A Short Story by Valre
It was a beautiful day in Fresno. The sun was shining and it was not to hot.
Lately it had been 95 to 103 degrees every day, but today it had cooled down to 85 and it was nice to be able to leave the air conditioner off and breathe fresh air for a change. At Katie and Mikes age the hot weather really knocked them out. Mike was 83 and Katie was 78, although you would never guess it. She looked more like 65 and had the physical stamina of a 55 year old.
Mike and Katie were in their motor home about to arrive at their granddaughter Samantha’s house. They are going on a weeks fishing trip to a camp ground in the Mt. Shasta area of California. They are talking about little things. Things like, did you lock the back door? Did you tell the paper boy we'd be gone? "Yes Mike I locked the door. I told the paper boy to leave the papers at Henry's”.
A few minutes later the motorhome is just rounding the corner of the block Samantha lives on. They were going to drop off the keys to their house so Sam can water their plants while they're gone and pick any vegetables from the garden that may get ripe. As they pull up Sam and her two little boys came out of their house to meet them. They hugged and kiss and everybody was talking all at once. After the initial greeting Katie gave Sam instructions on how to water the plants. They were in a hurry to get started on the road so with lots of hugs and kisses and Sam telling them to be careful and to have a good time, Katie and Mike got into the motor home and left with waves of good by all around.
Katie was driving and Mike is sitting in the passenger seat. It has been that way for the last several years. Katie remembers all the trips they took over their 60 years together and how Mike always insisted on driving. She was always a little uncomfortable with his driving because he spent more time looking for deer on the side of the road than watching where he was driving, or so it seemed to her.
Time passed quickly for the several hours that they have been on the road. They had stopped only once for gas and something to eat at their favorite Denny’s Restaurant. Mike is looking out the window for deer as always and Katie is lost in her own thoughts. She is thinking of things that most women of her generation think about. Her kids and her grandchildren. They're various problems. Her hopes and dreams for them and her fears. Occasionally the two talk about the scenery or their garden or small things that people who have been together for a lifetime talk about. They're comfortable together. They each know by instinct what the other is thinking about. Or so it seems. Finally they reach the area where they are going to camp. They pay for their campsite and they set up camp. By now they are both pretty tired it's been a long day. They eat a small repast of french bread and cheese, salami, and peaches, and finish it off with instant decaf and hard Italian cookies dunked into the coffee. One of Mikes favorite treats. They put up the food and clean up the small motor home kitchen and begin to prepare for bed.
Mike is missing one leg. He lost it in an accident many years ago. As he removes his wooden leg and goes through the ritual of preparing his stump for sleep he asks Katie to hand him the lotion, which he rubs on his stump. "Katherine give me the lotion from the table". She stops half way through the buttons on her nightgown and leans over, picks up the lotion, turns and hands it to Mike. He could have reached it but this is a ritual that has become a regular part of their getting ready for bed. There is no noticeable reaction from Katie. Later as she is trying to fall asleep she thinks about how much she will miss this nightly ritual when he is gone. She thinks about how much these rituals have become a part of their life and how she won't only loose him but all that went with him. What do we do with all that unfilled time of lost familiarity she wonders sadly.
Mike finishes and gets into bed. Katie gets into bed and just as she is about to turn off the lamp she says "Mike did you lock the door"? He replies in a familiarly impatient voice "Yes, Katherine I locked the door". She turned off the lights and thus ends the first day of their trip with both of them slipping into sleep.
After breakfast they decided to go for a short walk. Since Mike lost his leg he was careful where he walked and it caused him pain in his stump if he walked for to long. Not like in the old days when he'd go hunting and no one could keep up with him. Katie could remember when they were younger and they'd walk through the mountains with their dogs and their oldest son Tony, chasing after a deer. All of them in hot pursuit. The dogs howling in the way that they howl when they are on the trail of a deer and the deer are close. Tony would be close behind Mike and Katie could remember being frightened that she was going to lose sight of them and not be able to find her way out of the woods. She always had a slight suspicion that at those times the deer were uppermost in the minds of her husband as well as her son, and if she should get misplaced her absence wouldn't be noticed until after the deer was dead, hung, and dressed out.
Katie wonders how long ago she started calling him Mike instead of Miguel. I suppose it was when the kids started school or after he had been working at the restaurant for a while. It seemed everyone there called him Mike and it caught on as a nickname. Perhaps it was just that most people felt more comfortable with a more common sounding name. In her heart he was always Miguel and she always felt a slight uncomfortableness when she called him Mike.
Today though they walked alone together along a trail that ran along side the lake. It was quite a beautiful morning. The pine trees were tall and green and the lake was blue and clear. The light on the lake was soft and subtle unlike the bright sun that reflects the leaves onto the mirrored water during the heat of the day. The air smelled of morning. That smell that brings to mind wet leaves, deer stirring, birds feeding their young, and campfires getting ready for the first cup of coffee. They could hear the rustling of leaves off to the side of the trail. Perhaps some animal was awakened by their presence.
Katie wondered what Mike was thinking about. Seems she spent a great deal of her life wondering what he was thinking about, as he was not very conversational. After a while they came to a place where a tree had fallen. Mike walked slowly toward it and Katie noticed that he seemed to be moving more carefully than usual. He sat down and Katie walked up and sat beside him. It was so peaceful here. It had been quite sometime since the two of them had been alone like this. They usually took these trips with other couples, and at home they spent most of their time watching the television. Their lives at home had become pretty routine the last few months. Mike seemed to spend more and more time in the house. Katie had her usual card night with the girls, but it seemed to her that the two of them had slowed up quite a bit recently. She knew Mike hadn't been feeling well, but he didn't want to talk about it and going to any more doctors was out of the question. He had just had it with doctors. The other day she heard him telling Sam that he was feeling kind of tired and that it seemed as though his body had just gotten to old for his mind lately.
"Well, Mike shall we start back", she said. "Yes”, he said “maybe we can get in some fishing after lunch".
Now back at camp, lunch had come and gone. “Want to do a little fishing Mike? I think I'd like to go to that spot where we fished the last time we were here. I did pretty good that time". Mike looked tired. "No, why don't you go. I think I'll go in the camper and take a nap. I'm feeling a bit tired. Probably from the long ride up here yesterday". "O.K. I'll go alone," she said. "Are you sure you'll be all right here alone for a while?" "For Gosh sakes, I'm fine, go fishing. You probably won't catch anything anyway the last time you went to that spot you didn't catch a thing". As Katie walked away, with fishing gear in hand, she is talking out loud to herself, "that old man can't remember anything anymore. I got at least 4 fish in that spot last time".
Katie walked down a narrow path to the edge of a stream and found a place that looked like it would be good to fish. She put her gear down and went about preparing her rod and line for a profitable day of fishing. It was so peaceful here. The sound of the water flowing over the rocks made her feel relaxed and like she was young again. Her mind floated back to when she had first met Mike.
She was eighteen and hadn't ever really had experience with men although she had been married for a brief time when she was sixteen. She was thinking about that night that she and her best friend Marie were going to the dance where she would meet Miquel.
It was during prohibition when Katherine’s parents moved to California and they were able to make a fare amount of money selling home made wine to their friends and neighbors. So although they were a poor family, prohibition lasted just long enough for them to not have to worry about having a roof over their heads. The house was a cement house with two bedrooms, a large kitchen, a parlor, and one indoor bathroom. Around the front exterior of the house was a porch that ran the length of the front of the house that was enclosed with screen to keep the mosquitoes and flies out. Attached to the house was five acres of land. Although her mother and father and their seven children didn't often have meat for their meals, they owned their land and being immigrants they all knew that was the most important thing. As long as they had the land they would survive one way or another. With the end of prohibition it became harder and harder to provide for their family. They could grow their own vegetables and butcher their own chickens but there was so much more a family that size needed.
Katherine was the eldest girl of the seven children. She had two sisters and four brothers. As was sometimes done in those days her parents decided that at the age of sixteen she was the most obvious way to solve their problem of how to provide food for themselves and their other six children. This wasn't because they were callous or cruel it simply was an alternative that presented itself at the appropriate time and not altogether an uncommon thing for those days. With their daughter married to someone of means they, by relation, could provide for their other children. Thus, one day she found herself married to a man she didn't really know, who was fourteen years her senior. They were married in a small catholic ceremony after which there was a small party of family members and then they left for their wedding night. All the knowledge she had acquired for her wedding night had come from innocent, albeit, frightening stories she had overheard from her mothers friends discussing their duties to their various husbands. Katherine went to her wedding bed afraid, but prepared to endure the worst without complaining. Much to her surprise Katherine’s wedding night was more terrifying than she could have imagined. She undressed alone in her new bedroom at her grooms home and slipped into her wedding bed to await her groom. As she laid there, trying not to think of the duty that was to come, she could hear her groom moving through the house. Then she heard a door close. It was a heavy door not the sound of a door that one hears inside a house but more like an entry door. Then there was silence. She waited!
Several hours later she awoke. She realized she had fallen asleep, but she didn't know for how long. And so the night passed without a sign or sight of her groom. She was more terrified than if he had shown up for that much feared “bridal night”. She was more afraid than she had ever thought it possible to be. What had she done wrong? What had she done to drive her groom from his own home on his wedding night? What would her parents say? She had to do her duty to her family. After laying there fretting for most of the night she finally arose, dressed, and fled to the what she hoped would be the safety of her parents house. She tearfully and rather hysterically gave her parents an account of what had occurred the previous night. Her mother tried to soothe her with a glass of wine while her father gathered up his coat and hat and left the house in search of his new son-in-law. He would put in order the details of what had really happened the night before. Surely his daughter had done something to drive her new husband out into the night.
Many hours later Katherine’s father returned. Upon his return she was sent from the room. She heard whispers and then much angry discussion, at the end of which she was called into the parlor and told that her husbands marital duties were not to his ability and that she would be granted an annulment on the grounds that the groom was unable to perform his marital duties. Katherine confused, accepted this (as she had accepted her duty to marry) and never thought of it again. However, many times during her life after that, she found herself with this vague feeling that somehow she was not adequate when it came to whatever it was that men wanted from women in that private place of the bedroom. She felt that this was a weakness in her, but it also enabled her to be detached enough to think of sex as a way to get things she may not otherwise be able to get. She had already failed in her mind so having become emotionally and physically immune to the act, she decided she would use her femininity to get what she wanted when the right time presented itself. Yes, she was afraid but she would do what she had to do of that she was determined. She didn't ever want to be in a situation again where the man had all the control over her emotions, so she decided that she simply would not allow herself to have any of those kinds of feelings.
So on that warm summer night as she was preparing to go to the dance with her friend Marie it was with hesitation and fear that she left the house. She didn't really want to go to this dance. She had only bought the ticket to the dance because she wanted a chance to win a quilt.
When they arrived at the hall Marie was very excited and had great expectations of what was to come. Katherine however was overwhelmed with the splendor of the hall. She had never experienced anything like this before. The music could be heard a block away as they approached. As they entered the door it took a minute for Katherine’s eyes to adjust to the lighting. There was a huge multi-colored ball in the middle of the ceiling. It turned slowly making sparkles of prism colored lights dance across the room. The participants looked as though they were dancing in a sea of jewels. As she moved around the room she began to feel different. Her senses felt like they were floating, her head was filled with the sights and sounds of the room. Her face felt flushed, and she had a slight tightness in her stomach. Somehow she knew that she was changing. That she would not be the same again. She felt that she would never look at life in the same matter-of-fact way again. She had left childhood things behind.
Maries voice was still prattling along invading this world that Katherine was awakening to. "Katie,Katie" Marie said nudging Katherine with her hand. "What Marie?" Kathrine said impatiently. "Look at that guy over there in the red shirt. Isn't he a dream?" Katherine’s eyes followed the point of Marie’s finger, but she didn't see the man Marie was pointing at, her eyes stopped when she saw another man. A man all dressed in a white suit. He was dark complected with dark brown hair, about 5 feet 8 inches tall. All at once she felt a rush that rose from her stomach and went up her chest and neck and made her face feel even more flushed than it had felt already. Her eyes were locked onto his face when she suddenly realized that he was looking straight into her eyes. Katherine turned away quickly embarrassed that he would see the emotions that were filling her. She didn't want to feel like this. She had made up her mind of that and was determined not to change it. "Katie, are you all right?" "Oh Marie isn't he just the most handsome man you ever saw?" "Who?" "The man dressed all in white," she said. "Oh him. I've seen him around town, but he's not half as cute as my guy in the red shirt". "Watch out Katie he's coming this way." "I think he's going to ask you to dance".
Katherine's face got hot again and she began to tremble. She lowered her eyes and stared at the floor. Oh no she thought. He probably thinks I'm easy because I was staring at him. I won't let myself feel this way. I won't”! Just then she felt a tap on her shoulder. A strangely accented voice that sounded as though he could hardly speak English said "Would you care to dance?" She turned and saw the largest dark brown eyes she thought she had ever seen, and in a very quiet voice she said "Yes”. He took her hand and guided her onto the dance floor. He slipped his arm around her waist and put his other hand in her hand, looking into her hazel eyes they began to dance. She was still trembling and to her dismay she thought, "I wish I could stay in his arms forever." " My name is Miquel", he said. "My name is Katherine," she said so softly that she could hardly believe she had said it. Staring into eachothers eyes they danced. The jewels of light enveloped them as they glided across the floor. It seemed to Katherine that everything and everyone else had vanished and there was just her and Miquel floating through a sea of colored lights. Never had she imagined anything so wonderful or so romantic.
Katherine felt a hard tug on her line and it pulled her out of her thoughts. She knew she had a hit. It felt like a big one. It must be a trout. Nothing fights as hard as a trout. And he said I wouldn't catch anything, Ha! She reeled the trout in and took the hook from its mouth and placed it in her satchel that she carried to put her bounty in. She put another worm on the line and cast her line and waited for another fish.
Her mind drifted back to her thoughts of times past. They'd been seeing each other regularly now for a couple of months. Katherine had no doubt that this was the man she wanted to be with for the rest of her life, but Miquel was quite a ladies man. In the sense that he appreciated the way a beautiful woman looked and most woman it seemed appreciated the way he looked at them. Katherine tried everything she could think of to make Miguel propose to her, but he seemed to be ammune to her coy little tricks. Katherine was deeply in love with Miguel and knew that she had to do something, anything to get him to marry her. Miguel was very attentive when he was with her and treated her with great admiration, but it was becoming apparent that her best friend Marie was also greatly admired by Miguel. It seems Marie was not above some light petting in the dark hours of the night. What was she going to do thought Katherine? How can I compete with that? Well, it didn't take her long to figure out that only one thing could compete with Marie. So Katherine set about the task of getting Miguel's attention away from Marie.
One night after Miguel was off work, Katherine snuck out of the house and met Miguel in the field behind her house. It was quiet and the grass was tall and it would be impossible for anyone to see them from the house. Katherine's intentions were just to show Miguel that she could give him what Marie was giving him and he didn't need anyone but her. Her first marriage had taught her that no man would ever have control of her again. If she had to go all the way to get Miguel to marry her, then so be it. After all its only sex, it didn't mean anything to her really, but it would get her the only man she had ever or could ever love. So on that night in the field when Miguel pulled her to him and kissed her she didn't pull away as she usually did. She felt his lips lightly and cautiously on hers. She pressed her lips harder onto his. Inviting him to pull her closer to him. She could feel her breast touching his chest and his lips getting harder on her lips. Then his tongue entered her mouth and touched her tounge. She felt a little dizzy. Something that quite surprised her. Then she found herself pressing her body closer to his. She could feel his excitement rising and strangely enough she was becoming excited herself. She felt strange stirrings that she'd never felt before. Soon they were both breathing heavily and they lay on the grass, making a bed with their bodies as if they were two deer settling down for the night in the long tall grass. As they kissed and caressed eachother Katherine was swept away from her mission and lost in the excitement and desire she felt within herself. Later as they lay in the grass with their bodies close together looking up at the stars Katherine knew that Miguel had to be hers now forever. She couldn't bear it if he left her. All her resolve was gone and she wanted only to possess and be possesed.
It wasn't long before Katherine discovered she was pregnant. Miguel was not the type to shirk his duty and he thought "I do love this little girl and I should be taking a wife at this time of my life so it won't be a bad thing to be married to Katherine". They were married at the court house in a very short but binding ceremony with two of Rachel's sisters and Miguel’s two brothers as witnesses. There was no honeymoon, there was no celebration and their wedding night took place in Miguel's bedroom at the house he lived in with his brothers and his father. None of this matter to Katherine. She had Miguel and that was what she had wanted. So the beginning of their lives together started. Perhaps not in the way that most young girls dream of late at night while laying in there beds, but then Katherine didn't feel like a young girl inspite of her age. She had what she wanted and that was all that mattered to her.
Miguel would someday come to love Katherine in the same way that she loved him. He would come to understand in his heart and soul that no other woman could fill the place inside of him that made him feel safe and more than just a man alone. He would learn over their years together that without Katherine he was incomplete. She filled that part of him that nothing else could satisfy.
The light was fading now and Katie hadn't had a tug on her line for a while so she decided she best get back and see what Miquel was doing. She couldn't wait to show off her fish and brag about them. She had only caught two but it was more than he said she would catch so it would be fun to show them off. As she picked up her things and started the walk back she felt a bit listless. Her thoughts of long ago had reminded her of things she wanted to never remember and things she wanted never to forget. So much time had passed and so much had gone between her and Miquel. She loved him as much today as she had that first time she saw him on the dance floor and she was glad that her love for him had showed her that it was okay to love and to desire and that she didn’t have to spend her life holding control over her emotions.
There was a definite chill in the air now and sundown would be coming soon. This was her favorite time of day. Her and Mike had spent many nights such as this sitting together feeling the warmth of the day fading and the chill of the evening coming on. They would often sit outside at home at this time of day and drink a cup of coffee and just enjoy these feelings.
She realized it had been quite awhile since they had done that. Mike had been so ill since his last heart attack and he seemed just to want to sit and watch television. Even though he always enjoyed seeing his children and his grandchildren lately he was reluctant to spend time with them as he said it just drained him of what little energy he had. When Katie entered the motor home with her days catch in her hand all ready to show them off to Mike she found him laying on the bed. At first she thought he was sleeping. Then she realized that he was gone. She was not surprised really to see that he had passed on. Somewhere inside she had known this time was coming soon. She knelt beside him and put her hand on his forehead. It was just slightly cool. His face looked peaceful, as if he had just fallen asleep never to awake again.
Now it was time for Katherine to go on without him. She didn’t know how she could and she didn't want to. In her secret heart she hoped it would not be a long wait. She knew that every time she closed her eyes at night he would be the last thing she thought of and when she woke he would be the first thing she thought of, but what can one do but go on until its time to join your most beloved.
© by Valre, 2002
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