The Guy Who Said "Call First"

One time Grampappy got an order to deliver to some person in an apartment complex
that had the door locked.
The guy said "Call before you deliver so I can unlock the door"
So grampappy though "Easy enough" and when it was time, he tried to call the guy.
Busy.
"Ok, I can wait." thought grampappy.
30 seconds later grampappy tried again.
Busy.
Grampappy was not amused.
So grampappy thought he'd give the guy one more chance.
Busy.
With rage grampappy ripped up the ticket the order was written down on.
The manager told grampappy to take the delivery and he'd try to call the guy.
"Fair enough." Thought grampappy as he took the pizza.
WHen he got there, the door was unlocked and on it said
"Please do not lock: expecting UPS guy."
Grampappy was not amused.
UPS? Was the guy on crack or something?
So grampappy took the pizza upstairs to apt. 2, when he knocked and a nerdy 
voice shouted, "Coming"
Grampappy chuckled to himself to see a rather large nerdy fellow answer the door.
THen the large nerdy fellow crowded grampappy in the hall so his cat wouldn't get out.
Grampappy was not amused.
In his nerdy voice the guy said "Just give me back a 5"
This gave grampappy a tip of approximately $.85
Again, grampappy was not amused.
Grampappy then took the rather large nerdy fellow by the hair and flung him down
the stairs. The kitty got out and grampappy stuck it in a paper sack and tossed
it out the window. Grampappy then almost hit the side of his car on a telephone pole
next to where he parked.

Moral: Don't be a nerdy fat guy that says "call first", make the line busy then tip badly.