Jim The Possum

	One day Jim the Possum was out wandering about his home in search of food. 
As he was cracking open a walnut, he sees his favorite son, Jed get hit by a car.
"Noooooooo!!!!" he squeeked as he ran over to see his son's mangled 
body missing a few limbs.
He was having a bad day.
Then when he got home from cracking his walnut and seeing his son mauled by a '99 camaro
he goes to the fridge for a Bud Light only to see a "Dear John" letter from his wife, Ma.
"Dear Jim, I've left you for your cousin Billy the Mole. He has a bigger..... house."
"Noooooooo!!!!" he squeeked as he ran into the bedroom to look for his shotgun.
This was a very bad day.
So he's crying as he sits in his easy chair to watch a little "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"
when suddenly a newsflash comes on that Jim's mom, Bertha the Possum
was hit by a cement mixer.
"Noooooooo!!!!" he squeeked as he made a stink on his chair.
He could take no more.
Jim ran outside to go find a hiding space for peace and quiet when suddenly he sees 
headlights aiming right towards him.
"Noooooooo!!!!" he squeeked as he hit the deck, waiting for his skull to be crushed 
by the tires of a Mack Truck. 
But his skull was saved, the Mack Truck saw him and slowed down.
"Whew" he thought as he wiped his brow.
SPLAT! SPLAT! went the possum as Grampappy Joe came from the opposite direction in the 
pimpmobile running over Jim
while his back was turned.

Moral: Look both ways before crossing the street.