My Prison


Tuesday, June 01, 2004


I dont wanna fall to peices
I just want to sit and stare at you
I dont want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I dont want to talk about it
'couse Im in lov with you


Sunday, May 23, 2004


You can sew it up, but you'll still see the tear.

Summer started when the last bell rang.

somewhere between Saturday, April 1st to April 5th


Whoa oh oh
Ooh hooh
No No No


See i dont, know why, i liked you so much
I gave you all, of my trust
I told you, i loved you, now thats all down the drain
Ya put me through pain, i wanna let u know that i feel


Fuck what i said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses, it didnt mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, i dont want you back

Fuck what i said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses it didnt mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, i dont want you back


You thought, you could
Keep this shit from me, yeah
Ya burnt bitch, i heard the story
Ya played me, you used me
Now ya askin for me back
Ya just another hag, look elsewhere
Cuz ya done with me

Fuck what i said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses it didnt mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, i dont want you back

Fuck what i said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses it didnt mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, i dont want you back

Oh oh Oh oh
Uh hun yeah
Oh oh Oh oh
Uh hun yeah
Oh oh Oh oh
Uh hun yeah
Oh oh Oh oh
Uh hun yeah

Ya questioned, did i care
You could ask anyone, i even said
Ya were my great one
Now its, over, but i truly mean im sad
It hurts real bad, i cant sweat that, cuz i loved a hoe

Fuck what i said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses they didnt mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, i dont want you back

Oh oh Oh oh
Uh hun yeah
Oh oh Oh oh
Uh hun yeah
Oh oh Oh oh
Uh hun yeah
Oh oh Oh oh
Uh hun yeah
[Until the end]



Thursday, March 04, 2004


I guess nothing will be burned down, my brother and his wife are here, it looks like theyll be moving in until mother returns. I guess she doesnt trust me after all. Plus, theres no food for me to try and cook, she left the house completely empty of anything I could try and cook. So, there is no reason for me to use the stove. So her house will be in tact and I will be dead. Thats okay though, right?

My Horascope


You're starting to think you and your sweetie are just too different to make things work, Water-bearer. Maybe you need someone more like you. Or maybe you just need to learn to accept people who don't necessarily share ALL of your views.


Sunday, Febuary 29, 2004



all alone for a week.5, how much of the house will i burn down in the absence of my mother? We shall see.

Sunday, Febuary 19, 2004

so much for my birthday, for some it past too soon, and for others, they ignored it completely.

Sunday, January 25, 2004

blah. Just passing time.

Tuesday, January 6, 2004

We may be getting a dog for the summer. An activity buddy for Mother. I dont feel OK right now. 7/8 websites of old friends are gone. Kinda depressing... Looks kinda like Im stuck here... stuck only because Ive been stolen away from home and dumped somewhere in the middle of fucking no where. Dont mistake this for agressive behavior, Im actually very calm right now. Uncaring, frustrated and a lil sad, but no tears or thrashing. Just think... 2 days ago I was in heaven.

Sunday, January 4, 2004

I woke up and I sqeezed her tight. Within moments our arms were wrapped around one another and kisses were exchanged. That is how every morning should begin. That is what I have to look forward to, therefore I am happy. Tomorrow morning I wont have that. Tomorrow morning I will cry. Everything morning that I am without, I will cry. And every night I will cry for the mornings without that I have ahead of me.

Wednesday, November 26, 2003
7:13 PM NM*

She is like the wind. I can't see her, but i can feel her.

My new meow page for those of you who dont get out much.


Wednesday, November 19, 2003
6:39 PM NM*



Tuesday, November 18, 2003
11:18 PM NM*

Theres never enough days with her.

Dancing bears Painted wings
Things I almost remember
And a song someone sings
Once upon a December

Someone holds me safe and warm
Horses prance through a silver storm
Figures dancing gracefully
Across my memory

Far away, long ago
Glowing dim as an ember
Things my heart
Used to know
Once upon a December

Someone holds me safe and warm
Horses prance through a silver storm
Figures dancing gracefully
Across my memory

Far away, long ago
Glowing dim an as ember
Things my heart
Used to know
Things it yearns to remember

And a song
Someone sings
Once upon a December

Sunday, November 09, 2003
8:39 PM NM*

WE GET TO SEE OUR KW IN 3 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, October 27, 2003
7:46 PM NM*

I dont remember why we were crying lol prolly bc we miss our kw. It's shower time though. After dinner.

Monday, October 21, 2003
12:54 AM NM*

tonight we are crying

Friday, October 17, 2003
1:03 AM NM*

i got stuck taking a stupid IQ test lol

Thursday, October 16, 2003
5:46 CA*

I have a new understanding for the phone.

There was a day here but ive decided that it isnt worth putting here anymore.

Sunday, September 21, 2003
2:21 NM*

Im sorry

Monday, September 15, 2003
8:30 PM CA*



Sunday, September 14, 2003
2:41 AM CA*

Im so used to seeing those yellow smilies now... i am beginning to forget what she looks like.

1. finish journalism story idea poster
2. finish Moby Dick
3. work on tennis cover
4. revise and recreate 8 (I did 7) journal entries for creative writing
5. Study for chemistry test
6. read more of chapter 5 of history book
7. make 20 (did hella today) more cranes for art project
8. I printed the surveys out already.
9. analysis poem for English
10. do math homework
11. I went to Coas books.. they didnt have my psychology text book.
12. I washed clothes, and took a shower
13. I printed pictures for anel

Friday, September 12, 2003
5:34 PM CA*

purrrrrrrrrrrrrr

1. finish journalism story idea poster
2. finish Moby Dick
3. work on tennis cover
4. revise and recreate 15 journal entries for creative writing
5. Study for chemistry test
6. start chapter 5 of history book
7. make 100 more cranes for art project
8. print out 30 more psychology surveys
9. analysis poem for English
10. do math homework
11. go to coas books
12. wash clothes, take shower
13. print pictures for anel

Monday, September 8, 2003
8:50 PM CA*

muahs

Sunday, September 7, 2003
10:46 AM CA*

If anyone has some nice deep insights on Moby Dick, do let me know. My email is sweetnoodle2002@yahoo.com thank you. -TAMS

Wednesday, September 3, 2003
12:25 PM am? i really need to clear that up... CA*

ugg times 2



Tuesday, September 2, 2003
7:42 PM CA*

ugg

Saturday, August 23, 2003
11:59 PM CA*

My baby, she don't talk sweet
she ain't not much to say
But she loves me, loves me, loves me
I know that she loves me anyway

And maybe she don't dress fine
But I don't really mind
'Cuz every time she pulls me near
I just wanna cheer:

LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE GIRL!
On, let's give the girl a hand
Let's hear it for my baby
You gotta understand
Maybe sheís no Romeo
But she's my one-man show
LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE GIRL!

My baby may not be rich
Sheís watching every dime
But every night she holds me
And we always have a real good time

And maybe she sings off-key
That's alright by me
But what she does she does so well
Makes me wanna yell
LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE GIRL!
Oh, let's give the girl a hand

Thursday, August 21, 2003
10:40 PM *CA time

kill me now

Wednesday, August 20, 2003
9:27 PM *CA time

Tonight it doesnít matter how hot the water is
Doesnít matter how many times the same song plays on my CD player
I canít hear it anyways
Tonight it doesnít matter if the water burns
Doesnít matter how many of my fingers turn to prunes
I canít feel it anyways
Tonight the water will wash everything gone
I don't care if it takes all night
In this world you have to have a razor to your wrist or
A pump to your stomach
To get any attention
Tonight that wonít matter because Iím washing it gone
I will wash myself into the drain along with everything else
That is the only way to get clean
Turn the hot water all the way till there is none left
And thatís still not enough
Tonight it doesnít matter how hot the water is
Iím still here

Sunday, August 17, 2003
12:19 PM AM? its late saturday night damnit lol *CA time

tired. tired. tired.

Friday, August 15, 2003
10:55 PM*CA time

I was without internet and a kw for awhile. jeeze, could it get any worse?

I personally think the bedtime stories were worth it though. She even sang to me.

Saturday, August 09, 2003
2:55 AM *CA time

i love her

Saturday, August 09, 2003
2:12 PM *CA time

Fuel
Shimmer

She calls me from the cold
Just when I was low, feeling short of stable
And all that she intends
And all she keeps inside isn't on the label
She says she's ashamed
Can she take me for awhile
Can I be a friend, we'll forget the past
Or maybe I'm not able
And I break at the bend

We're here and now, will ever be again
'Cause I have found
All that shimmers in this world is sure to fade
Away again

She dreams a champagne dream
Strawberry suprise, pink linen on white paper
Lavender and cream
Fields of butterflies, reality escapes her
She says that love is for fools that fall behind,
And I'm somewhere between
Never really know
A killer from a savior
'Til I break at the bend

We're here and now, will ever be again
'Cause I have found
All that shimmers in this world is sure to fade
Away again

It's to far away for me to hold
To far away....
It's to far away for me to hold
To far away....

It's to far away for me to hold
To far away....
It's to far away for me to hold
To far away....
It's to far away for me to hold
To far away....

It's to far away for me to hold
To far away....

Guess I'll let it go....


Friday, August 08, 2003
10:58 PM *CA time

I know now why all those fuckin boring ass people from like Texas have lyrics and shit on their profile. Its because nothing else fucking happens out here in fucking nowhere. They cuss a lot, they like lyrics and they have sex. Thats about it. So here is my contribution to the new boring ass me. Long Live The California Girl. Ha, my ass.

A long, long time ago... I can still remember how
That music used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my chance,
That I could make those people dance,
And maybe they'd be happy for a while.

Soo..Bye, bye miss American Pie
Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry
And good ol' boys were drinking whisky and rye?
Singing this will be the day that I die
this will be the day that I die
And as flames climbed high into the night
To light the sacrificial rite
I saw satan laughing with delight
the day the music died.


Feeling of the day: depressed