The tale of the Nasty Old Skank Crackho
by PappyJ

	Once upon a time in a land far far across the street, Grampappy had
just gotten off work, and was sitting around sippin on a coke waiting for
Gimp Goat to get off work as well. An old scragly lady dressed as a 16 year
old crackwhore was in Garfeald's bothering people, which was bad because she
was like 75.
	Pappy shuddered and continued to sip his coke, shooting the breeze
with fellow coworkers to pass the time away. Meanwhile the crackwhore kept
looking around and bothering people as if it were a newborn puppy, eager to
explore and see the world, and probably just as smart as one. Now now, that's
not fair to puppies. I'm sorry puppies.
	Then as the planets aligned and god signed the declaration of war on
Pappy, the old crackwhore came up to pappy to ask for a smoke. He shuddered
and gave her one in hopes she would leave hastily. As she walked away, she
tried to sway her hips as to be sexy, when in reality she only burned a ghastly
image into pappy's brain for eternity, only to be erased by a very generous
labotomy and large quantities of alcohol. 
Grampappy was not amused.
	Thinking the horror was over, he relaxed and shrugged off any comments
from stupid coworkers like Smackaroni, who had called the old bag of wrinkled
mutated animal flesh pappy's new girlfriend. Sadly, Smackaroni had an 
unfortunate incident with the tomato dicer in the kitchen............. :D
	Just then, he sees the from the corner of his eye the shadowy
figure of satan spawn coming ever closer. Pappy began to pray to god that
she not go over to him again, but then realized god was an evil evil man and
made her go to him even faster. When she got there, she rasped out another
request for a smoke, producing the absolute best anti-smoking ad pappy's 
ever seen. Again, pappy tried to appease her to make her go away by giving
her another, but this time, she puts her hand on pappy's knee as she's 
lighting it.
	As Grampappy's mouth gaped in horror over the atrocity of the event
that had just taken place, he punched her in the mouth and drug her into the
kitchen. After running the tomato dicer through the dishwasher a few times
(because clean does not necessarily mean sanitized) he diced her into itty 
bitty pieces of old wrinkly probably STD ridden quivering flesh, to be fed
to the local bums at the Red Light Mission.

Moral: for the love of john, when you're an old woman on drugs,
	please don't dress as if you were 16... it's indecent on all levels.