My best friend, Adam, aka Gimp Goat, died July 24th, 2004 from cancer. I couldn't believe that, me and charlie had gone to visit him in the hospital 2 days earlier, and he was in good spirits, planning on getting out sunday, and had even wanted me to come by with some movies just to hang out and watch something, then saturday morning, charlie came by around 11am, and as soon as I saw him walk by my window, I knew shit had hit the fan. he told me and I had to take a step back for a few minutes... I cried while I was taking a shower, getting ready to go around and let people know with charlie that adam was gone. Probably first time i've cried, except for getting hit with some large blunt object, since my old cat Sincope ran away, and that has to be about 15 years ago.

First we went to pizza inn, and greg and lynn had the same feeling once they saw me and charlie pull into the parking lot. We were in the back just feeling like crap for almost an hour, then we took greg home, he certainly didn't feel the need to work after hearing that news. As we pulled up to his place, Jen Creasey called and me and charlie started to freak out, wondering what we should say or where to meet, so we met in a parking lot near there and as soon as she saw me and charlie in the car just... there, she knew too. I felt bad enough, but it felt like me and charlie were just the walking bad news sign, people knew, as soon as they saw us. Us 3 went back to greg's, cassie was crying and greg was still upset, we all were, like less than a month before, doctors had said adam had anywhere from 6 months to 2 years to live, less than a month later he's gone. All of us just sat around, sharing the adam stories, trying to cheer ourselves up. Later me charlie and jen went to this I think vietnamese restaurant, I just drank Dos Equis, hoping to just get drunk and remember my fallen comrade. Work, however, thought differently. They had a catering or something and needed me to come in, so reluctantly I went, didn't tell my parents til sunday, even then I had to leave a note, didn't feel up to just saying "oh hey, adam died saturday"

Later that night me and charlie were wondering how we were going to get ahold of people from adam's past that weren't here and didn't even know he had cancer, like kay, kristy, bryan, katie, so on and so forth, and as fate would have it, earlier in the month, kristy had signed my guestbook on my site, and left her new e-mail address, so I e-mailed her saturday night, and didn't get an answer, til tuesday when she called charlie to tell him she was on her way to the funeral home, adam's viewing was tuesday, funeral was wednesday. It was the first time we'd seen or talked to kristy since she moved back to Valpraiso a long ass time ago. She still kept in touch with kay and peggy, so after we left the funeral home that night, she went to terre haute to find them and let them know. The funeral home adam was at was in paris, IL. It was weird seeing people I hadn't seen in so long, and to have it be under such crappy circumstances.

The funeral came and went, me and charlie were pall bearers, and I didn't shed a tear until they closed the caskett. Just couldn't hold it back after that. and who could, anyway. To be honest, he's better off now, he doesn't have to worry about cancer, people looking at him because he had lost so much weight and his hair started to fall out, no more crap being thrown at him, each time overcoming, but with a little piece of him being just worn each time. I hadn't known or seen anyone go through so much trash in their lifetime and still turn out to be a decent human being, he was still adam. He hadn't become bitter at the world, he just wanted to beat it and get on with the rest of his life, but he couldn't overcome this. It all finally caught up to him. And I'm pissed. So much garbage in the world, and a guy who didn't do anything but be mine and charlie's best friend gets taken from us, at 23. That's how the world works though. I'll never forget him, he'll always be part of the trio known as the IQ Club, and will always be half of the famous Rock'n Sock connection. He'll be with me til the day I die, and that's a promise. Miss you dawg.