get on that helicoptor to Wutai right now!"

"Huh? What the hell? Wutai?"

"Yeah! That stupid mountain town with that great bar. I think Tseng's from there or something. So Elena's all hopped up over it. She's gonna talk our ears off. Plus she also won't shut up about how she isn't the newbie anymore since you joined up," Reno answered.

Joe didn't know what to say. He didn't even remember joining the Turks. "I'm a Turk?" He thought. "The hell..."
Just then he glanced into the mirror. "OMG! I look so cool!" Joe blurted out.

Reno just ignored him and grabbed his arm. Soon they were in the helicopter.
Tseng, Elena and rude were already aboard. Tseng was tiredly looking through papers. He looked up at Joe and began to talk.

"Joe is it?" Tseng began. " Let me debrief you on our mission. It seems that Don Corneo did indeed survive that fall off of Da-Chao statue. He must have grabbed onto a ledge or something. He's got some dangerous info on Shinra and we have to take him out. Again..."

For a second Joe didn't no what to say. Because he was suddenly aware that he had no idea how he had gotten here or when he had applied to become a Turk. But before he could say anything the helicoptor suddenly landed.

"That was awfully quick...," He said, looking out the window at... Dun Loireag?

"Ah...," Reno sighed, stretching as he stepped out of the helicoptor. "Dun Loireag. I love this town!"

"Me too!" Elena said. "Hey, Sanjuro isn't this where you're from?"

"Sanjuro?" Joe asked. surprised. "Wait a minute... where's Tseng?"

"Who's Tseng?" Rude asked quietly, ajusting his sunglasses.

"You know, the leader of the Turks," Joe replied.

"Umm... Everybody knows that Sanjuro is the leader of the Turks, "Elena replied shaking her head. "Isn't that right, Drakarn?"

"Dra-Drakarn?!" Joe exclaimed.

"Yeah. That's right. Drakarn! Got a problem with that!?" The dragon demon yelled. Right onto poor Joe's ear.
"But weren't you just Reno a second ago?"

"Who the hell is Reno?! I'm Drakarn. What are you blind or something?" Drakarn yelled. He was really mad too. And everyone had taken a few steps back away from him. Just incase.

"I'm Dizzy...," Joe said, relling back. Sanjuro had to catch him to keep him from falling.

"Maybe he better stay behind...," Sanjuro said. He doesn't look good does he Laharl?"

"Laharl?" Joe said looking up. Sure enough standing in Rude's place was Laharl. And in Elena's place was now... Tia! o.o

"Hi Joe!" Tia chimed happily.

Umm... "Hi Tia!" Joe responded. "Umm... Might I ask you what the hell is going on here?"

"Well...," Tia began. But she was stopped short by a heavy rumbling. The earth began to shake and the ground cracked and divided.

"Oh my god! It's Don Cubia!" Sanjuro cried, readying his sword.

"Who the hell is that?" Joe asked. He was getting mad. This was insane.

"Don Cubia is only the most powerfull man in Dun Loireag! And he's huge!" Laharl said. "But not as powerfull as me. After all I'm the OVERLORD!!!!!!!! *maniacle laughter*

And while he was laughing Don Cubia grabbed and swallowed him. It was quite creepy since you could still hear his laughter in Don Cubia's fat ugly belly.

"You're next!" Drakarn said to Joe.

"Wha?"

"We have to feed you to Don Cubia. His royal highness Cait Sith commands it. All hail Cait Sith. Lord of the rings and lord of the flies!" Drakarn chanted.

Just then Cait Sith came out and tossed Joe into Don Cubia's mouth. Poor Joe went flying into it like a sack of Joe flavored potato chips.
As he went down Don Cubia's endless esophagus, Joe was vauguely aware that he had sprouted cat ears and a cat tail.

Then everything went black.

"Wake the hell up pointy ears!!!!" A familiar voice screamed. We're playing Candy Land not "Go to Sleep You Stupid Elf Land"!!!!

"What? Oh no...," Joe sighed. "How did I end up here again?"

"What do you mean by "again" elfy? You've been drooling away in dreamland for half an hour. I waited around for you to wake up but of course you didn't. so I took the liberty of taking three extra turns before waking your lazy ass up."

"So that means we're still in hell?" Joe sighed.

"Damn straight! Now pick a card elfy!"

"Oh I just know Tia's behind all of this...," Joe thought as he resumed his game of Candy Land with Drakarn. "I just know it." -_-

~~~
Meanwhile at Tia's castle o' doom...

"Well I guess it's not such a good idea to press random buttons n the inter-dimensional dream-o-matic 5000..."

Frederick: "I just hope you didn't cause too much damage this time. Hey, by the way... Where's Joe?"

Oops... Umm... Didn't I sorta leave him in hell by accident once... Or something. Uhh... hey! I think I hear the phone ringing! >>

*zoom*

Frederick: *sigh*

THE END! o.o

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