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Carrying My Soul Around
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© 2000 SoulGrrl

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 My spirit is moving.
 

And so I begin (again):
May 23, 2001



How can I tell?  Because I have grown some. Mostly on the inside. I have not written in a long, long while because I had to get out of thinking in and start thinking out. I have never done that before. Thinking about how things affect me, and how people see me, and how life treats me. I truly feel that the so-called 'inferiority complex' is really the baby in me insisting that she is still the center of the Universe. But I had the direction all wrong. I had the Universe pressing in on me. I really should be pressing out into the Universe. Getting to see the little God-bit in others in spite of the armor that they have designed to protect themselves. Paying attention to what people are saying not with their words, but with their gestures and their tones (dare I say "vibe"?). It is time to stop tuning 'in' and tune 'out'... put the old antenna up and see what comes by. Choose which station you will stay with for any given time, for sure... but try out as many 'sounds' as will see fit to drift over your airspace. Since I spoke to you, I have been working out. Have not lost much more weight because my eating habits are still not what they should be. I eat better, more efficient fuel, but still too much of it. In the long run, I feel much better and have lost about 7% body fat (I have a special scale). I also studied for and passed the 3-1/2 hour ACE (American Council on Exercise) exam for Personal Trainer. Of course, I learned so much more than I knew about health, fitness, body types and body image; motivation, behavior changes, strength... I do not yet see the finish tape, but I am definitely well into the heat of this journey. I am proud of me, and proud of you, for seeking out information on this thing that occupies far too much of your time and your love. There is enough for everybody. The more you give, the more is created, and it just about splashes all over the place. Love is no respector of persons, as my Latin friends like to say. You cannot buy it, you cannot bargain for it. It is either earned or it is not earned. The only way to earn it is to be willing to give it away. Smile now.



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