The Tale Of THe Cock-Eyed Dog

One day while Grampappy and Gimp Goat were at Charlie the Impotent KKK member's
house looking for Soccer Girl, they spotted an odd looking black not quite
furry animal. It looked like a dog, but with pig qualities... hmm, So grampappy 
and gimp goat decided to name it "pig-dog".
The little creature with it's ability to look in two different directions at the
same time decided to roll over and roll around on its back.
Grampappy was amused.
Then the dog spit up on gimp goat's 18th pair of tommy socks. As gimp danced the
happy squirrel dance, grampappy noticed one of pig-dog's 18 hairs on his new pants.
Grampappy was not amused.
So grampappy picked the almost bald little dog and used it to thump his tires to 
check if they had enough pressure in them, then plucked out the rest of his 17 hairs
to make the dog look like a rat with rabies.

Moral: Call 1-800-rogaine