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The Weather in Hell

Quotes, Bumper Stickers, Generally Pithy Sayings, Definitions, etc, That I Like



Warning! Warning! Senses of humor vary!

Moreover, most (if not all) did not come from my admittedly warped mind. It came from other people's warped minds in the form of conversations, alien transmissions to my brain, bumper stickers, stories I read, my invisible friend, books....you get the idea.



Evolve Damn It!



I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce.



"Do you know how difficult it is to fake your own death? Only one man has pulled it off. Ellll-vis!"



I think love is like a bird. When you least expect it, it craps on your face.



"All right," one of the officers said, "someone want to tell me why these gentlemen are lying on the floor?"

"Because it's like really hard to stand up when you're unconscious, man,"



Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.

Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,

What have you got there?

Said the Pieman unto Simon,

Pies, you dickhead.



Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

All the kings horses and all the kings men,

said "F*ck him, He's only an egg.



Little Boy Blew.

Hey. He needed the money.



"I was pondering the immortal words of Julius Caesar when he said "Brutus! You stabbed me in the back, you bastard.'"



Well, I suppose it's more warning than most people get. Usually it's just 'Mind that bus!' 'What bus?' 'Splat.'



"Not in the mood for bonding with yours truly, I imagine? Unless the bonding involves a tube of superglue and a rabid hamster?"



Pym (horrified): You eat babies?

FC: Offspring. How can I resist? They carry their offspring in those tiny vending carts --

Pym: Those are strollers, you lunatic, not portable vending machines!



Cyn-ic: An idealist whose rose-colored glasses have been removed, snapped in two, and stomped into the ground, immediately improving his (her) vision.



I found Jesus...he was behind the sofa the whole time.



"You're a crackpot. Or something else with "crack" in it."



Also, you're not allowed to talk about anyone's prostate gland if you spell it "prostrate."



A day without sunshine is like...night.



I like you

You remind me of when I was young and stupid.



I know what you're thinking -and you should be ashamed of yourself.



God is coming...And is She pissed.



I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.



No, I didn't sell my soul to Satan, but we did work out a nice rent to own deal.



Vegetarian: Primitive word for Lousy Hunter



I'm talking to myself. Please don't eavesdrop.



There's no I in "team", but there's an I in "I smoked yo ass".



Instead of being born again, why not just GROW UP?



I see you've set apart this special time to humiliate yourself in public.



Jesus loves you...But I'm his favorite child.



It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.



B:eck

M: eck? I'm pretty sure that that is a non-word

B: says who?

M: Noah Webster

B: well screw him

M: that would be a particularly nasty form of necrophila.

-MeccaStur and Bob 666 1369



Evil :Archaic judgmental term formerly used to insult the ethically disadvantaged and morally challenged.



Cry me a River. Then build me a bridge and get over it- -Thanks Sarah



I may look weird. But I'd kick your ass on jeopardy.



I wasn't created in your image of God.



"One of the mammals' evolutionary advantages was that they bore their young alive. As research has conclusively shown, animals that bore their young dead generally got nowhere."

I say no to drugs....but they don't listen!



667- Neighbor of the Beast



Christmas- A warm and cheery two-month festival that celebrates the joy of retail merchandise.



I have your inner child so if you ever want it back you will have to take it from me cause I...I kinda like it.



Ahhh, I see the Screw-up Fairy has visited us again.



Auntie Em:

Hate you, Hate Kansas, taking the dog.

-Dorothy



Born OK the first time.



Buckle Up- It makes it harder for the aliens to suck you out of your car.



"Someone asked me today where you were. I said you were really, really sick. And you weren't feeling well, either." - Big fav, because someone actually said this to me. Thanks, Grey.



"Cause Jon's a patronizing asshole!"

"Come on, now. Jon's not patronizing..."

Dyslexic devil worshipers sell their souls to Santa



Don't worry. It only seems kinky the first time.



"Any part of this may rub you the wrong way. And if it rubbed you the right way....well, let's just keep that on a need to know basis."





As always a place to tell me I'm insane, I'm going to burn in hell, ask what medication I'm on, if they know I'm on the computer at Bedlam...you know...stuff. Mecca