(The band enter the reading room and take their seats around Roger's Mac)
Robert (Han Solo) I have a bad feeling about this...

>>Alright!
Roger:  Is this slash, involving me?
Robert:  ‘Fraid so, Rog.
Roger:  Then it’s NOT all right!

>>Yeah it requires a sequil,
Perry:  No, it requires an actual author.
Roger:  It requires a flamethrower!

>> but i hope you enjoy it all the same.
Simon:  Wish in one hand, piss in the other, see which one fills up first.

>> This is part two of what i sent you yesterday.
Jason:  Thankfully we didn’t get part one.
Perry:  I’ve got an itchy delete button finger.
Robert:  Good job, Perry.

>> This is actually fairly short,
Roger:  For which we can all be thankful!

>> but it's not the length that matters…
Simon:  Since when?

>>what am i saying; yes it is! hehehe!!!  enjoy!
All:  NO!
 

>>(Part two)
Go On, Go On, Your Choice Is Made
Perry: Yes, the title has already been established.
Robert:  Plagiarism!

>>Written by Gabriel
Perry:  An angel wrote this?  I’d never thought…
Jason:  I could comment, but I won’t.

>>They were out of their clothes and tangled up
Perry:  In blue?

>> under the sheets faster than the average Cure groupie could chase down Robert Smith.
Robert (Yogi Bear):  I’m faster than the average Cure fan!
Simon:  If they’re chasing you, they needn’t run too fast, man.
Robert:  Piss off.

>>Roger scooted down
Roger:  I have a scooter, oh, yay!

>>Simon's luxurious torso
Simon (feeling himself):  It is rather posh, isn’t it?

>> scattering careless, slippery kisses around his nipples,
Simon and Roger:  Arrrgh!  NO!
(Everyone laughs)
Simon (pointing at Robert, Perry, and Jason):  Don’t laugh, you bastards will probably be next!

>> and following the
Roger:  The yellow brick road?

>> trail of dark wavy hair to the thing he longed for most.
Robert:  Simon has a Lotus and a sixteen-year-old blonde on him?
(Roger shoots him the finger)

>> To hell with foreplay and making out!
Perry:  Why?  What did it ever do to you?

>> For once in his life Roger was
Simon:  Modest?
Robert:  Not drooling over www.barelylegalslutz.com?
Perry:  Not a wanker?
Jason:  Seen in last year’s fashions?
Roger:  Fuck all of you.  I mean it.
Jason:  Anybody want a peanut?

>>concerned only with getting to the main course, with out ever noticing the appetizers.
Perry:  Simon.  It’s what’s for dinner.
Robert:  No, more like dessert!
(Everyone edges away from Robert)
Robert:  What?

>>Simon's cock seemed made to fit in Roger's mouth,
Simon (dryly):  Yeah, I had it made to order.  We went in for measurements and everything.

>> filling it from
Perry:  Sea to shining sea?
Roger:  Well…even Simon’s not that big.
Robert:  And you would know this how?
Roger (defensively):  Well, who hasn’t seen that picture?
Robert:  Oh.  Right.

>> teeth to throat. Slipping
Perry:  In a puddle of—
Simon:  No.

>>it skillfully back and forth with each stroke, Roger was always
Simon:  A wanker?
Robert:  A tosser?
Roger:  Bastards.

>> careful not to pull too hard at Simon's foreskin
Simon (sarky):  Thanks for your concern, Roger.
Roger (same): You’re welcome.  Far be it from me to pull your foreskin too hard in a slash fic.
Perry:  What about otherwise?
Simon and Roger:  Shut up.

>> as he sucked furiously.
Roger:  The very idea has me furious!

>>The nails clawing at his shoulders, and raking
Jason:  The leaves.
 through his hair only made him that much more teasing as he held Simon unable to cum,
Roger:  And aren’t we glad of that.

>>unable to free himself.
Simon:  From yet another pointless slash fic.

>>"You bloody bastard!" Simon yelled.
Roger:  Why are you yelling at me, Simon?
Simon (Yelling):  Because it says so, right there!
Roger (Yelling back):  Oh, makes sense to me!
Robert (Yelling):  Shut the fuck up!

>>Removing his mouth from that delicious, throbbing shaft,
(Simon looks down at his crotch):  I’m delicious and throbbing?
Robert:  You’re asking us because?
(Everyone moves away from Simon)
Simon:  Wankers.

>>Roger grinned into Simon's eyes wickedly.
Simon:  Roger, get your grin out of my eyes.

>> "Is there something you want Love?"
Perry:  I didn’t know you were related to Courtney, Simon.
Simon:  Bite me.

>>Stroking Simon's
Jason:  Ego?
Perry:  Hair?

>>aching length
Robert:  Oh, that…

>>casually Roger continued. "Something involving this?"
Everyone:  NO!

>>"Goddamn you Roger!"
Perry:  You killed Kenny!
Jason:  You bastard!

>>"Say please."
Roger:  I will not!
Perry:  Except to say ‘Please end this story!’

>>"Fuck you!"
Simon:  That’s more like it!

>>"Say it
Everyone:  IT!!!

>> or I'll make you regret it whole-heartedly."
Everyone:  We already do!

>>Straining to get just enough sensation from Roger's ginger touch
Perry:  As opposed to his saffron touch?
Jason:  Or his Mary Ann touch?
(the others boo them)

 >>to push himself over,
Simon:  Beachy Head—that’s how desperate I am to get the hell out of this story!

>>Simon let his head fall back, and a low moan escaped his mouth.
Perry:  He bumped it quite hard.

>>“What was that, Love; didn't quite catch it."

>>"PLEASE! PLEASE! YOU SADISTIC BASTARD!"
Roger (darkly):  Flattery will get you everywhere!
(Everyone moves away from Roger.
Roger:  What?

>>"There was that so hard?"
Robert:  Well, something is!
(Roger and Simon glare at him)

>> Roger had barly
Perry:  He also had some rice and mullet as well!

>> Finished the sentence before he was
Jason:  Suicidal from the story he was forced into.  He killed Simon, then himself, the end.
(Dead silence)
Simon:  I like it.
Roger:  A bit dark, but I like it too.

>>slurping all the way down Simon's cock.
All:  Gaaaahhhh!

>>The usual trail of obscenities flew forth from Simon's mouth as
he filled Roger's with his cum.
Simon:  Fuck yeah!  I sure as hell don’t want to be coming in Roger’s mouth!
Roger:  Now just what is wrong with my mouth?  Wait, what am I saying?
Simon:  You tell me…

>>"Alright,"
All:  No, it is NOT!

>> Simon growled when he regained his senses. "Now it's
Perry:  Monty Python’s Flying Circus!

>>my turn!"
Roger:  No, that’s quite all right, really.  No need.

>>With no regard for Roger's pain tolerance,
Robert:  This story has no regard for anyone’s pain tolerance!

>> or for the rule they had about not leaving any obvious marks
Jason:  Nor any obvious Freds, Charlies, or Joes.

>> on each other's bodies, Simon sank his teeth into Roger's neck, sucking and licking like mad.
Robert:  Angry!  Not mad, angry!
(Everyone looks at him)
Robert:  Never mind.  You had to be there.

>>"Ouch! Stop!"
Roger:  that’s the first thing I’ve said that I can agree with.

>>Roger found himself
Jason:  After many years of soul-searching in his tipi.

>> Sitting bolt upright in his bed. The bedclothes were torn from each corner of the mattress, and his pajamas were drenched in sweat.
Roger:  What a relief…it was all a dream!

>>Correction; his pajamas were drenched, but some of that wasn't sweat.
All:  Ewwwww!

>> Looking around to be certain he was alone; he felt glad of it for the first time to see he was sharing his bed with
Perry:  Simon?
(Simon and Roger glare at him)

>> no one. Slipping out of the bed, and stripping
Everyone (even Roger):  Saaaaayyyy…
Perry:  hey, mate, you can’t saaaay yourself!
Roger:  Can too!  (looks at self) Saaaay…
(Perry rolls his eyes)

>>out of his pajamas, Roger swore himself under his breath.  You made your decision; you're going to have to live with it. Like it or not Roger,
Jason:  You’re in lust with Simon!
Roger:  Fuck off.

>> you're no longer a member of The Cure, he reminded himself.

>>Not for the first time, he caught himself thinking of calling Robert and
Simon:  asking him to come over for a quick shag?
Robert:  Um, no.

>>apologizing for his abrupt departure, but as always, he reprimanded himself
Perry (As Roger):  Bad Roger!  Bad!  No reunion for you!

>>for it sharply.

>>Look who they've replaced you with! A bloody guitar technician! The man's never touched a piano once in his life, and they chose him!
Perry:  Heeeeyyyyy…
Roger:  Don’t look at me, I didn’t write this!

>>No; that wasn't fair to Robert, Simon or... Perry was it;
Teddy, maybe?
Perry:  That’s my name don’t wear it out.

****

Perry:  Is that all (tries to scroll down)  Apparently it is!
Robert:  I'm glad that's over.
(The Cure get up to leave.  Suddenly, 'Loading, Please Wait' appears on the Mac's screen)
Simon:  Fuck a duck...
Roger:  I'll pass.
(they sit back down)

Robert:  So what's this next piece of refuse?

(Perry looks)  It's called Disintegration, by someone named Ligeia...
Roger:  We'll just put her on the 'To be dealt with list', along with Raven and millionvirgins...

Disintegration
Robert: Hey!  That’s MY title!  Plagiarism, say I!

October 1987, somewhere in Norway.
Jason: As Mulder and Scully wind up yet another episode of ‘We want to do each other but we won’t or the show will die…’

311… 313…
Perry:  Someone here can’t count!
Simon: I think Roger's the narrator here.  So not only can't he spell...
Roger: Shut up.

oh damn!
Robert:  (as Roger) I'm caught in a plot device!

Which is mine? I stumble
Jason:  Jeez, what a clumsy bastard!
(Roger glares at him)

 through the hotel corridor
Perry:  Now that's going to leave a mark.

 trying to reach my room, but
Roger:  My arms aren't long enough?
Simon (pats Roger on the back):   That's it, mate!  Get into the spirit!
Jason:  Since when are you the Chicken Lover?
Robert:  No, that was 'Get into the magic!'

 it's easier said than done. I'm dead
Robert (eyeing Roger):  You look pretty good for a dead guy.
Roger:  Thanks...I think.

tired, my head hurts like hell
Jason:  Robert, does Hell hurt?
Robert:  I wouldn't know, Jay.  I'm Atheist, remember?
Jason:  Oh, right.

 and I'm so drunk
All:  How drunk is he?!
Robert:  He’s sooo drunk, he’s about to shag one of his bandmates?
Roger:  Go to hell.

I can hardly read
Simon:  Well, we knew he couldn’t spell…
Jason:  Hooked on Phonics could help here, Roger.
(Roger glares at them both)

 the numbers on the doors.
Perry:  Ray is number 42, and Jim Morrison has 86...
Jason:  That's a bit dark.
Perry:  Not too dark.

 Damn again!
Robert:  And again and again and again...

 But I would do it
Simon:  (Roger) With all my bandmates!
All (Except Roger):  Saaaaayyy...
Roger:  Oh, stuff it.

 all over again
Robert:  And again and again and again...

right now were I asked to.
Perry:  But you weren't, so nyaaah!

 Well, tomorrow I will anyway.
 
What a night…
Jason:  And it hasn't even really started yet!

 My first show with The Cure. The greatest night of my life. Yeah, but I want to
All (except Roger):  Saaaaayyyy...

get some rest now, lie down in bed and just sleep. Sleep.
All (except Roger): Damn!

319. Was it this one? Oh well, let's try. Yes, seems I got the right…
Perry:  To remain silent.

As soon as I open the door someone pushes me into the dark room
Simon: (As Roger) Where I was developing my latest off-kilter photos!

and I stagger forward, landing on my knees.
Roger (wryly): I have the feeling that I'm going to be there a while...

I hear the door being closed and locked and I turn to look at whoever it is, but it's too dark to see
anything else than a blurred shape
Robert:  The Schmoo!

 standing against the wall. I hear footsteps approaching, the sound muffled by the thick carpet
and feel a hand grabbing my
All: Saa-
Roger (glaring):  NO.
(Everyone shuts up)

wrist and tugging me to my feet: how the hell can he move around so easily when all I can see is
a pitch-black wall all around me?
Roger:  Ummm, a few seconds ago, I could see a blurry shape, and now it's pitch black?
Perry:  Welcome to the wonderful world of slash.

Suddenly, I feel something smooth and soft covering my eyes and a knot being tied behind
my head. Am I… blindfolded?
Robert:  You tell us, man.

"Who is it?" I mutter.
Jason:  It's the plumber.  I've come to fix the sink.
Simon:  Eh?
Jason:  Long story.

 My hands are free,
Perry:  With the purchase of the rest of Roger O'Donnell, his hands are free!

 I could
Roger: (cynically)  But I won't.  Of course.
Jason:  Oh, so you do want it!
Roger:  No!  It's the plot, that's all.
Jason (pats Roger's arm):  Sure it is, Rog.  Sure.

 just pull the scarf down and turn around, face him, but I feel paralysed, it's like
the connection between my brain and my body was broken, I can't move one single muscle.
Roger:  So I'll try moving the married ones instead.
Perry:  Not bad, Roger.  You're getting it.  Err, the idea, I mean.

I hear a low chuckle in response, just behind my ear.
"You know who I am, Roger…" a voice whispers.
Roger:  Mr. Bean?
Jason:  Mojo Jojo?
Perry:  Me?
Robert:  You weren't with the band then, man!  (Eyes Perry)  Are you trying to tell us something?
Perry:  (blushing)  *No*.

I gasp. It's one of them… one of us, one of the band.
Robert:  It is one of us, which is to say, he is with us, The Cure, and is therefore a bandmate...
Jason:  You need to watch a little less Powerpuff Girls, mate.
Robert:  My nice watches it.  And considering that *you* knew that I was imitating Mojo Jojo...
(Jason studies his shoes)

 I know this voice, I must have heard it a hundred times at least but I just can't understand who
he is. Why did I drink so much tonight?
Simon:  Yes, Roger, why did you drink so much tonight?
Roger:  Probably because I knew I was about to be slashed!

"Is it some kind of trick you guys play to the newcomers?" I ask trying to sound amused,
Robert:  No, usually we put hot sauce in their mouthwash and draw on their faces when they sleep.

but I can't ignore the shiver running down my spine, the faint trace of panic that is slowly
reaching my fuddled mind.

"No tricks, Roger…" the voice whispers again, too low to let me understand who it actually
is, "I've wanted to do
Simon:  You?
Roger:  Shut up.

 this since the first time I saw you…" he breathes against my neck and I shudder as his lips,
warm and soft, brush my skin.
Roger:  Ack!
Simon (triumphant):  See?
Roger (Challenging):  So what are you going to do if it is *you*?
(Simon mutters under his breath)

God, I hope this feeling is fear…
Roger:  Me too!

His arms wrap around me and his hands roam over my chest, caressing me
through the black cotton.
All (Except Roger):  Woooo-ooooohhh!
Roger (glares to no avail)

 He unbuttons my shirt and brushes it aside, his mouth trailing slowly to my now-naked
shoulder, licking and biting lightly.
All (Sans Roger):  Saaaaaayyyy....
Roger:  What-*ever*...

 I can feel my heartbeat increase, my brain pound furiously in my head just as if it were
knocking on my skull, hopelessly pleading me to let it out to avoid
Roger:  This fucking tripe!

exploding.
Robert:  That'll be along soon enough.

This isn't fear, this isn't fear…
Roger:  It is, yes it is yes it is...
Perry:  Keep telling yourself that, Roger.

"What have you done to me, Roger? Cast a spell over me?"
Roger:  I'd like to cast a spell of leave me the hell alone!

 His lips are pressed against my earlobe now, his voice just a moan. Why don't I
run away? Why do I let him do this to me?
Robert:  Because the story is written this way, that's why!
Roger:  I'm going to kill her.  I don't care if she's twenty and cute.  She will *die* for this.

His hands run slowly down my chest, linger over my belly and finally graze my groin, just
a second then move back up, but it's enough to make me shudder violently.
All:  (except Roger) Oooohhhh...
(Roger fumes silently)

I hold my breath. Hard. I'm getting hard and I can't help it. I can't. What's happening to me,
I've never felt like this before…
(Roger makes a strangled protesting noise)
Simon:  It's okay, Roger.  You can't help it.

"So you're enjoying this too, Roger. You can't deny it…"
Roger:  Yes, I *can*!

His fingers trail lightly up to my cheek, the soft pressure of his fingertips making me turn
my face toward his. Don't, please don't…
Jason:  Don't...
Perry:  Stop...
Jason:  Don't...
Perry:  Stop...
Both:  Don't stop!
(Suddenly they become aware of how they're looking at each other and turn bright red)

 But I don't draw back as his mouth touches mine and I moan as he teasingly nibbles at my lower lip.
Roger:  I don't, absolutely don't, believe this shit.

My brain has definitively lost any kind of control over my body and I find myself responding
to the kiss, my tongue sliding slowly against my unknown assailant's.
All (Except Roger):  Yessssss...
Simon:  Go Roger!
Roger:  Fuck you!
Simon:  Maybe you will be!
Roger:  Gaaah!

I turn and place my hands on his shoulders, willing to push him away, trying to convince myself I
want to push him away. I embrace him instead, my hands moving in his hair, stroking lightly as
he caresses my waist and hips. I shouldn't be doing this, I shouldn't…
Roger:  No, I shouldn't!

He suddenly breaks the kiss leaving me panting and, holding me by the waist, makes me turn again.
I'm too dazed to offer resistance and just do what his hands tell me to, swaying a little.
"Now we're going to have some fun…"
Robert:  Oooh, here we go...
(Roger shudders)

His hand moves from my hip to my groin, rubbing slowly and I moan tilting my head back, resting
it against his shoulder.

"You like it, don't you Roger?"
All (Except Roger):  Yes!
Roger:  NO!!

 His tongue flickers in my ear as he says that, making me shiver. Yes, I do...
Perry (gleeful):  See?

I wince as his fingers tug at the zipper but his other hand moves up to my chest once more, pressing me
against him, holding me tight.
"Be still… be calm… be quiet now, my precious boy… Don't struggle like that or I will only love you more…"
Robert:  MORE plagiarism?  I will deal with this wench!

Sounds like a poem, or some of those lyrics that Robert writes. But I'm not in a position to think now…
Jason:  More like in a position for a blowjob!
(Roger shakes his head slowly)

The zipper is pulled down at last and I hold my breath as his fingers move slowly over the length of
my straining cock, groaning as his hand finally closes over it.
(Everyone applauds as Roger covers his burning face with both hands)

I feel my legs buckle as his strokes push me higher and lean back against him, a harsh gasp escaping
my lips as he brings me over the edge.
Perry:  That was awfully fast!
Simon:  You must have really liked that, Roger...
(Roger only groans, still hiding)

Still panting I feel him shift slightly, the hand that was holding me slides up to my face, brushing my
cheek in a soft caress. Then his mouth is on mine again, his tongue thrusting, twining with my own.
"What about me now, dear…"
Roger:  What *about* you, arsehole?

 he says in a husky tone pressing himself against my back and I feel a bulge against my buttocks.
All (Not Roger):  Mmmmm...

He makes me turn around
Robert:  He's making roger do the hokey-pokey!
Roger:  Better than what I'm afraid he's making me do...

again and pulls me to the floor with him, his hand tangling in my hair and pulling me closer. I feel the
cool silk of his shirt against my cheek, the pressure of his hand urging me lower and I realize what he wants me to do.
(Roger sinks down in his chair)

Can I do it? Can I?
Perry:  Yeah, Roger, can you?
Roger:  Bite me, Teddy.
Perry:  Ooh, an invitation...
(Roger sinks lower)

I swallow hard
Simon:  No, that comes later!

and grope for the zipper. I'm still blindfolded but I don't want to take the scarf off, it's better if I don't
see what I'm just about to do. Definitely better. So here we go…
Simon:  Are we there yet?
Robert:  No.
Simon:  Are we there yet?
Robert:  No.
Simon:  Are we there yet?
Robert:  Let me check (looks)  No.

Unsure of what to do, I flick my tongue over the head of his cock, tasting. Not so bad after
all. Better than I imagined actually… Feeling a bit braver I lick the underside of it making my
partner moan. A dull thud tells me he must have reclined back and I smile.
(Everyone hoots and 'saaaaays' as Roger slides all the way out of his chair)

Slowly I take it into my mouth and suck. Am I really doing this, sucking another man? Yes, and
I'm enjoying it too…
(Simon ducks his head down):  You're missing it, Roger!
Roger:  Good!

My hands stroke slowly his hips and he writhes. "God… suck me ,Roger… eat me…"
Robert:  Whoever this is, he sure is enjoying himself!

Suddenly he thrusts his hips upward and his cock fills my mouth, hard and hot.
(Perry reaches down and tries to pull Roger back up, but Roger is now under the chair)
Perry:  come on, man!  You're going to miss the best part.
Roger:  I'll just have to live with that.
(Simon reaches down and yanks Roger back out, depositing him back in his chair)
Roger:  Ow!  Bastard!
Simon:  If we have to read this crap, so do you!

I moan, startled, but don't stop, his hands clutching tightly at my hair as I move faster and faster
until he loses control completely, groaning deeply as he comes.
(Everyone applauds and whistles as Roger hides his face again)

I pull my mouth away and lie down on my back. I run my fingers over the scarf still covering my eyes,
but I don't dare to undo the knot. God, what have I done?
Perry:  I'd think that would be obvious!

Silence. An unreal silence
Simon: As opposed to a Full Metal Gear Silence, or a Resident Evil Silence?

fills the air for minutes, I really couldn't say how long.
Roger:  (sarcastic)  I suppose having given a drunken blowjob to my bandmate has warped my
sense of time.

Then I hear a soft rustle beside me and I know he's sitting back up. I feel his lips on mine for a
moment before he gets up and goes to the door.
"Great blowjob, Roger…"
Roger:  Thanks!  Oh no, I didn't mean--
(Everyone laughs)

 he whispers and opens the door, "Oh sorry, I haven't told you yet. Welcome to The Cure." He goes
out of the room, closing the door behind him and leaving me trembling on the floor.
Robert:  My.  Now that's an ending.
Roger:  It should've ended where it started!

End