I wish they made a Febreze that destroyed the immenant stench of failure
Frantically biting my lower lip it finally dawns on me...If I really
had choice as to what I would do with the rest of my life, I would to be happy. And by happy I mean, I would pack up, move to some small agricultural/high drug trafficking country and start a melon farm with a small hut looking out onto the Pacific Ocean. And by that i clearly mean, do absolutely nothing all day. So what am I doing freezing my ass off in Stauffer Library at 1am on a Monday morning you ask? To tell you the truth I have no idea. But what I can
tell you is that the little fireplace they have in the reading room gives me the insatiable urge to roast some marshmallows.
The way I look at it, they have sprays that make shitty things smell good, so why don't they have sprays that make shitty situations better? I reek of immanent failure, and failure is shitty. Therefore I reek of shit. If fabreze can destroy the stench of shit, then i can surely cure me! So tonight, I will baptize myself in febreze with the hopes that it will cleanse my shit-laden soul.
I'll let you know how it goes.