VECTORMAN!
Seriously,
anyone who played the game will HAVE to admit Vectorman IS
one of the coolest gaming mother-fucker ever, look at him
for petes sake, he's made entirely of balls! No villains could
ever say, "you don't have no balls" to him, because
he would just get look at them and bitch-slap the fuckers.
He also has on one of his hands he had a powerful laser beam
with unlimited ammo, because only pussies have hands without
laser beams, only pussies reload and ONLY pussies have limited
ammo.
His
life before was a simple one, a pilot for a sludge ship, and
an ordinary job for a decent robot. Though I guess he wasn't
very happy before the invasion, he probably got pissed at
the fact he was ruled by pussy humans in a pussy job without
any robot pussies. I bet he thought about going on a bloody
rampage against those puny mortal humans-heck if I were him
I would've done it long before.
Though
one day some aliens tried to be bitchy, taking all robots
to their control, though only one robot didn't get taken in,
and guess who it was? Vectorman, and he own them all. That's
the basic story to the game, and it still beats all the load
of bullshit the gaming industry sells us today.
When
I first inserted that godly cartridge into my Genesis, I first
noticed the spectacular graphics, especially for the Genesis,
the sprites were big and well animated and some animations
were quite clever too, the music had a great techno beat to
it.
Though
the about the game was that it was incredibly hard, no game
really came close to its difficulty except the Contra series
and few handful of other games.
The
developers really didn't give a damm if the people who bought
the game were in the ages 7-10, or if those kids cried and
threw down the controller and broke it, or them going around
screaming until they hit a wall and hurt themselves. Sure
they could've made it easier, but they were like how a good
parent should be with a child, they disciplined you and got
you to work your hardest. The developers even made a contest
(I think they offered $10,000) for cash to anyone who beat
the game in the fastest time.
I
look at most of the new games in the market today, they are
like liberal parents who don't beat up their snotty kids,
the kids go one to becoming arrogant drug-addicts with no
job and dignity, developers back in the day didn't give us
what we wanted - they gave us what we needed. Thank God, that
at least a some developers like SEGA and Nintendo are striving
us what we need, even though some of us are to dumb to get
it (how else could you explain the mediocre sales of Rez?
Or the fact that Tekken sold better than VirtualFighter4?).
Now kids want cinematic and easy play, yet complain about
the low replay value.
Now
I don't know what the developers for Vectorman are doing now
(if God was just, they would be drinking expensive wine in
a exotic beach with supermodels), but maybe someday we can
see a Vectorman 3, until then I am playing the Vectorman ROM.
