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JE REVIENS: I WILL RETURN

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"And they overcame by the blood of the Lamb, the word of their testimony and they loved not their lives to the death." (Rev. 12)

SEPARATING YOURSELF UNTO GOD

"God shall give His angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways" (Psalm 91:11)

Separating or detaching yourself is the decisive action of releasing yourself from any illicit, unhealthy and unscriptural relationship, place, false belief or idealogy, so that you can be the person God wants you to be and to fulfill His will in your life. Label "toxic influences," such as abusive relationships, unsavory companions, or false doctrines that don't line up with God's Word, for what they truly are, and stop minimizing their negative impact in your life.

Where an unhealthy "control spirit" exists, identify aspects of your life from which you would be best to dissociate or detach yourself, in order to retain your physical, emotional, and spiritual health, or that of your children. People can use associations to bring one another under every form of spiritual bondage and phychological torture under the sun.

This may even mean disassociating yourself from those who have been close family friends, relatives. Isaiah the Prophet wrote: "Come my people, enter thou into thy chambers, and shut thy doors about thee. Hide yourself as it were for a little moment, till the ignation be overpast. (Isaiah 26:20)

The Psalmist prayed: Thou shalt hide them in the secret of thy presence, from the pride of man: thou wilt keep them secretly in a pavillion from the strife of tongues. (Psalm 31:20) Pray God's word over yourself and those you love. In WWI, there was a battalion that prayed Psalm 91 over themselves, and they were the only battalion that never lost a man. The other battalions lost up to 90% of their soldiers in the battles they fought.

"And he rode upon a cherub and did fly: yea He did fly upon the wings of the wind. He made darkness his secret place, his pavillion round about him were dark waters and thick clouds of the skies." (Psalm 18:11) And again: "For in the time of trouble, He shall hide me in His pavillion, in the secret of His tabernacle He shall hide me, He shall set me upon a Rock"." (Psalm 27:5) This is a place of being hidden in God, by God's grace. The Old Testament counterpart of the holy of holies in Psalm 91, is found in the phrase "In Mashiach/Christ." It's a place of hearing and discerning what God wants you to do. Of being guided by His right hand. Only God Almighty can reveal to you whether in the midst of your turmoil, He chooses to dwell with you in your own home, or to take you into a place of rest or respite in another physical locale.

BEING SEPARATED FROM YOUR FAMILY IF NEED BE

If it becomes apparent that you must relinquish custody of your children to the state for a time, and they will spend time in foster or institutional care, remember Moses. Moses parents had forewarning of the liklihood that their son would be removed from their custody. They moved swiftly to take action to save his life. His mother and father willingly let him go into care within the government, but their faith in God remained strong. Moses grew up into manhood within Pharaoh's court, raised by Pharaoh's daughter. As an adult, Moses heart turned again to his own people. God used him as a deliverer.

Concerning whether to move out of your home, or stay there, to some, God says: "Stay in your place," because it provides acountability for you and your family. Not only your place as a believer, that place of being a man, a woman, an intercessor, a person that regularly reads the scriptures, but remain in your home, so you can live life as normally as possible. But that job, or that home God has given you. Divorce is rampant today, because people are tempted in a confrontation to produce a "show of strength." When push comes to a shove, they move out and file a divorce at the slightest provocation. The scriptures tell us to do nothing out of strife or vain-glory! (Phil. 2:3) Often times, the trial is a spiritual attack that will endure for a brief season. You and your mate will both learn and grow from it. Faith coupled with patience in the season of trial, provides an example for the children of fidelity and stability. It provides security for children, to have at least one parent who has stability. That mate that thinks they want out of the marriage cannot take your home, or move someone new in, with you there, so these things are not the temptation they'd be with you gone. No matter how you feel, get up on time, bathe, and dress appropriately. Dress children modestly, and meet their basic physical, emotional and spiritual needs. At times a child can be sent to a friends house to spend the night. Some individuals become fearful, insecure and violent when things are not routine in their lives. Do what you can be create an atmosphere of peace and rest. Where teenagers or ones mate are involved in a lifestyle totally unlike this, this will represent a haven of rest. Do your household chores, cook meals, be as cordial as possible, guard your tongue from responding in ways that would ignite a quarrel. If you are in an actual war-zone in a country that is physically at war, God may lead you to disguise your appearance, or He can lead you to a hiding place so your life or family is preserved.

Be careful who your friends are, because this is a biblical principle, and that mate may later accuse your conduct in a court of law. Find your rest in God, through salvation and the baptism in the Holy Spirit and praying in the Spirit. (Is. 28:11, I Cor. 14:20) The mate may still choose to divorce you, but in such cases, you are not to feel guilty. The scriptures state: "Let the unbeliever depart." (I Corinthians 7:15) Till it's totally out of your control, in every way, obey God's admonition in I Cor. 7:27-33:

"Are you bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Seek not a wife. But and if you marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she has not sinned. Nevertheless, such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you. But this I say, brothers, the time is short: it remains, that both they that have wives be as though they had none; And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not; And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passes away. But I would have you to be free from cares. He that is unmarried cares for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord. But he that is married cares for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife."

Where the situation is more volatile, and you must leave for the safety of you and your family, don't threaten. Prepare quietly, and decisively. Gather your identification and family papers or documents, or have your own copies made. Rent a mailbox. Set money aside in the a bank account. Don't tell a lot of people where you are going. It may be wise not to give children, in-laws, relatives, family friends, or school authorities information they will pass on if interrogated by the spouse.

Where the scripture does not advocate divorce, or you cannot move out, or start a new job, you can distance yourself by beoming involved in a new hobby, transfering to another office within the workplace, volunteer in your child's daycare or Mom's of Preschoolers group, study the scriptures with a group, join a prayer group, learn something new, focus on other people, join a house of worship, take a class, have more contact with friends. How does this help? It removes you from source of conflict, even temporarily. An example is a woman who has a teen that is verbally or physically abusive. Suddenly she is not there when he gets home from school. He has to find something else to do with his time.

It provides those that have been belittled to the point where they feel they can't do anything, a place where you can use your skills successfully. One woman called an organization and said she was a displaced homemaker, had raised children, and couldn't do anything. The receptionist said: Sister, you could not have raised 3 children and not know how to do anything. Assess your skills, and add what you feel is necessary. It can be very encouraging to learn a new skill, and even if you are unable to afford a class, there are books and other free resources at the local public library. Our primary sense of confidence, esteem, or achievement comes from knowing God and being known of Him. But we do derive a certain joy from developing our talents and it's God who commands that we be faithful stewards of all that He gives.

YESHUA: THE ANCHOR OF OUR SOULS

When trouble comes we believe on Yeshua haMashiach/Jesus Christ, and do not abandon all hope! In Yeshua/Jesus, we have the living Mashiach/Christ as our anchor within the veil, as the writers of the epistle to the Hebrews teaches us. (Hebrews 10:20) Submit yourself to God, resist the bondage of this spirit and it will flee from you. (James 4:7) Often times in a situation what is needed is for us to recognize that the spiritual thing to do is to detach from our own ego! Through the prayer of repentance, acknowledge that you have taken false responsibility which is not yours for this person or thing. Pray and commit the situation to the Lord daily or as often as need be.

HEALTHY DETACHMENT IS:

ABUSIVE CONTROL ISSUES

Contained here, is a list of approximately a dozen types of abusive control. Some of these may be above and beyond anything you have ever conceived of as abusive or illegal, such as the broad spectrum of economic abuse. Since women comprise such a large percentage of the job market, it is illegal to prevent them from doing as they wish with their own money.

In some cases these definitions of abuse may have been recently clarified, redefined, or classified so that various states can receive funding from the U.S. government. In some cases, it may be difficult to obtain help for women, for theft, but as "economic abuse," it's valid. Or these may have been extended for more detailed inclusion in Homeland Security files since the Sept. 11, 2001 bombings. Be aware of your constitutional rights, as well as what is considered illegal. If an allegation is made against you, realize these remain on file as part of your records forever.

Domestic elder abuse Institutional elder abuse Self-neglect or self-abuse

Slapping, kicking, shoving, pinching, hair pulling, burning, punching or causing injury with an object or weapon, deliberate exposure to severe weather, grabbing, shaking, or rough handling when providing care, unnecessary physical restraint, confinement. Any sexual contact or activity that does not involve an older individual's full understanding and consent. Subjecting an unwilling viewer to pornographic materials. Exhibitionism/voyeurism or engaging in offensive verbal and non-verbal behaviours of a sexual nature. Using the victim to produce pornographic materials, or allowing others sexual access to the older individual.

Psychological abuse, any verbal or psychological attack which provokes fear, severe mental anguish, emotional distress, or anxiety and results in loss of dignity and self-esteem. Humiliation, isolation, intimidation and/or threats. Chronic put-downs, criticism, blaming, name-calling or infantalization. Inappropriate control of the older individual’s activities. Removal of decision-making power when the older person is still competent to make his or her own decisions.

Financial abuse: Any actions, with or without the knowledge and/or consent of an older adult, which result in the loss of money, property or other possessions. Misuse of the older individual's money, property or other possessions through fraud, forgery or extortion. Theft or misuse of pension cheques and/or funds through persuasion, deceit or other forms of emotional manipulation. Forcing an older individual to change a will or sell personal property. Misuse of power of attorney, joint bank account, an older individual's credit card(s) or bank card(s)

Neglect: The failure or refusal by someone who has assumed a caregiving responsibility to provide for the needs of an older adult who is unable to independently meet his/her own needs. The unintentional failure to fulfill one's caregiving obligations - without conscious or willful intent - is seen as passive neglect, while the deliberate or intentional withholding of adequate care is viewed as active neglect.) Inadequate provision of food, water, clothing, shelter or other necessaries of life. Failure or refusal to provide required medications, medical treatment, personal care, other necessary services, or needed aids/equipment such as walkers, eyeglasses, dentures, hearing aids, etc.

WHO ARE THE ABUSED?

"Now also when I am old and grey headed, O God, forsake me not; until I have shewed thy strength unto this generation, and thy power to every one that is to come." (Psalms 71:18)

While state definitions may vary, in most states, definitions of elder abuse generally fall within these 3 categories.

Domestic elder abuse, or the abuse of elders in the home, generally refers to any of several forms of maltreatment of an older person by someone who has a special relationship with the elder (a spouse, a sibling, a child, a friend, or a caregiver), that occur in the elder’s home, or in the home of a caregiver.

Institutional abuse, on the other hand, generally refers to any of the above-mentioned forms of abuse that occur in residential facilities for older persons (e.g., nursing homes, foster homes, group homes, board and care facilities). Perpetrators of institutional abuse usually are persons who have a legal or contractual obligation to provide elder victims with care and protection (e.g., paid caregivers, staff, professionals).

  • DRUG ABUSE

    Drug abuse is the illegal use of drugs despite the social, emotional, economical or physical harm they may cause the individual, his family and society. Neither repented they of their murders, nor of their sorceries (5331), nor of their fornication, nor of their thefts. (Revelation 9:21)

    Strong's Greek Dictionary of the New Testament links drug abuse to "sorcery," through which all nations shall be deceived, because the Greek term PHARMAKEIA, speaks of drug use and music used as ritual. Rev. 9:21 addresses the immorality i.e. "fornications," accompanying drug use, as well as the theft to pay for illegal drugs.

    5331 pharmakeia; from 5332; medication ("pharmacy"), i.e. (by extension) magic (literally or figuratively):--sorcery, witchcraft.

    5332 pharmakeus; from pharmakon (a drug, i.e. spell-giving potion); a druggist ("pharmacist") or poisoner, i.e. (by extension) a magician:--sorcerer.

    Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft (5331), hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. (Galatians 5:19-21) "A man is a slave to whatever has mastered him." (2 Peter 2:19)

    But the Bible also offers hope through a belief and trust in God: "So if the Son sets you free, you will indeed be free." (John 8:36)

  • ALCOHOL ABUSE

    The definition of alcohol abuse, is dependence or addiction,chronic heavy drinking, intoxication or binge drinking. Alcohol use resulting in impairment of health.

    Both the Old and New Testaments contain many examples and commands against excessive use of alcohol and drunkenness. Drunkenness is one of the works of the flesh listed in Gal. 5:21. It's the result of the undisciplined, indiscriminate use of alcohol. Jesus warned his followers not to be drunk. (Luke 21:34).

    The Apostle Paul told the Corinthian church to "put away from among yourselves"--to have nothing to do with a person who is a drunkard. (1 Cor. 5:11-13). This is a reference to people who refuse to acknowledge or to try to overcome drinking problems, not people who are working on and overcoming their problems. The Bible says that drunkards will not enter the kingdom of God (1 Cor. 6:9-10, Gal. 5:21). Nobody who abuses alcohol should be a minister. (1 Tim. 3:3, 8, Tit. 1:7). Alcohol abusers are committing sin (Prov. 23:20-21, Isa. 28:1-8). Alcohol abuse mocks and deceives. (Prov. 20:1). Those who "tarry long over wine" and spend their time drinking, will find all kinds of trouble and sorrow. (Prov. 23:29-30). Paul commands replacing drunkenness on alcohol with being "drunk" in the Holy Spirit. "Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead be filled with the Holy Spirit." (Eph 5v18).

    The church in Corinth contained drunkards who had been washed, cleansed, and justified from their sins by Yeshua/Jesus. (1 Corinthians 6:9-11) He is the author of eternal salvation, able to save to the uttermost those who turn to Him in obedience. (Hebrews 5:9; 7:25)

    WHY DO PEOPLE REMAIN IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP?

  • Love: They want their relationship to work and are willing to endure, hoping and praying things will change for the better. They may feel they are exercizing faith in the partners promises, that these will yet materialize.
  • Threats to physically harm or kill the spouse or children. Give your life to Yeshua haMashiach/Jesus Christ, and become filled with the Holy Spirit. (Read Acts 9) Through the power of the indwelling Holy Spirit, God will lead and protect you, help you find a place of safety, even showing you things in dreams and visions before they occur. (John 16:13)
  • Religion

    Most religions strongly discourage divorce and the breakup of the family. The ideals are admirable, but when abuse is involved, the scriptures side with not accomodating adultery, and forms of abuse. But, a woman who has strong religious convictions can feel an enormous pressure if she feels that others will view her choice to leave as a lack of faith.

    Denial: They may not believe they are being abused. In order to remain in the relationship, they've found ways to explain away mistreatment, both emotional or physical. They may feel that they can "handle" it or avoid serious incidents.

    Battered men say they stay out of shame and embarrassment: What will my friends, family, colleagues or neighbors think if they knew a woman beat me up?

    They fear the abusive spouse will obtain custody of children if they leave, through lies, cleverness, or because they have a larger, more unified or more powerful family, or better financial base.

    Lack knowledge of women's shelters for themselves and their children or other support systems or resource centers. Or in the area in which they live, these are no safer than the abusive place where they currently reside.

    "Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who trusts in Him! (—Psalm 34:8)
    The Hebrew text for the phrase of this verse which means "trust in," comes from a Hebrew word that means "to take refuge in" or "to hide in" or "to hide with." It suggests a secret place, a hiding place or place of concealment. There are examples in the bible of God warning people exactly when to leave with their children, and to go into hiding, as well as when to return, after it was safe. The book of Matthew, chapter two, tells that an evil king named Herod wanted to kill the baby Jesus. Joseph was given a dream to take Jesus and his mother and to flee into Egypt for a time, as protection from Herod. They were to stay in Egypt until it was safe to return to Israel. They left, and stayed in Egypt until the death of Herod. Then an angel of the Lord appeared in a dream to Joseph saying arise and take the young child and his mother back to Israel,for they that sought the young childs life are dead."In Luke 4:29, we see an example of a group's attempt to assassinate Yeshua/Jesus. There are various testimonies of God even making people invisible in an emergency. As they rose up and began heading toward Messiah to throw him off a cliff, we read:

    "And rose up, and thrust him out of the city, and led him unto the brow of the hill whereon their city was built, that they might cast him down headlong. 30) But he passing through the midst of them he was suddenly gone."

    GOD AIDS THOSE NOT WANTING TO ACCOMODATE EVIL

    There's a story of a woman in the Old Testament of the bible whose name was Jael. (Judges 4, Judges 5::6-24) She had a relative relationship in which the relative was a military man, the captain of the army of Jabin, king of Hazor. Judges 5 shows him able to act in an independant capacity. The man, whose name was Sisera resided in Harosheth of the Gentiles, a place identified with el-Harithiyeh, on the right bank of the Kishon and commanding the way from the Central Plain to the sea. Sisera tried to force Jael to accomodate his criminal activity, by providing hospitality through which he might utilize her home as a base of operations. But Jael was a woman with exceptional faith and courage in God. She had a husband who was related to the enemy and she probably had children. The situation was that the nation of Israel was at war. The Prophetess Deborah had urged Barak to combine the forces of Israel to wage war with Sisera as the representative of Jabin, the king of Hazor. The scene of the battle was at the foot of the slopes of Mt. Tabor. (Judges 4:12-14) Or at the foot of the heights of Mt. Carmel. (Judges 5:19) Sisera was an oppressor with 900 chariots of iron.

    The military assault by Barak and Deborah was great, and the host of the enemy was routed. Sisera, deserting his troops, fled on foot. In the northeast, near Kedesh he sought refuge in the tent of Heber the Kenite, the husband of Jael. She acted discreetly in faith concerning what she planned to do about the whole situation. But she took decisive action to eliminate him and his influence from her house-hold. Siser's defeat is celebrated in the Song of Deborah found in the scriptures in Judges 5. The Rabbai Akiba who fought valiently in the Jewish war for independance as standard bearer to Bar-cocheba, was descended from the ancient warlike Sisera of Harosheth.

    The Lord is not limited to "homeless shelters" to assist and protect you, and these are not the only option. Pray for God's guidance, if He puts it on your heart to go to one, do it. Christian missions consider it their mission in life to help people make a new start in life. But everyones experience at shelters in general, is not a happy one. One young man told of homeless sleeping with their shoes on so they wouldn't be stolen from other homeless men in the shelter. His were stolen from his feet in the middle of the night. If the shelter happens to be filled with heroin addicts, prostitutes, etc. you'd better pray and carefully weigh the cost of leaving home. To go to the wrong one can be a poor influence on young children, if the women are using filthy language, and openly discussing their trade with other prostitutes at the shelter. If God leads you to go, then do it trusting in the Lord. Even homeless people are aware that the quality of shelters varies, and some are better than others. Be selective, ask around for advise, concerning any aspect which concerns you.

    Be aware that other state agencies will probably become involved in your case, leading to court proceedings, but you can obtain a "Restraining Order" at no financial cost to you to protect you during this process. They have no family or social support network of people who are in a position to help them.

    They have dependent children and family responsibilities.

    Yeshua/Jesus loves both you and your children. Dependant children is one thing that actually leads women to seek help. Their children are impacted by the abusive situation.

    Lack job skills to support themselves and children.

    The belief that it's a woman's job to keep peace in the family and to keep the family unit together.

    They are accustomed to violence in the family and feel it's normal.

    Lack money, car, or property in their own name.

    Lack money or appropriate clothes for job search.

    Lack access to transportation, day care, or job skills training.

    They lack knowledge of their legal right to safety and free or low cost legal services available to them.

    THE ROAD TO RECOVERY

    The ability to "distance yourself" in a healthy way emotionally, physically and spiritually from those spirits which are not of God, or from individuals who yield themselves to demonic spirits is crucial. The place to start is by giving your own life to Yeshua/Jesus. (Acts 2:38)

    • Hear and receive the Gospel of Yeshua haMashich/Jesus Christ

      (John 5:24: Acts 15:7; Romans 10:17; Revelation 3:20).

      Believe on the Yeshua haMashiach/Lord Jesus Christ.
      He is God robed in flesh, the Everlasting Father, The True and Living God. He came to earth and voluntarily died on the cross for the sins of all mankind.

    • Believe that Yeshua/Jesus arose from the dead
      in order that we may have eternal life. (Mark 16:16; John 3:16-18; John 8:24; John 11:25-26; John 20:31; Acts 16:31; Romans 10:9-10; Hebrews 11:6; 1 Peter 1:8-9).

    • Repent of your sins
      (Luke 13:3-5; Acts 2:38; Acts 17:30; 2 Corinthians 7:10; 2 Peter 3:9). Confess before others that Jesus is your Lord and Savior (Matthew 10:32; Romans 10:9-10; 2 Timothy 2:19; 1 John 1:9).

    • Be immersed in Baptism (Mikveh Mayim)
      In the name of Yeshua haMashiach/Jesus Christ.
      (Matthew 28:18-20; Mark 16:16; Acts 2:38-41; Acts 22:16; Romans 6:3-5; Galatians 3:26-27; Titus 3:5-7; 1 Peter 3:18-22). Stand firm (Matthew 10:22; Matthew 24:13; Mark 13:13; Luke 21:19; 1 Timothy 4:16; Hebrews 10:36; James 1:12).
    • Ask God to Fill You With the Holy Spirit
      With the evidence of speaking in tongues. (Acts 10:46-48, Acts 1:4, Acts 19:6)
    • Find a good house of worship.

    Read God's Word. Becoming filled with the Holy Spirit will give you discernment, wisdom, warning when you are in need of protection and godly self-control. It does not mean that you lack compassion as a Christian or do not care. It's the realization you cannot control the behaviour of another. Those who control others in this manner, usually have a number of skills with which they can take care of themselves quite well.

    Detaching yourself from the person or situation, means that you will not enable them to stay the way they are through your own negative and destructive behavioural patterns, such as taking the blame for the way they are, or the losses in their life, paying financially for their bills or other needs to buy yourself a temporary sense of peace or safety. But you allow them to grow up in Christ in all things by being chastened by their Heavenly Fathers loving hand, and learning from natural consequences. Be wise and pray for God's guidance. Trust Him to provide you with the necessary finances if need be to leave.

    You will cease protecting the other individual from all adversity, for the trying of your faith as well as theirs is more precious than gold tried in the fire. The trial of your FAITH, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth. (1 Peter 1:7) You will stop blaming yourself or others in the matter, but will yield to God fully in your own life. It's to permit another to face reality. You will accept God's will and no longer will you live in denial. You will live your life in praise and thanksgiving to God and not in remorse over the past which you cannot change.

    Tom & Alana Campbell 5214 South 2nd Avenue Everett, Washington 98203-4113

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    Email: adazio@lycos.com