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I'm James. 20 years old and am a Louisiana Tech BULLDOG. Email me @ Jlo013@latech.edu. Or IM me on my screen name, JaMeSl1585. Get to know me. Check Out My PROFILE (ALSO SIGN MY GUESTBOOK BELOW!!!) COOL PAGES ESPN | The Spark | College Club | Louisiana Tech Athletics | Funny Ish | FRIENDS PAGES Kat | Christine M.  Sign My Guestbook |
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June 13, 2007 8:31 p.m. Wow. A year and 3 months. Thats a long time, hmm so what brought me back? Lets just say an old friend. I read that last post and Im like, damn that sounds kinda faggy. LoL I dont normally cry so whatever it was musta been real deep. Anyways. So a lots changed. #1 I'm in Rhode Island right now, actually for the whole summer. Im at the University of Rhode Island in Kingston Rhode Island on an undergraduates summer research program. Learning a hell of a lot of stuff and I basically live the life of a graduate student, research research, and more research. The city is kinda lame, the girls have no ass whatsoever, and theres nothing to do. Still its a blessing though. Learning a lot of stuff. #2 Im in love with someone special. No we're not together although Ive had one girlfriend since the last time I posted. But shes really special to me, and we'll just see what happens in the future. #3 My families doing well, especially my mom she's really happy and being successful, and when she's happy Im happy. #4 I applied to pharmacy school this year and didn't get in. Thats okay though, this research program Im doing might open a lot of opportunities up for me. Also its in Pharmacology, so thats a good thing, right around my alley. Speaking of which Im still in Houston TX and attend Texas Southern university and I work at Walgreens! Aight. So thats the update, I gotta keep writing in this thing. Venting like this, its great! March, 18, 2006 10:05 p.m. Tonight, for the first time in a long time I cried... for reasons I can't explain, but I was hurt. All of what happened tonight made me have flash backs of a bad time in my life and it was the only way I could express myself. My sister told me to pray. I'm gonna do it not because she told me, or because it seems like the right thing to do, but because my instinct as a christian man is telling me to. I cried, and then 5 minutes later my head was lifted up higher than it ever has before. I hope that means something. Saturday, February 25, 2006 11:25 p.m. This past week was overall really good... a lot of positive things I can comment on. I got my car back (for a few days) lol til something else went wrong again today... But Honda, their really professional here and they gave me a rental car. Like a 2006 Honda Civic... Its a nice car man, kinda slow, but nice. My teachers in my classes are freakin tight. Like if u go to their office hours they will HELP you, and I do mean help, u just have to have sex with them and thats all (Joking)! I started working out again, got a work out partner, wake up @ 5:45 am to start, finish up at about 7. Its a good thing to get back into, cause a few weeks ago this guy said my stomach was gettin "happy". I was like, "Your cottage cheese thighs look ecstatic b****"! Not really, but I got offended, but I couldn't because its true, Ive been eating like a slob and only study, no physical activities, so good thing I changed that! I got my orientation tommorrow for Abercrombie, kinda nervous/excited to start working too. Sunday, February 19, 2006 11:40 a.m. Ive been cleanin up this morning and organizing stuff and telling myself my goals for the rest of this semester... and I want a tattoo damnit. I drew it up even though I suck at drawing when I do get it Im gonna be back fit like I was when I played college ball... but anyways its going to be a cross, a sun, with a cross in the middle of it, I think... is that not original? I want to make sure its something very original, cause I'll get pissed if I see somebody else with it. Wow... black colleges and the professors there are hilarious... I cant even say what happened in one of my classes.. but I think one of my professors might be gay and likes me lol I'll stop there though, I cant prove it or anything, but just a thought. Im gonna be tryin to finish organizing things for the rest of this week, go read ahead in some classes, do some homework all that good stuff.. try and make this a good week (especially if I get my car back). Thursday, February 16, 2006 9:31 p.m. This week flew by. Another week without a car! Least I figured out what Im'a do with it. I took it to Honda and let them fix it. That costed so much money... man I dont even want to talk about it. I also had to write a letter to the President of Honda Automobiles. LoL It was like 4 pages long... I hope they'll read it, if not I saved a copy and I'll just shorten it to a page and a half or something. THey better give me my damn money back! Stupid cars transmission goin out! I took my first Pharmacy Orientation today. I know it went decent but I am hoping I got lucky on the ones I had to guess on and maybe came out with like at least a High B... crossin my fingers though. Ohh Valentines day! It didn't suck or anything. Kathryn was my Valentine... :). I called Tenisha too that night and we talked for a while... man.. if I was back at tech I would definately be trying to date her... I couldnt meet a girl better for me personality wise... she's smart, athletic, puts god before everything, always positive, never complains she's just what u want in a woman... and thats just it she's a woman not a lil girl.. She's coming to Houston in like 2 or 3 weeks so I really am kinda excited about that... I hope I dont lick her face without realizing it until after its happened! Sunday, February 12, 2006 9:46 p.m. I went all the home to get it, drove it for a day and a half, and it broke on me on the interstate coming back to Houston again.... I'm so fed up with this. I dont even know what to do. Saturday, February 11, 2006 9:25 p.m. I hate when your talking/flirting with a girl and you freeze up, well someone who you actually am interested in talking to. This one girl I met at LSU last summer when I took classes there, we got really cool and then stuff went down, she stopped talking to me etc. I really liked her though so like a month ago I went to her job and confessed my infatuation for her! Then she told me she was still dating the same guy as then (Um.... I think its 8 years they've been dating she said). But yea I dont care must not be too happy if she's giving me a little time of day. Anyways I went back today to Barnes & Nobles, where she worked and went right up to her and asked her to help me look up books on Pharmacy Technicians and she got some books IPN#'s then told me to follow her (I felt like a bad boy going into the office, but thats okay cause I loved that s*** i got hot for a sec). Man she's so sexy, but thats besides the point so anyways we were all alone and I start asking her questions about how her lifes been etc, small talk stuff but I had so much more I wanted to ask and say and when she was done with me she even asked me "So, is that all you wanted?" And I said "Uhh.. Yea" like a puss!! Im 20 years old Ive talked to many girls, why did I pull that rookie s***!! I coulda made myself or broke myself w/ her today, and I broke my self. Damnit I regretted it the second she turned away and said "bye". Thursday, February 9, 2006 2:38 p.m. Cars fixed! Took two freakin weeks to do it and cost $180 more but its done, so I'll stop whining about it. This week has been real cool as far as meeting people, I met a whole buncha people this week and some of them its amazing how fast we just clicked and feels like we've been friends forever. Along with this one guy who was two years younger than me that went to high school with me, I didnt know who he was but I saw on facebook he had posted on one of my good friends walls so I knew he had to be cool and he was real cool, kinda gave me the scoop on just about everybody and the to-do's and not to-do's. I'm goin home this weekend, leaving tommorrow right after my Math class. Tommorrow mornin @ 9 is my first test at this college, in Organic Chem. I studied my a** off for it so I hope it pays off. Tuesday, February 7, 2006 9:19 p.m. My car might be fixed... that would be so tight, Im trying not to get too excited but he says he think he fixed it, just wants to keep it over night and will retest it in the morning. First test at this school (in Organic) is on Friday, kinda nervous! And if my car is fixed Im goin home this weekend, Damn Im excited! Saturday, February 4, 2006 2:06 p.m. Sometimes, when I study and think about getting into pharmacy school I grin real big and then all these crazy noises come out of my mouth... only when no ones lookin though. Guess I want it really bad huh? Damn dude, he needs to fix my car. Tired of whining about it but he's messin up my life. LoL last time when i was in Baton Rouge I got stuck there cause he said it'd take a day or two to fix, (I ended up being there for 5 days and he still didn't fix it) and I went to the shop to check up on it, he was underneath the car on this thing u lie back on so you wont be dirty and he was SLEEPING under the car? WTF?? *Sigh*, I'll just take it to the manufacturer next time. Like I said its messin with my life, John (a guy I played high school football with) is real upset cause he invited me to this superbowl party in Baton Rouge thats posed to be real big and I cant make it and promised him I would. I dont even have a tv so I dunno how Ima watch the superbowl this year man! Its football though, where theres a will, theres a way. Thursday, February 2, 2006 6:37 p.m. I keep making excuses to myself for why I cant go work out, thats why I look the way I do. Dang, last week I missed a whole bunch of classes cause I had to go home for my car acting up, but today I just missed Pharmacy 112 because I was irresponsible. I thought it was at 5 and it really was at 4 so I screwed myself again. Missing this class wouldnt be so bad but this class is only one day a week. Thankfully this guy I know, he's the TA let me sign the late role otherwise I would have been dropped from the class for having 2 absenses. I hope I get to go home tommorrow, the only way I will is if they have my car ready, and I dunno with these guys fixing my car I cant win. Its been a week and a day now and every day he says it'll be ready and I call the next day and its still not ready. Im tryin not complain so much, but I just got to Houston and all Im exploring is the University, this cities too big for that. Wednesday, February 1, 2006 4:08 p.m. Houston, Piece of S*** Car, Supportive Family, Ghetto Dorms. Those would be short phrases that describe my life right now. I moved to Houston About 2 or 3 weeks ago for school at Texas Southern University. A Historically Black University. Whole different view of things, in fact I was in culture shock when I first came here cause Im not use to seeing this many black folks, I still am kinda in Culture shock. I saw an amazing thing today though, a man, had to be about 38 years old, maybe even a professor got up on the "Tiger Walk" the place where all the folks collide and floss their ice and the unsaid fashion shows go on, basically its where all the people want to see others and be seen themselves and just chill I guess. He got up and called out everyone around on the negative things that go on at a my school, like how there are about 4700 freshman when school begins and by the end of the year that number decreases by 60%. He complained about us setting negative statistics on our own people and being the main reason those statistics are what they are. He definately caught my attention. He basically said just everybody needs to get on their business and stop playing around so much. I wish I had the balls to get out there and say whatever I wanted like that. My families been so supportive of me the past few months since they found out I was movin, I never expected this from them... I always just thought they were crazy and were just a wall god set up for me to break through one day and run away... lol thats sad huh? Not as bad as these ghetto a** dorms my daddy got me stayin in though, I dont know If Im gonna make it here. Its not me at all. Im trying my best though. Not to worry though, the sooner I get my car back and have mobile freedom, I'll be alright. Carmen lives here and so does Shade, my cousin and her parents... they helped me out a lot when I first got here too. I'm really liking Houston though its a nice city but crime is all around me so I just gotta watch myself, and Im studying really hard and all in school, can't let myself down anymore I'm getting too old for mistakes and doin stuff I'm going to regret. Sunday, November 6, 2005 2:10 p.m. That last week went by so fast. At least it was good. The only negative thing was school. Im not going to get all A's and B's. Im going to pull a C in my easiest class. Thats not cool. But yea I guess I shouldnt have taken that for granted. At least one great thing happened. My dads going to borrow me money to get my car fixed and my moms giving me money too so hopefully I have my car back by the end of this week. I miss my baby so much... Im gonna wash the hell out of the day I get it back. Sunday, October 30, 2005 4:03 p.m. I hope time goes by faster so I can get off work soon. I really am lazy though. I know millions of college students who would love to have my job. Get paid really well, sit in your room, watch tv and play video games and just talk on the phone and get paid. I never do my job right though lol. This week is extremely important.. well really the next 2 and a half weeks. Everything has to be like clock work, studying, sleeping, eating everything. I have to make all A's on all the rest of my test in all my classes for finals and I HAVE to get that money for my damn car and I HAVE to find out what school Im going to be at in January. I thought I was sure but then my dad... man he's annoying he calls and starts fussing about all this school stuff changing my plans. But I have to please him so I didn't say anything. So anyways, my last two and a half weeks here, all work no play, I'll miss the few friends I made and all but I gots to handle my business. October 27, 2005. 10:14 p.m. My roommate creeps me out when he sleeps. He puts a rag over his eyes and locks his fingers behind his head and has a big grin on his face for like an hour or something before he rolls over.. Man that looks straight crazy. What the hells he smilin about? Some white people are kinda crazy. I talked to my mom today... she made me feel soo bad cause I havent talked to my MOM in 3 weeks or something. But shes doing well so I was happy to hear that, her business is picking up a lot so thats good for her. I actually told her about my car. She said shed try to help me then when I said that I was like "Aww Ma I love you" and shes like "Motha****** thats the only time you love me is when I give you Money" Then I felt bad and told her I didn't want her to help me anymore. But yea I love ma Mama and its horrible that she thinks that of me. *Sigh* What can ya do though? I should be studying I didnt have to work out tonight cause Steven canceled on me again. Wuss. Anyways Least I can go to sleep early. October 25, 2005. 11:26 p.m. GOD! I'm so weak. Like she's been throwing out signs to me for a while, maybe not on purpose because shes beautiful and might be a player, I dont know. I haven't talked to her on the phone in at least 2 weeks, and only talked to her around school once in the past 2 weeks. I get on the phone and say "Damn, girl I can't remember the last time I talked to you." She says "Yea, but we've seen each other around school." That time we talked at school, we argued, and it was for like 4 or 5 minutes. If this girl was the slightest bit interested in me, she'd care that we haven't talked in two weeks and she would actually come talk to me when Im sitting alone before she sits down with her friends instead of wave from afar. Not try to get off the phone with me after we've talked for 15 minutes. I know the game, I play it myself, I guess I just have a hard time realizing that Im the one that getting played this time. Yea she has that paper but so what? You make a few sacrifices for people who you like or even respect. "She's just not that into you," I need to get that concept and fast. Its addictive.. trying to get what you want but sometimes you have to know when to quit. Sh** I needa get an A on that Bio 132 test tommorrow too but I dunno, Id have to get real lucky. October 23, 2005. 5:11 p.m. I feel really good today, like completely relaxed. I don't know if thats a good thing or not though, it's kinda win-lose situation. I got a makeup Organic Test tommorrow @ 11 and I still havent looked at it. But on the other hand, man do I need today to just chill so I wont go crazy because this week is going to be rough, trying to get that loan for my car and school and yea. Only 4 more weeks left and Im outta this town. :) I emailed Amelie today because we been butting heads lately. Amelie is this girl that I was very interested in but I never was sure she was as interested in me. We went out on one real date and hung out a few times, Everytime has been real good though, and Id always kiss her on her cheak of forehead but sometimes shed lean it for it so, I dunno. I liked her though, shes gorgeous. Anyways...
10.23.05 1:11pm James: Hey, Sup? How was homecoming weekend for you? What'd you do?
Im still waiting on her reply, its kinda worthless talking to her, shes gorgeous, a Grad student who already has one masters degree, about to get her other one in February, then shes moving, and she doesn't know where to. So yea, we havent made a strong enough bond for her to even care about me when she moves, just being realistic though. Anyways, I'm working right now, don't get off til' 8 but man I need to get on the ball and be studyin that Organic! October 22, 2005. 10:07 a.m. *Worst week of my life? I'm not supposed to be writing this right now. I'm not. October 22, 2005. That days been driving me crazy for the past month and a half, mentioning that day every day. God. Saying God's name is right, because it seems like only he could put me in my place like this. This has been the worst week of my life. I'll start from the begining. Sunday- Took my car for a drive before work and blew my own engine driving CARELESSLY like I always do. Monday- I made a good grade on my test but the thing is is that I cheated. Tuesday- I skipped my Organic Chemistry test completely, just didnt go. Wednesday- Slept in classes, Thursday- Got in an argument with Amelie Friday- Found out my car would be $2,443.00 (No way in hell I have that money to fix it). Saturday- I missed the biggest fucking exam of my life and Im trying my best to blame someone else, but I can't blame anyone but myself... Yea those assholes down the hall were being loud and kept waking me up laughing but still.. if I would have went to sleep earlier than usual it wouldn't have happened. Why couldnt god just give me the strength to wake up 15 minutes earlier, thats all I needed was 15 minutes. I was so scared to call my dad. I almost wanted to just lie and tell him that I took the test but did really poorly. But I called him. He said "Son, I always tell everyone that your going to be a great man someday, your a great kid, your going somewhere, but you know what? The past year I've watched you fall apart and the truth is, your not better than anyone else. Your generation is the worst male generation ever and I truely feel sorry for the future of the world." Ive never felt so small in my life. Any man who can come out of this situation unbrokened has no heart whatsoever. October 21, 2005. 11:40 a.m. So I decided to Start Over. I had to, like it was something I couldnt go without doing another day. I was just lying down trying to take a nap before my last class of the day and I couldn't go to sleep. I was just thinking, my mind was going from subject to subject. I wonder how dramatic my life is compared to other people my age. Tommorrow I have the biggest test of my life. My PCAT test (Pharmacy College Admissions Test). Like Im beyond nervous. The worst part is Im discouraged. I asked my dad to buy the study book for it a month and a half ago off ebay and he did but the people never sent it so I havent studied for it at all. The only positive thing about that is Im retaking a lot of my classes over to get better grades and its serving as a review too.. I just hope god gives me a lil help tommorrow because I know I need it. Like the parts Im most scared about is the Anatomy and the Math. Im studying with this girl who's taking it with me at 4 I think until whenever. My life is not all that cheery right now I have to admit, but I have never been more proud of myself. Like I'm so much more mature than I have ever been. Like I make sacrifices all the time to make sure I'm putting myself on the right tract to feel good about myself again, because the grades I use to makes, C's, D's and F's just wasn't hackin it. I have not been out at all since 2 days before school started and we're on like week 6... its depressing. I calculated what my perspective GPA is gonna be and the least I projected it could fall is a 3.33 for this quarter, and thats by slacking off a lot. So thats a huge improvement from my 1.68 last quarter lol. God thats embarrassing, but it happened for a reason. Aight now the thing that made me not sleep is HER. Amelie, my new prospect chick I been working on. One of the most gorgeous girls in my entire school. Smart, real laid back, easy to talk to and she seems sweet. She's the only girl Ive even looked at in a serious way this quarter but now its not goin good. Like we started off real strong, went out on dates, Id take her a few places every once in a while but it was too nice... like if u want a relationship it has to be a lil more personal, and I was just about to get there before school started hitting me hard. Like we got into an argument yesterday because Ive been mad at her lately because she never spends time with me and never calls, like I always have to call her and I hate that. Like I want her to be honest with me whether or not she likes me, whether or not she just sees me as a friend, or even worse as an associate. Because this is my last quarter at this school (OH YEAAAA Im transferring in January, not sure yet, lookin like Houston though) and I want her to be real with me as to how she views me, so I know if I will be still talkin to her and stuff after I leave. Shes so smart, shes 23, workin on her second masters and she'll be out of this school in February so shes doin her thing. But she doesnt know where shes moving yet either but Houston is a possibility. Anyways man, long ass writing, but I needed to do this because all that thinking was driving me crazy. Now Im probably gonna go fall asleep in class. |