Why oh why?
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: Sarah McLachlan
Topic: christians
Here is a simple email conversation... well, SOME of it. Between an ex (both boyfriend and now friend) and i. Today. Five minutes ago. And its still going on *ding* theres another email now! I'm the italisized part.

---

Okay, how about this you are a person who is truly pathetic. You
neither know yourself nor others. You have no idea what life is truly
like. You care about the most useless things, as most teenagers do.
Let me put it bluntly, YOU SUCK.

"Blessed are ye, when [men] shall revile you, and persecute [you], and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my [Jesus] sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great [is] your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you."
--the Bible, Matthew 5:11-12 (King James version)

What the fuck does that mean?
In case you don't know, I don't give a crap about the bible.

well that doesn't matter to me, does it? nope. here. i just prayed for you. tell me if anything ... "interesting" happens in your dreams tonight, kay? hahah. you wont get it. [i had just prayed that the Lord would come to him during the night and talk to him. i hope it happens! "Trust in the lord with all your heart..."]

Why would you pray for me? My sould is not in danger at the hands of
the devil or something.

yeah, it is actually.

Normally I would ask to explain but no.
Do you actually care about religion or are you just trying to be different?

[at this point i was panting. i was like, OH-MY-GOSH! WHAT THE HECK!? so then i counted to 10 and was fine.]excuuuuuuse me?!
the thing isnt: im christian to be different,
im different because i am christian.
because i believe in the Truth and the One and Only God and that the Messiah has indeed come to save us: Jesus Christ Emanuel. And so on and so forth.
No matter how much you slam me (or any others slam me for that reason) i will still love you as a person. I will and am praying for you. I feel sorry for you. im not sure if that was the smartest email... but we'll see in a few minutes .. or seconds what he does.
(a few minutes later) ok i dont know if he'll write back or not. maybe i'll let it last for a bit longer.... oh yay!

I don't want your pity. Keep it for someone else. I wasn't slamming
you, I was questioning you. Think about it. Haven't you realized that
I'm a much better person than you think.
I have to go now.
See you later.

---

So there you have it. What is wrong with people these days? Christians in the past have been too killing (the crusades etc) and not enough loving each other. So that is why so many people are hostile towards us. And then we wonder why! OMygosh.

Christ is Arisen! Isn't that cool?!? Yeah, it is!
Mood:  celebratory
Now Playing: random music!
Topic: Jesus
Christ is arisen! Doesn't that just make you feel so happy!?
After waiting sadly yet hopefully for his ressurection, he's back. Well, not quite. The time to honour His return is back. Cuz obviouisly, he didn't return againt yet, or we'd know- right? I seriously hope so! *grin*

Happy Easter!
Did you know that Easter wasn't originally involved with Christ? Nope. It was a pagan ritual of some sort, to honour their goddess Eastre (that's the correct spelling, mind you!). When Christians came to convert the pagans, they needed to convince them. So they said that Eastre was actually when Christ came back from the dead. How arrogant of the Christians. {I understand why some people dont like the way most Christians try to force their religion on others.}

---

Lord,
Thank you for letting your Son return to us, to teach us even just a little bit more. Thank you for letting us have the chance to believe, and for the Marys to have seen Him. Thank you for letting those people spread the Word of Your Grace. Continue to let us learn from You, the Holy Spirit, and Christ, our Saviour.
AMEN.

The In-Between Day
Mood:  energetic
Now Playing: nuttin, too happy!
Today is the inbetween day, where all we do is watch and wait for tomorrow: Easter. It's hard, I know, but we can do it. Easily. Especially when you do what i did today!

It was a regular Saturday of lounging around in my underwear, when Ryan asked me if I wanted to go to the citywide conference. I said sure, not really knowing what to expect. When we first got there with Craig and his parents, we felt a bit awkward, even though this was Ryan's third time (my first). Once the first praise song started to play, I had this amazing rush. All these True Christians, young and old, all come together. To Worship Him in song. It was awesome! For almost two hours we stood up, singing. At first i felt a bit odd when a lot of people raised their hands or started to dance. Though once the third song was over, I couldn't contain my joy. Well, i did a bit, obviously, otherwise i'd have been the craziest one there, jumping everywhere and screaming, laughing, crying! I raised my arms and swayed to the beat. It was so nice! Even though i hardly knew any of the songs, it was still good. I mean, a praise song is one verse and a chorus repeated over and over again, so it was kinda easy!

Then after Ryan, Craig and I talked about Christianity and stuff. Next we went to a pizza place nearby and got some pizza. Yum! Then we came home. So that was my glorious day! Later!

Why do people cut?
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: U2
Topic: depression
Why do people cut? Does it relieve them somehow?
One of my friends says this "...I cut myself because, believe it or not, it makes me feel good..." It relieves the stress of everyday angers and trials. In november, one of my closest friends had serious depression. she was cutting herself and her parents didn't even notice. How on earth not?

Have you realized just how much people can cover up and pretend hasn't happened? LIke when i had my depression a while back, I put on a really thick mask. There would be no way you could tell what was going on, unless you asked and really meant it. Or read my songs I wrote then. Or the poems. Or heard me cry.

The scars would be obvious, you'd think. Tiny incisions just at the wrist, red and puffy. Most of the time, the cutter will hide them with long shirts, wrist bands, big jewelry, anything. When confronted in the changeroom, the cutter sometimes makes up "white" lies to hide the true fact. Right. Having seen this many time, it hurts me inside.

And why does it provide such an intersting subject for gossip? "Oh, Billy cuts his wrist!" TRANSLATION: "Billy takes knives to his skin and pierces it to relieve tension, allowing blood to flow. Well, that's not really a good translation but its what the truth is.

Some people also think that its "cool" to cut. I've talked to many people and then they randomly say "Look at my wrists! I was cutting AGAIN last night. Oh, its such a bad habit, isnt it! I really need to stop!" But they say it with such drama that it makes you wonder if they actually have depression or not.

Now isn't the time for me to get into depression. It's too deep a problem. I will slowly explore this subject as well, dont worry.

---

Heavenly Father,
Help me to heal these lost and lonely people. Help me to be the Defender for them, to Fight for Your Cause. I want to be on the battle lines protecting the weak, and destroying the Devil, even if in the smallest way. Make me a vessel of your triumph, give me strength each day to renew myself and be one of your workers.
God, you alone know how much I love you, and want to be with you. You know how much i need your help, and you alone are the one to help me. Help me to love you, help me to help you.
I pray for guidance, oh Merciful Lord, to know what to do. I pray for Patience to seek Your Word. I pray for forgivness of my bountiful sins, and that you will guide me to no longer commit them. I pray for the passion to ressurect you in my life. I pray for the strength to Fight my Devils, to save others and to Love without end.
In Jesus' name,
AMEN.

Sometimes I cry when I realize how few True Christians there are.
Mood:  blue
Now Playing: random musica on my computah
Topic: christians
I hate it to see how many Christians there are at my age. LIke, none.
Let's see: First, I had a lot of friends who called themselves crhstians. The key word, is "CALL[ed]". Get it? Not many teens are christians. Even fake ones. Is it just not cool anymore? Or is it just, some fad that has gone out of style?

I will explore this. For a long time. Possibly I am just looking in the wrong spots. I search at school, a handful of 'em show up for youth group. Just because they hardly do anything religious and it's fun to go bowling or something like that.
So, what's up with this? i dont know. Please dont ask. Just tell me, kay?

~hugs, God Bless you~
nessa

Goths: Good or Bad? OR What are Goths?
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: Michelle Branch
Goths have gotten bad reputations for being satanic or wiccan. But is that truly what they are? Read this article by "Seraph Valentine" below to find out!

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You know that kid sitting in the back of your math class, listening to Marylin Manson, writing bad poetry and being all angst filled when they really have nothing to mope about. That's a Goth, right? They're always depressed and whiney and always wear all black with white face paint and all black makeup, right? Wrong. This is a very inaccurate description. Which, if anything, would depict a 'wanna-be' or, the more commonly used term, a 'poser'. As said by sophomore Gavin Fletcher, "Wanna-bes are stereotypical Goth that are always saying 'Oh woe is me, my life sucks," while the real Goths are semi-dark, but are fun to hang out with."

As a matter of fact, most Goths hate the stereotype that was caused by angst filled teenage wanna-bes. In any given high school you will, now that being depressed has become a fad of sorts, find at least one "Goth kid". They usually have never heard of Robert Smith (lead singer of The Cure) and in fact confused Marylin Manson's industrial sound for being Goth. Industrial music, for those who don't know, is a genre of music more akin to Techno than Gothic. Said sophomore Cory Bickford on the subject, "I think too many Goths become what they hate." Which is true. So many "Goth kids", when they grow up and get out of high school and grow out of teenage angst turn into that exact person they would constantly mock and hate when they were in high school.

Contrary to popular belief, wearing all black does not make a person a Goth. True, many Goth wardrobes will be mostly black, but it is just as common to see a Goth in any color at all. Red, blue, purple and white are the most common colors, though it is not unheard of to see a Goth in pink. The all black attire is usually worn by high school Goths because of the style. Few articles of clothing that are not black appeal to the gothic teenager, and any that do are generally much to expensive or unpractical for wearing to school.

Admittedly, there is a sort of darkness to the Goths. However, it is not caused by depression, but rather a different understanding of the world. Many Goths believe that with every light there is a shadow and it is important to explore that proverbial shadow. A sort of 'There can be no light if there is no darkness, for then you wouldn't know the difference' philosophy. They're thought to celebrate death, sex, depression, pain, etc., when in reality, they merely realize that such things should not be considered taboo because they are a natural part of human life.
Gothic music (a genre started in the 1980s as a fledgling of punk rock) reflects the shadowy philosophy. The music tends to be dark, ambient and mysterious, exploring darker subjects with a calm acceptance. The five most commonly known gothic bands (and some consider them the original gothic bands) are the Cure, Siouxsie and the Banshees, The Sisters of Mercy, Black Tape for a Blue Girl, and Mission UK. The lyrics may sound somewhat depressing to people who are used to listening to pop music, but they are, in an obscure way, relaxing. This music is what started the "gothic movement", though many Goths will laugh at that term.

The "true" Goths however would perhaps disagree with the term; after all, all of the "true" Goths are dead. "Historically, the Goths were a barbaric pre-Germanic tribe from the time of Rome" stated junior Ryan Pinzon. In fact, amusingly enough, the Ostrogoths (one of the two tribes) were considered by their enemies to not be barbaric at all, but were considered a highly moral people. Look at any history book; the Goth’s many battles against Rome are ancient history, and their lineage long since deceased. This may be why when someone says, "Goth", no one thinks of the barbarians who battled ancient Rome.

Long after the ancient tribe had died out, the word "Goth" became an insult, used to call people barbaric. In fact, the term "gothic" has been mistaken numerous times, including architecture. The buildings, originally called "Maniera Tedesca" in Italy, were called gothic by Vasari, implying that the structures were barbaric looking. Many people who did not know the word's meaning thought by calling it gothic, vasari meant that the style was darkly beautiful instead of barbaric. The term was later associated with dark art and literature. Which is why the term was attributed to the darkly beautiful branch of punk rockers that were alot less angry.

Goths are not as some would believe it to be, a "barbaric" group of teenagers, in fact, most Goths are adults, but they are a collection of all kinds of people with a common philosophy. These are common misconceptions, just as common to non-Goths as the 'wanna-be's and even some of the real Goths. Stated sophomore Emily Anderson, "People are people, not labels. By labeling a person you restrict their potent ional."



© Copyright 2005 Seraph Valentine (FictionPress ID:464224). All rights reserved. Distribution of any kind is prohibited without the written consent of Seraph Valentine.

James 5:7-10
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: Kelly Clarkson
Topic: bible verse
"Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw nigh to God, and He will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double-minded. Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up." James 5:7-10
Meaning: If we humble ourselves and repent, God will make us Great. The more we love Him, the more He will love us. If you cleanse yourself in His Name, we will be cleansed moreover. The closer we allow ourselves to be to Him, the closer we will be. Isn't that wonderful? *sigh*

---

Dear God,
Help me to be closer to you, help me to humble myself in you.
Thank you for all these amazing blessings in my life. At points in time, I wonder if I would be able to do it all by myself, and think "why?" but then, I realize, YOU are the one who helped me with it, without that steady hand on my shoulder, I would be nowhere. Thank you for guiding me so well.
I pray for safety, peace, joy, thanksgiving and happiness for all beings this coming Holy Week.
AMEN

What is Heavan?
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: "40 Days" Third Day
Topic: want an explanation!
Somehow I can't quite picture what Heavan is.
In children's picture books, it always is tons of clouds and always perfect and beautiful. Sure, the beautiful must be right on target, but I can't help but wonder, is it really on CLOUDS? Many times rockets have shot out of the Earth's atmosphere and past the clouds. Even when you're in an airplain you soar at the height where "Heavan" is. Really? I dont believe that. Maybe somewhere higher up, past the galaxies with all their planets and stars, past everything, The Lord's Kingdom Awaits Us. Or maybe it's really always just out of reach, that we really have passed it all the time, just never known it. Because with God's power, that is possible. It truly is. Who knows? Certainly not me!

I looked over the internet, to see what some people said.
1-The heavans are a dwelling place for God, his son Jesus and the angels.
2-I really feel that it is a place where all of our loved ones have gone to and will meet us there when we go.
3-Many people think Heavan is described as the New Jerusalem. The 12 gates of pearl, the street of gold, the river of life, the 12, foundations of precious stones, etc.etc... But this is incorrect! Jew Jerusalem is hte Bride of Christ. That's you and me and all the others who help make up the Bride of Christ! Well what then is Heaven? "Eye hath not seen, nor ear has heard the Things Christ has prepared for those that love Him. In my father's house are Many Mansions, if it were not so, I would have told you. Behold I go to prepare a place, so that when I come again, what where I am, there you may be also." Eyes and ears cannot begin to Imagin what Heavan looks like. But it sure is going to be GRAND!
4- Heavan is seeing Jesus face to face and giving Him all the Glory, and Seeing our loved ones saved in Him again, and hearing the Angels sing....
5-I cannot give you scripture for this as I am not that well versed but I will tell you what I believe. I do not think you can relate heaven to the things you have on earth. Streets of gold and Mansions are only analogies to what you will experiance. It will not be physical riches as they have no meaning in heaven. What would you do with Gold and Money? What would be it's value there? What need would you have for shelter. All will be spiritual. We will come together with other souls who have had our experiances and trials. It will be a joining together of many to become one. As Christ said there will be no marriages. Our souls will be joined in a way we can only simulate with our relationships and vows on earth. We will be rejoined with our loved ones in a way we could never experiance on earth. We will become one with them. And finally, I believe we will come together as one with God. Our physical bodies with all thier limitations passed away. Love God. You don't want to miss this.

---

Heavenly Father,
Help me to strive for You and Your Kingdom. I want to be there, to finally know what it is and what it is like.
Lord, I know at times I do not show You and am not humbled in my awe of You. I want to be great, but at times I fall and forget that to be great I must be the least of all and to serve them. In the coming days, I pray that you will able me to be humble.
AMEN.

"Shine Jesus Shine"
Mood:  bright
Now Playing: P.O.D.
Topic: praise song
"Lord the light of your love is shining
In the midst of the darkness shining
Jesusa aliaght of the world shine upon us
Set us free by the truth you now bring us
Shine on me Shine on me
Shine Jesus shine, fill this land with the Father's Glory
Blaze spirit blaze, set our hearts on fire
Flow river flow, flood the nations with grace and mercy
Send forth your word Lord and let there be light."Shine Jesus Shineby Graham Kendrick

"Lord, I life Your name on high;
Lord, I love to sing Your praises.
I'm so glad You're in my life;
I'm so glad You came to save us.
You came from Heaven to Earth to show the way,
From the earth to the cross, by debt to pay.
From the cross to the grave, From the grave to the sky;
Lord, I life your name on high!"Lord, I lift your name on High by Rick Founds

"I want Jesus to walk with me;
I want Jesus to walk with me;
All along my pilgrim journey. Lord,
I want Jesus to walk with me.
In my trials, Lord walk with me;
In my trials, Lord, walk with me;
When my heart is almost breaking, Lord,
I want Jesus to walk with me."I want Jesus Traditional

"Create in me a clean heart, oh Lord
And renew a right spirit within me
Restore onto me, the joy of thy salvation
And renew a right spirit within me."Create in Me a Clean Heart by i dont know!

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Amazing Lord,
Teach me to take these words to heart. Let these soulfould songs truly speak to me and let me learn from them.
AMEN

Posted by nEsSa at 10:50 PM
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