This is my diary... This is our house.

This week I have been mostly -

watching : Charlie's Angels 2 - Chick Flick Heaven!

Bear in the big blue house (now Buffy has finished, there's nothing on TV worth watching... And this is really cute)

Reading : Bored of the Rings - Nearly laughed my ruddy head off!

Hearing : Hybrid Theory - Linkin Park (Let's ROCK!)

Eating : Peanut butter on toast

Saying : "Bluuuurgh" (Being Sick)

Loving : Legolas, Lindros, Affleck, Bloom, Margera

Crumpet of the week -

New pics of Mr Bloom, and my lord, how yummy?
And the best bit is, Mr M has two tickets to the premier of Pirates of the Caribbean, yay! But he wont steal them for me! BOO!

Strumpet of the week -

Bloody Jo O'Bloody Meara!
Okay, you are prabably wondering what I have against Jo from S club 7?
Well the answer is nothing much really, other than I went to school with her and had to listen to her whining, and now I have to read about her whining in the papers!

"ooohhh... I was bullied! Oooohhh... I had no friends!" Get over it you bloody drama queen! :-)

Amusing picture of the week -

Feel sick yet?!


Hollywood stars that look somewhat retarded TM - feel free to send in your own nominations!

1) Tobey Magure

2) Jim caviezel

3) Claire Danes

4) Jean-Claude Van Damm

5) Liv Tyler

Contact the Madhouse!

Design copyright 2003 supernutter

Welcome to the madhouse!

Welcome everyone... Welcome to North Street.

My name is Cheryl, I'm 26 and I live in shared house on the outskirts of London with three boys that I'm going to call Mr M, Mr B and Mr N.

I work in retail, I sell old people vitamins.

Mr M is a cinema manager, he is also my best friend.

Mr B is an accountant and Mr N? Well, he works at the hospital... and that's all we know!

Monday, July 7th, 2003

Aren't weddings great? Especially when it's not you who's getting married.

At the weekend Mr N went to a wedding, and so did I... Different weddings though. Mine was fun. There was Karaoke and lots of wine, then I was sick!

Mr B know's all about chucking up too! the other friday night he spent in excess of 100 trying to get home from the City after vomiting in several cabs and various trains. He's now on the soft drinks for a while.

Karaoke has featured heavily in my social calendar the last week or so. We had a big party at the pub and I sang there, then the wedding, where I felt the need to do Meatloaf at the top of my lungs, and then in a week or so we are having a BBQ at Mummy's house and again, there will be karaoke. I LOVE KARAOKE! YAY!

On a different note, today I found out from a reliable source, that my ex-boyfriend's new bird is a bit of a minger! Haa haa! Gutted!

Wed, June 9th, 2003

Not written for a while... But what you gonna do?

Coming back from holiday always puts me in the mood to do nothing. And that's what I've been doing... Nothing! It's even an effort to write this now. I think I'm still on Greek time. Siga Siga - which means Slowly Slowly!

Thassos was lovely. So lovely that we are going back at the end of the year. Mummy and I ate and ate and ate... Then we drank and drank and drank... And then we ate some more. It rained nearly every day, but it didn't spoil it one bit.

Nothing exciting has been going on it the house. We have all been quite sensible recently as it goes and Mr M has finally put his stuff away so the house is also quite tidy. Mr M likes to share, he's good like that, but leaving out everything you own, strewn across various rooms is taking it a bit far.

I am currently in Low Carb hell. I'm doing the Atkins diet for a week as an experiment and it's bloody hard work. I'm sick of eating cheese, and eggs and chicken breasts and it's only the third day. I better see some bloody results!

Mr B has developed a strange disorder lately than only enables him to speak to me in insults. In the last fortnight I have been called everything from 'The whore of North Street' to 'A fat hippo with boobs'... Actually, he didn't call me that at all, he was referring to a picture on the back of an easter egg box, but it wouldn't surprise me if he was just using that as an excuse to insult me. He has apologised on several occasions, but he always manages to call me a tart or a slapper during the apology! I think he has issues!

Mr B thinks I do exotic dances for the bus drivers at night as my curtains are see-through... But believe me... I don't! So there's no point trying to find our house to take a peek!

Wed, May 14th, 2003

He's a firestarter... Twisted firestarter!

You know that feeling, when you open your bedroom door only to find yourself engulfed in thick, black, toxic smoke? No? Well, you haven't lived, and we almost didn't either!

On Monday night I went upstairs to blowdry my hair, and after about ten minutes I opened my bedroom door only to find the whole upstairs of our house was full of thick black smoke and I could hear this crackling sound. Running into Mr M's bedroom, I saw that his TV is on fire... After a few seconds of total shock, I manged to shout down to the boys who were happily playing Playstation in the living room. The conversation went something like this:

Me: 'Mr M, your room's on fire!'

Mr M: 'Eh?'

Me (shouting): 'Your room's on fire!'

Mr M: 'What was that?'

Me (shouting as loud as I can): 'YOUR F***ING ROOM IS ON F***ING FIRE!!!'

Eventually they came upstairs and Mr M stood next to me, in shock like me, looking at his TV as the whole room filled with toxic black smoke. We could hardly even see each other. And as we are trying to stop the whole room going up in flames, we are also breathing in the toxic black smoke, then about five minutes later, the smoke alarm goes off. Which was nice.

Then Mr N came home from the pub as our helpful friend Mr O, stood at the bottom of the stairs chuckling away to himself and said: 'Hello mate, your house is on fire!' Mr N then decides that maybe calling the 999 might be a good idea and we all bundle down the stairs and wait in the front garden for the fire brigade to arrive... Five minutes later two fire crews turn up, run up the stairs wearing breathing apparatus and hose down the TV, bringing what was left of it down with them and leave it in the garden for us to look at. Meanwhile, I realise that I can't actually breath now for coughing and the nice firemen gave me oxygen whilst being warned by their station officer not to try to chat me up. They then offered to let me stay at the fire station and shouted at the boys because I had no shoes on and no one had gone inside to get me any.

Everything turned out ok in the end though. Apart from Mr M's TV, Playstation 2 and his passport which is now nothing more than a tiny bit of blackened, charred paper, nothing was damaged. The house is covered in soot, Mr M's room stinks of burned plastic and I still feel like I've smoked about a million fags, but it could have been so much worse. And the moral of this tale?...


(this is not going to help my OCD one little bit)

Friday, May 11th, 2003

I'm off to sunny Thassos! Hurrah!

Mummy and I are going for a week in the Greecian sun because we are sick of the cold and wet that is England. Actually, it's been lovely lately, but we both need to toast ourselves for a week. When I told Mr M that I was going away, he called me a muppet. The reason? Because I'm going to miss the opening night of the new Matrix film. And although it's a tough choice, I think I would rather go on holiday!

Haven't seen much of Mr M lately. I actually think that he lives at work now. Sorta forgetting what he looks like. We did go and see X Men 2 on tuesday though, the first time we've been out for ages. It was pretty damn cool, but I had to stop Mr M talking loudly about Wolverine's adamintum claws in Sainsburys after the film.

I am a closet comic book geek, I don't want people to know about my geekness. And as much as I might love them myself, when I hear grown up people discussing things like the Death Star and episodes of Buffy in supermarkets, I just want to slap them. Slap them till they shut their geeky traps. Things like that should only be discussed in the comfort of your own homes, or the internet. NEVER IN SAINSBURYS!!!

It may seem harsh, but it's just best that way!

Friday, May 2nd, 2003

Isn't Chinese food the best thing ever?

My mum is cooking Chinese tonight, she's never cooked Chinese before... I hope she doesn't kill us with her Chinese cookery!

The last couple of weeks have been quite fun actually. On Monday, Mr M and I went to the V&A Museum to see the Art Deco exhibition. Having studied Art history at college, I find it all very interesting... Mr M on the other hand doesn't really have an artistic bone in his body, but he does try and that's a good thing. Afterwards we had Chinese in a noodle bar in Kensington. Mr M wanted to eat at a Polish resturant but I can't say that I'm a big fan of pig trotters cooked in cabbage.

We seem to spend many hours of an evening running around our house like children for some reason... Fighting, throwing things at each other, etc. Mr N doesn't join in though, he stays in the living room where it's safe and I think I might join him as I seem to be coming off worse. Mr M and Mr B are both bigger than me and Mr M tends to squash me flat on a regular basis. I suppose that's what you get for fighting with boys!

Mr B also seems to have a thing about me flashing the bus drivers in the bus garage across the road. I have these mirrored indian curtains in my bedroom that are see-through at night when the light is on, and I'm sure he thinks that I stand naked on my bed doing exotic dances for all to see.

(and just incase you were wondering... I don't!)

Friday, April 21st, 2003

Mmmm.... Choocy goodness!

Easter Holdiays are fantastic. Not only do you get shed loads of choccy, you get time off work too. Life is good. Not that I've done anything exciting with my days off, cuz I'm a sad billy with no friends :-)

Oh, and I have to apologise to Andy for calling him a ladyboy. He was very upset, the delicate little flower! lol

Friday, April 14th, 2003

Isn't it nice to be beside the seaside!

It would be if there was any actual sea in these here parts! The closest thing to the seaside is Southend-on-sea... And let me tell you now, it ain't pretty!

Friday, April 11th, 2003

I chopped all my hair off!

I've had a stinking cold for over a week, bloody thing wont shift and I feel particularly grotty so I thought I'd cheer myself up and get a new hair cut. So my hair, that was nearly to my waist, is now in a flicky bob type thing and I like it muchly. Makes me look about twelve though! I don't know if that is a good or a bad thing!

Boys are back from NY, they had a fab time and as expected, they bought me (and themselves) lots of lovely things home. Mr M got me Jackass the movie on DVD so I can re-live the wee inducing hillarity in the comfort of my own home. They also bought me a lolly with a dead cricket in it... Which was nice!
There's no way I'm ever going to eat the damn thing! It's got it's legs and everything still attatched!

Oh, and don't you just love it when your ex realises what a mistake they've made and starts trying to worm their way back into your affections, even though they have a new partner and you don't, just at the exact moment that you think that you are over them once and for all!

Wednesday, April 2nd, 2003

Yaaaaawn! So Tired!

Spend the day at Fullham Broadway today learning about honey... How exciting can a day be? think I was poisoned too, I ate honey with Bee venom in it. Which was nice!

Mr M and Mr B are in New York, which is a bit more exciting. I hope they are buying me lots of prezzies or there will be hell to pay when they get back!

Oh... And something I was supposed to do a while ago. I gotta say hello to Andy the Ladyboy... Hello Andy. (Are you happy now?) He has a site too, The Carrol Rad Diaries.
If you wan't to inflict it on yourself, go ahead. It's a just a poor immitation of the genius that is 'The North Street Diaries', but he's a bit of a mong, so I'll forgive him.

Click here to visit The Caroll Road Diaries.

Tuesday, March 25th, 2003 (7.01pm)

Ooohh... It's so cute!

We got a little mousey in our garden.

I know they are technically vermin, but it's still cute. I just gave it some rabbit food and it stood and ate it right by my feet. Probably going to be swarmed with mice now... But do I care?'

Tuesday, March 25th, 2003

It's like living in the monkey house at London Zoo!

They burp, they fart, they leave smelly socks! Never live with boys!!! I think Mr M is going to cut his feet off now with the lawn mover, and our kitchen doesn't work!

Our landlord is useless! He doesn't fix anything. Our dishwasher blew up ages ago, our walls are mouldy and we have an indoor family of slugs!

On a plus side, Mr M just bought me two Jaffa Cake muffins... Which was nice!

I like living here really!

And you know what else I like?...

I like the moon!... Coz it is close to us, we like the moon, but not as much as a spoon...

Wednesday, March 19th, 2003

I don't like it here anymore!

I've just returned from a weekend away in Cornwall with the girls, and Romford just doesn't have the same charm to it. I want to be able to look out of my bedroom and see the Ocean, but all I got this morning was my usual view of the bus garage. NICE!

In Cornwall, we stayed in a hotel that had entertainment every night. I say entertainment, what I really mean is some old guys playing Russ Abbot covers. On the first night we have Dave and his amazing accordian, night two was some sixty year old who was Buddy Holly, Elvis and then Fred Latino. We all shook our maracas and sung loudly. It was fun! The third night was a family of guitarist... Everyone went to bed.

Mr N was away for the weekend too, so the other boys had a nice weekend to themselves which they spent buying flatpack funiture from IKEA... We now have a lovely coat stand where a crappy bookcase full of crap once stood. I haven't got used to it yet though, and everytime I come out of the downstairs bathroom, it makes me jump. It looks like a six foot man standing right outside the door.

Anyway, Mr M just came back from the shops with this weeks National Enquirer. I love that magazine. So truthful... There's a picture of Mel Gibson in it and he's looking a bit rough, to say the least. Mel was sooooo lovely when he was young... What a waste. That's what drink and drugs do to you. Bet he's had fun though!

Saturday, February 22nd, 2003

Tired, very tired!

I had the day off work today, so I went for a three hour bike ride in the forest with my ex-boyfriend. It was fun, there was lots and lots of mud and then I fell off into some brambles, Jackass stylee.

Actually, that was quite fun too!

Mr M, Mr B and I went to see Daredevil last sunday, and it was the coolest film I have seen for a while. It was along the same lines as the Crow and Blade... Everything that Spiderman should have been. Funny, violent, exciting... And it had Ben Affleck in red leather! I highly recommend you go and see it!

Mmmm... Ben Affleck! I had a bit of an obssession with him for a while, it was Pearl Harbor that did it, you see. But then there was a picture in the paper of him having his nose blown for him, and I kinda lost the urge. Then came Man Fairy A.K.A Orlando Bloom, and my attention turned to him for a while, but after Daredevil, I would say the Ben has the number one spot once more! Woof!

Tonight we will be watching The Ring. Hope it's scary, don't get good horror films anymore.

Saturday, February 8th, 2003

Last saturday was my 26th Birthday. Another year older. Not getting any wiser though.

I spent the weekend in various eating and drinking establishments. It was fun. I usually get pretty depressed around my Birthday, but I actually enjoyed it this year. I'm just trying to ignore the fact that I'm knocking on for 30. That is just too scary.

Anyway, this week Mr M and I went to see Body Worlds in Brick Lane. It was the most bizarre, yet interesting thing I have ever seen. I never knew flayed corpses could be so entertaining. It's closing in London tommorow, but if you ever get the chance to go and see it anywhere else in the world, I would highly recommend it. Even if you are squeemish like I am, I would still recommend seeing it.

The most worrying thing was the fact that because I went there straight from work, I was absolutly starving, and everytime I got close to a ribcage, it made me want a big old plate of spare ribs. I think I should go see a doctor. Sometimes I worry about myself!

Mr M and I also decided that we should go into London more. We live twenty minutes from the centre of the City, yet hardly ever go there. It's silly really. I have decided that in a week or two we will go back up to Brick Lane for an Indian and then have a drink in the Ten Bells. For those of you who aren't up on their Jack the Ripper lore, the Ten Bells is a tiny little pub that the Ripper was meant to frequent. I went in there once before, and it was an absolute dump, sawdust on the floor and a piece of plywood for a bar, but when we walked past the other night, it looked like it had been refurbished. It actually looked quite nice.

Actually, I think I'll be lucky if I can get Mr M to go for an Indian. He and Mr B have joined a gym and stared dieting. Which is good for me as Mr M is giving me all the nice sweeties and choccy from his stash. It's great, I open my food cupboard and as if by magic, sweets have appeared.

Tuesday, January 28th, 2003

Hurrah! Our computer has been returned to us.

The nice man from PC World came today and fixed our favourite toy. It's amazing how much you can become attatched to a little blue box.

So anyway, this week Mr M nearly burned our house down.

He had a teddy bear that lived on top of his wardrobe, but when we went up to bed last night at around 12.30am, we found that the teddy had slipped from his perch and fallen head first into the top of Mr M's standard lamp. He'd been there for about 5 hours! There was a melted black bowl where the top of teddy's head used to be and now teddy had a new place to live... The kitchen bin.

Poor teddy!

Mr N bought a new toy this week too. A juicer. It sounds all very innocent doesn't it, but when we got up this morning, we were greeted with the sight of a kitchen floor full of chopped up fruit and about 1000000 dirty glasses on the side - which was nice! I swear, I have never met anyone so bloody messy! Hopefully he will tire of his new toy soon and it can go and live under the stairs with his other recent purchases... An orange deckchair and an indoor set of traffic lights (don't ask).

Oh, and here is a pretty picture for you...

This is Mr M,or Lenwe Luinwe, to give him his proper Elvish name. (I have far too much time on my hands, I really do!)

Find your own Elvish name.

Tuesday, January 7st, 2003

Brrr... Winter!

It's bloody snowing. How dare it!

Ok, Mr N came back from 'Up North' yesterday and already the kitchen is a mess.

Mr M is still somewhere in North London with some Brazilians even though we were meant to be going out somewhere today as it's my day off. The bin is overflowing as we have no bin bags, I've been to the gym and now I'm eating xmas choccy as I have nothing else to eat!

I hate food shopping!

Wednesday, January 1st, 2003

Happy New Year!

This is the first entry, so I'm gonna try and make it a good one.

Ok, I tried, but I've done nothing all day, so it's pretty hard to make this exciting. I was going to go into town, Woolie's have a very exciting DVD sale on apparently, but suprise suprise, it pissed down so I decided to stay in and watched a documentary on Shaolin Monks instead. Did you know that the skulls of Shaolin monks are up to four times thicker than normal peoples?

(I think I should get out more)

Mr M and Mr B returned from football and proceeded to watch football on TV for three hours, and now they are playing playstation football whilst making strange cackling, hooting noises.