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Today I am feeling ~  Music list… Are You Happy Now? ~ Michelle Branch Never Say Never ~ Queens of the Stone Age Faint ~ Linkin Park Only Heart ~ John Mayer If I Fell ~ Maroon 5 Remember Me ~ Hoobastank No Such Thing ~ John Mayer The Anthem ~ Good Charlotte What You Waiting For ~ Gwen Stefani No New is Good News ~ New Found Glory Complicated ~ Avril Lavigne Burn ~ Usher All For You ~ Our Lady Peace Perfect ~ Simple Plan Shadow ~ Ashley Simpson Never Again ~ Nickelback Fall To Pieces ~ Avril Lavigne Skin ~ Adema Razorblades ~ Story of the Year Unsaveable ~ Faith Hill Sunday Morning ~ Maroon 5 Let You Know ~ Hoobestank With You ~ Linkin Park Private Show ~ Pink From The Inside ~ Linkin Park All Down Hill ~ New Found Glory How Do You Like Me Now ~ Toby Keith It Will Be Me ~ Faith Hill Clumsy ~ Our Lady Peace Harder To Breathe ~ Maroon 5 “It wasn’t a real relationship.” It never ceases to amaze me how a few simple words can weigh so heavy on one’s soul. I am astounded at the depth of cruelty one will sink to in order to invoke pain upon another. I am ashamed of myself for allowing someone to desecrate me in such a vulgar manner. I am humiliated at the vileness I swallowed in the “name of love”. I am simply stunned to see him persist in this depraved spree of malice he is weltering in. I am confused that his viciousness can still cause my heart to break, can still bring a tear to my eye. It hurts. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to write. It may be too soon. Writing helps me lift a little of the sting off my soul, placing it onto a page instead, but, it also shatters the protective shield I am enshrouded inside. I don’t know if I am prepared for the onslaught of immeasurable anguish I know is imminent. It’s as if I am bound tightly to the railroad tracks as an enraged train rages toward me. I know the impact is inevitable; there is nothing I can do to stop it. I simply watch and wait. “Nothing’s going to change the things that you said.. and nothing’s going to make this right again.” “I try not to think About the pain I feel inside Did you know you used to be my hero? All the days you spent with me Now seem so far away And it feels like you don't care anymore.” “Living in a nightmare A never-ending sleep But now that I am wide awake My chains are finally free Don't feel sorry for me” “All the days collided One less perfect than the next I was stuck inside someone else's life and always second best Oh, I love you now 'cause now I realize That it's safe outside to come alive in my identity.” “So if you're listening There's so much more to me you haven't seen” “Never Again Been there before, but not like this Seen it before, but not like this Never before have I ever Seen it this bad”  |
