well im sorry I haven't really posted anything even though im pretty sure no one cares or notices...but thats life! well...I kind of have been rude to EVERYONE these past few days and I sincerely apologize. I have just been...I dont know but, I do know that none of ya'll deserve it and Im sorry. But a good thing has come out of all this though! I understand things a little bit more about how they work. You don't control everything that happens! And if anyone I know is reading this then you should be so proud of me! Because I am a control freak and this is like a revelation. You can spend the rest of your life trying to plan EVERY LITTLE THING out! But, it wont matter cuz in the end thats never how it will happen. I know that you guys wont probably understand how I am feeling or what the hell I am talking about thats ok. Sometimes it just feels good to vent!