Interview With The Grasshopper
Penguin: "Hey, wanna meet Greg?" Adrastia: "Greg?" P: "Yeah!" A: "Who's he, your imaginary friend? " P: "I'll show you!" P: "No, he's my lab partner in biology!" P: *runs somewhere* *comes back* P: "Ok tia, and now meet Greg!" *pulls out a giant dead grasshopper drowned in fluid in a jar* A: "Um............. hi Greg." P: "He only speaks Greg language." A: "Greg language?" P: "It's a form of telekinesis." A: "Uh.......so how do I learn it?" P: "Hmmmmm...." P: "You have to concentrate really hard and put yourself in Greg's skin." A: "Ewww! No, I think I'll pass." P: "Well just concentrate hard." A: *concentrates hard* P: "Can you hear him in your thoughts?" A: "I think........." Greg: "Hello?" A: "Hi, so you are Greg? A giant dead grasshopper, wow!" G: "Um......yeah" P: "Shut up Greg, she's just trying to meet you!" A: "So how are you Greg?" G: "She's a human though." P: "well so am I." G: "But you're different. You're my lab partner." P: "So, she's just like me." G: "Oh! I am just fine." G: "Just sitting here in my jar. Drowning in fluid." A: "So Greg, how'd ya get in that jar?" G: Well see I died and some scientist put me in here so I could be studied." A: "And are you to be disected? Is penguin going to pull out your guts?" P: "Yuck! Of course I'm not!" G: "No one is going near my guts cause I'm Greg! The best grasshopper in the world!" P: "I'd say something but it's true." A: "Why are you the best grasshopper? What makes you best?" G: "Oops, I zoned out there. What makes me the best?!? I'm da king of grasshoppers! Look at me, I'm huge and I can talk in my own form of language!" A:"I'm gonna go. Bring Greg over next time ok?" P: "All right." G: "I'll be there!" Later on that very evening........... A: "I wanna interview Greg." P: "Ok, let me see..... OK!" G: "What'da ya want?" P: "Greg, just answer her questions." G: "Why should I?" P: "Cause if you don't there will be hell to pay!" A: "Well I'd like to ask you some questions to get a better insight on your life." G: *gulp* "Ok." A: "My my, isn't Greg the smarmy one!" G: "Well doll ask away!" A: "Ok now Greg, tell me about your childhood. Where were you born?" G: "Well I was born a grasshopper. Now see I was pretty big. But my life was just jump and eat grass. And then my mom died." A: "Aww........ I'm so sorry to hear that. What happened, if you don't mind me asking?" G: "Well *gulp* she was walking with me one day, and then a bastard human stepped on her! I never liked humans ever since!" A: "Oh, I'm so sorry, that must of been really hard on you to see that happen. But not all humans are bad. And I'm sure no one meant to step on your mom." G: "The one that stepped on my mom was the one that jarred me!" A: "Oh my, now that is bad! And just how did penguin come accross you?" G: "Well, see me and my friends (the other dead animals in jars) were sitting on a table because penguin and his classmates were studying animals... So penguin decided to pick me to be his lab partner over all the others." P: "Don't forget I also picked the lizard and turtle Greg." A: "So now you are being studied by penguin?" G: "Ewwwwwww.... No way!" P: "No I'm studying other things. Like lbp. Hehehehehehehehehehe!" A: "oh........ So Greg, what's it like being a dead bug in a jar?" G: "It's hard to explain. It's like you can't feel and you keep thinking your going to die but that's impossible." A: "Because you are already dead?" G:" Well I'm not really dead. I'm kind of like a zombie. See, the scientist put me in this chemical which deformed me." A: "How are you deformed?" G: "Well I'm dead but yet not dead and I have a giant size and I can shoot lasers." A: "You shoot lasers? Wow! I'm impressed!" P: "Oh no! This could be bad..." G: *jumps out of jar and shoots lasers at Tia* *lasors stab through Tia* A: "Eek! Carefull there Greg!" P: *buries head in hands* A: "It's ok." A: "So Greg, I guess being a dead bug in a jar of fluid really impairs your social life huh?" G: "You stupid immortal human why won't you die?!?" *continues to shoot lasers at Tia* A: "AHHHHHH! Please! Stop!" G: "Not until you die!" P: "I knew this was going to happen..." A: "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" G: *continues to shoot lasers through Tia* A: "Please! Penguin! Stop him!" P: *jumps at Greg* A: "Um........Greg?" G: *jumps away from penguin* A: "Ijust noticed something...." G: *jumps on Tia's shoulder* A: "Your lasers do no damage. Um....... Why are you on my shoulder?!" G: "OH YEAH?!?" *shoots lasers through Tia's head* A: "Uh...... Nope, just a light show." G: *looks down* P: "Oh no Greg don't! DON'T!" A: "You don't have any power at all." G: *crawls down tia* A: "What's happening?!" P: "Oh no..." A: "Ahhhh! Get it off! Get it off!" G: *sits on Tia's stomach* "I'm going in!" A: "Um....... Penguin! get it off!" P: "Oh you can't be serious!" *pounces at Greg* G: *jumps off Tia* A: "AHHHHH!" P: *lands on top of Tia* "Ugh..." A: "Huh!? Thank you... But, where's Greg?" P: "I don't know!" G: "here I am!" *jumps down from the ceiling and lands on Tia's stomach* A: "Get rid of him! He's evil! AHHHHH!" G: *goes inside Tia* P: "Oh no!" A: "AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" G: *goes up into Tia's brain* A: "Get him out!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhh!" G: *controls Tia* A: "Must kill humans! MUST! *fires lasers at penguin* P: "Ah jeez, I knew this was going to happen... Wait! Greg would never hurt me!" A: "MUST KILL! KILL! KILL! KILL!" P: "OK, I gotta get Greg out!" A: "AHHHHHHH! KILL! AHHHHHHHH!" P: "I hope Tia forgives me for doing this..." *breaks tia's head open* A: "HEEEEELP! GET HIM OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" P: *takes greg out* "Bad Greg! Bad bad bad! A: *falls to floor* P: *puts Greg into jar* G: "Oh no...." A: *lays there in bad need of medical help* P: "Ok Greg, now go to sleep and I don't want to see you until morning! Tia are you all right?" *rushes to Tia's side* A: *is unconcious* *needs an ambulance* P: *calls an ambulance* *goes to hospital with Tia* A: *is hanging on by a mere thread* P: *waits in waiting room* "Oh Tia please be all right!" *doctors rush to save her* Doctor: "She's ok, you may see her now." P: "All right!" *runs in to where Tia is* A: "Pen.......guin? Is that you?" P: "Yes it's me." A: "What happened? Where's Greg?" P: "Oh that grasshopper is gonna get it..." A: "Ugh........" P: "He possessed you and you had an accident. Just rest now." A: "Ok........" P: *sits by Tia's bed side* G: "Oh man, looks like she got it bad" A: "Greg.........is........evil........." P: "Shut up Greg, you caused enough trouble tonight" A: "Ahhhh! He's here! He's here!!!!!!!!!!" P: "Here's your punishment!" *shakes jar vigorously* A: "GET HIM OUT!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHH!" G: "Ugh ugh ugh! Stop!" P: "Tia, shhhhhhhhh it's ok....... Just relax. You really crossed the line this time Greg!" A: "Why Greg? Why?" P: *continues to shake the jar hard* G: "I told you already, I hate humans! I want revenge on them!" A: "But I didn't do anything!" G: "I thought I might be able to use you!" A: "You- you fiend! And after I was so nice to you!" G: "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ain't life a bitch?" A: "See? He's evil! Get him out penguin!" P: "Yeah I know. Ok ok....." *throws Greg out the window* G: "This isn't the last of meeeeeeeeee!" A: "Ahh......... the world is safe.........for now!" P: "Yes he's gone. Kinda...." G: "I'm not gone, I'm just hurt!" P: "SHUT UP GREG!"
Is that the end? Is it really over? Is the world finally safe from Greg's evil, twisted plot to destroy mankind?
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