Overheard at the coffee machine:

Matilda's dog is missing, and the cat next door has suddenly gained a LOT of weight.

Jill claims to have discovered an amazing new diet. We noticed that several of her fingers are also missing.

Overheard in the supply room:

Marty wears a wig! And here we all believed for years that astro-turf was his natural hair color. Boy do we feel fooled! Now we know why his head always looks like a well-tended lawn.