The Tale of TheLittleSLutWhoreThatNeedsToBeShotInTheHead

Once upon a time, grampappy was talking to a girl named kristen(TLSWTNTBSITH)
over the phone and online. SHe had recently broken up with grampappy's friend
at the time, WelfareChild. SO grampappy thought he'd try to get her from the rebound.
SO they talked and chatted and had a gay ol' time. So they arranged to meet at
Honey Crick Mall one summer afternoon. So on that day, grampappy was nervous and
decided to bring gimp goat along for support. When TLSWTNTBSITH arrived, they began
walking around the mall, but grampappy couldn't say anything.
Grampappy was very shy and didn't know where to begin, so gimp goat thought he'd try
to help out by initiating conversation. So grampappy walked along with gimp and
TLSWTNTBSITH while they talked, not feeling very good about the situation... 
So later they met up with TLSWTNTBSITH's mom and she left. Later that night, pappy
and gimp were at gimp goat's house online and they saw TLSWTNTBSITH online. 
She started to chat with gimp and she then told him that she didn't like grampappy
no no, she had a thing for gimp goat.
Grampappy was not amused.
Poor gimp goat was too involved with the conversation to notice grampappy behind 
him with a duel-fan boat motor. Poor gimp goat got an old-fashioned circumcision 
that ended up a little more like a castration.... oh well.

Oh, and later that week a mysterious man in black with a cane shot TLSWTNTBSITH. 
We may never know who it was...

Moral: Stealing is disease. Stealing from grampappy is a terminal illness.