Quotes, Bumper Stickers, Generally Pithy Sayings, Definitions, etc, That I Like
Warning! Warning! Senses of humor vary!
Moreover, most (if not all) did not come from my admittedly warped mind. It came from other people's warped minds in the form of conversations, alien transmissions to my brain, bumper stickers, stories I read, my invisible friend, books....you get the idea.
Evolve Damn It!
I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce.
I think love is like a bird. When you least expect it, it craps on your face.
"All right," one of the officers said, "someone want to tell me why these gentlemen are lying on the floor?"
Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.
Said the Pieman unto Simon,
Pies, you dickhead.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Little Boy Blew.
Hey. He needed the money.
"I was pondering the immortal words of Julius Caesar when he said "Brutus! You stabbed me in
the back, you bastard.'"
Well, I suppose it's more warning than most people get. Usually it's just 'Mind that bus!' 'What bus?' 'Splat.'
"Not in the mood for bonding with yours truly, I imagine? Unless the bonding involves a tube of superglue and a rabid hamster?"
Pym (horrified): You eat babies?
FC: Offspring. How can I resist? They carry their offspring in those tiny vending carts --
Pym: Those are strollers, you lunatic, not portable vending machines!
Cyn-ic: An idealist whose rose-colored glasses have been removed, snapped in two, and stomped into the ground, immediately improving his (her) vision.
I found Jesus...he was behind the sofa the whole time.
"You're a crackpot. Or something else with "crack" in it."
A day without sunshine is like...night.
I like you
You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
I know what you're thinking -and you should be ashamed of yourself.
God is coming...And is She pissed.
I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
No, I didn't sell my soul to Satan, but we did work out a nice rent to own deal.
Vegetarian: Primitive word for Lousy Hunter
I'm talking to myself. Please don't eavesdrop.
There's no I in "team", but there's an I in "I smoked yo ass".
Instead of being born again, why not just GROW UP?
I see you've set apart this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Jesus loves you...But I'm his favorite child.
It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
B:eck
M: eck? I'm pretty sure that that is a non-word
B: says who?
M: Noah Webster
B: well screw him
M: that would be a particularly nasty form of necrophila.
-MeccaStur and Bob 666 1369
Evil :Archaic judgmental term formerly used to insult the ethically disadvantaged and morally challenged.
Cry me a River. Then build me a bridge and get over it- -Thanks Sarah
I wasn't created in your image of God. I say no to drugs....but they don't listen! 667- Neighbor of the Beast Christmas- A warm and cheery two-month festival that celebrates the joy of retail merchandise. I have your inner child so if you ever want it back you will have to take it from me cause I...I kinda like it. Ahhh, I see the Screw-up Fairy has visited us again. Auntie Em: Hate you, Hate Kansas, taking the dog. -Dorothy Born OK the first time. Buckle Up- It makes it harder for the aliens to suck you out of your car. "Someone asked me today where you were. I said you were really, really sick. And you weren't feeling well, either." -
Big fav, because someone actually said this to me. Thanks, Grey.
I may look weird. But I'd kick your ass on jeopardy.
"One of the mammals' evolutionary advantages was that they bore their young alive. As research has conclusively shown, animals that bore their young dead generally got nowhere."
"Cause Jon's a patronizing asshole!"
Dyslexic devil worshipers sell their souls to Santa
Don't worry. It only seems kinky the first time.
"Any part of this may rub you the wrong way. And if it rubbed you the right way....well, let's just keep that on a need to know basis."
As always a place to tell me I'm insane, I'm going to burn in hell, ask what medication I'm on, if they know I'm on the computer at Bedlam...you know...stuff. Mecca