|
I really do dance with crazy
> I live in a town in Nova Scotia I don't know how much
you know about Nova Scotia but it is a small area. Here in Wolfville there
is a university and each year we have many students who come from many part to
go to school. But when they all leave there is even less here. Nova Scotia is
the inevitable death of all people who live here. There is noting good here and
I do not know how anything good could come from here. I hate people who lie and
say " I live here cause I love the pace of life" Its not true. You
live here cause you're too scared of anything else. All you know is this
place. There are few of us who are aware of what it is that lays in the ever blowing
air of this place. I know what it is I am all to aware and it still I am trapped.
My heart and soul cries for greatness and my mind longs for a place that would allow
freedom and expansion. But here I am bound and chained to this place where I was
conceived and born. I am a victim of this place and its winds of hopelessness
and failure. No one ever gets out of here and I am terrified of being trapped in
nothingness. I want to be great. I want the feelings that haunt my heart to be set
free and enabled to sing again. I want freedom and I want to sing at the top of
my ever expanding lungs for the cause that is ME. I am a message. I have so many
wonderful things to say and tell and teach but I will never have the chance to
voice them to anyone who will ever understand them. NOT here. I am terrified and
so very scared that I am trapped here....I would rather die one million
different painful death than live a life of nothingness here. My heart is so
longing for you,world I only wonder how long it will be before you set me a free
from my dreadful imprisonment. Do you know any thing about it? Angels dance and angels die |
> I HATE THAT GARBAGE NAZI!!Ok so I cleaned my fucking room and YES I put paper in garbage bags BIG DEAL....I don't know if you know the feeling of cleaning your room and wanting to be dead let alone thinking " AM I recycling?" I DON'T CARE... So this garbage Nazi comes around and looks in your fucking garbage bags. He opens them up and looks in...So he sees my 2 bags of writing that I threw out..PAPER..And he puts a damn orange sticker on ONE of them because its paper and it has to go in a see threw bag...So after he does this I go up with another bag and place it over the defaced bags..(I hoped for my bags to be taken and I would not have to "resort") I'm happy and watching TV and listening to "The Cure" to make my self feel less violated by some ass hole going threw my garbage...My dad is talking to my brother who is ranting "I want to make sure that they know that I'm not part of this ..I WAS NO PART OF THAT" than I pause and yell shut-up in my loving sister/daughter way and spit with rage "You fucking idiots they will never know IT WILL work" As I am yelling this THEY are LAUGHING..Yeah thats right The Nazi is back! He looks for his bags to make sure that I haven't done anything like rip the stickers off...I DIDN'T to be precise...I just covered it..*s* So I see him and I fell rage I want to yell at him blood begins to drip from my teeth and my heart is beating... high school and 3rd grade when Jimmy Flaper told me I was ugly comes flooding back to me I stand and watch him going threw my garbage once again. He looks up and says to me "Is this your garbage?" My eyes turn red and I yell back "YES IT IS..NOW GET OUT OF IT!!!" He steps back as I come racing up the driveway as if someone has lit a match beneath me! I am irate I've lost all control ....I'm shaking like a freak! He looks at me and smiles awkwardly "Its paper it goes in a clear bag" smiles stiffly again. I flash him a dirty look rise an eye brow and lightly brush of my flannel blue pajamas that are printed with yellow ducks and bath tubs and say splish splash and have a bar of soap under the words..He takes notice of my undeniably wonderful fashion and steps back...I look and say..."I know paper goes in clear bags" he looks at me as if to say "than why didn't you put it in a clear bag" there is a silence where we are both looking at the bag in question. than he feels he must regain control and starts accusing. "there were 2 stickers" does he think I'm a lier.."No ass hole there was one gay orange sticker" He steps back "what?" I stomp my foot and yell "THERE WAS ONLY ONE STICKER" at this point I'm gone all I see is rage..."no there was 2" I fill my lungs and screech "THERE WAS ONE" He huffs and says " Well, its illegal to take those stickers off..."Oh is it..I never heard them pass that in the legislature" he cures his lip as I continue "And if you notice the sticker is still there" I pull the secondary bag off and show him his shred from my nails sticker he laughs and at this point I think he thinks I'm a joke. "I'm sorry but you have to put it in a clear bag Maim" "screw you ass hole" "what did you just say to me?" "nothing I just said that I'm a writer and a lot of that is my writing and I don't want anyone to see it" "That's a shame" "You just don't care do you?" "Not really its my job..sorry" "I hate you" (laughing) "what" "You know what I really hate you...You go to hell...ITS NOT ALL PAPER" He grabs the bag and starts to systematically fell it down as of he is an expert of how garbage feels in a plastic bag..yeah I know its his job and the sad part is he probably does know so I'm stuck and I don't know what else to say..I do not want to give up yet...I lick my lips and say..."I don't have any blue bags" he laughs "you must" I push my messy hair out of my eyes "nope I don't...So what if I take the top layer of paper out of this bag and place it in one of those bags" I point to my neighbors blue bags. He begins to laugh and says as he points way down the street "Here comes the garbage truck. if we had more time I would go get you a bag" I snap my neck and yell out "Yeah right.." At this time I'm about to kill...I rip the bag open and start to show him all the things in the bag some of the bags contents are as follows...And old purse a plastic hand a hat that says "do me" a bucket than I see it an shopping bag FULL of all my hair..I pull it out and shove it in is face and scream "you want that baldy?" he looks as if he's going to vomit and asks "Is that a dead animal cause that does NOT go in any bags" I smile and say to him "no its my hair" I laugh to myself and think about how right now he's probably wishing that he had never stopped at our house ..mahaha..he tries to distract me and grabs the other bag and starts ranting about that..I yell out "You idiot that's fabric from my dress is is NOT PAPER you've got a real obsession with paper don't ya You're flippen crazy! aren't ya? huh?" he gives in "Ok I'll let you get away with that bag" I'm elated but I don't want him to know that " and the other one" he he bits his lip and shakes him head and says "I'm sorry I just can't I'm really sorry I can't" I yell out as I sling the bag on the side walk.. " YOU ARE A BAD MAN...I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW...BURN IN HELL...No I HATE YOU..AHHH...God its garbage and I know that half that paper can't be recycled you just want to be an anal human. I hate you DIE" As I am walking back down to my house I see my brother pushed up on him window tying to get in on the action..I glare at him as he runs off laughing and say "I will Not be a part of this ..Nope not me..noo..I'm not" I swing the door open and grab a blue bag and walk up to the side walk and throw some paper in the bag than re tie the bag and stand and watch as the garbage men put my bag full of PAPER in the truck.. I smile at one of them and say..I just pulled one over on the garbage Nazi "Oh did you? Wow you must me skilled?" "Oh I am...My bag had paper in it" I smile and I'm sure my pride was shining out threw my skin as the garbage man laughs and says to me.... "Nice Pajamas"
|
