Contributor : Martin (diesel-duck@home.com)
Here are some practical jokes . . .
The key to a good practical joke is execution - well of course, you say.
You need a well meaning eager beaver victim.
You need professional cohorts.
And you need to be convincing in your setup.
Generally, most practical jokes involve getting some newbie/greenie to do something, which, on shore, would seem absurd, but since it's a ship -it's a custom !
"GO GET THE KEYS TO THE CHAIN LOCKER"
The joke is...
the chain locker is a compartment where the anchor chain is stored. It has no keys, doors, or other real need for a "lock" therefore the person will scurry about the ship aimlessly looking for the key.
"GO GET A GALLON OF PROPELLER WASH"
The joke is . . .
There are many chemicals on ships, and every job practically requires a special product. Prop wash is water turbulence aft of the ship created by the propeller therefore a waste of time since its just seawater.
"GO GET ME THE LEFT HANDED CRESCENT WRENCH"
The joke is . . .
There is no such things as a left, or right, handed crescent wrench. Some tools like the crescent and the pipe wrench are designed in a way where someone, i.e.: "deck ape", may find them to be for a left or right hand application. This is not the case.
"GO WATER THE CAPTAINS ROSE"
"GO WATER THE COMPASS ROSE"
the joke is . . .
Once again the skepticism of the sailor may be quashed by the all mighty authority of your accomplice, the captain. Generally, maps have an insignia designating the position of "north" - also called the "compass rose". On a nautical chart, this reference contains a bit more information and is called the "rose" -"chart rose". If the captain plays along, the victim should be running up to the captain's cabin countless times, as the captain is "too busy right now", to water his "garden".
"GO GREASE THE RELATIVE BEARING"
The joke is . . .
Relative bearing is a nautical term - the position of a vessel, navigational aid or such in relation to your vessel. So the victim should get an ear full from the chief engineer when they try to find out where on the ship they should applied the grease they are carrying.
"GET THE SKY HOOK"
The joke is . . .
Once again, there is no such thing. A sky hook is an utopian dream of where a block, tackle or anything else could be secured to. Can't secure anything to thin air, so unfortunately, it's just a wish. But it doesn't hurt to send the new guy looking for it.
Submitted by Roger, at http://dnausers.d-n-a.net/dnetkvoc/
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