welcome
to my PTSD/Trauma site
Stuff to read for first-timers:
Site purpose/origins:
This site is a collaboration of both objective information and subjective thoughts about PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), and other related topics. As I learn about these topics, both through textbook study and research, and through personal experience, I am finding it difficult to organize the things I learn- this site will serve the purpose of providing some structure to my findings, and hopefully bring it all together to make some sense.
Particularly influential in deciding to make this site has been the book "Traumatic Experience and the Brain: A Handbook for Understanding and Treating Those Traumatized as Children," by Dr. David Ziegler. This book addresses a topic of great interest of mine- how trauma affects mental processes, in the intellectual or academic aspects.
I am a survivor of childhood trauma, and am working through it in counseling. While a bulk of this site contains journal entries that deal with my personal experiences with trauma, I also want to look at it from an objective standpoint, as this can provide certain insights the subjective view does not. Since the objective information I get is from textbooks at the university library, it takes a little more time for me to write journal entries of that sort, so there aren't as many journal entries of this type.
Content of site:
On the left, there are links to the different pages within this site. As it is a "self-expression" site, you will find some things not at all related to topics such as PTSD (i.e., the bio page, random page, or music corner). The journal topics page is the bulk of the site, and there is a titled list of entries you can browse through- i've titled them so it is easy to determine what category it falls under, so you don't have to look through every entry to find the topic you want... Before browsingthe journal entries, you should read below, so you have some foundational understanding of where I'm coming from. At some point, I'm going to try to get a message board, so you can post your comments/thoughts on the journal entries or artwork. Enjoy!
Personal background:
I grew up in a Christian home, and accepted this faith as my own at an early age. My parents were very dysfunctional; however, had it not been for their faith, I'd be in a lot worse shape than I'm in now. Dad- somewhat distant, angry a lot (recovered alcoholic, victim of abuse/neglect as child). Mom- very distant, emotionally unavailable/ neglectful; angry a lot, mostly towards me (one of my "roles" was the "scapegoat"- singled out from other siblings); not nurturing or warm- don't remember much touch coming from her; she was also abused/neglected as a child.
Besides the unstable home environment... I was sexually abused by a babysitter's son around the age of 3 or 4 (my older sister was as well). More significant traumatic experience- raped by pastor at age of 8- dramatically impacted me in every aspect, including my views of God, which laid the foundation for many future problems. This seems to be a major source of "problems" for me- most of my journaling will focus on results of this incident. The book by Dr. Ziegler that I'm reading is particularly informative for me regarding the incident at age 8- I'm very interested in how this affected my mental processes in the intellectual aspects. I'll outline later on how I see some of these effects.
On a lighter note...
I'm presently a junior in college, working on a B.M. in piano performance. I'm 18...been in counseling for 2 years...have weekly, casual contact with family- rebuilding relationships.
hopefulpearl@yahoo.com
