FEB...2003

FEB...1st...SATURDAY

Well journal is another beginning of another month, and looking forward to this month being over with, brings it closer to spring.Surgery will be the 14th Valentines day, and will have to go down
the 6th also to see the Dr. and then go to Tn. Christain Hospital,
for the work-up before surgery.
Trying to get this journal caught up....and still like some on Friday night...will get back to it.

Master and i got up around 8 or 8:30am...i made some coffee and Master put some strudels in the oven, and after done that is what we had for breakfast...was pretty good....Doug hasn't got up yet so
played around on computer with the music and checking the weather.
Doug left to do his thing, and Master and i did our thing...we both ended once again sweaty
and hot....layed around to cool off...took our baths and went to eat at the Chinese place,
Wendy and Jay came in and sat with us and talked....we enjoyed our supper...from there left and went to wal-mart, Master found Him a portable cd player for His car...came back home and He made sure it worked while i made Him some cd's from the music i have downloaded.
Doug came in and said he was going with Matt hunting again, would be in late..
Master and i sit around watching tv...talking and cutting up...then around 9:30pm we went to the bedroom to lay and watch some tv...well can say He didn't just lay and watch tv...we started talking and as we talked He talked
He begin playing with pussy and clit which was still sensitive from our play that afternoon...as He talked He moved inside me to sliding His finger up to clit putting enough pressure on it...it hits that nerve that all us women know that drives us crazy.... my body jumped everytime He hit that special spot...as He talked He continue to move in and up...sometimes fast sometimes slow....i lay there and listened to Him loving every touch.
Then He brought out Demon...and knew as sensitive as i was already and that He had made me even more, that i wasn't going to have a chance with demon added to the play...and i was right....between Master's fingers playing with me...and demon inside of me...and it vibrating and rubbing my clit also...made me go over ...Master ask me how many times i cum....geezee i couldn't tell Him how many know it was alot...the first one i remember as feeling like my whole body was quivering and shaking from the inside and the warmth flowed all the way through me...i could feel my body tense up as spasms begin to take over....it was total bliss...then it seem like it wouldn't stop....my clit was more senistive to His touch and demons....finally i had to call Please Mercy.
i felt so drained yet it was a good feeling drain.....giggles...Master said wonder how long i could go...hummm
not sure how long....might be fun to find out...lol
We layed and cuddled after that.....Master got up and left to head home around 1:20am..
 

Feb. 2nd....SUNDAY

Master went ahead and left around 1:30am this morning so He could get back...sure didn't want to see
Him leave...went back to sleep, woke up at 5am...got up made pot of coffee started drying some clothes,
then around 6:30am..said to heck with it and went back and layed down, got up around 10am...douglas
woke me up....got up dranked a cup of coffee....left Master a message on icq, He had a couple to let me
know He had got home and enjoyed our time together....and so did i....why does it seem to pass so quickly..?

Doug started cleaning up his model room and i started washing more clothes and drying them, getting them
put up...doug help when i got a load out of dryer....he got his room looking pretty good...he took one of his tables
out and gave it to Matt....was good to see something gone from that room....then he swept and vacum the floors,
got the speakers out of the room and upstairs out of the way, can't wait till spring gets here so i can have a yard sale and get rid of that stuff upstairs.
Then i started on my bedroom, getting things out of there and put back in place..has been so pretty today was nice to open up my doors and windows and get some fresh air....after today and yesterday i dread to see bad weather come back in here...gives you a touch of spring and then throws you back into cold.
Got the hallway cleaned and everything out of the way, so if come in from dark wont' trip over anything,
cleaned my ceiling fans...boy did they need it....trying to get some things done around here before surgery
that way won't be so hard to keep things clean while one handed.

Doug and i went to Dollar General store, i needed to get some shout or degreaser to see if i could get the grease spots off of his coat...they had some elastic pants on mark down to get rid of for a dollar...heck figured they will do around the house when i have no one around to help me get clothes on....so got me 5 pair of them,
they look kinda nice...not sure how they fit...but will do around here.
Well journal that is about all i have been doing today is cleaning up around here...trying to get ahead of things, is now 5pm and i am going to get my bath,hair washed, eat something.
Later......boo boo kiddy fuck....LMAO
________

Sunday night

Ok journal Master came online and we talked....then pictures once again came into the conversation, we had talked about it before, telling Him that the site wasn't private and anyone could find it...and come across it...He said He understood...why didn't i tell Him before.
His words...
had a wonderfull week end,,,,,your pushing your luck,,,,,,,,,,,,,,IM tired,,,,,,,,bad timing on your part,,,,,Think I need to get some rest.....
Ok sorry I feel rotten,,,,,,your not seeing what Im telling you,,,,,,
Your sub,,,,,,and owe me respect,of letting me do what I need to do for you. Have told you what my limits are,,,,,
my answer back to His...
sorry, i'm not  living up to Your expectations....i understand what Your telling me....yet Your not understanding my request exposed into this lifestyle on the net....as You don't want any exposed of Yourself....that is showing me respect also..if i didn't have any kids then i wouldn't care of decent pictures of me on the net with this lifestyle...but i do and they have access to the net....You hide this lifestyle from Your daughter and family....two of my kids knows that i have been into this lifestyle, and i wouldn't want them to come across pictures.

I'm sitting now after Master goes off line telling me He is tired and that i picked a bad time on my part...and that the ice is thin under my feet....and i'm thinking everything was going great...had a wonderful weekend together...then another subject comes up that we have talked about before.
He said...Have told you what my limits are......doesn't my limits count also in this lifestyle...He ask for respect,
i ask for respect also, not wanting to expose myself with pictures on the net...that any of my family might see.
i'm getting off of here....no since in worrying about it anymore..
______
FEB... 3rd....MONDAY

Well home from work, was some busy glad to see it over with, Doug has took my car to Co-op to get that
front tire fixed, can't keep airing it up and taking a chance of it blowing out on me on the way to Nashville thursday,  told him to take my spare out of the Thunderbird just in case it couldn't be fixed, and have them take my rim off the Tarus and put on thunderbird tire.
Has been a damp, dark, dismal kind of day today and radar shows some heavy storms moving our way,
not looking forward to the cold weather behind it at all.
Got my Confirm today from Tenn Care...approving my Surgery on the 14th...so looks like it is on.
Bobby Jo called Kevin today and ask him to build him a computer....his wife Ann has took over his now so he needs one to use....lol...i think it is funny.

Didn't get on the computer this morning, so didn't leave a message to Master, when i came home had a couple from Him that He had been sick all night thinking He might have got food posioning....Hope He is feeling better today....Told me everything is ok, and not worry about it...is not easy to not think about it.
 

Well journal is 5pm and haven't seem Master online so was doing some searching to pass time this evening and come across some "Personality" test that the same program is used in the "Career Development Programs" in most schools....you answer all 70 questions honesty and it tells you if you are..."Artisan"....Guardian...Rational....or Idealist..(below is my results.)

All Artisans share the following core characteristics:

             Artisans tend to be fun-loving, optimistic, realistic, and focused on the here and
             now.
             Artisans pride themselves on being unconventional, bold, and spontaneous.
             Artisans make playful mates, creative parents, and troubleshooting leaders.
             Artisans are excitable, trust their impulses, want to make a splash and seek stimulation.
             Educationally they go for arts and crafts, avocationally for
techniques, and vocationally for operations work. They tend to be permissive as parents, playmates as spouses, and play oriented as children.

Then found Medieval Vocational Personality test...only eight questions and you put them in the order that is most important to you....the results below..

Your distinct personality, The Benevolent Ruler might be found in most of the thriving kingdoms of the time.
You are the idealistic social dreamer. Your overriding goal is to solve the people problems of your world. You
are a social reformer who wants everyone to be happy in a world that you can visualize. You are exceptionally
perceptive about the woes and needs of humankind. You often have the understanding and skill to readily
conceive and implement the solutions to your perceptions. On the positive side, you are creatively persuasive,
charismatic and ideologically concerned. On the negative side, you may be unrealistically sentimental,
scattered and impulsive, as well as deviously manipulative. Interestingly, your preference is just as applicable in
today's corporate kingdoms.
Well journal going to get off of here for now...Master hasn't been on..going to get my bath...later

Played some dominoes with robot....Master came on line still not feeling good....talked for a few...went back to play a few games..now 10:06pm...fixing to get off of here..
later journal..
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FEB..4th....TUESDAY

Well journal another day has almost gone by, today was ok...busy and not busy...glad to see it over with.
Called Dr's office have to be in Nashville at 9:30am...hope the weather holds..still saying rain and snow Wednesday night and Thursday.
Haven't heard from Master how His dr's appointment went this morning...guess He will be on later.
Guess will get off of here right now and get some things done around here, and relax some.
later...
Came online....Master was on...He had a message that the dr said He had Reflex...sent message hello....4 times and no answer....then He finally answered...saids one sentence and saids let Him go to eat...will be right back.....well that was at 5:59pm...and haven't seen Him since...
Later.....
Master was online when i came back on ...talked a few minutes then played Dominoes...
500 games.....2 to 1...my favor
___________

FEB.... 5th....WED.

Another morning is 21 degrees this morning....they are still calling for rain mixed with snow after midnight, and snow for thursday with presciption ...chance is 80 percent....so going to call the dr.s office and see what they say about changing it to Monday or Tuesday due to the forecast.
time to get up and get ready for work...later

Work was busy today, time passed fast...
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FEB... 6th...Thursday
Trip to Hendersonville...to Dr...and Hospital...home late..
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FEB.... 7th....Friday

Got up this morning...didn't want too...was so tired...got Doug up and left for work.
Work was rather slow for a friday, am glad it is over with.

FEB..8th...SATURDAY

Stayed up late Saturday morning and played sheephead....didn't get up around 11pm.
Got up and did nothing...layed around and watched tv.
Master came online, said the pipes at church froze and busted..He had been there all day and evening fixing them.....we played one game of Dominoes....of 500...His favor.
Went to bed and layed and watched tv.

FEB....9th...SUNDAY

Got up around 8:30am....started doing the usual things that i didn't do yesterday, sweeping, dusting, washing dishes, clothes...all the fun things of housework....yea right.
Haven't seen Master online....as of yet...is 2:25pm....played some sheephead earlier.
Worked on some pages that i put up on Entrance page.
Is snowing here, pretty good....hope it gets it out of its system before Friday gets here.
Well Master hasn't come on line as of yet...guess i will go play some Dominoes or Sheephead.
later.....
Master came online...didn't feel good...we played a couple hands of Dominoes..
1 to 1
_________

FEB...10th...MONDAY

Well wasn't any snow this morning at all when i got up at 5am...so made a pot of coffee and sat down and drank it....got ready for work, left a message on computer for Master...woke Doug up and left for work.
Work wasn't all that busy....really didn't expect it to be on a monday...everyone seemed to be in good spirits, Faye is worried she will not be able to do the Buffet while i am gone without any training...Wendy is upset because Bobby Jo ask Faye to take Buffet while i am gone....which i agree Wendy is not really liable to be there everyday...when she is suppose to be there in the morning to stock things at 7:30am she is lucky at times to get there at 8 or 8:30am and most of the time she has Bradron with her because her babysitter can't keep him that day....so she usually has to go back home...Told faye if she was uncomfortable and felt like she couldn't do it without any training in kitchen then ask Bobby Jo to be trained a few days....
Come home, had pictures Master had sent of the snow at His place.  Master came online and we played a couple games of nines in Dominoes....2 to 0 my favor...Going to take my bath and wash my hair...something has been on my mind to ask Him...really has made me feel lost...not sure if i should or not..
later...

Well got my bath and hair washed...had a message from Norma saying she was having trouble staying on line due to the ice on phone lines....at least it isn't electricity lines...Master hasn't come back online so guess i will go play with robot...lol
laterrrrrr...

FEB.....11th...TUESADAY

Didn't sleep good.....dozed off and on all night and morning...got up at 5:30am...made some coffee, left Master a message woke Doug up and left for work at 6:30am....Work wasn't really busy at all today, so it went rather slow....after Doug came by to pick me up had to go to Drug store and pick up Prepscription then head to wal-mart to get the sterile soap i have to use three times before surgery...cvs didn't have it...finally get home at 3:45pm...
Haven't seen Master on line all evening
Hope He's feeling better...
Guess i will go do some landuary and more of all the fun things we do.
To keep myself busy, my nerves are being to get to me...closer it becomes worse it is.
Master came online, talked a few minutes then played a couple games of Dominoes 500.
1 to 1

FEB....12th....Wednesday

Well got up...tossed and turned most of the night...slept some...today is suppose to be a nice day, sure hope
so am tired of dreary days...ready for spring to come forth.
work was ok....not all that busy again...home and got online, Master was already on..talked a while about the coming surgery ask me if i wanted Him to bring me home and stay till Sunday night or wait until Sunday and come and stay .....told Him i would like to have both...but i understand He has a home and responiablity...He had some soup on, and needed to go feed critters....
Checked mail and had a card from Him....He called me "little one" in it...smiles...sends butterflys to the pit of my stomach when He calls me that...
Started doing some cleaning...seens like i will never get done, trying to get some things done i know i will not be able to do for awhile...like the fireplace in living room...moving my indians and cleaning them...things get so dang dusty in this house...wish could pull this carpet up in living room but nothing but a plain plaster broad under it....Smiles...sent Master a card...and also have Him one for here...

Master know i will be having my surgery on Valentines so this coupon will be good
even after Valentines...lol..course don't have to have a reason to spank...but thought this
was cute.

Well it is 6:38 right now...so think i am going to heat me up some struggles think that is the way they are spelled wouldn't count on it....and drink me a cup of coffee with them.
Trying to keep myself busy, not thinking of the surgery coming up...and what it will mean...tomorrow is my last day at work for awhile...going to miss the gossip...and the girls.
Later....
Master and i played Dominoes games of 500....He won 2 to 0..His favor
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ENTRANCE PAGE

FEB....13th....Thursday

Got up at 5am...left Master a message....woke Doug up and we left....Work was busy for a change,
at least at times....Dr's office called said surgery was canceled right now unless the ER...they had come up was not able to have the 6hr surgery...Pam said she would call me tonight before she leaves at 7pm and let me know for sure if it was still on or if there was a cancel for Monday or Tuesday....if not it is resheduled for the 25th of this month....was dreading it...but wanting it over with too.....now if i have to wait another week for it will be crazier then i am now...
Won't be working tomorrow anyway....wendy is already sheducled to work.
Well guess i will stop writing for now and see what i can get into around here....have to leave the phone open until around 7pm...waiting for her to call...
later....
Master came online, we had trouble getting into Dominoes...finally did...played 2 games of 500...
my favor 2 to 0.
Went to bed around 11pm.
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FEB...14th...Friday

Got up at 6:30 woke Doug up for school, he left and i went back and layed down got up at 9am, made some coffee, got online Master was online...He had sent me a Valentines Card...was really sweet.
Has been raining here since last night....have flood watch out for our area....at least it isn't snow or sleet, so today has been one of them damp, dark, dreary kind of days....will be another long weekend coming up but at least i will have both hands this weekend and next....surgery is resheducled for FEB..25th. at the same time.
Master said He is feeling better then He did, am glad...ready for Him and i both to get to normal.
Master said He found a bamboo cane in shop...lol...be nice for it to stay in shop..

He talked about going deeper into submission and bondage...bondage i know is part of M/s and i do enjoy it when He restrains me...yet i find that i enjoy it more also when He tells me not to move, blindfolded, or not to make a sound....anticipation is a big factor here, my mind starts thinking, what is He going to do...the factors....what, how, when, where...comes into focus....i listen to try to hear His movements....waiting for that first touch of His hands, or whatever He has in His mind to do...and when that first touch comes whether i am tied or told not to move, i have to admit my body has a mind of its own...i'm not sure if i could lay still and not make a sound when my Master touches me with His hands...i might be able to do it for a second...not sure for much longer...i think i had that in the card game i was working on....10 minutes with Demon, not making a sound or movement.

Master and i also talked about "Pain"....He ask me if He had ever exceded my pain level..?
told Him no...i know i love the flogger, the thug sound as it hits my body, and the sting as He increases the force of it...yet i am not sure just how much pain i can take of it...before i reach my limit....like He said there is different feelings and limits for the many different things in this lifestyle.
Guess i better get off of here things i need to get done..
later
Doug is still over Matt's working on the Derby car's....got my bath and got the pictures done, already had journal up to date except tonights entry..
Has been pouring down all day without any stopping...and wasn't about to go to mailbox in the rain, so i let mail if any stay out there...Tammy and Kevin came over around 5:30pm and stayed until 7:30pm...Mother called about 5 after 7...Belinda didn't tell her my surgery had been canceled she called to see how i was or if home yet.
She had said she was at thrift store and slipped and fell in front of store...a black man was passing in the car and stopped and helped her...also the women in the store seen her and went to help...said she cut 3 of her fingers and pavement burns on her legs and knees....she said they got her inside...she cleaned up the blood off her fingers...and went ahead and looked at some things in the store..she noticed her ankle was hurting..
After she got home...took her bath...and doctored the cuts and scrapes and sit down to read....aunt rudy came over and mother said she couldn't walk to the door...hollered and told rudy to use her key...anyway...rudy made mother go to ER...and told her ...the ankle wasn't broke...but sprained real good...mother said she was on crutches a couple of days....and then a small walker...said she has graduated to a walking cane now.
Told her she was very lucky she didn't break a hip....she will be 84 tomorrow...

Master and i played Dominoes.....games 500....2 to 1 my favor.
He is still having trouble getting into His favorites and email...
Well guess i will close this for tonight....Master is online but fooling with His computer..
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FEB...15th..SATURDAY

Got up at 8am woke Doug up to leave with Matt...Day has been a wet one, has rained all night and all day, and still raining.
Talked to Master for awhile on icq, then headed for town before the water got to high...it is really high already at the rock cruser...or was on my way back this morning....didn't like but about 4 inches being over the road...Fiducia Rd at the other end at Cut off rd..is already flooded...that was at around 12:30 this evening..so is worse now people are saying...
Haven't done much of anything else today, after i got home from town...watched some tv, downloaded some music, waiting to see if Master came online....played some sheephead.
Doug is still with Matt in Waynesboro...haven't heard from him, hope they are back..
Well guess for now i will get off...
later...

Master came online around 7pm...talked about aol...then went to play Dominoes....500 games...3 to 0 my favor
After playing Dominoes we chatted for awhile...talked about going back to the point system...setting up rules for it...below is the rules....
-----------------------------------
Starting to night 15 feb

50 points for not obeying rules
If told to do something 5 times a week each day is 50
No maxium build until they are erased

you will be punished and Ill tell you how many points come 0ff,,,,,,,if spanking or whiping is used...1 point comes off for each lick,If its punishment  you can still crawl in lap and get played with...
if its NOT punishment you can crawl in lap  for gentle spanking

All punishment wiil not be licks

If your reluquent points will come off slowly if you coperative and willing they will come off faster
punishment can be Wearing clit clip,,,or a true hard spanking  or horse ride, or a good trashing with bamboo cane or gentle hand.
you could lose ever thing except jeans and shirt  fo a set amount of time.

I'll always tell you Its free time when we are talking rest of time when possable its M/s... ok that will work out in Public you may also use Sir.
---------------------------------

FEB....16th...SUNDAY

Went to bed as soon as got off line with Master.....had trouble sleeping still awake at 3:30am..got up and got a coke and took a half of nevre pill....layed down and watched some tv....woke up at 10am...Doug was already wake and called Matt to come over after him...so they can work more on the Derby cars...so another day byself again...guess i will work on the 4 plates i am suppose to do for a woman..
Haven't seen Master online this morning...guess He went to church.
Well going to get off of here right now and get the pictures on the plates...
Later

well is almost 4pm and haven't seen Master online today, got the pictures on the 4 plates just haven't painted around them yet will let them dry for about 15 minutes before i do the first coat.
Finished the plates...all but the clear coat to seal them.
Played some sheephead, nothing else to do...has been a boring kind of day...has turned cold.
Doug just came in...taking his bath...tammy is feeling better...kevins kidney stones is not bothering him as of right now...dr. said he only had one to pass.
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FEB....17th....Monday

Well journal today has been the start of another week, and being monday also makes it a long day,
work hasn't been busy today, and has moved slow.
Got home early due to me having my car...no school today since was a holiday.
Master was on line....when i got on...still not feeling good...talked about the story, been working on it also.
Got the first part of it done.
Bobby Jo called around 7pm and said Dr's office called and wanted me to call them as soon as possible, well as soon as possible will be tomorrow when i get to work....there office is closed now.
haven't been online uncase they called...will give them till 8pm..if not will call tomorrow at work.

Finished the first part of story...spunky is asleep now.
Got back on line...Master was on...said i did good with the story,
He left early saying He needed some sleep...i am about to get off of here also...is 10:40pm and have
50 points already don't need anymore..but wanted to finish another part to story which i did and is up.
Love You Master...and hope You have a great night...and sleep without any pain..
Lens/spunky

Here is the link to it.
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FEB...18th...Tuesday

Got up this morning, didn't sleep very good, wondering about what the dr's office wanted...got up at 5am, left Master a message...ready for work....which was slow again today....Called dr's office around 8am...all they wanted to tell me i needed to be at dr's office at 10:45am the day of surgery...not at his Hendersonville office but at the Madison office.
Made a appointment for Doug at the Dentist office for March 4th..
Master came online...said He didn't get up till 10am...slept some better...talked a little about the story,
and about the house..then He went to feed the critters.
Got off line and worked on changing the story to stories...making 4 new pages for it...
Got part 3 done...
all of it out on net.
Took bath..hair washed...now going to get off of here and get some things done around here...can tell its
going to rain again...hand is throbbing...
later

Master came online and we talked about story...enjoyed doing that...off at 10:15pm...
_________

FEB...19th...Wednesday

Up at 5am...left Master a message..got dressed for work...left for work around 6:45am...Damn truck was there waiting on me when i opened the back door....got things started with the buffet...Doug started putting stock up for me before he left to go to school at 7:30...Faye came in around 7:35am...and began to cutting the tomatoes and lettece...Bobby Jo came in around 8am....i put some biscuits in the oven to get done after i got the food going and Bobby Jo cooked the bacon and eggs..
Lunch was rather slow....everyone seemed in a good mood...Bobby Jo went and picked up my meds for me as he went to see his mother...
got home a little after 3pm....check to see if Master was online...had been left a message that He was going to feed the critters...so He had just went off line when i came on.
Worked on 4th part of story got it done and out on net...
Made a pot of coffee...is almost 6pm....haven't seen Master back online...
guess will get off of here and go get my bath....
later..
Got my bath and put a load of clothes in to wash.....Master came online...we played 2 games of 500 dominoes,
2 to 0 my favor...was around 10:30 when we got through...off line and went to bed...
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FEB...20th...Thursday

Geezee today has been one hell of a long day...thought it would never be 2pm...then having to wait till Doug picked me up...it was slow at work today....hope tomorrow is busier if business doesn't improve don't know what Bobby Jo will do.
haven't been home long...connect to internet...Master came online right after i did....
guess i will get off of here..and get some things done around here...
got story out.
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FEB...21st....Friday

Got up dressed for work, left Master a message...Doug rode with Chris to work so i had my car and
wouldn't have to wait for him to pick me up....Got home, did some things around here...
Master said His mother got sick and had to go to nursing home....and stay...Makes it hard on Him i know he is not well Himself...
Hand has really been hurting in this weather....wishing it will clear up...and turn pretty...
Master sent His part of the story, so will work on my part tomorrow....
we played a couple games of Dominoes.....2 to 0 ...my favor..grins
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FEB...22nd....Saturday

Wasn't in any hurry of getting up this morning....Doug took car and went over to steve's to help him..
Stormed most of the night....and still raining this morning...made a pot of coffee..and started writing on story,
got it done....washing some clothes....seems i am always washing dang clothes...Master had to be at nursing home this morning at 6:30am...so know He won't be online any...
Need to go to town an get a few things but really dont' want to get out....is 52 degrees here...had snow in the forecast for sunday, monday, and tuesday but it is now changed....Monday and Tuesday is supposed to be in the 40's with sunshine...

Is still raining off and on...wind is strong with strong wind gust at times.....haven't talked to tammy, guess if it is nice tomorrow morning Doug and i will go down there for awhile...
well going to get off of here...
later...