**9/16/03** Well...today i fixed the site up for Halloween! yeah...i know i know. it's kinda early, but i felt in my heart that it was time. ha...not. ok...here is an excerpt from Screwtape Letters: "Our (satans) cause is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do our Enemy's (GODS!!) will, looks round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys." That spoke to me...powerful stuff. that was from page 41 i believe. well...this weekend i am in a wedding...kinda scared. i am a reader so, i actually have to talk and stuff... to me its more nerve racking than being a bridesmaid. hmm...pray for me that i don't mess up or faint!! ********************************************************************************************************************************************************** **9/8/03** I have really gotten into the college application process lately. lemme tell ya, VERY nerve racking. I am the type of person who can fill something out in 2 minutes and not really care if I even wrote my phone number correctly...but this is differnt...its like...your WHOLE future is determined by how well you can fill out a form. okay....mayebe not WHOLE future. because lets face it...no matter what happens here, God has better plans for later! yay! The Lord is so awesome and he has shown me so many things lately. I have become alot more content in my singleness. Although it is comtrary to popular belief, I don't really have strong feelings for anyone right now. There was something with someone...but i believe the lack of infatuation is now mutual. And it is a good thing. I am much happier being able to control my thought patterns. Ahh....freedom in Christ feels soo good! I have also been super busy lately....not a moments rest between going to see poeple (had a great time Dani!) and doing home work, and going to practice and meetings and lets not forget talking on the phone. Its been a while since i can say i have felt "bored". i kind of miss it. Looking back, i should have cherished those moments more because i have a feeling i am not going to have one for quite a while. OH! by the way...i am getting a computer for college for christmas!! if anyone ahs any good suggestions on what type to get...email or I.M. me! oh wait...its just prolly danielle reading this. hey, is yours a lap top? because it came with a tower right, and my dad seems to think that lap tops don't. i need to talk to you about that. hmm..well...are ya happy now?? i hope so... QUOTE OF THE DAY!! >> "Love is a VERB" *************************************************************************************************************************************************************** **8/27/03** its been quite a while since i have written. Mostly because of school stuff. for english we haev to find a scholarship and apply for it. haha...i found a really good one. you ahev to write an original poem and then you get money if it gets picked. i know i know...poetry sounds cheesy, but the way i figure it, its alot easier adn less mess up-able than an essay. also...all the little emo kids who enter it will all write the same stuff, and maybe mine will be alot happier than thiers adn stick out. hehe...not that i care that much...but it'll be fun to see. i will keep you updated on my peotry progress...lol. peace easy home slices ************************************************************************************************************ **8/13/03** lets see....whats new. well, tomorrow night danielle and jessie are having thier going away party. sounds fun...but still sadly nostalgic. only 5 days till jessie leaves and 7 till danielle. i suppose i will have alot of study time for the crap-load of hard classes i am taking. i hope senior year is as fun as everyone says it is, or else i may have to resort to....umm....OH NO! I HAVE NOTHING TO RESORT TO!! if anyone has any ideas please notify me. i need a last resort. hah. well.....this is for you Danielle ...::cough cough:: when the light hits your eye like a big pizza pie, thats AMORE!! hope you enjoyed that! bye the way, when you leave i am going ot randomly sneak into your house and steal chocolate chip oatmeal bars! yay! so your mom will keep buying them. all for me!! hehe. im devious! ********************************************************************************************************************************************************************* **8/12/03** 5 more days till school starts. 8 more days until jessie leaves for good. 10 more days until danielle leaves for good. then nothing will ever be the same....maybe close, but not identical. but then again, who likes twins? mary kate and ashley are fart knockers. holla. ***************************************************************************************************************************************************************** **8/10/03** Im having some inner conflict at the moment. about one of my friends. i just wish i had a stronger will. maybe then i would rub off in a positive way on people and would not have to worry about any effect they might have on my behavior. the thing is though, it turns into alot of my own fault. i hate the way i feel sometimes. i am kind of glad this summer will be over soon so i will go back to a schedule and not so much hanging out. i will really miss some people though and i am glad i dont have my own way because if i did i would make time stand still on last summer. a while back when i was feeling rather upset about the whole matter my sister told me something pretty wise. it went something like "you're lucky to feel soo much pain because that means they were worth alot, and some people will never have such substantial friendships" .... yeah. tru dat. i love you guys :*) ********************************************************************************************************************************************************************** **8/7/03(later that day)** i know i already wrote once today, but i feel inspired and that doesn't happen often so bear with me. i hate that feeling when some people just feel soo much cooler than you. i'm not talking about like, popular preppy 'i drink every weekend and have to count on where i shop for my self esteem' cool people. i'm talking about people, who by no fault of thier own, can make you feel inferior. i guess that's my problem and not thiers....but still it just kills me. i hope i don't ever make anyone feel that way. im sure i do (i mean im just so dern awesome)NOT :-) like...i dunno. i just needed to say something. ***************************************************************************************************************************************************************************** **8/7/03** today i wrote a song. it wasn't a goofy one, it was actually real. i didnt rhyme or anything but i still like it. no one else can read it though because that would be embarrassing. and no, not even you Danielle :) by the way....im fairly sure you are the only person who reads this regularly....if anyone else does please email me just so i know. every one else seems to be so much more artistic than me. well...at least the guys i know. wow...thats wierd. apparently from what my mom tells me, my sister is still upset from when she came and i wasnt like i used to be (because she has a boyfriend now) its like my mom wants me to portray fake emotions just so it wont ever seem like we are anything less than a perfectly functional family. yeah, my mom is seriously always up in my biz-nass. oh!! haha. she got her breathing apparatus thingy today that she has to wear when she sleeps. its darth vadar looking all the way. i put it on and started running around the house wheezing. yeah. im cool. don't you wish you were me....fo sho fool. ***************************************************************** **8/5/03** its seems like whenever i have time to write in this i am not in a very writing-ish mood. well, i just got back from the frio river with jessie, danielle, beth, mildred, enjoli, brett, nate, zach, and ben. it was a whoooole lot of fun going with all the guys, and suprising ly there wasn't too much drama (but i think there may be later reprecussions) but yeah. we made a fire in the lake one night and that was fire-arrific. and we went to the dance. im really sad that summer is almost over and so many thing will be different. poor me :) i need someone to talk to who is really good at advice. *********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************** **7/26/03** the show was super cool, and we ate at whataburger afterwards. lots-o-fun. the guys from ethan durelle are way nice guys. today we all went to the beach. once again, fun fun fun. where will it end. the answer to that is TONIGHT. i have to stay home and spend time with my family because my sister is in town and i havent been around. her boy friend isn't relly as bad as i thought. i never really did hate him, but the concept of him....o well... i guess i jut have to get used to the fact that she is not going to be all mine anymore. the thing is she still wants me to act the same. why should i have to stay home and give her.."my all" (cheesy, but the best way to put it), if all i am going to have now is her divided attention. i just need to learn to accept some things. my life is changing so much lately. pity parties aren't good though so i need to deal with it. This kind of thing usually turns out for the best, i need to learn to lean on God totally again. re-learning things seems to be harder than the first time. ......******************************************************************************************************************************************************************************* **7/25/03** lets see....my sisters new boyfriend is here. i am really not good at hating people even when i want to. i guess thats good. i am happy i get to get out of the house tonight though. i am going to a show...ethan durrell, bretts band, and apparently another band (crocodile ghost fight) which will "scare" me. either way it will be better than having to stay home and be diplomatic and eat cabbage rolls. i made them, but i dont wanna eat them. i think it would be fun to be house wife. well...unless your husband is a jerk. i need to marry someone who will pay me lots of attention and will cuddle alot and stuff.... yay..wow...im cheesy.......................****************************************************************************************************************************************************** **7/22/03**Well I haven't written in a while because I have been gone to the Frio River with Danielle's family. It was really fun. The best parts though were the little "domestic disturbances" (as I like to call them). It is so funny to see Danielle beat on her little brother. Apparently though it was me and Jezzel's (jessie's) fault for egging him on. I have to say I like to get the little buger all riled up ;-) HeHe. But yeah, that was fun. Me and Jezzel made up ebonics names for everyone. I am now Nezzel. Danielle is Dezzel but she is not too into it the whole thing. In case no one has noticed there is now a message board type thing on the site. You have to be brave enough to email me and get a name and password to be on it though. Brett is a nerd. He wanted me to say that. You know whats fun... slip and slides are. I think one day all my friends and I should slip and slide. Although while doing the activity itself people look quite un-attractive, it is one of those things that's worth it. Speaking of getting wet, Brett, if you ever push me into the pool I will T.P. your house....GOOD...with lots of shaving cream. Just a warning :)Well...gtg to the beach today. I am a golden godess..JK. Also, any one who is already on the message board thingy, please actually leave a message once and a while so it doesn't get boring! OK...love ya lots!........................ok!!! i have an idea. anyone who wants to leave a message on the "message board" can just use the name "boredstupid" and the password "123456". so just enter it into the thing and go there! ok...leave your name too so i know who it is! have fun!......................**************************************************************************************************************************************** **7/15/03**I am sooo excited about the hurricane!! I am in one of those moods...everything makes me giggle and I wanna run around or something. I just can't understand why some people don't like stormy weather. I think it is soo romantic. I seriously hope there is a big storm the night of my honeymoon :P Hehe. But that might not be for a while so....i will settle for running around in the rain. When it gets bad I am going to go outside until my mom makes me come in...although she will prolly be excited too. She usually gets excited with me, ILOVEMYMOMMY! So...plans for today : talk on aim, eat cereal, GET WET!! God is soo awesome!............................................................................................................................................************************************************************************************************************************************* **7/14/03**I got kinda bored one day and I thought "hey self, lets make a website" So I did....good for me! Well, when I was making this page I actually didn't have any idea of what to put on it. I think today I will share my feelings on running away from home. One of my friends did that today...but actually(as pointed out by another friend) he prolly just needed to get away from his house. I really know how that feels, but I have never had the cohones to just leave. One time I did crawl out my window and climbed up a tree in my front yard, if that counts for anything..yeah..I know..it doesn't. hehe.I heard that he did it because his mom was getting mad at him about the music he listens to. Here is a message for any moms that might read this -A TEENAGE BOY WILL DO EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT HIS PARENTS WANT HIM TO DO 87% OF THE TIME,...especially when they pressure him to be a "good person"- thats my opinion at least...and since this is my site, it counts. I guess thats enough for today. Oprah is comming on anyway. :) OH!! I'd like to give a shout out to all my peeps....you know who you are *wink* *wink*...there ya go..haha.
Some Neat-O Sites
even though i don't play well...
supa'-dupa' fun
my night job :)
email me and i will add you to the
