My name is Carly, I am 18 years old, my 29 year old brother Brett lives with mum and myself.  Brett seems 
to be mum's favorite I think because she always supports him in whatever he does and she is real strict with
me because I am her baby girl and she won't let me run my own life.
  To me it seems like mum won't let me have my own life because she is afraid of losing me or that I won't 
love her or be there for her if she needs me if I move out.  But I will always love her and be there for her 
even if I am not around everyday, mum has this strange way of dealing with things where I am involved or 
things that involve me.
  You see with my brother mum is relaxed and she helps him as much as possiable and is happy to see him 
grow up into a very handsome young man.  And with me mum is strict because she finds it hard to let go of 
her only daughter.
  Its like I am trapped here with my mother, I am not even allowed to go out to the mall or anywhere else 
with out her.  It even makes it hard for me to have a boyfriend because I am not allowed to see him unless 
I have exclusive permission from my mother.  So mum leaves me no choice, I have to sneak around and see 
my boyfriend secretly because my mother does not approve of our relationship.  But if only she would be 
willing to meet him and get to know him then she might not be so protective of me.  I think that she is 
scared that he will hurt me, there had to be a way that I could get mum to understand the way I felt about 
this boy and why I love him as much as I do.
  So that night before dinner I called Paul and invited him around to have dinner with us.  When Paul arrived 
I answered the door and gave him a soft kiss on the lips then I took him into say hi to my mother. Mum was 
as nice as possiable to Paul but from the look on her face I could tell that she was not happy at all.
  The 3 of us sat down to a nice dinner of roast, patato, gravy and vegies.  All through dinner Paul and I 
tried to make plesent conversation with my mother but she just sat there and didn't say a word. The 
moment that Paul left the house mum and I began to have this huge fight about me going behind her back 
and inviting Paul over for dinner and seeing him with out telling her.  I told her that next time we had a 
fight I would pack a bag and leave, but she never took me seriously.
  So I told her that I was leaving, I went to my room and packed a bag, kissed my mother goodbye and 
opened the front door and walked out of it.  I felt sad for my mother because I walked out on her but that 
mood didn't last long, I went to stay with Paul and we had a chat, he made me realise that I should not feel 
sorry for my mother because she has to learn to let me go so that I can get on with my own life.
  The thing about mum was that she is the type of person that is afraid to be alone so she called all of my 
friends to try and find out where I could have gone but I think she already knew where I had gone.
  The next day my mother arrived at Paul's place looking for me, I had no idea how she found out where he
lived because I didn't tell her and we didn't own a phone book, she must have gone through my room and 
found my personal phone book or something.
  Paul answered the door to my mother who asked if she could talk to me for a little while, Paul thought 
about it for a second and held the door open so that my mother could step inside. I asked Paul to stay in 
the room while I talked to my mother, we both sat down and tried to come to some sort of an agreement 
without me having to go home with her.
  But it didn't go quite as planned my mother gave me no choice I had to come home it upset me because 
I didn't want to leave Paul.  I went into Paul's and my room and packed my bag while Paul and my mother 
had a chat, when I came out of the room they both had smiles on their faces, I smiled to myself and walked 
out to the car and waited for my mother.
  During the drive home I didn't talk to my mother because I was to upset with her making me come home 
with her like she did. I don't know why she is acting this way it seems that she has a very hard time being 
on her own.  You see my mother was an only child and her parents both had jobs which ment that they were 
hardly ever home so they placed her in day care when they could afford it but mostly her parents left her 
home without supervision.
  I think the reason why my mother is so strict and over protective of me is because she does not want to be 
anything like her parents were.  I can now understand where my mother was coming from, I could never 
imagine my mother leaving Brett or myself home alone for days on end.  But what she must realise is that I 
am now 18 years old and I have a loving boyfriend who will never ever hurt me and that I now have my own 
life to lead, which means that I can not live at home with my mother for the rest of my life.
  For the next few months my mother and I grew closer and closer, she was less strict on me I was allowed 
to have my own life at long last, but that all changed when we recieved an upsetting phone call.  My mother 
picked up the phone on the second ring and held it to her ear for a few more seconds before saying hello.
The phone call was from the head of the police department, he rang to tell my mother that Brett was killed 
while he and his partner were breaking up a abusive argument, the guy had a gun and he didn't want help 
so he just shot Brett and left him to die.
  From the look on my mothers face I knew that it was bad news.  I walked out of the room where my mother 
was talking on the phone so that she could have some space, once I heard my mother hang up the phone I 
went to see what the phone call was about.  I could see that my mother had been crying, I tried to comfort 
her but she pulled away from me.
  Between sobs my mother slowly told me that Brett had been killed while on duty, the news took ages to 
sink in.  That night I didn't sleep really well, I kept having dreams where I kept seeing Brett and he was
alive but as soon as I woke up I realised that it was all just a dream.  A few days later was Brett's 
funeral, it was time to say our last goodbyes, that very moment I burst into tears.  Saying goodbye to Brett 
was the hardest thing that I ever had to do because there were so many things that I ment to say to him 
while he was alive,so in order for me to deal with my grief in my own way I decided to write Brett a letter 
about how I feel and how much he means to me.

Dear Brett,
  This is a letter to you to tell you all of the things that I never told you when you were alive. I was so 
shocked when mum and I recieved the phone call to say that you were dead. We were both so upset and 
didn't want to believe that it was true.  I think about you every day, you are always on my mind.  Even 
though we were not that close, I love you so much, you were and still are my big brother I will never ever
forget you.Thinking of you and loving you always.
All My Love
Carly.

  After writing that letter to Brett I cried for a long time, I needed to get out of the house for a while 
so I went around to see Paul. I smiled as Paul opened the door but my smile didn't last long, I fell into 
Paul's arms and cried on his shoulder and told him what has happened, he did all he could to comfort 
me, I was so grateful to hom for how surportive he was twards me.  I went home a few hours later, my 
mother and I had a chat, she told me to go and pack because we were leaving in the morning. I sat my 
mother down and told her that if I was going to move anywhere I was going to move in with Paul. My 
mother looked at me, she was red in the face, I could tell that she was very, very angry with me.
  As soon as I turned my back my mother started to shout in a very loud voice "Carly don't you ever turn 
your back on me, you will do as I say"  I shouted back at her "Look mother, I am 18 years old and I am 
old enough to live my own life, I don't need you to tell me what to do anymore.  I packed my bag and 
walked out the door heading to Paul's place, the last thing I heard from my mother was "Carly if you 
walk out on me you are no longer my daughter"
  That was the last I heard from my mother, I wrote her letters to let her know how Paul and I were 
doing and I also sent her a card to say I was sorry for what I said to her before I left.
  I never heard from my mother again.