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The Romantic Tip of the Week - "I T ' S T H E L I T T L E T H I N G S - Going to the swankiest restaurant or hotel in town just for cocktails". [http://www.theromantic.com.]

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Wednesday, September 27, 2000 - Metro - http://www.clubmetro.com -"Playboy Playmate sues hubby's estate - CELEBRITIES - Playboy Playmate Anna Nicole Smith goes to court tomorrow seeking half of her late nonagenarian husband's billion-dollar estate. Smith says oil tycoon Howard Marshall promised her half of his $1.6 billion fortune to marry him after they met in a Houston topless bar. Smith, than a 26-year-old stripper, accepted and said she lived in wedded bliss for 14 months before her 90-year-old husband died in August 1995. Stepson Pierce Marshall, 6l, says his father lavished his young wife with millions of dollars in gifts, but never included her in any of his six wills. (Reuters)" [THIS PAGE WILL CONTINUE HERE @ Solitary Confinement (click!).]

ArcaMax Celebrity Gossip - "RICKY MARTIN SAYS BEING RISKY ON STAGE SENDS AN OK MESSAGE Ricky Martin makes no excuses for his sexually charged songs. He said on VH1 that some of his songs do push the envelope, but he often alerts the audience to this fact by telling them he is shifting into his "I don't care" mode. He responds to criticism that some of his songs are too suggestive for young audiences by saying that young teenagers are more sexually active than adults like to admit. Martin feels he needs to address the topic for young listeners. He says parents must be taught that "it's time to talk about what's happening out there." He says he will continue to send the safe sex message to sexually active young people." [sex-in-culture-subscribe@egroups.com"].

September 27, 2000 - "TipWorld - The Internet's #1 Source for Computer Tips, News, and Gossip - Proudly presents: Tipworld's HollyWired Gossip Column. And now for today's tip... SEXY STARS (AND THEIR MATES) GET PROPS - This month's issue of InStyle asks stars, "Who is the sexiest star alive?" The answers might surprise you. Both "Loser" star JASON BIGGS and "Bev Hills 90210" gal JENNIE GARTH said that unconventional beauty JULIE ROBERTS was the sexiest. JIM CARREY said, "If I can't vote for myself, I'd say RENEE ZELLWEGER, absolutely..." (Aww.) Actresses ANGELINA JOLIE and SARAH JESSICA PARKER also named their significant others--BILLY BOB THORNTON and MATTHEW BRODERICK--tops." [Ask me if I care.]

Today Tonight - September 26, 2000 - page 30 - "300 want to bare all on Net show" - by Vanessa Thomas - "Imagine living with a camera in your face 24 hours a day of an entire year as the star of a new live internet program. About 300 men and women, ages 19 to 34, lined up at The Cumberland theatre yesterday for a chance to do just that. All were auditioning to appear on the reality-based internet television program U8TV, which follows in the footsteps of hit real-life shows like Survivor and Big Brother. Eight Canadians will be chosen from this week's one-day auditions in Toronto, Vancouver and Montreal. Then they will live rent-free in a downtown Toronto loft for a year under the constant glare of cameras and receive a $30,000 annual salary. For a taste of what's to come, consider this: At each five-minute audition, participants were asked questions like, 'What's the wildest thing you've ever done?' and 'Give me 30 seconds on the topic of SEX', and 'How would your partner feel about you guys possibly MAKING OUT ON CAMERA?' 'I'm totally in for this type of thing,' said Teddy Wakim, a 20-year-old auditioner. 'I have no problem with walking around BUCK NAKED. I'd eat a rat but I'd cook it first. But I wouldn't HAVE SEX ON CAMERA -- no way.' Starting in the fall, the 'lofters', will also host entertainment and lifestyle programs like Dare U, where lofters might just challenge TORONTO MAYOR MEL LASTMAN to a thumb wrestling match, and Shower Hour, featuring a 'shoulders-up' nude view of lofters in the shower, said Fiorella Grossi, co-founder and president of programming at U8TV. An edited version of the webcast will also be shown on U8Life, a half-hour television show on the Life Network. 'We're looking for cool people who are not afraid to express their feelings,' said Grossi. 'You're not going to see HARD-CORN PORN, but you're gonna see people getting intimate. It's just a look at life'." [Yeah, look at ours, we have to live with this on top of police threats for exposing illegal entrapment on legal and activist activities.] - gtatoday@gtatoday.ca. [castingcouch-subscribe@egroups.com] [sex-in-culture-subscribe@egroups.com"].

ifeminists.com - "Japanese police make first wireless porn arrests by William Auckerman. Japan. Description: Japanese police have arrested two men for creating Web sites containing "porn" that could be downloaded through a cellular phone service. According to an earlier ruling, even linking to a site containing obscene or illegal materials can be considered a crime in Japan. (9/21/00)"

September 26, 2000 - sjmail.com - "Today's Sexual Trivia: The richest man in the United Kingdom is Paul Raymond who among other things, owns nightclubs and publishes sex magazines." [Men can get rich from sex, but women can't make ends meet with it.]

SexOffender.gov - Megan's Law on the Internet? (Associated Press) "New Jersey and federal courts have sharply restricted public notices of sex offenders 'presence to protect the offenders' right to confidentiality. If voters agree Nov. 7, the state that passed the original Megan's Law will become the first to amend its Constitution to allow the Legislature to create a state registry of molesters and pedophiles and make it available on the Internet, the state attorney general's office says." findlaw.news.

Infobeat - "Sheen agrees with film criticisms -DAYTON, Ohio (AP) - Actor Martin Sheen says he agrees with Democratic vice presidential candidate Joseph Lieberman's criticisms of the film industry. "Half the business called Hollywood is SLEAZE," Sheen said [agree] Saturday during a visit to his hometown to raise money for Democratic candidates and attend charity events. "Lieberman is absolutely right. He's one of the few politicians who's willing to stand up and say that," Sheen said. "A lot of what we do has very little to do with art. It has to do with SLEAZE and GRATUITOUS SEX and unnecessary violence." [agree] Sheen, who plays President Josiah Bartlet in the White House-based television drama "The West Wing," is a longtime supporter of Democratic candidates. He has been arrested 70 times for his involvement in protests for issues ranging from nuclear disarmament to the homeless. He also expressed confidence that Democratic presidential candidate Al Gore will defeat Republican George W. Bush in the presidential election Nov. 7. "Al Gore is distancing himself by being himself," he said."

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September 25, 2000 - Entertainment Backwire - "People - THE SOFTER SIDE OF SARAH JESSICA PARKER The real Parker is not so very Carrie. Plus, how does she really get along with those other Sex kittens? WHAT'S EATING LEO DICAPRIO? Is that Tony Soprano or Leonardo DiCaprio porking out on the Gangs of New York set? Plus, Daryl Hannah says she's repulsed by strippers--even though she plays one on the big screen. FOX - WILD WILD WEB SHOWS Web execs plan to give the networks a run for their money this fall, with raunchy cybercasts targeted at men in their prime (who else?)."

September 25, 2000 - "AAA Jokes - Sep. 25, 2000 - A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR - HAVE FUN WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX. Make them wonder why they can't keep their hands off you. So much fun, it should be illegal. Promote thoughts of sex, love and romance with sexual attractants with pheromones. Customers report they work! Satisfaction guaranteed. Power up your sex appeal today! As seen on TV."Click.

September 23, 2000 - Bizarre News-"Brothel Customers Shanghaied in Shanghai - Those Lishui County police are clever. In order to generate a little extra cash deputy chief Gao Mingliang and his sub- ordinates set up a brothel disguised as a restaurant in May of last year. When the girls lured customers into the back room the police would bust in and drag the unhappy John to the station where he would be "fined." The girls would even get performance bonuses depending on how well they did. The scam fell apart when the brothel owner was arrested by an officer from a neighboring department, but not before deputy chief Gao Mingliang and his boys racked up over 80,000 yuan. ***** Accident Victim Given Viagra to Rectify Wrong Dong - Hong Kong - A 52-year old Hong Kong man who said being hit by a motorcycle hurt his sex life has been awarded a year's supply of Viagra as part of his court settlement. The South China Morning Post reports the judge awarded Cook Chan Kwun- tak $550 to purchase the medication. The money is part of a $320,000 compensation package for Chan, who was hit by a motorcycle in June 1997. Chan originally asked for $5,500 worth of Viagra -- enough for a 10-year supply -- to solve his sexual problems. But the judge ruled there was no reasonable evidence a 10-year treatment was necessary. This is the first time a Hong Kong court has awarded money for Viagra." [I can't believe the hypocrisy and male-oriented world culture today.]

September 22, 2000 - National Post - page C4 - 'Real' Guys have an ex not SEX, says Molson - by Paul Brent - "Beer and sex are inextricably intertwined, a fact to which any television viewer can attest. On the whole, beer ads depict beautiful people having a great time, with the unspoken promise that sex will take place jus minutes after the camera stops whirring. The marketers at Molson Inc. have turned the beer-equals-sex cliche onto its head in a new Export ad campaign that depicts doughy 'real' guys complaining they are getting too much sex...the first three spots allowed the beer maker to say sex -- a lot. The s-word is used seven times in the introductory ad and appears three times and six times in the follow-up commercials." -(Financial Post - rgibbens@mon.nationalpost.com.) Page B20 - Porn star addresses famed Dublin debating society - A British porn star will address one of Dublin's most respected debating societies today, following in the footsteps of former South African president F.W.deKlerk and actor Richard E. Grant. Wendy Taylor, a pornographic magazine model and video actor, will join a debate sponsored by the Literary Historical Society of University College Dublin, the society said. Taylor will speak against the motion that "porn causes more pain than pleasure." She will be opposed by speakers who include David McCoy, an Irish man whose wife was raped and murdered by an attacker McCoy believes was influenced by pornography. [I can't believe the insanity. I wonder how they treat their hookers there. Do they give them equal rights to the porn?]

Entertainment Backwire - "Entertainment Weekly- WHO'S BEEN HIDING IN THE SUPPLY CLOSET? It was only a matter of time. Dr. Carrie Weaver--ER's pursed-lipped administrator--finally gets a lesbian lover. Gist TV - NOT-SO-HOLY BEHAVIOR - Jason Priestly goes bleeping crazy during a news interview about his new documentary on the Barenaked Ladies."

"FIDGET LATE NIGHT SOUP- September 22, 2000- Compiled by J.P. Strange- PLAYBOY FOR MARRIED MEN- LATE NIGHT JOKE OF THE WEEK: "Playboy is coming out with a magazine for married men - every month the same centerfold." - CRAIG KILBORN on The Late Late Show ***** DAVID LETTERMAN ON THE LATE SHOW: [Al Gore was a guest on this show] "Today they found a West Nile hooker." JAY LENO ON THE TONIGHT SHOW: "Did you read that new book that says CLINTON sent his lawyer in to tell HILLARY he'd been cheating on her? He could handle the lying, but he needed a lawyer to tell the truth. He sent his mouthpiece to tell Hillary about his mouthpiece." "Good news for GEENA DAVIS. The lining for her Grammy dress finally arrived." "At the Olympics two Chinese women rowers tested positive for a banned substance - testicles. Did you see the opening ceremony? They lit the torch by tossing a Firestone tire into the pool. No Cuban swimmer has ever won an Olympic medal. All the best ones have swum to the U.S. And how about the modern pentathalon? They shoot a gun, and then they run. We've had that in L.A. for years." "On OPRAH today GEORGE W. BUSH was heckled by a man in the audience. Oprah said in 15 years that's the first time that ever happened. Not the heckling. A man in the audience. Bush said he used to drink to forget. Now he can forget without drinking. And Bush pulled a GORE and kissed Oprah. At least Clinton did all his kissing in the privacy of the Oval Office." "At the Olympics each athlete gets 51 condoms. The losers come home with no medals and 51 condoms. But if you use 51 condoms, can you still call yourself an amateur?" "WEN HO LEE got out of solitary, and all he said was, 'On Survivor, the naked guy won?!'" "Did you see where they now have a drive-thru strip joint in Pennsylvania? They were also going to have the women talk dirty, but you can't understand them through those tinny speakers." "The new Viagra ads have the warning that if you're aroused more than four hours you should call your doctor. I'd call the Guinness Book of World Records. Anyway, what if you're not attracted to your doctor?" "One third of women surveyed said they worry about what they look like during sex. That's why I always turn off the dashboard lights." "An assistant pastry chef at the White House is suing her boss, the head pastry chef, for sexual harassment. Isn't that unbelievable - a straight pastry chef." "Scientists are now saying humans can get herpes from apes. At least that's what Tarzan told Jane." ***** JON STEWART ON THE DAILY SHOW: "GEORGE W. BUSH sits on OPRAH'S couch. Sexual tension very high. Bush appeared on Oprah today, or, as he calls it, GERALDO. Bush pulled a Gore, surprising Oprah with a very public kiss and a very private tongue. He leaked tears when he recalled the births of his two daughters by Caesar salad section." "Our next guests are BARENAKED LADIES. A lot of nudity. Not many ladies." "RODHAM 'n' Creep: Who won the debate between HILLARY CLINTON and RICK LAZIO? People who went to bed early. But Lazio, who looks like he's got the best fake i.d. ever, proved he was not afraid to reach out to the gay community: 'I'm not ashamed to say I'm a partner of Governor George Pataki.'" "GEORGE WASHINGTON'S diaries have been released. It turns out 'crossing the Delaware' is a euphemism for sexual experimentation." **** CONAN O'BRIEN ON LATE NIGHT: "The White House pastry chef is being sued for sexual harassment - for a cream puff that wasn't supposed to be." "MADONNA says she's bored with the press. 'Interviewers all ask the same questions; we have sex; and they leave.'" ***** CRAIG KILBORN ON THE LATE LATE SHOW: "ELTON JOHN said if he were an American, he'd vote for AL GORE. Gore said if he were gay, he'd listen to Elton's music." "ADAM WEST turned 72 today. He spent the day fighting his archenemy Captain Prostate." "MELISSA ETHERIDGE and JULIE CYPHER have broken up. If two starry-eyed lesbians who had two children artificially inseminated by DAVID CROSBY can't make it, who can?" "There's now a sex manual for dogs. Now you can teach your dogs to do it Courtney-style." "Some 80,000,000 Americans are going to watch the Olympics from the comfort of their own fat asses. Speaking of the Olympics, for old times' sake, today the Atlanta police arrested RICHARD JEWELL." "At the top of People Magazine's worst-dressed list: RICHARD HATCH from Survivor. A town in Rhode Island declared a Richard Hatch Day, but if he takes his clothes off, he'll be voted off Rhode Island." "The Netherlands has become the first country to recognize gay marriages. Here's a personal message to HARVEY FIERSTEIN. Pack your bags, Peaches. We're going Dutch." "GERALDO RIVERA and Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire bride DARVA CONGER are dating. You can send them a gift from Bed Bath & Publicity Whores." "CHARLIE SHEEN claims to have had sex with 5,000 women. So does every guy." "ALEC BALDWIN says if George W. wins, he'll move out of the country. If Bush can get all the Baldwins to make the same pledge, he may have a winning strategy." "CHER will be voting for GORE, but her buttocks will be voting for BUSH." "JOHN GOODMAN plays a gay father in his new TV series, and ROSEANNE guest-stars on the first episode, presumably showing why he turned gay." "The L.A. bus strike has stranded thousands of commuters. COURTNEY LOVE is still willing to ride anyone." ***** IF CELEBRITIES MATED: Late Night With CONAN O'BRIEN shows the child that would result if HOWARD STERN and ANGIE EVERHEART mated. Conan says, "We here at the show possess computer technology so sophisticated it could be used to help cure cancer or bring about world peace, but we're using it for this." See for yourself at Click.

September 22, 2000 - National Post - page A8 - Toronto embraces Barenaked Ladies - Popular band once banned over name - by Mark Gollom- The Barenaked Ladies received Toronto's highest honour yesterday in the same square from which they were once barred from performing because their name was deemed offensive to women. [Who thinks things have changed? I see lots of women's movements on the internet revealing quite the opposite.] In what can be classified as part apology, part commendation, the five-member Toronto group was awarded a key to the city...When contacted by the National Post, Ms. [ex-Mayor June] Rowlands denied she ever banned the group and said she was out of the city when the protocol office "overreacted" by barring them from performing. [Now it's my turn to "overreact".]

sjmail.com - Daily Sexual Trivia - "In the movie 'Pretty Woman', Julia Roberts had a body double for her sexy scenes." [Wasn't this a romantic comedy?]

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Celebrity Hack - "Who Wants To Marry Geraldo? -- 09.19.00- The New York Daily News reports that Ms. Darva Conger of "Who Wants To Marry a Multimillionaire" and Playboy fame is dating talk show snob Geraldo Rivera. It's too early for marriage plans, though -- Geraldo is still in the middle of divorcing his wife of 19 years. [Hack] Don't count Rick Rockwell out just yet, Geraldo. When he hits you with a chair, you stay hit.*** Sex and the Bratty -- 09.18.00- Our favorite teen princess Britney Spears claims to be just like the sex-obsessed women on the HBO series "Sex and the City." In an interview with Elle, Britney particularly identifies with Sarah Jessica Parker's character Carrie. "I'm her," proclaims Spears. "And all of the things they talk about are so true." [Hack] And an 18-year-old self-proclaimed virgin would know because...?"

ifeminists.com - "Drive-through nudity in Philadelphia- Author: Kristen Hays- State: PA, Country: United States-URL. Description: "In a country that provides everything from drive-through burgers to drive-through aspirin, a strip club near Pittsburgh has a new feature for those who can't stop in for lap dances -- drive-through nudity." (9/11/00)" [But if you strip in a private hotel room, you get busted - all over the U.S.; this is antisocial.]

From: musicnews@mp3.com Subject: "Sexy Thighs," Eminem, Personal Song Picks and More! Date: Thursday, September 21, 2000 3:04. Hello , C'mon--sexy thighs? Just try to tell us we don't know what you like. This email gives you the lowdown on all the hottest music, latest news and coolest offers online. IN THIS ISSUE: * Sexy Thighs: We've Got 'Em * Eminem: The Marshall Mathers LP (Explicit Lyrics) ===( Sponsor ) Experience Sephora.com for the world's largest selection of fragrance, cosmetics and skincare products. Get one of Sephora's Sexy Looks. /// Your Personal Song Picks- /// Sexy Thighs: We've Got 'Em- "Sexy Thighs" (think "Baby Got Back" 2000) is guaranteed to make your next party bounce. Hear this rowdy cut. /// Eminem: The Marshall Mathers LP (Explicit Lyrics) Eminem, the chart-jumping rapper, earned a share of the top MTV Music Video Award spots with votes for Video of the Year, Best Rap Video and Best Male Video. Buy his winning album, "The Marshall Mathers LP," at an awesome price for only $10.95 at buy.com, the Internet Superstore! Get Eminem Now!

Thursday, September 21, 2000 - (email ad) - "From: tomcra@prontomail.com Subject: BETTER THAN SEX!!! Learn the Secrets of $100,000 Earners! ABSOLUTELY FREE TO JOIN! Start Today!"

"Today's Sexual Trivia: 85% of all men who die of heart attacks while having sex are doing what? Cheating on their wives." - sjmail.com

Wednesday, September 20, 2000 - National Post - page A22 - Barenaked Ladies take key from city that banned them [Toronto] - Political Climate Change - [A thump on the head to:] "Women, prepare to be objectified: The Barenaked Ladies are coming to Nathan Phillips Square. The same spot on which the five-member Scarborough group was once banned from performing will now be the site where they receive a key to the city tomorrow...Deputy mayor Case Oootes will make the presentation on behalf of Mel Lastman, who is at the Sydney Olympics. 'This was ridiculous,' said Mr. Lastman of the ban in a press release. 'The Barenaked Ladies are one of Canada's most famous bands. They are great ambassadors for our city and wonderful singers. We should celebrate their accomplishments, not ban them from our Square.'..Tomorrow morning, the band will appear on EDGE 102's Humble and Fred Show, broadcast live from the Square. The five Ladies, who are on the cover of Maclean's magazine, have been doing late-night circuit promoting their new album, Marooon. They will perform at the Air Canada Centre on Nov.24. - Mark Gollom, National Post". [Mayor Lastman, a former air conditioning salesman, dares make negative statements against prostitutes in this city! Boo, hiss. This is sexism and hypocrisy at its best. Money or power doesn't always buy good judgment, diplomacy or legal/political know-how. He counters his own city councillor movements. This is a civil rights violation against all pros.]

MainLineNews@egroups.com - "Sat, Sep 23, 6:30 PM, SF. Independent Musicians Concert. Spoken word by Jello Biafra. Union Square at Geary and O'Farrell -- just a block away from the hotel where the NAB will present their Radio Awards. Past Marconi Award winners include Dr. Laura, Howard Stern, and Rush Limbaugh. Contact Media Alliance for more details ma@igc.org, 814 Mission St., Suite 205 San Francisco, CA 94103, (415) 546-6334 www.mediademocracynow.org".

Today Tonight - gtatoday@gtatoday.ca - page 30 - Playboy spread pleases wrestler - World Wrestling Federation superstar Chyna says she's proud of her photo spread in the November issue of Playboy. "A body like mine has been rejected for so many years," the muscular wrestler tells the Sept.23 issue of TV Guide. "Not the ideal beauty. Ugly, masculine. But doing Playboy for me is the pinnacle. And I'm very proud." [And her wallet must be, too.]

Tuesday, September 19, 2000 - Entertainment Backwire - "TV Guide - I BEG YOUR PARDON? Beggars and Choosers' Charlotte Ross says working on the cable series frees her inner potty mouth. Is there an inner nudist in there, too? CBS - OF FACE-LIFTS, BISEXUALITY, AND ROCK HUDSON Gossip maven Liz Smith answered a few biggies in a 60 Minutes interview. For the rest of the dirt, you'll have to buy the book. Video."

AAA Jokes-Sep. 18, 2000-"A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR- HAVE FUN WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX. Make them wonder why they can't keep their hands off you. So much fun, it should be illegal. Promote thoughts of sex, love and romance with sexual attractants with pheromones. Customers report they work! Satisfaction guaranteed. Power up your sex appeal today! As seen on TV. Click here now ."

ArcaMax Celebrity Gossip - Monday September 17, 2000 - "AND TIPPER GORE ON DRUMS - Organizers of Sunday's Farm Aid 2000 concert have announced that Tipper Gore will play the drums during Willie Nelson's set. The line-up also includes Neil Young, John Mellencamp and BARENAKED LADIES [have you no shame??]. Young is also expected to join Crosby, Stills & Nash for a set of tunes. The concert will be telecast live on the Country Music Television cable channel" - (UPI).

Trashy Tabloids-"Sharon Stone has a reputation for always being less than nice to people she has worked with. Crew members hated her so much during the 1996 movie "Diabolique" that they urinated in a water tank that was to be used by Stone for a shower scene. The crew all sat and snickered everytime she had to shower. Guess she really did piss them off.....literally". [Hooray for Hollowood. Why doesn't this surprise me?]

Fidget Late Night Soup "JAY LENO..."They're offering free samples of Viagra on TV. So far 50,000 guys have called in claiming it's for a friend." "At the Olympics each athlete gets 51 condoms. On average. The Italians get 60, the French get 40, and Britain gets one for the whole team." "Did you see BRITNEY SPEARS' outfit at the MTV Awards? She's the first solo artist to win for Best Duo. And EMINEM thanked GEORGE W. for bringing swear words into the mainstream. Did you see Eminem perform? Grabbing your crotch a couple of times is ok, but a hundred times is just jock itch." "HUGH HEFNER has sex with four women. I can't even handle a call on the other line." "China ousted 27 Olympic athletes for using performance-enhancing drugs. The pole-vaulter was taking Viagra." "The most valuable domain name on the internet is www.business.com. The name just sold for $7.2 million. The least valuable domain name is JanetRenoShowerCam.com." "An Idaho college student fell out of his dorm window while mooning his friends. Another young life ruined by crack." MONDAY NIGHT HEADLINES: "Meeting on Impotence Turns Out to Be a Flop" ***** JON STEWART ON THE DAILY SHOW: On the three Emmys won by Will & Grace: "I do a gay character four nights a week. Where's my Emmy? It used to be the only gay shows on TV were Ellen, Love, Sydney and the repressed homosexual rage of CHIPS." "Out, Damned Spot: The Bush campaign, and I use the term loosely, has been accused of using subliminal ads. GEORGE W. says, 'Why would we advertise underwater?'" [Then Jon showed two clips of Bush pronouncing it "subliminable."] "Possibly Bush was distracted by the thought of executing some criminables." "Rebuke Nukem: The FTC has accused the video industry of marketing adult products to underage audiences. I can see them sitting around saying, 'We've got to find a way to get teenage boys excited about nudity.' The FTC suggested turning away the youngsters by labeling such products 'A fanciful new comedy by WOODY ALLEN.'" Correspondent Vance DeGeneres did a report entitled "Leggie, Come Home," about a little boy whose artificial leg floated down a creek but was found a year later. Guest Eugene Levy told Jon: "'Leggie' reminded me of the ANNA NICOLE SMITH documentary 'Titty.' Eugene talked about his new movie Best in Show about dog shows. Jon: "A poodle's ass shouldn't smell better than mine." Eugene: "Let's hope it doesn't." Correspondent Nancy Walls reporting on the MTV Music Video Awards: What award show designed for 11-year-olds would be complete without a wholesome performance by BRITNEY SPEARS? What Spears lacked in vocal ability, she more than made up for by taking off her clothes. ***** CONAN O'BRIEN ON LATE NIGHT: "As we speak the MTV Awards are going on across the street. You can almost hear BRITNEY SPEARS lip-synching. The Gay & Lesbian Alliance is protesting EMINEM'S lyrics and 'NSYNC for looking too gay." ***** CRAIG KILBORN ON THE LATE LATE SHOW: GUEST RODNEY DANGERFIELD: "Last night I caught my wife in bed with the kid who delivers the pizza. She begged me not to tell the butcher." "My wife's found the best method of birth control. She takes off her make-up." "I asked my wife, 'On a scale of one to ten, how do you rate me as a lover?' She said, 'You know I'm no good at fractions.'" "Luckily I've got a woman who loves me for my money and my fame, and not for who I am." "In my new movie 'My 5 Wives,' I'm married to five women who think I'm a Don Juan, but after one, I'm done." "Brigham Young had 52 wives. His motto was 'Bring 'em to me and bring 'em young." ***** HOST GARRY SHANDLING: "I shave one leg so when I'm in bed I think I'm with a woman." "I don't need Viagra. I could use a pill that makes me want to have a conversation after." "I once made love for an hour and five minutes - on the day we set the clocks ahead." "No one ever talks about what JOAN RIVERS is wearing. She looks like a hooker with a microphone." "The Sopranos has a character named Big Pussy, which, oddly enough, was my nickname in high school."

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FYI Toronto (comments@fyitoronto.com) - September 15, 2000 - page 15 - "BUTT OUT...Topless passerby Carol gets smiles from Canadian Olympic volleyball partners Jody Holden and Conrad Leinemann as they carry surfboards yesterday on Australia's Bondi Beach. This beach is the site of the Olympic volleyball venue." [topless photo with g-stringed butt]

Friday, September 15, 2000 - Entertainment Backwire - "E!- JANE SAYS... Jane magazine admits its writer made up those Liz Hurley quotes about Hugh Grant's bad bed manner."

Fidget Presents Liz Smith - "WISHING AND HOPING: At the premiere party for the wildly acclaimed ``Nurse Betty'' -- the film that may finally put the talented Renee Zellweger over the top as a star -- Bill Condon revealed that 20th Century Fox has given him the green light to direct a movie about Alfred Kinsey, whose famous report on bedroom behavior revolutionized American sexual mores. Condon, who also directed and wrote ``Gods and Monsters,'' said, ``I want it to be `The Right Stuff' meets SEX! I want Tom Hanks to play the lead, with the other, younger guys in the team to be Hugh Jackman and Mark Wahlberg. We're polishing the script now to send it to them. The movie starts with Kinsey at 35, so we need an older actor, and if Hanks isn't available, I think we have a good chance with Harrison Ford.'' [A fine way to cheapen prime meat.]

Truth or Tabloid?"Smoking After Sex Banned In Canadian Hotels. TABLOID. People don't have sex in Canadian hotels:)". [Very interesting.]

Thursday, September 14, 2000 - Celebrity Hack - "This just in, The Sun reports that Jennifer Lopez has been caught in bed with her bodyguard in a swanky London hotel. The British tabloid reports that hotel staff walked in on Lopez and her seemingly very protective security, umm, staff, as the two hid under the covers while a soft-porn flick played on the telly. Poor boyfriend Puff Daddy is confined to the States while awaiting his trial on weapon charges while Lopez lives it up in the $3,000 a night London suite. [Hack] I don't know how Jennifer is going to cover her ass on this one. You know... her ass being so, well... okay, you get it."

Entertainment Backwire - "Gist TV - WAITING TO EXHALE MEETS SEX AND THE CITY? On the surface, UPN's Girlfriends has it all: divalicious actresses, hot-button issues, and plenty of sex. Let's hope there's some good writing in the mix!"

Wednesday, September 13, 2000 - "Ralph Nader will be appearing on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno this coming Tuesday at 11:30 p.m. KSBY in SLO. Spread the Word!"

Today's Sexual Trivia - sjmail.com - "Today, Japan leads the world in condom use. Like cosmetics, they're sold door to door, by women." [The Chinese have been known to wear two at a time, one on top of the other, for protection.]

Ottawa (Reuters) -yahoo.daily.news [Very disturbing news that some undercover countermovement is using the internet to fight prostitution, while this very yahoo has porn ads in the dating personals and knocks out the hooker movement webrings, even the ones fighting for legal rights and the controls of the porn webmasters that are eliminating legit escorts and filling the web with phoney fronts for porn sites! You can't get an ad on any search engines if you are legit, it's all porn ads now and you can bet 99.9% of them are phoney ads entrapping gullible potentials and tangling webs around the business with misinformation and illegalities and creating even more bias toward escorts and other pros. I want to know why there is legal counsel at the Canada Justice Department in Ottawa helping brothels in the U.S. and we're not allowed to do dinner dates or foreign hotel guests in a decriminalized area like Toronto and are completely eliminated except for frameups with the porn ads on the internet and hacks on webrings.]

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InfoBeat - "Gore faults Hollywood on violence- WASHINGTON (AP) - Al Gore's vow to lean on Hollywood until it stops peddling violent material to kids puts him loudly in league with poll-tested unease over entertainment fare, and seemingly at odds with an industry that lubricates his party and campaign with cash. "It's not about censorship," the Democratic presidential candidate said Monday on TV's "Oprah," a venue suited to the women voters he's courting. "It's about citizenship, including corporate citizenship." Gore says he's giving the industry six months to stop marketing violent movies, recordings and video games to underage youth. If that doesn't happen, and he becomes president, he said, he would seek sanctions against offenders." [That's strange, because all the women's egroups I see are complaining about the pornography and violence against women, including some pro-prostitution groups.]

From ifeminists.com - "Pope tries exorcism on woman Country: Italy -URL: Description: "Pope John Paul II tried to exorcise the Devil from a young woman who appeared to be possessed during the pontiff's latest general audience." The evidence of her "possession"? She shouted objections and obscenities. (9/9/00)" [In the U.S. she'd be busted.]

From bwjokes@egroups.com - "eGroups Sponsor ~-~> iFriends Live VideoChat Bring a vivid new dimension to your next fantasy sexchat: live streaming webcam video of your chat partner! It’s like CU-SeeMe on Steroids. Live. Not just chat... VideoChat!.

Tuesday, September 12, 2000 - Entertainment Backwire - "Page Six - GROUPIE SEX - Cameron Crowe says the details of his, ahem, de-flowering in Almost Famous are all-too true. (Hey, don't come knockin' when the tour bus is rockin'!)"

Fidget Presents Liz Smith - "OH, I BET somebody from Geena Davis' camp is going to say, ``She didn't know how the `that dress' would look under those Emmy lights.'' Advice to actors: Dress under a Klieg! That's the only way you'll know if you're showing more than you should. And, brother, was Miss Davis showing a lot." [Ask me if I care. I've been dressing demurely for years and it doesn't stop the propositions.]

Today's Sexual Trivia - sjmail.com - "Australian women are the most likely to have sex on the first date." [Probably because prostitution is legal there.]

Monday, September 11, 2000 - Today Who's In The News - gtatoday@gtatoday.ca - page 2 - "Fancy duds not coming out of closet - When the U.S. version of the British hit show about gay club life, Queer as Folk, goes to air, it won't be in Versace. According to New York Magazine, writer Charles Kaiser, who visited the show's set in Toronto, Donatella Versace refused to let clothing designed by the House of Versace to be used as wardrobe. Of course, she's not the only designer to snub the show. The actors will not be undressing from Abercrombie & Fitch clothes during their loves scenes either. - Compiled from Torstar News Services."

Saturday, September 9, 2000 - Bizarre News - "Faulty Vibrator Gets Woman Shook Up --- ENGLAND - A middle-aged woman was frightened by things that went bump in the night and called the police. However, her face later turned red in embarrassment when police discovered that the menacing sound was coming from the woman's sex toy going off in her bedside cabinet. According to a police spokesperson, the woman was genuinely frightened and it was hard for the officers to keep a straight face when they realized what the sound was." [Well, la-de-da.]

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"B E N T -news - Strange but True World News and Trivia - BENT QUOTE – "That will only happen if I have a bout of amnesia or if I feel like mooning someone in the audience."—Daryl Hannah, who is making her London stage debut in "The Seven Year Itch" on if she'd ever do a nude scene. (Reuters)"

"Kidman's next films ponder sexuality - Nicole Kidman is cast in two provocative new films. She'll star in the Jane Campion film In the Cut, an erotic thriller that explores female sexuality "with unflinching honesty". Following that, she will do a biopic of Victoria Woodhull, a 19th century American prostitute-turned-feminist and spiritualist who ran for president." [I can relate to that.] - GTA Today @ Festival - gtatoday@gtatoday.ca.

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People-"MIDLER JOINS CULTURE WAR - Bette Midler -- whose concerts over the years have featured a generous helping of bawdy material -- is criticizing some of the more over-the-top stuff that shows up in the media these days. Midler tells Good Housekeeping that some movies and TV shows are "grotesque." Midler, who stars in a new half-hour comedy on CBS this fall, singles out "There's Something About Mary." She says "that stuff used to be private...what happened?" Before she burst onto the entertainment scene in 1972 with her first album, "The Divine Miss M," Midler's major claim to fame was her popularity as a singer in gay bath houses. Over the years, she became known for liberal use of vulgarity in her con- certs. Now, she and her husband, artist Martin von Haselberg, have a 13-year-old daughter, Sophie -- and Midler says some things are "completely off the table" for her as a parent. Midler's list of taboos include "really terrible language... drugs...and behavior that is uncivilized." The Divine one also rules out violence, violent sex and "sex before you're ready for it." She tells Good Housekeeping there is so much sex in entertainment now, "I was 35 before I knew half that stuff."

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Friday, September 8, 2000 - "Today's Sexual Trivia: According to the World Health Organization, there are approximately 100 million acts of sexual intercourse each day." [Isn't that special?]

Fidget Late Night Soup- "DAVID LETTERMAN ON THE LATE SHOW: "GEORGE W. BUSH said he wanted to restore honor, decency and dignity to the White House. Nice going, a**hole. Bush called a N.Y. Times reporter 'a major league a**hole. I thought that title belonged to GEORGE STEINBRENNER." "For the U.N. Summit Conference, New York has hired 10,000 part-time hookers. PRESIDENT CLINTON is here for the conference, staying at the Waldorf. He was going to stay at his new New York house, but his wife was there. There are eight dictators in New York today. Okay, nine if you count MAYOR GIULIANI." "CHELSEA CLINTON'S dating a White House intern. Yep, she's all Clinton. The only Clinton not dating an intern is Hillary." "AL GORE'S so confident he's started raising money legally. To compete with the Gore's, GEORGE W. and his wife were seen making out at an execution. Bush has pledged to campaign in all 52 states." "I'm reading a good book: Harry Potter and His Magic Underpants." "CLINTON took JANET RENO to Bogata. They went cruising for hot Latin babes." ***** JAY LENO ON THE TONIGHT SHOW: "Teachers in Philadelphia are going on strike. Now who'll the kids have sex with?" "TONY ROBBINS' wife is filing for divorce. Maybe she caught him motivating another woman." "Hollywood Madam HEIDI FLEISS is out of prison and had a lot of plastic surgery done, including her ears. Did they stretch out from guys holding onto them?" "Prostitution at the Sydney Olympics isn't a problem, because it's legal in Australia. Hence the name Down Under." "The Dodgers kicked out two lesbians for kissing when the Dodgers scored a home run. Can you believe that in this day and age, the Dodgers scoring a home run?" "HUGH HEFNER'S unhappy because one of his four girlfriends is in Hawaii filming an episode of Baywatch. He's having to make do with just six breasts. He's a guy who freebases Viagra." JON STEWART ON THE DAILY SHOW: "BUSH is making all sorts of demands about the debate formats. AL GORE just insists the debates be held Mexican style, sans underwear." "Dour House: Big Brother is watching you. How about returning the favor, people? To boost sagging ratings the producers are trying to bribe one of the contestants to leave so they can introduce a woman named Beth, who can't stand fabric around her nipples and who sucks a banana all day." Correspondent TRACY GRENROCK WOODS, interviewing an astrologer who thinks the zodiac is off: "People think I'm a selfish bitch because I'm a Scorpio. If I'm not a Scorpio, what's my excuse?" ***** CONAN O'BRIEN ON LATE NIGHT: "ANNA KOURNIKOVA is upset that the Internet has fake photos of her head on other women's naked bodies. Actually, her body is better than theirs, but they're better tennis players."

"Today News - page 4 - Lawyer jailed for hookers says others dropping legal briefs - The bizarre case of a former assistant Crown attorney convicted of soliciting sex from teenage prostitutes took an even more unusual twist yesterday. Court documents filed as pat of an appeal allege judges and other prominent citizens of the northern Ontario community of Thunder Bay were spotted picking up hookers as well. Agnew Johnston, 45, was found guilty of trying to buy sex from underage prostitutes in Thunder Bay. He was sentenced to five months in jail. Yesterday, documents filed by Johnston's lawyer during an appeal of the conviction revealed a local police constable testified under oath that he had seen some of the city's most prominent citizens, including member so the judiciary, trying to buy sex from local prostitutes. Johnston's lawyer at the time, Peter Ross, suggested his client was being unfairly singled out. - Canadian Press" -gtatoday@gtatoday.ca. [Well, if they don't let the experienced girls be in business and they wipe out the higher end, this is what's left, or maybe that's just the dynamics of the boonies. If sex is so prevalent in our society today in the media, culture & entertainment, and teens are sleeping with their boyfriends anyways, a lawyer or judge is a step up, isn't it? What makes it so taboo with the money exchange? Why give it away? I was going steady at 13 in the late 60s. I was engaged by 17 and married by 18.] Page 17 - Casual encounters ad - couple making out [and nobody does a damn thing about this public indecency, we are supposed to live with this crap every day. I don't think what goes on behind closed doors is anybody's damn business, but what I have to look in the daily paper or on tv, damn well is an issue and is totally out of control. Why has the government gone so retarded on us? Greed? Laziness? Incompetence? Ignorance? Stupidity? Mental Illness? Corruption? or all of the above?].

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Thursday, September 7, 2000 - Travel Backwire - "Concierge.com - "BURLESQUE DOINGS--JUST A LAPDANCE AWAY FROM L.A. - These "weekend driveaways" from L.A. include a stripper museum! (Wonder where you put your admission fee!) Plus, Del Mar Racetrack and the Nixon Library." [Even the travel business has deteriorated. Note Heidi Fleiss girls got busted for stripping in a private Beverly Hills hotel room after vice got their jollies with them.]

Today Tonight - gtatoday@gtatoday.ca - page 22 - "Big Brother is watching, but most are snoring as it's boring [yet it seems to be the only show on tv that isn't redundant and features some extremely intelligent people, in fact, we know for a fact that at least one of them has a genius-level I.Q.] - ...Jeff Oswald, a video technician from Charlotte, N.C. (said)...'The environment is not exciting. They've set it up so the only things that possibly have any entertainment value are sex and conflict.' And since sex is still verboten on CBS, the options are limited." [There's a lot of verbal sex talk on this show, believe it or not, and it airs during prime time. The sitcom commercials feature redundant and tasteless sex jokes, which make this show look like Einstein's classroom.]

Findlaw News - "Weird Legal News - Eat My Justice! "Well, In That Case Your Honor . . ." Actions Rude, not Obscene, Court Says- Philadelphia Inquirer- On a spring afternoon in Lancaster County, Linda Kelly told a flagman at a road construction site to buzz off - although buzz is not exactly the four-letter word she chose in the heat of the moment - and then, as she drove away, she added emphasis to her remark by flicking her middle finger. A few days later, Kelly received a citation for disorderly conduct for using obscene language, which carried a $25 fine. She fought the charge and was found guilty by a district justice who at the time said language like hers should not be tolerated in public. She appealed in Common Pleas Court, and lost. But this week - after more than two years and nearly $600 in legal fees - her record was cleared. philly.inquirer. Obscenity - "I know it when I see it": findlaw.laws.

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Wednesday, August 6, 2000 - Daily Sexual Trivia - sjmail.com - "In a recent interview with 10 prominent sex therapists, the question was posed, "What is the most important aspect in love making?" One said 'relaxation', Three said 'honesty', and a whopping Six out of Ten said 'staying awake'."

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Trashy Tabloids - "Newt Gingrich, who had blasted President Clinton for having an affair recently made an honest woman out of his mistress. Newt married Callista Bisek on August 18. It was the first marriage for Bisek and the third for Gingrich. Newt divorced first wife Jackie after she got cancer. He divorced second wife Marianne after he learned she might have multiple sclerosis. Memo to 34 year old Callista? Stay healthy........What a guy! [Another reason why relationships don't pay off and time is money.]

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Twisted Humour - "REAL people, caught by security cameras, having sex at work! As seen on 20/20, Sally Jessy, Maury Povich, Entertainment Tonight and more! Lovers Caught On Tape (click!). The controversial and uncensored video even FOX-TV wouldn't air! [These porn proceeds go to charity!]

"Q-107 in hot water over Stern remarks"- toronto@metro.se - page 14 - Radio - "A Toronto radio station has been given a warning for remarks considered 'tasteless' during a broadcast of the Howard Stern show. The Canadian Broadcasts Standards Council says CILQ-FM (or Q-107) should have edited comments Stern made about mentally disabled people, the CBC reported on Friday. The council says the comments broke its code of ethics." [And the 99.9% porn rides? That is disgusting! Looks like the media, culture & society is mentally disabled to me!]

Today Tonight - gtatoday@gtatoday.ca - page 22 - "DeGeneres, Heche sell digs near L.A. - ...Both Heche and DeGeneres will be honoured by Amnesty International on Sept.16 for their contributions to awareness about lesbian and gay issues. [The only issue I see with the lesbian issue is the bi-prostitution equality rights to the freedom of speech in the media, culture & entertainment for gay movements; the more important issues being poverty, survival, safety, entrapment and arrests; let alone the illegal discrimination/bias and hate crime towards pros who most importantly need to make ends meet!]

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Tuesday, September 5, 2000 - Findlaw News - "Judge Judy Would've Been Better- Sex-for-truck Dispute Going on National TV- Akron Beacon Journal- A local man and woman embroiled in an unusual legal dispute involving sexual favors as payments for a truck will have their case decided next month on the national television show People's Court. Karen Kershaw of Akron and Rick Remmy of Barberton flew to New York yesterday to tape the show, which is expected to air Sept. 18, said Gary Rosen, the show's spokesman. OhioNews. [And my dinner escort client from Ohio of 20 years that I originally met in Toronto gets rubbed out. Arizona officers intercepted one of my letters to him before I returned.]

Sunday, September 3, 2000 - "80% OF THE WEALTH AND INFLUENCE IN CANADA IS CONTROLLED BY THE 50+ CROWD - 8.4 million Canadians are over the age of 50. (Statistics Canada, PMB '99) - 91,000 Canadians aged 50+ have finances of at least $1 million to invest. (PMB '99) - By 2010, 45% of Canada's adult population will be over age 50. (Canadian Association for the Fifty-Plus) - The over 50 set is the fastest growing segment online. (Media Metrix - April 2000) - The number one reason that matures get online is to "try something new" (67%). (Media Metrix - April 2000) - The number two reason is to stay in touch with family and friends via e-mail. (53%). (Media Metrix - April 2000) - 86% of seniors log on from home. (Media Metrix - April 2000) - Matures are 30% more likely to have purchased online. (Media Metrix - April 2000).

Friday, September 1, 2000 - Today News - gtatoday@gtatoday.ca - page 6 - "Sugar daddies: more ripe than right" - (which is why the escort business was the better deal - more independence and less controls THAN in relationships!)

FIDGET LATE NIGHT SOUP- September 1, 2000- Compiled by J.P. Strange- DAVID LETTERMAN ON THE LATE SHOW: (2/18/00) Guest host NORM MACDONALD on Viagra: "I don't feel an old man should have erectile function." (1/21/00) On being released from the hospital after undergoing quintuple bypass surgery, DAVID LETTERMAN told reporters, "I think there must have been some kind of mix-up. I went to the hospital to get a face lift." On his last show before his surgery, Dave reported that after he interviewed HILLARY CLINTON, she, he and WALTER CRONKITE went out to Hooters to celebrate. TOP 10 MOST POPULAR SHOWS AT THE VATICAN (3/17/00): 7. "Platonic Love Boat" 2. "Virgin Mary Tyler Moore" WHAT MAKES YOU FIDGET? The Howard Stern of Sports? JAY LENO ON THE TONIGHT SHOW: (3/31/00) "Product least likely to make it? Crotchless Depends." (3/24/00) "The PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY turned 39. The next time he gets poked by that finger, it'll be a prostate exam." (3/24/00) "Sex after a fight is often the best there is, which is why you're never allowed in the locker room right after a prizefight." (3/10/00) Guest GARRY SHANDLING: "I couldn't do a nude scene on TV, because there isn't room." (2/25/00) "A Swedish scoutmaster was convicted of having sex with a horse. The horse must have been thinking, 'This guy's the worst rider I've ever seen.' And the guy had to have been pretty confident to risk being compared to a stallion." (2/11/00) "Australia's biggest growth industry is legalized prostitution, which may be why it's called the land down under. A g'day is $50; a really g'day is $100; and it's $300 if you want to put your shrimp on the barbie." (2/11/00) "HILLARY CLINTON officially announced her Senate candidacy in front of two hundred of the faithful, plus her husband. Hillary may get a job in New York before MONICA LEWINSKY, and she didn't have to sleep with the President to do it." (2/4/00) "Did you see the weigh-in for MIKE TYSON'S match? Two people in their underwear glaring at each other. Just like the CLINTON'S bedroom." (1/14/00) "BILL CLINTON was in Arizona today visiting the Virgin River. He didn't go in. He just stood at the mouth." (1/14/00) "BILL CLINTON spent the first night in the new house with HILLARY. Here's what he said in the morning: 'I did not have sex with that woman.'" MONDAY NIGHT HEADLINES: (2/11/00) Ads for "Black Anus Steak" and "Urinated Chicken Breasts." JON STEWART ON THE DAILY SHOW: (1/21/00) Correspondent VANCE DEGENERES interviewing a man to whose trailer hitch a rooster clung for eighty miles. "Didn't anyone honk and say, 'Hey, you've got a cock on your tail?' And why didn't the cock get sucked under the trailer?" (1/21/00) The Daily Show featured an incredibly lifelike robot baby, with a number of human movements and facial expressions. But, as host JON STEWART pointed out, "It's hell on nipples." (1/14/00) Correspondent Beth Littleford: "LINDA TRIPP has had a nose job, face lift, liposuction, penis, the works. On the inside she still looks the same." ***** CONAN O'BRIEN ON LATE NIGHT: (1/28/00) "HILLARY CLINTON said some people have a problem with her because she's a woman. Bill has a problem with her because she's not several women." ***** CRAIG KILBORN ON THE LATE LATE SHOW: (1/21/00) (After showing footage of a live two-headed snake) "The two-headed snake was immediately purchased by ELLEN DEGENERES and ANNE HECHE." (1/7/00) "Because there was no Y2K disaster, people are returning all the batteries they bought to the stores which are donating them to needy lesbians." ***** BILL MAHER ON POLITICALLY INCORRECT: (3/24/00) "Little ELIAN has to go back to Cuba, which is a pity, since he was next in line to impregnate Madonna." (3/10/00) "Arizona is the first state to allow voting on the Internet. Now Americans can make important decisions in their underwear, just like PRESIDENT CLINTON."

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